LOLA, AKA WRAPPED UP IN TWO FAMILIES

During Kerrie’s first night at Duke’s house, she constantly texts me. I sense Poppy got her riled up at the party. Val’s mom kept poking Kerrie, asking questions about why she only had girls and if she had always been a neglectful mom.

“She’s testing you,” I whispered to Kerrie more than once.

My mom only mumbled, “I’m not good at tests. I was barely a C student.”

“Well, you could try testing her back.”

That led to Kerrie asking if all of Poppy’s sons were slut-shamers. Val’s mom nearly gasped herself into a coma. Justice had to fan her sister while Journey laughed at the drama.

“I don’t think I won,” Kerrie texted later once she was down for the night.

“It’s not a real competition. No one is winning or losing. Val’s family just likes to make noise.”

My mom doesn’t get it. She has lame middle-aged friends who talk about homemade bread and beeswax candles. They don’t razz each other like Poppy and her sisters do. If someone has something snarky to say, they do it behind each other’s back.

Kerrie texts me as soon as she gets up in the morning. Her newest concern is Clover keeping secrets.

“She used to hate the phone. Now she’s always on it,” Kerrie says while standing behind me while I work at the diner and Val rides around with Duke. “Who is she texting at all hours?”

“She’s made friends with Roxie and a few girls she met through the homestead. None of them are obsessed with dating.”

Kerrie glances at my grandma at the front counter before lowering her voice and asking, “Is your sister gay?”

“I don’t think so,” I whisper back and then flip the burger patties. “Why wouldn’t she tell us? It’s not like we’d hassle her.”

“No, I guess not, but she’s nineteen. How can she not be interested in guys?”

“She’s been saying for years how she wants to buy a house and fill it with pets. At no point has she ever shown interest in guys, girls, or babies. I think we should embrace her quirkiness.”

Kerrie nods, haphazardly cuts a head of lettuce, nearly slices her finger, and puts the knife down.

“What’s wrong with Duke?” Kerrie asks as she twirls her long hair. “Is it his medical issue?”

“He doesn’t have a medical issue.”

“He was in the hospital.”

“It was a false alarm. He’s perfectly fine.”

“No, he’s cranky like he’d get when Dallas pissed him off. Is he upset that his brother isn’t coming up for the wedding?”

“No, I called Dallas and asked him not to come. When he got offended, I insisted he knew what he did to upset me. Then, I hung up.”

“What did he do?”

“Nothing, but I want him to feel guilty. That way, he won’t try to make a scene by coming here.”

“Does Val not want Dallas around?”

“Val has never met Dallas, so he can’t possibly know how much he won’t like him.”

“Well, Val seems very agreeable.”

Smiling at the thought of Val goofing around with Moo this morning, I sigh. “He is.”

“Duke used to be agreeable,” Kerrie says and sways to the music playing in the diner. “He’s gotten grumpy. I think single life isn’t working for him.”

“He’s just focused on the wedding and the clubs aligning.”

“And his stripper girlfriend,” Kerrie says and twirls her hair again while shaking her head. “I’ve heard of this before.”

“What?” I ask, humoring her while I set two plates on the order ledge to go out.

“My friend Patsy divorced her husband after he went insane from a midlife crisis. He ended up marrying an eighteen-year-old high school senior and buying his child bride new boobs.”

“Well, Duke’s stripper friend is older than me.”

“Gold diggers aren’t all teenagers, Lola.”

“What do you care?”

Kerrie shrugs. “I don’t want him bringing home a trampy woman with troublemaking ideas about raising my girls.”

I snicker at the idea of anyone raising Clover and me at this point. Kerrie is full of shit, too. She knows Duke would never marry a dingbat just because he turned forty.

But she’s restless over being away from home without Merv. No one is around to entertain her, and she was never all that good at entertaining herself.

That’s why she loves her Minnesota life. She has friends and Merv’s family is always in and out of her house. She’s part of several social groups. In Minnesota, she never needs to work hard to keep her mind busy.

“How about after I finish working, we go out for lunch and a movie?” I suggest when I realize her coming early and without Merv is why she’s so antsy.

Kerrie offers me a smile and shuffles closer. “I feel left out.”

“I know.”

“No one told me about Val. Or how you were serious about him.”

“I did.”

“But I thought you were lying. You know, suffering in silence for Duke’s sake.”

“Well, I’m not sure I’m capable of suffering in silence. I’ve always been vocal when unhappy.”

“That’s not true. I had no idea you were nursing a crush on this man for months.”

“Well, you have me there.”

“Why did you hide your pain from me?”

Sighing, I wish we weren’t having this conversation while I’m at work.

