19. Chapter 19

My phone started ringing the next morning while Cain was sucking my cock in bed. I ignored the first and second calls but the third one I found myself reaching for the cell to see if it was an emergency. The caller ID told me this was Ray which almost had me putting the phone back down and finishing what Cain had started with me. But I knew Ray wouldn't stop with the unanswered calls. He'd eventually show up at the house to discuss whatever he felt was so urgent it couldn't wait until we arrived at the studio.

"This better be good," I said without saying hello.

"The studio session today is canceled because we have the charity event tonight," Ray explained. "By the time you guys got into a groove with the music you'd have to stop in order to get ready for the party."

"Charity event?" I asked.

"Don't tell me you forgot about that," Ray scorned. "I sent you all the details about it two weeks ago and even sent a reminder to you last week. This is mandatory, Gage, so don't even think of canceling, and damn it, if you had a fucking PA paying attention to your schedule these events wouldn't come as such surprise to you."

"Fine! We'll be there," I said and hung up my phone.

I sighed loudly and Cain came up for air from between my legs and sat beside me at the headboard. My cock was annoyed the warmth of his mouth was gone but after my brief conversation with Ray, I was hardly in the mood to get off.

"Everything okay?" Cain asked me.

"Yeah, Ray called to tell me work is canceled for the day because we have a charity event we're expected to attend tonight," I said.

"We?" Cain asked with a lift of one brow.

"Yes, we—unless you'd rather not go with me," I said.

"Is it a formal event?" Cain asked.

"Yeah, this one is but I have extra tuxes," I said. "Mine should fit you since we're about the same size."

"You think we're the same size?" he asked.

"You don't?"

"You're way more muscled than I am but I'm guessing about the same height," Cain said.

"I'm willing to bet my tux is going to fit you like a glove," I said and hauled him closer for a kiss.

I wasn't exactly excited about the party tonight but it was nice to suddenly have the day free from going to the studio. But that also meant that my talk with Kenny would have to wait a bit longer—at least until tomorrow.

Our record label roped us in to doing a few charity events like this one every year. None of my bandmates enjoyed going to them, least of all me. Some affairs were black tie, some required nothing more than a suit jacket and a dress shirt and tie, but they were all mandatory—per our contract. Our label loved strutting their big players around during such events and pose for photo ops to make themselves look good and raise a pile of money for worthy charitable causes.

Going to these events didn't bother me on a social level. I liked seeing people I didn't get to see very often. What gave me anxiety was having to sensor myself around the company executives and other high-powered individuals. I didn't like having to gloss over who I really was. If an F-bomb flew out of my mouth I resented having to apologize for it because that wasn't me. I happily lived in the gray area of life between right and wrong. The saying: it's better to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission fit me to a T. These days, the only begging I did was with Cain in the privacy of our bedroom but that was largely still our secret.

The events were always overflowing with lawyers, media moguls, journalists, and so on. It was a regular who's who of people in the entertainment industry. The best part was we were always guaranteed to see members of other bands we knew well. Although we were competitive with the other bands to get the highest grossing sales, we were all friends and respected the hell out of each other. In many ways, these events were like reunions and that was always a good time. When we were touring we didn't have a lot of time to socialize like this, so we slipped into our penguin suits and pressed the flesh a couple of times each year. Things could be a lot worse than that.

What made this particular event special was that Cain was coming with me as my guest. Okay, he was my date, but no one really knew that except for him and I, and the guys in my band. Oh, and Ray. But this would be the first time we were going to be seen in public together. I seriously doubted anyone would look at us and think we were a couple. Two men arriving at a function like this didn't equate to us sharing a bed. But still, it was another step we were taking in being open about our relationship.

My band members knew what the deal was with me and Cain and for the most part they were okay with this revelation—except, of course, Kenny. I honestly think they were more annoyed Cain was my collaborator than the fact we were fucking. I didn't much care what they thought on either count. I wanted to be with Cain. Plain and simple. And if anyone had a problem with that then they could go fuck themselves.

