38. Chapter Thirty-Eight

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Iris

I haven't felt fear this intensely since I first encountered Remus. I vividly recall the encounter. Remus stood before me, a mystery to my mind in all his intimidating glory. I was so terrified at the time that I felt there was no other option than to take my own life along with his. But that was before I knew what he was exactly, and that stopping an explosion for him was child's play. My legs tremble slightly, and I find myself unable to take in enough oxygen to push off the headache assaulting me. It takes all my willpower to force myself to inhale and allow my lungs relief.

Xion is alive. Judging from my brother's condition, she is out for blood. I make my way to where Cypress is seated, taking in his wounds. The armor he has on has been shredded to ribbons, doing very little to protect him. And it takes all my resolve to remain calm even though I feel like I'm about to pass out. The stitching is beginning to look pointless as I notice more of the blood covering the extensive damage to his arm.

"Cypress, you need a medic," I say softly. Cypress keeps his head down, but I notice the small tremble in his fingers. I recognize it because my body was the same way when I saw what Remus was truly capable of. Cypress's illusion of how easily these creatures can be taken down has been shattered. He must have encountered her personally. I gently place my hand on his back to still his tremors.

"What happened?" I ask.

"She wiped us out with barely any effort. The brute strength was unlike anything I had ever seen. She was nothing like Remus. She was an animal," he says. I release a frustrated breath, looking away.

"That's because Remus was always holding back with all of you," I say absentmindedly. Remus is the oldest and the most in control. He was calm and patient in dealing with humanity on our own level. But now Xion is involved, and it doesn't seem like she is holding back. She has no reason to.

Cypress sways lightly under me, and I try to catch him. The ice pack falls from his face as his consciousness wanes, and my heart immediately leaps in my chest as I take in the bloodied gash on his face. I look at the other resistance leader in a panic as I try to shake him back to consciousness.

"He needs a medic now!"

The trip to the facility takes longer than I would like, especially since Cypress is dead weight at this point. He's lost consciousness, revealing the hideous bruising on his face. There's a massive gash running above and beneath his eye, and he's losing too much blood.

"We need help!" I scream as we burst into the medical wing. My words are swallowed, however, by the large number of injured resistance members strewn out along the walls. I have to fight back the vomit threatening my lips as I take them in. Their wounds are deep, some missing limbs while others are bleeding out profusely. And Cypress is one of them.

The medical team notices that I have Cypress on my arm, and one immediately comes to our aid, her eyes roaming over him in horror.

"Why is he just now coming to us?" she hisses as she takes in his wounds. I shake my head, handing him off on the gurney as they begin to check his vitals.

"He went home...I guess he thought his wounds weren't as serious," I say softly as they start screaming commands at one another. Tears fill my eyes as I watch Cypress bleed out on top of the gurney.

"Please save him," I murmur. My heart aches at the thought of losing my brother. Even though he's treated me indifferently, a part of me still sees him as my brother. I can't lose him, not like this. I watch helplessly as they wheel him away, already cutting away at his clothes, tensing when I feel a hand on my shoulder. It's the other resistance leader. His name is Mark, I recall.

"There's nothing we can do now. Let's get out of the way and leave them to do their job," he says. I look around the crowded hall once again, forcing myself to regain my composure. After convincing myself that he's right, I make my way out of the medical wing, cradling my arms to my chest.

Xion is alive. Someone miscalculated their plan to end her, and she has returned with bloody intent. A chill ripples up my spine as I imagine what she'll do if she finds this place. And she cannot be far. If there's one thing I've come to understand in Remus's care, it's that they are always somehow steps ahead of us. And they love breaking us down as much as possible when revealing that fact.

I'm so deep in my thoughts that my eyes remain lowered, and I don't see the figure right in front of me. I walk face-first into someone, looking up in shock as I utter my apologies. "I'm so sorry—"

I trail off when I realize it's Iriel looking back down at me. His expression is twisted in irritation as he looks down at me. His eyes narrow slightly, studying me before shifting behind me to the medical wing where humans now reside, gravely injured. He looks back at me, chuckling softly as he shakes his head.

"Five years, I've managed to lead this place with no hindrances from the outside. You come here for a few weeks, and she ambushes us in the same region," he says. I can feel his anger as he looks down on me.

"What did you tell them? How did she know our location?" he asks.

