Chapter 42

42

DAPHNE

I t had been a full day since Eric had found out about Sterling and me, and neither of them had spoken to me again since. Feeling like my heart had gone through a shredder, I slung coffee and pastries all day, as busy as ever now that the festival was in full swing.

I definitely wasn't feeling it today, though. I went through the motions, but my mind was on my brother and his best friend, split fairly evenly between my worry about both. My mother had assured me that they would work it out, but I hated the situation we were in and the role I had played in landing us here.

Logically, I knew I had to give it time. Sterling had been busy on the farm since before the festival had even started, and judging by the amount of cars coming and going from the bakery, they were busier than ever up there.

Similarly, Eric had a lot on his plate. The garage was also usually pretty busy this time of year, with all sorts of minor repairs having to be made to tourists' cars on top of his regular workload. While I knew they were probably both throwing themselves into work so they wouldn't have to deal with their feelings, I just wished I could talk to them.

I'd texted my brother, but I hadn't called or messaged Sterling. I knew I could, but to my mind, the distance he was keeping was because of Eric scaring him away. When I'd come out to my mother with the whole sordid tale, she hadn't been surprised at all that Sterling and I had developed feelings for one another—her crafty way of not referencing the fact that we'd been caught in bed together.

She'd told me that once the shock wore off, Eric would be more understanding as well, but I just wasn't sure. It didn't feel like that to me right then.

To me, it felt like the world was ending. Like I'd lost Eric and Sterling in one fell swoop and like that meant I would lose Jake and possibly even Rachel as well. Her husband would stand by my brother, and while I knew she'd try to fight for me, she was the mother of a newborn baby.

She had way more important things to worry about and I wouldn't want her getting in a fight with Jake on my behalf anyway. They were a parental unit now. I wouldn't dream of getting between them.

So lost in thought that customers were coming, being served, and leaving again without me even seeing their faces, I didn't realize the same guy that had badgered me the other morning was back until he snapped his fingers in front of my face. I started, blinking rapidly as I tried to figure out what was going on.

"Hello, gorgeous," he said smoothly, not skipping a beat as he delivered the cringy line. "How are you doing today? It looks like something's bothering you. Want to tell Henry what it is?"

"Who's Henry?" I asked dumbly, finally managing to focus on the face only a few feet away from mine, which was when I recognized him.

The guy had come in a few days ago to buy a couple coffees before we'd even opened. June and I had been inside, preparing the bakery for the day, and he'd knocked incessantly at the door. Eventually, I'd gone over to tell him we weren't open yet, but he refused to take no for an answer.

In the end, I'd realized I was wasting more time trying to get rid of him than it would take me to make the darn coffees. Seeing him again, my stomach rolled. I really wasn't in the mood to deal with a guy like him.

He was too cocky. With reddish blond hair and chiseled features, he was good looking but not sweltering hot, yet he acted like he was God's gift to women. There seemed to be a permanent smirk etched onto his thin lips and the way he ran his eyes all over me like he was trying to develop x-ray vision made my skin crawl.

Simultaneously, there was a certain charm about him. Like he could be a real nice, real genuine guy if you could look past those lascivious stares and the cliched come-ons. I just really wasn't in the right headspace to appreciate any of it.

He smiled at me when I asked the question, lowering his chin a little and peering at me from between thick, strawberry blond lashes. " I'm Henry, obviously. Didn't I tell you that the other day? I'm sure I told you. What I still don't know, however, is your name."

"Right," I said, forcing a smile as I canted my head at the coffee machine. "What can I get you?"

"An Americano and your phone number," he said, once again without even flinching. "Your name too if you don't mind. I've been calling you the Hot Barista in my head, but a name would be better if we're going to go out."

"One Americano coming right up," I said, ignoring everything else he'd said.

June walked out of the kitchen to replenish the pastry baskets, and she paused to glance between the two of us. I gave her a discreet roll of my eyes, but Henry clearly hadn't noticed her standing right there because he went on as if I hadn't even spoken at all.

"I'm in town for a few more days and I'd really like to take you to dinner," he said. "We can check out the festival together, and if you're lucky, I'll let you lick pumpkin-spice sprinkles off me."

Even June blushed at that one, but he was laying on the charm much too hard for my liking. Plus, I just really wasn't in the mood.

"Thanks," I said, trying to be as gracious as I could about turning him down. "I really hope you enjoy the festival and your visit to Allisburg, but I'm not dating right now."

"Of course, you're not," he said easily. "Because you haven't agreed to go out with me yet. Come on, beautiful girl. We'll have fun. Guaranteed."

"I'm sure we would, but I'm really busy at the moment. If you're feeling lonely traveling by yourself, you should check out the craft gin garden at the festival. It's a really popular hangout this time of year and there are always loads of people around."

Henry didn't seem like the type who got told no very often, and he didn't seem to recognize that I really didn't want to go out with him. Instead, he sent me what I guessed was supposed to have been a coy smile.

"I'm not lonely, baby. I just want to go out with you. We could visit the craft gin garden together, though I'm more of a vodka guy myself."

Of course, he is. Probably the expensive kind made on glaciers in New Zealand or some other pretentious bullshit.

The man was dressed like one of those big-money city-dwellers who spent more time on their skincare routine than I did and wouldn't be caught dead in any garment that didn't come with a designer label. Actually, he kind of reminded me of Sterling when he'd first come back to town with that polished look that oozed sophistication, money, and refinement.

I sighed, my heart throbbing as soon as Sterling's name popped up in my head. My eyes closed as pain seared through me and June finally had to step in, giving Henry his Americano and shooing him away like an errant child.