We'd spent pretty much every night together since we met at the New York estate. On some levels it was like he was already living with me, although he only had a few essentials at my LA place at the moment, like a toothbrush and his razor. Everything else was still at his condo. I was hoping now that we were back in Los Angeles for a while he'd move all of his stuff in with me but I'd have to see how he felt about that.

But people outside of the band were seeing us together, like the techs, management personnel, and workers at the studio warehouse. They saw us arrive and leave together and maybe exchange a few touches here and there. I figured it was probably safe they might have an idea we were more than work colleagues. It's hard to say what they assumed was going on between us but no one said anything to either of us. Soon enough I'd have to publicly acknowledge what Cain was to me but at the moment we were still sorting that out ourselves.

I still hadn't had the traditional freak-out moment after realizing I was bisexual. I'm not sure why, except to me being with Cain felt so right I never spent too much time thinking about the fact he was a man. His gender really was irrelevant to me. What I did focus on was how damn good I felt about myself when I was with him and how he made me feel every time our eyes met. No one else had ever stirred the emotions inside of me the way Cain did and that had to mean something. All he had to do was stand in the same room as me and I could feel our connection pulsing between us from across the room.

Soon enough I'd have to say something publicly. Cain deserved at least that much from me and keeping him hiding with me in the closet wasn't something I wanted to do to him. He'd been out far too long to be expected to step back into the shadows. But keeping our relationship private wasn't meant as a way to hide Cain. It had everything to do with me thinking it would somehow protect our bond from public scrutiny and it would remain special.

As soon as everyone knew we were together it might possibly change our dynamic and no way did I want that to happen. I was hopelessly in love with Cain and there was no way I wanted to taint what we had by going public too soon. The grainy photograph taken of us in New York was one thing but if we were seen together at several of these events, we would be outed as a couple. I wasn't going to hide forever either but I knew when the time was right, I'd know.

I couldn't wait to publicly claim Cain as mine but I also had to remember that when I did, I'd be putting us under the spotlight as well as a microscope. Every move we made from then on would be fodder for the entertainment rags. People we didn't even know would suddenly start talking about our relationship as if they knew the real story. Only two people knew our story and that was Cain and me.

"Shit, these pants are a little loose on me," Cain said as we changed into our formal wear in my bedroom. "Does it look tailored enough to pass for tonight?"

"Turn around," I suggested, and Cain spun to show me his backside. "Your ass still looks incredible filling out my pants, so those will work nicely."

Cain made a show of shaking his hips for me to showcase his perfect butt and I laughed at his movements.

"Do you have the matching bow tie for this tux?" I asked him. Cain shook his head while he slipped into the neatly pressed shirt. I stepped into my walk-in closet to grab the bow tie from a drawer. "Do you need help tying it?" I asked.

"I won't ever turn down an opportunity to have you standing close to me," Cain said with a smirk. "Plus, your scent from the shower is intoxicating. Makes me want to lick you all over."

The mere mention of the shower we'd shared not fifteen minutes ago and the blowjobs we exchanged while under the hot water had me shivering at the memory. My knees were still a bit weak from his mad oral skills. I stepped in front of him and ran my fingers along his throat to his collar before looping the satiny fabric around his neck to make the bow. My fingers pressed to the pulse point below his ear at the end of his jaw then my lips replaced my fingers to lay a teasing kiss to the flesh. Cain made a humming sound of appreciation and I smiled against his skin.

"Keep teasing me and I'm going to want more," Cain said with a groan.

"No time," I said in a breathy tone. "You'll have to wait until after we get home."

I began to flip the fabric around to make the proper knot while Cain stared intently at my face. I loved his eyes on me. It made my heart beat faster and my blood boil.

"Where'd you learn how to tie a bow tie?" Cain asked.

"I became proficient in this task a long time ago from having to do far too many of these formal events," I answered him. But this particular party was special, as was the man standing just a few inches away from me. I lifted my gaze while my fingers worked and watched heat begin to swirl in his eyes. Then my gaze dropped down to his mouth.

"As soon as we're back here, you're all mine," I promised.

