36. Chapter Thirty-Six

Chapter Thirty-Six

Iris

My usefulness seems to have run out. I rarely see my brother, and I have not seen Iriel since giving the last bit of information he cares about. Unless Remus somehow miraculously survived the blast, they have no more use for me. Cypress and the others left for a mission days ago to ensure Xion's death. And no one bothered to offer to send me with them. Me, the woman who was by Remus's side the entire time, the one who knows their society inside and out. I am too important to be killed in the small battles.

I always dreamed that arriving here would lift the pain I feel in my heart, but it doesn't. The people have grown complacent here in the confines of the mountain. I wonder if any of them remember their lives outside of this place before Remus arrived.

Images of the horrors I experienced flash across my brain as I think of him .

The world outside of this place offers them nothing, either. They're better off creating life in here. That is, until more reinforcements arrive to avenge their leader. How could things have gotten so out of hand in such little time? I think of Jude's words about how the resistance sees us, and I can see that he's right. Our sacrifices were in vain. Margot's death, among many others, was in vain. Everything I did to help the resistance meant nothing in the end, as it is a Leviathan who turned out to be calling the shots. Because even in our own war for our own planet, we are weak compared to our enemy. We need our enemy's weapons to come close to it being a fair fight. But at the end of the day, Iriel is relying on blackmail and leverage to carry us out of harm's way.

"You know you shouldn't be this far out alone." Jude silently takes a seat next to me. I don't bother asking him how he found me. He tends to linger at my side these days. We are the only ones that can trust each other. We share the same pain. And we are both outcasts among our own people.

He leans back, tilting his head toward the sun with a relaxed expression.

"I saw so much of the planet when I was with Remus. I find myself craving the beauty of nature," I say softly. Jude laughs next to me.

"I know what you mean. They're bastards, but they did know how to bring out the beauty of our planet," he says.

"Do you miss her?" I ask. Jude is silent for a moment, but I can feel his expression on me .

"No. Do you miss him?" he asks. I can't look at Jude as the answer forms in my head.

"I hated him... but now that he's gone, I feel like something is missing. My chest feels heavy... like no matter how much I breathe, I can never take in enough air to ease the ache," I say. I feel Jude's hand on my shoulder, forcing my tears to fall even harder. The weight of what I've done hangs over my head.

"I don't know what's right anymore," I say.

"You were abandoned at a young age and forced to live a rough life. Remus took you in. I don't know how he was when you first came into his care. But by the time I had met you, I could tell he favored you. It's why I asked for your help with all of this in the first place. It's okay to feel vulnerable, Iris. We had very different experiences with them," he says gently.

I reach behind me, pulling the pin I've used to hold my hair back out of my hair. I study it before responding to Jude.

"Do you think I made a mistake?" I ask.

I look at Jude. "I don't think Iriel is good for these people. I think he's going to get them all killed," I say.

I look back at the pin, remembering Remus when I first met him and our last moments together.

"What if I could have changed his mind?" I whisper. Finally, the unrelenting guilt I've felt comes to the forefront.

"What if all I had to do was wait and try to convince him?" I look at Jude as more tears spill down my cheeks. I hastily wipe them away, hating myself for this.

"What if I could have saved humanity? I could have given them a better future, and now, I've cursed them." I drop my head in my hands, my shoulders shaking from the pain I feel. "I fucking cursed them."

Jude's movements are hesitant, but I feel him slowly wrap his arms around me, pulling me in close to him. His hug is one of complete comfort as he lets me cry into his arms.

"You're only human. We came to you. We asked you to find his weakness. You're not the only one to blame," he says.

I want to believe him, but as I think of everything that the resistance has done and acted upon since my meeting with Jude, I realize just how damning my involvement may have been. Everything was my idea. Everything down to the plan to destroy the port. It once again shines a light on how useless of a leader Iriel is. I've accomplished more being an ally to the resistance than he has "leading" it.

"You may have been a great leader in another life."

Remus's words from that day in the park burn at the back of my mind. It was one of his many moments of vulnerability in my presence. Remus was a complex being, but he also seemed to be changing. He seemed adamant in his decision not to have humanity in his society, but he also mentioned that Margot earned his respect. Margot, a human that he so loathed.

Was it a possibility?