Part of my brain goes immediately on high alert from his tone. It screams danger. I look around me to see that I am all alone with him, and it doesn't sit well with me.

"I didn't tell her anything," I say firmly .

"Do you take me for a fool? I know you visited Ezra while we were away. And days later, we're attacked." Iriel steps closer to me, his eyes roaming over me in anger.

"My patience for you has thinned significantly, Iris. Do not lie to me. I cannot promise your brother will make it out of this safely if you continue this farce," he growls. I know I should feel fear from the weight of his words, but I don't. Compared to the presence of Remus, dealing with Iriel is child's play. I narrow my gaze, stepping closer to him.

"You're scared, aren't you?" I ask, searching his gaze. A strange feeling washes over me. The sensation clouds my sane mind as I study him, fueling words I never would have said otherwise. I shake my head when I finally see it—the terror in his gaze. Amusement strikes me at the sight.

"You lied to these people to gain their trust. You promised them you would fight for them, but you only used them to see just how far you could get in taking down Remus. You had no idea he would find out about your betrayal, and when he did, you were forced to hide along with the humans. Then I came along, and just when you thought you had found your out, I destroyed your last bit of hope of ever returning," I say. His eyes fill with rage as he studies me, but for some reason, I can't stop the words pouring from my lips.

"You won't kill me. You won't touch my brother. If you do, and Remus somehow survived, you'll be signing your own death certificate," I say. Out of instinct, a laugh leaves my lips, earning me every bit of Iriel's rage. He's too fast for me to register his hand coming at my throat as he grips me, lifting me off the ground with force. I cry out, my hands immediately clawing at his own as he seethes beneath me.

"You are very lucky Remus favored you, or I would crush your throat, human. I may not be able to kill you, but that does not change the fact that you are nothing more than a glorified whore he fell to because of what lies between your legs. If you think you will live through this either after betraying him, you are sorely mistaken. Xion will end your life long before I have the chance to, and I will revel in that, you fucking traitor," he growls, throwing me to the ground. I cry out in pain, looking up in time to see him storming away from me.

The moment he leaves, the strange weight that fell over me disappears, leaving me hollow and empty. I suck in a trembling breath as my cheeks turn cold from the trail of tears that fall. I hastily wipe them away, standing to continue watching Iriel's retreating form. We're fucked. We're all fucked. It's only a matter of days, if not hours, before Xion finds us. There's no telling what Iriel will do if he doesn't just flee tonight. He already proved how low he'll slink in a moment of desperation when he almost killed Cypress, Jude, and me just to attempt an assassination on Remus. Or before that, when he sacrificed countless rebels, knowing Remus wouldn't show them mercy so that he could escape when he was found out.

I slowly rise from my place in the dirt, wiping the grime off of me before I walk away from the facility. I don't know where I'm going, but I continue to walk as I lose myself in my thoughts. My head continues to pound, my body aching uncontrollably. The feeling is suffocating, making me endure a never-ending physical and mental battle against myself. This is how it ends for us. Everything that I did and endured was for nothing. The fact that I murdered Remus and damned humanity to a fate worse than death is more than I can bear.

I'm not sure what I want anymore. As I look around at the shabby resistance, I see now that my initial intake was through rose-colored glasses. I was happy to be free and a part of something that I felt at the time was bringing humanity hope. But I see now that this is a visual of just how far off we are from being anything other than eyesores to the Leviathan race. I feel myself falling deeper into the mentality Sky expressed just the other day.

Why did I fight and risk everything for these people?

They are corrupt. They don't care about moving forward and taking back. They only care about survival, something I should have cared about long ago. My mind shifts to Remus in our last days together. I saw parts of him that were new. He was changing. And I've tried to keep that fact at bay in my mind to ease my guilt because I ruined everything by killing him. I ruined any chance of a future for us. I chose wrong.

"What was I thinking?" I whisper aloud to myself. Regret hits me full force as I continue my way through the dark refuge. I regret what I did. Living in this harsh reality of the resistance has forced me to see what Remus was adamant about proving. Sky was right; I am naive .

A familiar house comes into view, and I finally realize where it is I am going. The light is still on in the window, meaning he is still awake. My heart beats frantically as I make my way up the steps to the last person on this planet who seems to understand me. I softly knock, my mind calming a bit when I hear his footsteps. The door opens seconds later to reveal Jude. His pale hair is messy, and his chest is covered in a light sheen of sweat as he studies me with wide eyes.