"Mmmm, I'm already getting hard again," Cain said and then teased my lips with his tongue.

I cupped his hardness with my palm and squeezed which made him hiss. "Oh, the crazy things you do to my libido, Mr. Bennington. I hope you're happy with yourself."

His fingers wrapped around my nape and then massaged up into the hair hanging over the starched collar. "I've never been happier," he said against my lips.

"Me neither," I agreed and took his mouth in a blistering kiss while I backed him up into the closet shelving. We hit the wall with a thud but our mouths remained fused and our arms wrapped tightly around the other. I rubbed our groins together wishing I could somehow make our clothing disappear. "Christ, I always fucking want you. When I'm not inside you I'm thinking about the next time I can be."

Cain deepened our kiss then grabbed my ass cheek to pull me more firmly against him. "If I could, I'd spend all damn day and night, buried inside you," he said and licked at the moisture on my lips. "I can never seem to get enough."

"Fuck, I want to take you back to bed but we seriously have to leave now if we're going to make this shindig anywhere near on time," I explained.

"The sooner we make an appearance, the quicker we can come back home for the good stuff," Cain said. He gripped my ass hard before he slapped it and stepped away.

Did he think of my house as home? Then I realized how much I wanted him to feel that way. The place had never felt much like home until Cain walked through the front door. With Cain living there I knew it would become a place I couldn't wait to get back to because I knew he'd either be there waiting for me or already with me. And damn, it would be something special walking inside this place with Cain at my side. I simply loved sharing my life with him, whether we were in bed, down in the studio, or sitting on the couch watching a movie. As long as he was near me, I was content.

After we finished getting ready we walked through the house holding hands as we made our way outside to the six-car garage. I kept the vehicles I used most often at the house garage but I had a few more high-end cars stored at a warehouse on the outskirts of the city. One of a few weaknesses since making it big was to buy fast cars and I owned way too many of them. Another weakness was vintage guitars, and my collection grew every year. But my newest weakness was the man standing beside me.

"Which one should we take out tonight?" I asked Cain as I flipped on the overhead lights to illuminate six of the sexiest vehicles ever created.

He smiled and pointed to the shiny, black beauty sitting front and center in the garage and I nodded in agreement. She'll be the perfect ride for this event, I thought as we walked past a 1971 deep blue Jaguar E-Type and a reasonably new silver Porsche 911 992 Turbo S model with a top speed that exceeded two hundred MPH. Like I said, I had a kink for fast cars.

We slid into the front seat of my black Maserati MC20 Cielo and after the butterfly doors lowered into place I fired up the engine. She roared to life, the rumble of power vibrated under my ass and rattled up through my core. Driving this baby was the full experience and I loved the way she turned heads. The sound of her engine alone was enough to draw attention but the real appeal for me was her speed. The drive tonight was short, not nearly long enough to achieve any real speed but it still brought a smile to my face, same as Cain.

The event tonight was being held at an estate just a couple of miles from mine. I pulled into the driveway and parked under the portico in front of a monstrous-sized Los Angeles estate owned by the president of our record label. The house was Old Hollywood all the way and once owned by a famous movie star from the 1940s. His name eluded me at the moment, but rumor has it he shared his bed with both men and women, the gender he desired on any given night was based upon his mood.

I guess the same could be said for me, although now my focus was solely on one man and no women. I really had no desire or reason to want a woman—or anyone else for that matter, since Cain kept me more than entertained and not just in the bedroom. He was just fun to be around. Even working with him was a good time.

I reached for his hand over the console and squeezed it with mine. "Before we go in there, I want you to know how hot you look tonight," I told him, "and I want you to know I'll be staring at your ass and mouth all night."

"If the valets weren't watching us right now, I'd lean over and suck your cock again before we left this car," Cain replied.

"Damn, baby," I sighed. "You always know just what to say to make me harder than fuck."

"The feeling is mutual and I love it when you call me baby," Cain said and smiled.

"Then I'll be sure to say it more often," I said.