I lean into Jude's chest, enjoying the warmth as I try and silence my tears. I feel my own resolve coming to the forefront as I come to terms with my situation. I've been afraid to admit it, but I can find answers just by going to the facility where Ezra is kept. But the thought of my innermost fear being correct has me terrified to try.

This may be a bad idea, but I don't care. I look up as the doors to the facility finally open, and Sky comes out with a smile on her lips. Even now, my ability to enter the facilities has been revoked. As a result, it's taken me twenty minutes just to get someone to contact Sky to come outside and allow me entrance.

"Iris, what a pleasant surprise," she says as she approaches. She waves the guards off, letting me step through as I follow her into the facility.

"I'm sorry about that. Cypress increased security since leaving. It must have slipped his mind to get you access," she says as she walks ahead of me. As I look around, I see that the number of humans here is low.

"Does no one care about the fact that you have a Leviathan in your basement?" I ask. Sky chuckles at my words.

"No one knows. Most of the people who live here see this place as a refuge, somewhere they can make a new start. They aren't fully aware of our involvement in the war," she says. I look at her in confusion but she answers my question before I can voice it.

"Humans have a tendency to panic over things that don't require it. There's no need to cause panic when our captive is weaker than a five-year-old. "

She studies me for a moment when I don't respond.

"Are you okay?" she asks, pulling my attention. My gaze sweeps over the hall before landing back on her.

"Can I see him?" I ask. She looks shocked for a moment before regaining her composure.

"You want to see the Leviathan?" she asks. I slowly nod my head.

"Can I ask why?" she asks.

I let out an awkward laugh.

"I would rather you didn't," I say softly. She studies me for a moment and, for some reason, decides in favor of me.

"Come on. We just finished up a session," she says as she uses the card key to allow us both access. We make our way through the familiar hall, and I feel myself growing tense the closer we get to Ezra. Sky, however, doesn't seem worried at all.

"He's asked about you," she says as we continue up the hall.

"You talk to him?" I ask in disbelief, earning me a soft chuckle.

"Of course. It's my job to know everything about him. Including the way he thinks," she says.

"What did he ask?" I ask hesitantly.

Sky shrugs as we reach the control room.

"Mostly curious about the nature of your arrival," she says before pushing open the door. There are two men sitting at the desk looking through the glass at their prisoner. I note that they are currently injecting him again with whatever it is that keeps him weak. Sky walks to the screen, taking in the numbers and lines that run across them .

"Are these his vitals?" I ask, eyeing them. She nods her head, pointing to the nearest screen.

"His genetic makeup has taken months to decipher, and even now, there are components of his blood and tissue that we can't even identify." I look at her as she speaks, and I can see the pure fascination in her gaze as she explains her discoveries to me. I look beyond the glass to see him with his head slightly raised, his eyes focusing on the glass. Sky notices as well.

"Why don't you guys take a break? I can handle things from here," she says softly. The men don't hesitate as they rise from their seats, leaving the room. Sky takes a seat at the desk, pressing a button before speaking into the mic.

"Ezra, you have a visitor," she says. I take note that her tone is friendly—as if she knows him as a person. Ezra smiles only slightly before lowering his head.

"I know." His voice comes back over the speaker, and I shiver from the sound of it. I look at Sky, who is watching me with a strange expression. She gestures for me to go to the door.

"Go ahead," she says. I slowly make my way to the large door, looking at her one last time.

"Don't worry, I'll be right here and dose him if anything goes wrong," she says reassuringly. I gently nod my head, wondering if this is a good idea, as I push the door open to enter the same room as Remus's brother. He lifts his gaze upon my entrance, eyeing me as I approach. I take in his battered state and the way his arms are held in the machines above his head. He looks weakened physically, but the way his eyes glow in excitement, I can tell he's fine mentally. Before I can get a word out, he's speaking.

"You reek of my brother."

He studies me intensely, his gaze lingering on my throat.

"He didn't tell you, did he?" he asks with a grin. When I don't respond, he laughs, shaking his head.

"It would seem he is a little more than intrigued by you, Iris. My brother is a force that should not be tampered with. And judging from your presence here and your lack of knowledge, you did not favorably part ways with him."

"Remus is dead," I snap. Ezra raises a brow at me.

"But you don't believe that, do you?" he counters.

My flesh crawls from the weight of his gaze and he angles his head to better study me.