"There you go, young man," she said sternly as she handed over the coffee. "The lady said no. That's enough now. Thank you for choosing Northfield Farms and we hope you enjoy your order. Somewhere else."

I opened my eyes to see him roll his own, but he backed away from the counter and left. A small dose of guilt shot through me. Glancing at June, I grimaced. "Thanks for that. I feel so bad, but I just really didn't want to go out with him and he didn't seem to be getting it."

She smiled, reaching out to squeeze my shoulder. "You don't need to thank me, honey. You also shouldn't feel bad. A real man knows how to accept a refusal gracefully. Clearly, he needs to learn a thing or two."

"Yeah, I guess," I said, my gaze darting to the door as it shut behind him. "How're you doing back there?"

I jerked my head at the kitchen and June grinned. "We're all out for the day. Once these pastries are gone, we'll have sold out again. I saved a few for Rachel, though. I thought you might want to take her some again. How is she?"

More guilt shot through me. "She's fine, but I haven't spent much time with her since the baby was born. I've been trying to stay out of their way."

June chuckled. "That's very thoughtful of you, honey, but trust me. She doesn't want you to stay out of her way at this point. She'll be dying for some real conversation and a connection to the outside world."

Is that true? She had asked me to stay the other night, but part of me had thought she'd only done it because she'd seen something was bothering me and she felt bad that I'd be going home alone.

On the other hand, June had four kids. I trusted her judgment on this way more than I did my own, so I nodded. "Then I suppose I should just say thank you for setting aside some pastries. I'll take them over there later."

She smiled. "Attagirl. Good luck for the last stretch."

"Thanks," I said. "You too."

I turned my attention to another customer that had just come in and June went back to the kitchen for the last hour or so of our shift. Then we locked up together and I went over to Rachel and Jake's, armed with pastries June had packed for them.

Since she was laid up with the baby, I knew she would be home, but I sent her a text anyway, letting her know I was on my way over. It was the polite thing to do. While I was trying to navigate these new waters of my best friend's motherhood, I missed the heck out of her.

If June was right, she missed me too and maybe she and I could actually spend some time together today. I still didn't want to overstay my welcome or burden her with what had been going on with me, but it was tough, not really knowing what to do or how much to say to the girl who had always been my confidante.

Jake let me in. As I walked into her bedroom, she was ready for me. Dressed and sitting in her bed with the baby sleeping soundly beside her, she cocked her head and gave me a raised eyebrow that I knew meant business. Jake went into another room to let us talk.

"Are you ready to tell me what's wrong yet?" she asked without even a greeting. "You've been crying and you took off like a bat out of hell when you left here the other night. I've been trying to wait for you to come to me about it, but I'm not a patient woman."

I bit my upper lip, so surprised that I'd stopped walking as soon as I'd crossed into their bedroom, but then I sighed. "How do you know I've been crying?"

"Please," she said, a slight smile touching the corners of her lips as she patted their bed. "How long have I known you? I always know when you've been crying. Your eyelids kind of just look different. They're more swollen and they stay that way for longer than you obviously realize. No amount of makeup could hide that from me."

With another loud sigh, I finally remembered how my feet worked and strode over to the bed, sitting down on the edge of their mattress and shaking my head at her. "I'm fine, Rach. You just had a baby. You shouldn't be worrying about me."

She held my gaze steadily. "Exactly. I had a baby, but that's all. I'm still me. I'm still here and it's driving me crazy that everyone is suddenly treating me like I'm made out of glass."

As I looked into those eyes that had always held only love, respect, and support for me and saw the frustration in them, I swallowed hard. "That sounds terrible. It must be really annoying. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," she said firmly. "Just tell me what the hell has been going on with you."

Exhaling through my nostrils, I remembered the promise I'd made about not getting between her and Jake, but at this point, he would probably find out sooner or later from one of his own friends. Either Sterling or Eric would tell him the truth and then Rachel would feel like I didn't trust her anymore either.

God, when did my life become so complicated?

At least this, however, I could still control. I could still be honest with my best friend before she found out from somebody else, and besides, I'd been dying to tell her since the very beginning. Now that it wasn't just Sterling and me who knew anymore, I also didn't feel like telling her would put her in that same impossible position where she'd have to keep something from her husband.

"I might be in love with Sterling," I said suddenly, just blurting it out before I lost my nerve. "We kissed the day of the fire, and things have kind of been progressing from there, but what's the point? He's going back to New York soon, and once he does, it will all be over."

Her eyelids dropped on a slow blink. Then her lips parted and she stared at me blankly for a long moment. "Are you serious?"

"Yes," I said unhappily. "I think I might be in love with him and I even think he feels the same way, but Eric walked in on us yesterday and now he hates me. Sterling is leaving and you have a baby and?—"

"Whoa," she said quickly, holding up her hands as an understanding, soft smile spread on her lips. "I need to process the first thing first before we go spiraling into everything else, okay? You're in love? With Sterling ?"

Footsteps sounded from the hall outside their bedroom, drawing closer until Jake appeared a few seconds later. My cheeks flooded with heat even if I didn't know if he'd overheard us, but as he walked in and saw us talking, he smiled.

"I'm going to take Lizzy to walk around the festival for a while," he said as he strode over to the bed and gently scooped her up into his arms. "You guys can catch up and have some alone time together. We'll be back later."

When he came around to her side of the bed, Rachel kissed him goodbye, murmuring a thank you against his lips before pressing a soft kiss to the top of Lizzy's head as well. Jake left and she turned back to me, her eyes wide and her upper body suddenly angling forward.

"Okay," she said decisively. "They're gone. Speak. Start at the very beginning and don't you dare hold back any details, Daph. I want to know everything and I'm not letting you leave here again until I do."