Concern laces his features when he notices the tears on my cheeks, his head angling to take me in.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

I open my mouth, unable to find the words to express how I'm feeling. So, I throw my arms around his neck, smashing my lips to his. I vaguely register the door closing behind us as Jude's hands come to rest around my waist. He gently pulls me away, looking at me in shock.

"What—" I place my fingers over his lips, enjoying the soft feel of his skin against my fingertips. His eyes search mine, and I muster all the bravery I can.

"…Please," I whisper.

Jude's expression softens, and he seems to understand my dilemma without me having to express anything more. His hand gently wraps around my fingers, holding mine in his as he leads me away from the door to his bedroom. My heart beats wildly as I follow him, excitement pooling in my belly when he turns to face me. The thoughts swimming around in my mind finally vanish as he places his lips against mine .

His lips are warm but not as soft as Remus's as he kisses me. I feel his hands around my waist, pulling me flush against him. He's shorter than Remus, so I feel his erection straining against his pants on my thigh as he runs against me. His skin is warm, not the intense heat like Remus's, but the normal temperature of a human. I thread my fingers through his hair as I deepen the kiss, ignoring the sudden squeezing pain in my head as I try to find solace from my emotions.

Jude's tongue slips into my mouth, tangling with my own as his hands shift under my shirt. He maneuvers us to the bed, never breaking the kiss as he lays me gently against the scratchy blanket, and I release a soft gasp as the dull ache of pleasure intensifies between my legs. Jude's hands roam over me, his lips suckling over my throat. I know he's trying to be gentle, but I want more. I need more and fast . I place my hands against Jude's chest, flipping him over so that I can crawl on top of him.

His eyes widen as I straddle him, enjoying the feel of his erection pressing against my sensitive sex. I pull my shirt over my head, revealing my naked breasts to someone other than Remus for the first time in my life. My heart thrums erratically, fueling me as I lean over Jude, placing my own kisses against his throat. His skin tastes salty, with the slight musk of his scent lingering as well.

The pain in my head grows to a pounding that becomes difficult to ignore. But I'm desperate for something other than the pain I've grown accustomed to. So I ignore it, grinding my sex against Jude as I ease myself toward release. Jude's hands find my face, pulling me back to his lips as we both struggle to remove our clothing. I slip my hand between us and hear Jude moan softly beneath me as I take his shaft in my hand. He isn't as large as Remus, but he's still well-endowed as I begin to stroke him.

I press his tip against my entrance, shivering slightly as I slowly lower myself atop his cock, and I begin to ride him. I hesitate as the pounding in my head shifts to an unbearable ringing that I can no longer ignore. Images of Remus flash across my mind at a speed that makes me tense from the sudden onslaught of information. My breathing comes out in soft pants until it suddenly feels like I can no longer take in a breath. My throat constricts against my will as the world blurs around me.

I vaguely register Jude saying my name as blood trickles from my nose. I choke, my eyes rolling back as the headache feels like a battering ram against my skull, the world around me spinning. I taste blood on my tongue as it spills past my lips, and I am no longer able to control myself as my body convulses on its own, and I collapse. I feel Jude shaking me, screaming my name, but I can't respond. I can't do anything as an outside force strangles me from within. I continue to seize violently on the floor, my muscles taking a mind of their own.

After a moment, I feel my body being lifted from the ground as the sound of Jude's screams permeates what's left of my consciousness. But I can do nothing as darkness overtakes me.

Remus

My eyes remain focused on the massive crater of chaos that now barrels in front of me from my rage. The water splashes violently, colliding with itself as it tries to fill the new depth of emptiness created in the ocean. My body trembles with rage as I try my hardest to regain my composure, but it feels like a mundane task. I should have killed her. Her life is now mine, and she betrayed me again. I let her live when I should have killed her.

I roar, releasing my power at full blast, ripping up the shore of the beach, the sand dissipating into nothing as the rock beneath it explodes into debris.

"Remus?" Xion's voice pulls me from my rage-filled haze, but I don't respond to her. I breathe. It's the only thing I can do to keep from destroying more of the planet. After a moment, I finally turn to face her.

"We leave now."