37. Chapter Thirty-Seven

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Iris

The days pass in a blur. Lately, I feel as though I've lost all desire to live or even exist in this world. Remus broke me in a more intimate way than he originally anticipated. I may have fought him in his last moments, but his words of my world and his proof of my people sit at the forefront of my mind more and more these days. I feel no desire to be a part of this society, and they feel no desire to have me in it.

My gaze shifts to a group of humans who walk by me, redirecting their children. Word of my arrival and who I was in the Leviathan society has managed to spread through this place. Most of the humans here think that I shouldn't be here. The others dislike me for my role in Remus's bed and a very small percentage pities me. Jude was right; we will never be accepted here .

It makes me wonder about the new world that will be created if the resistance ever decides to take back our planet. Would the humans in captivity be able to live among the humans that have been free? Or would they treat them differently?

I tense as my headache grows, holding my fingers to my temple. Each day that passes, I find myself growing weaker within the confines of these mountains. The headache that began as a dull throb has expanded into constant pounding most hours of the day, and my body seems to be growing heavier to maneuver. I don't know if my body is reacting from exhaustion or if I am just that stressed, but I don't feel like I will make it through the coming weeks like this. My will to live and fight is slowly dying, along with the memory of humanity.

I suck in a deep breath leaning against the bench as I look toward the roof of the massive cavern. The idea of Remus's death has finally begun to settle in, even if Ezra's words prevent me from feeling completely at ease. I lived at Remus's side for months, and he would never leave his people so vulnerable for so long. Cypress has been leading charges into different outlying Leviathan cities, taking them out with barely any pushback. The Leviathan society seems to be in disarray, according to my brother. Though I can't see for myself because I've been forbidden to join any battles.

The only reason they broke into the Leviathan society was to capture me and use me as leverage against Remus. Taking out his sister to remove any obstacles was the other part of that plan. But my actions alone cost Iriel a lot, and now he has no idea what to do. Sky even warned me to be cautious of him on our way back that night, meaning she's experienced a side of him she doesn't trust. I don't know why Iriel would turn on Remus when he clearly fears him so intensely, but it must be worth more than being a general handpicked by Remus. Since my arrival and relay of more information, Iriel has begun to drag his feet on plans for taking action.

Meanwhile, new weapons have been created from Ezra's blood on Cypress's order. Only a few months ago, I thought my brother was dead along with my family, and yet he's been here as a leader of the resistance all along, never once letting the thought of our lives hinder his decisions. The Leviathan invasion has changed him in ways I was not prepared for. On top of that, it seems he's Iriel's right hand, which I hate more than anything.

Jude's words hold a heavier weight each day. Our sacrifices were in vain. All the information we gathered was for nothing. The only thing that came out of it was my rescue and the destruction of the main port for a plan with no weight now that Remus is gone. Iriel doesn't seem like he's in a hurry to liberate humanity, only in a hurry to dig himself out of the hole I created. The leverage of using me against Remus was much higher than using Ezra against his mother. This is one of the reasons Iriel is not fond of my being here. I am a physical reminder of how close he was.

"Iris!" I look up at the sound of my name to see Sky approaching. She's dressed in a formfitting shirt and cargo pants with a weapon strapped to her back. I slowly rise from my seat, greeting her.

"What are you doing here?" she asks. I gesture to the doors of the building in the distance .

"Jude has therapy," I say. Her smile drops slightly as she realizes just what my words mean. Jude didn't make it out of Zaya or Remus's care unscathed. His mental state is fragile, even if he tries to mask it with humor. I know how I felt after being under an inhibitor for only a month. I can't imagine how Jude felt being released after enduring so much trauma.

"You didn't want to take advantage of a therapist?" she asks. I release a bitter laugh, looking at the building.

"I don't think they can help me with anything. Besides, the rebels are counting on my trauma to give them more insight," I say. She gives me a pity-filled smile, but I speak before she can respond.

"What are you doing all the way out here? Are you no longer working in the facility?" I ask. Her smile drops, and I can tell something bad has happened.

"I've been removed from the research facility. They need more potent weapons, and to do that, they need more intense research methods. Iriel believes I am no longer valuable to the situation as I was hesitant on implementing the methods," she says.

My eyes widen.

"I'm so sorry," I say softly. Sky shakes her head.

"Don't be. It's like you said. I shouldn't have gotten attached. He's only a means to an end. Nothing more," she says. I eye her in confusion. My encounter with Remus was torture, to say the least. The Leviathan have ruined our lives more than we ever could have anticipated, and yet she seems to feel deeply for one who played a large role in the takeover of our planet .

"He isn't human, Sky. He's responsible for all of this," I say, gesturing to the world around me. "You shouldn't feel bad that we're leveling the playing field, and you definitely shouldn't feel bad that he's collateral," I say.

She chuckles at my words, her expression filled with amusement as she studies me.

"What?" I ask. She shakes her head before responding.

"It must be nice being you, being so naive to the world and its true nature," she says. My eyes widen slightly, but I immediately hide my shock.

"Wha—"

"The world I grew up in was hell long before the Leviathan showed up. The world that you are now fighting for never cared about me or my family. We were treated just as badly as everyone is now. And after the Leviathan came, that same world took my father from me, leaving me alone. This...resistance? It was corrupt long before Iriel arrived. Why do you think it was so easy for him to weasel his way in?" she says.

Sky studies me a moment longer. "I admire your tenacity, I really do...but I'm tired of being the collateral of this world. You can't fight nature. And human nature is...vicious. So, I'm going to watch both sides burn from the sidelines and meet my family in the afterlife."

I suddenly see Sky in a new light. All the smiling and kindness were her way of protecting herself. She's terrified and alone in this world, a world that has proven to be just as corrupt as the world she grew up in. She's been collateral her entire life. I don't know what happened between her and Ezra, but whatever it is, he must have shown her something different from what she's experienced her entire life. Something to make her believe in who he is, not what he's done.

I offer her a soft smile just as I see Jude approaching in the distance.

"Maybe I'll see you there."

Another day has once again passed with no progress on our end. I silently make my way through the emptying streets to where Cypress resides. I find myself dreading going home. Cypress is rarely there, and when he is, he doesn't speak to me. I'm constantly stuck with my brain going in circles about my current situation. Just existing like this is torture in itself.

For once, the lights are on in Cypress's home, meaning he's returned. A small sense of joy washes over me. He's lived to fight another day, and the Levithan have grown weaker. I push open the door, feeling my heart sink at the sight that greets me. Cypress sits at the small table with a pack of ice over the bloodied right side of his face as a human I recognize as another leader stitches up his arm. I cross the room in an instant as panic sets in.

"What happened to you?" I ask. His arm is gouged out like he was attacked by a wild animal. The rest of his skin is covered in scratches and blood as well. Cypress keeps his gaze down before finally meeting my gaze.

"We were ambushed by her. Xion is alive."