"Why else would you come here? Why secretly sneak into the prison where his brother is being held? To chat?" he laughs. I hate the sound of him laughing. It makes me uneasy. And puts into perspective just how little he cares for the situation.

"Why do you think I'm here secretly?" I ask. Ezra's smile widens.

"It's quite obvious. Guards had to come and get Sky just to let you in the building. You've fucked up Iriel's plans, and now that your usefulness has run out, he wants you nowhere near any of this. Can't have his leverage gaining a change of heart now, can he?"

I feel myself beginning to tremble from the knowledge he has, all from making inferences.

"They made weapons using research from your body," I say to convince myself more than him. Ezra releases a breath, his irritation visible. My heart skips a beat as he briefly resembles his older brother.

"If they can't decipher what exactly is in my blood, what makes you think they would have a weapon that powerful?" he asks, angling his head. "Come on, Iris. I know you are much more intelligent than that. Otherwise, my brother would have never wasted his time with you." Ezra's eyes twinkle in amusement. His body may be battered, but his mind is not. He almost looks as if he wants to be here.

He's enjoying himself.

"My brother saw him disintegrate into nothing," I say desperately. "He is dead!"

"Then why are you here? To prove to yourself that what they tell you is true? You and I both know that Iriel cannot be trusted. I'm sure he's feigning his excitement about the news of Remus's death, but we both know he is finding a way to make his escape before the consequences bite him in the ass. Just like he did when Remus showed up in his village."

Silence washes over us, and I come to the realization that I am just as terrified of Ezra as I am of Remus. I finally find my words, looking him in the eyes.

"Remus was looking for you. He was worried...why are you still here when you clearly don't have to be?" I ask.

Ezra smiles once again, revealing dimples on his cheeks. His unnatural gaze drifts to the glass, lingering for a second before returning to me.

"I've grown fond of my time in captivity." He accompanies his words with a laugh, forcing chills to break out over my skin. I slowly back away from him, no longer strong enough to stand in his presence, but he isn't done taunting me.

"Be careful out there, Iris. Remus won't like it if you return to him in lesser condition than when he found you," he laughs.

Sky is silent as she walks me back through the mountain to where my brother stays. It's nighttime, and only a few dim Leviathan-made lights light the path.

"How long have you had feelings for him?" I ask. Sky immediately looks up, her expression one of shock as she studies me.

"What?" she asks. I can see why Remus gets irritated repeating himself. It feels redundant when you already know the answer.

"You let me see him too easily. You didn't seem shocked by our conversation...and I can see it in your face whenever you talk about him," I say, looking down at the rocks along the path. Sky lets out a small breath.

"He asked me to see you before. I kept telling him no and that if you came to me, then I could. It wouldn't look good if I sought you out," she says. I let out a bitter chuckle.

"How much do you know?" I ask.

She shrugs. "I know enough about him and Iriel to know that what you say makes sense. I know that if I question the authority of the Leviathan in charge, it could jeopardize my position. It's dangerous here for a human. You should be careful, Iris. Iriel already doesn't like that you're here with no leverage on Remus any longer since his untimely demise. Don't give him a reason to send you away," she says, confirming my suspicions.

"Is Ezra truly a captive here?" I ask.

Sky nods her head.

"Of course. The tubes his arms are in have thousands of needles injecting liquid nitrogen into his bloodstream and muscle tissue. Even if I can't quite decipher all of it, it keeps him pretty docile. We add mercury to his system beforehand to weaken him, and combining the two does the trick," she says. "We do this every three hours."

I let out a bitter chuckle.

"That sounds like torture," I say softly.

"It is."

"He isn't human, you know. He doesn't experience things the way we do. He's evil. Just like Remus," I say.

Sky doesn't respond.

"What is your plan if Remus isn't dead? What if Remus and Xion come here and tear this place apart?" I ask.

Sky laughs softly, looking up at the dark cave.

"I keep a capsule of cyanide on me. Don't worry, if this place goes...I go with it. I would rather die than go through what you and Jude had to." She looks at me with a sad expression.

"But that doesn't mean I can't unravel the mystery of an alien in the meantime," she says. I let out a soft laugh. I understand her completely. If not for the horrors I witnessed, just learning firsthand about Remus and his people, along with his abilities, was an experience like no other.

We finally reach my brother's house, and I silently make my way to the door, pausing before I walk inside.

"Be careful with him, Sky. Don't get too attached."