“Saying the words would make them real,” I explain, feeling the old pain rising in my chest. “Meeting Val broke my heart. I believed we couldn’t work, but I still had big dreams. That’s why I didn’t dare voice anything out loud. I wanted to keep the dream alive for a little longer.”

“And does he live up to those dreams?”

Hugging her, I whisper, “He’s better. I thought he was just gorgeous and funny. I had no idea he was sporting such a big heart.”

My mom clings to me until the burgers on the grill begin to sizzle too loudly. I finish up my time in the diner and take my mom out for lunch. Clover finishes up with work and joins us for a movie. For a few hours, I return to my old life.

Yet, once Val’s family begins to arrive in West Virginia, my brain shifts from nostalgia to memorizing new names.

First up is his cousin Matilda who is Court and Justice’s oldest daughter. She’s a lovely brunette who seems immune to the drama lust of the rest of the homestead families. Traveling with Matilda are her two preteen daughters, Vanna and Leonie.

With them is Court and Justice’s youngest daughter. The blonde Henrietta goes by Rie. Before she married a Kentucky biker named Denver Majors, she had two blonde daughters—snarky Celeste and shy Camille. Rie’s recently delivered her first son with Denver.

“Crusoe was supposed to be a girl,” Celeste tells me while resting her hands on her hips and offering me a little sass. “Someone missed his thingy on the ultrasound. It was a huge mistake, but we’re keeping him anyway.”

Camille smiles at her baby brother and then unleashes an adorable grin at me. That little gesture infects me with baby fever.

“I want a little version of you,” Val tells Camille.

“But not me?” Celeste demands.

“I’m a weak man,” Val claims immediately. “A feisty daughter might be too much for me to handle.”

“You’ve got that right,” Celeste says and then checks to see if Denver heard how he’s strong enough to handle her.

Val’s ease with the kids leaves me clingy and horny after we get back to my place.

“I want you to put a baby in me right this second,” I tell him four times that night.

“I can only knock you up one at a time,” Val murmurs while yanking the blanket over us and scaring off Moo. “But I’ll try to stick a few extra babies in there anyway.”

The next day, Court and Justice’s dark-haired son Felix—who goes by his road name Poet—arrives in Tumbling Rock with his brunette wife and their three kids. Like Matilda, he has a home at the homestead but only lives there part-time.

Poet is married to the daughter of a Tennessee crime boss. Cricket has a weird name and a big personality. She calls me Lila a dozen times before finally acknowledging that’s not my name.

“I wanted to see if you’d flip out or cry,” Cricket explains while giving me a death stare. “I always assumed Val would marry an irrational fucking moron. But here you are instead.”

I take the compliment as she walks away to get her youngest child, Magnus, settled into their part-time home. Poet remains outside with his brown-haired boy-girl teenage twins, Minnow and Murphy.

“Your dad is Duke, huh?” Poet says, eyeing me. “I don’t see it.”

“I’m hot like my mom.”

“There it is,” Poet says and glances at his twins. “Say hello to your cousin’s future wife.”

The twins stare at me with dead-eyed gazes. I wait for them to react. Even after Poet walks inside the house, the twins stare coldly at me. Val tells them a story about how he taught Moo a trick. He’s lying, of course. Moo finds Val fascinating unless he looks at him. Then, the cat runs away and hides.

The twins aren’t amused by Val. They don’t react at all. Eventually, they walk slowly into their house and look back at us with those dead eyes.

As soon as they’re out of sight, I grip Val’s hand. “Take the baby out of me. It’ll grow up to be a teenager. I’m not strong enough for that shit.”

Val smiles at me. “That evil-eye shit is because of Cricket and Tennessee. Their younger boy is like Poet. We’ll have homestead children, not those White Horse weirdos.”

I look around the homestead and imagine our kids growing up in this place. Dogs run by. Otto and Betty ride away on a motorcycle. Tuesday and Bullet ride past them on their way back. Everyone here is in their element.

“Okay, I trust you haven’t created a monster in my womb.”

Val grins. “In two days, you’ll be Lola McGraw Mercer. A year from now, we’ll be preparing for our first-anniversary party. I bet you won’t mind those twins at all by then.”

I’m so enchanted by the future he describes and the homestead’s magic that I agree to stay overnight in his bedroom. His parents’ house isn’t particularly large, and I’m fairly sure everyone can hear everything. Fortunately, the Mercers are a horny family, and I don’t need to take a break from Val’s dick for the night.

The best part is waking up to share breakfast with his family. When we show up, Tuesday, Bullet, and Roxie are already eating with Val’s parents. West and Alexis arrive at the tail end of breakfast. Everyone talks over each other and shares separate conversations that eventually merge into one big bitchfest about who ate the last cinnamon roll yesterday.

Settling back in my chair, I embrace this new life as Val’s family collectively decides to blame the roll theft on Justice’s devious kids.