We stepped out of the car at the same time and I handed the valet attendant the keys before meeting Cain at the front stairs. My hand brushed against his knuckles, instinctively needing to touch him to center myself and his gaze locked on mine. I wanted to lace our fingers together and I could tell he knew it, too, but he shook his head at me with a gentle warning.

"Probably not a good idea to walk into this event holding hands," Cain advised.

I detected a hint of sadness to his words, which I agreed with. I wished like hell it could be different. I wanted everyone to know Cain was mine but I needed to talk with Ray and our entire management team before I made any such proclamations about being with Cain. The day I announced our status was coming quickly, though, because I was tired of having to hide my feelings for him. Not to mention, it was becoming more difficult to hide what I was feeling while in public.

We stepped into the enormous house and said hello to a variety of executive types, beautiful women, and a busy waitstaff. No one that I particularly knew so we continued deeper into the home toward the grand ballroom of the estate. Who the hell needed a ballroom in their fucking house? I knew I'd never use such a room. It was all wasted space and not much more, but tonight this gilded room served a purpose. It was decked out to the nines with floral arrangements everywhere you looked and a small string quartet playing softly up on a low stage at one end of the room. There was also multiple bars, a full catering team serving appetizers on silver trays as well as cocktails. I was told a dinner service would come out later but for now we ate with our fingers.

I grabbed two toasted bread crostinis with some kind of spread on top and handed one to Cain. "I think it's salmon?" I said as a question while I chewed.

"Possibly," he replied and took a second bite. "It's delicious, whatever it is."

I saw my band guys huddled together near one of the bars and tugged Cain's fingers for him to follow me. It was a bold move to touch him like that but at this point it was a natural thing for me to do, like a reflex.

Kenny grabbed me first for a hug that lingered too long, which was typical of him, and then he shook Cain's hand. Ward and Ross repeated the same sentiments a moment later. Standing together like this all dressed up in our tuxes we looked pretty fucking good. I guess you could say we cleaned up well. Ward even shaved off some of the bush of his beard which was hard to believe but I knew our record label would be happy with that detail and our general overall appearance.

"You two look like you just got married," Kenny snarked.

"It's a little early for that, isn't it?" I said back.

"What's it been, something like three months?" he asked.

"More like two—give or take, like I said at the studio," I replied. "What's your point?"

"Even two months is an eternity for you," Kenny answered. "You might as well be married."

"Hmmm, you might have a point," I said. I glanced at Cain and winked at him.

"I'll go grab us a couple of drinks," Cain said. "Anyone else need anything?"

Their drinks were all reasonably full so Cain left to get us something. I watched him walk away and wanted to sigh out loud. From any angle he was breathtaking to look at which is something I never imagined I'd feel about a man, but I sure as hell did about Cain.

"I've never seen you like this with anyone before him," Kenny commented.

I heard a clipped tightness to his words, giving them sharper edges than the occasion called for and looked at Kenny to get a read on him. He seemed tense and maybe even a little annoyed. All of us were irritated to be at this event but Kenny seemed to be directing his foul mood at me and no one else.

"He's a great guy," I said and shrugged in hopes Kenny would let this go because now really wasn't the time to discuss the rift growing between us.

"It probably wasn't a smart move on your part to bring him here tonight," Kenny continued.

"And why's that, Kenny?" I asked curtly and the muscle in my jaw began to tick.

"Aren't you worried about being outted?" Kenny questioned.

"What the fuck is with your fifty questions about Cain?" Ward cut in. "Now is not the time."

"Jesus, Kenny," Ross said. "I was wondering the same thing."

Now we were all pissed off and I wasn't one hundred percent sure I'd be able to leave tonight without us having words with him. I couldn't let him get away with his petty misgivings about my boyfriend. Cain was going to be part of my life for a long fucking time if I had any say in it, and I couldn't have Kenny disrespecting our relationship or Cain like this. I'd known Kenny to be a bit possessive of me at times but it's never been this blatant or rude. If he had a problem with me being with Cain then it was his to deal with by himself.

"I'm gonna take a walk before I say something I'll regret," I said directly to Kenny before I turned around to leave.