35. Chapter Thirty-Five

Chapter Thirty-Five

Iris

Enjoy your freedom.

Those words haunt me. It's barely been a week, and each day that passes makes me feel like I've made a massive mistake. My mind can't seem to focus, and I can't remember the last time my head wasn't pounding in pain. The rebellion and hope I felt entering this place have all but disappeared after meeting Iriel and seeing Ezra. Remus always spoke of Ezra as being very calculating even if he was reckless. And even in Ezra's state of weakness, he taunted me, putting me on edge. He had no fear of Iriel and no reaction to the news of his siblings' deaths, a fact that Iriel seems too dumb or too arrogant to notice.

Remus always spoke of Iriel in a low light. He didn't praise him, nor did he at least admit Iriel was a formidable opponent. And Remus is never shy about revealing his true feelings. He did mention, however, how Iriel feared him and his siblings. He didn't have to tell me that though, I could see it in Iriel's demeanor around Remus. The only thing I have to go on as proof of the weapon's success is my brother's recollection of what happened that night, and he says Remus disintegrated before his eyes.

"Iris?" I'm pulled from my thoughts at the sound of my name. Cypress watches me with an irritated expression when he realizes that I haven't been paying attention to the meeting.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. I feel all eyes on me, including the eyes of Leviathan I have yet to see during my travels in this society. These must be the other traitors Remus knew about. There are also two humans in here as well who never speak. Cypress releases a deep breath before pointing back to the map on the wall. There are markings over the places Remus resided during our time together. We do this daily. They hold me in this room for hours, asking me questions about Remus and his siblings. Things that they should already know if they were set to launch an attack.

Iriel now speaks up from the back of the room.

"Take your time. We only wish to know of any locations that are not on the map," he says. Irritation ripples through my veins at the sound of Iriel's voice.

I don't trust Iriel.

I'm unsure if it's because he is Leviathan or not, but our initial meeting did little to put me at ease with him being in charge of this operation. His plan seems rushed and full of holes. Not only that, but his heavy lack of information regarding his own leader gives me a feeling of unease. It begs the question, why would they break into the height of Leviathan society only to rescue me? I know there is something deeper than what I was told. I'm terrified, however, to find out.

I look at the map, taking in the areas. And there is one area that I don't see.

"He had a place on the beach," I say.

"Can you tell us which beach?" someone asks. I shake my head.

"By then, Remus never allowed maps or plans in the same vicinity as me. He would always leave to conduct business," I say softly.

Cypress begins writing on the map as murmurs wash over the room. When I think back to my childhood, I can remember Cypress as a kind and gentle soul. But he has changed significantly since then, becoming a stranger to me. I don't understand his motivation for rescuing me. Other than our initial greeting, he's barely spoken to me if it doesn't involve information to help their plans.

I can feel the oncoming signs of a headache and I drop my head rubbing my temples. Iriel seems to notice my distress speaking again.

"I think that's enough for today."

Heavy rage washes over me once again at the sound of his voice. I don't know why it is that I hate Iriel so much. Everything about him brings me rage.

"Iris, wait." I tense as Cypress calls out to me as I make my way to the door.

"Let's talk," he says gently. Confusion comes over me at Cypress's sudden desire to speak to me. He's been distant since my arrival, treating me like he doesn't trust me, but I follow him regardless, making my way out of the facility by his side.

After we're far enough away from the facility, he reaches into his pocket, holding something out to me. My eyes widen as I take it in. It's the pendant Remus always wore. The one he placed in my hair the night of the celebration. Remus favored this one. He wore it on more than one occasion. I imagine the final night was a very special occasion if his sister was set to arrive. And he gave it to me.

I gently pull it from Cypress's hand, studying it.

"We had to check it for tracking capabilities. It's clean. Iriel says this is a rare jewel that is not from their homeworld. Remus and his siblings were the only ones ever to wear it. I guess my question is, why did you have it?" he asks. I study it, my mind shifting to that night. Remus was warm and inviting as he tucked my hair away from my face, placing the pendant in my hair.

"He gave it to me on the night of the celebration," I say softly. A sense of comfort comes over me at the pendant being in my possession. Even if it is the only thing I have left to remember Remus.

Irritation rips through me at the direction of my thoughts.

"Are you sure he's gone? Did I really kill him?" I ask, running my thumb over the jewel. The color is similar to Remus's eyes.

"Of course. We watched him die. The blast turned his body into nothing. You saw what it did to the Leviathan—"

"Do you not remember what I told you when you were a prisoner to Remus?" I ask.

"You can' t compare him to a regular Leviathan. He isn't one," I say.

"Well... I know what I saw."

My fingers are trembling as fear I've become accustomed to washes over me, but I nod nonetheless.

"I don't trust Iriel," I say. Cypress doesn't respond, so I look up at him to see him looking in the distance.

"Don't you think it's strange he himself avoids battles?" I ask.

"Come on, Iris. You wouldn't be here if it weren't for Iriel. None of us would. He's on our side. Why can't you see that? I know your time as a slave was difficult, but you have to trust me... Iriel is the one who authorized your rescue. Would he have done that if he was untrustworthy?" he says.

I look at Cypress in confusion.

"Iriel authorized my rescue?" I ask.

Cypress nods his head, his green eyes intense as he watches me.

"So if Iriel hadn't said anything... you would have left me with Remus?" I ask. Cypress finally realizes the mistake he's made, releasing an irritated sigh.

"Iris, I couldn't endanger thousands of people's lives for yours. This is war. You have to understand that," he says. I scoff in disbelief.

"But Iriel can?" I snap.

I look around to make sure no one is near us as I speak. "Why did Iriel suddenly decide it was a good idea to risk your life among others just for me? People died, Cypress. "

Cypress doesn't miss a beat. "I'm not authorized to reveal that to you."

My heart sputters at his words as horror washes over me. Whatever reason they had for rescuing me was not out of the goodness of their hearts. It wasn't even because Cypress felt the desire to do so. Iriel needs something from me. Something more than the information I've been giving.

"And if Remus survived. What is the plan then?" I ask.

Cypress releases a breath, studying me. I can tell he's wagering whether or not to tell me but decides to.

"...You are."

I tense when I feel a hand on my back, whipping my gaze around to see Jude's worried expression. He immediately pulls his hand back with an apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry, I was calling you, but you weren't answering," he says cautiously. It takes me a moment to find the words to speak.

"It's fine... I was just lost in thought, I suppose," I murmur. Jude chuckles lightly, taking a seat next to me. His eyes drift over the enclosed area where the humans roam free. I find myself comparing them to the Leviathan I saw throughout Remus's society. Remus was proud of the peace and prosperity he granted his society. The thought of turmoil they feel now with their leader dead tickles at the back of my mind. So does the endless guilt of what I had to do to distract their leader. I wonder how many innocent Leviathan are dead now because of me.

"It can be difficult adjusting to this place. The people here see us differently. You know I'm here if you need me," Jude says. I nod my head, looking at him. It's nice to see him as himself. The months Remus used him to torture me, I only ever saw that empty gaze that haunted me. But now he seems back to his usual self, and that makes me happy.

"How are you adjusting?" I ask. Not only was he under Remus's control, but he was Zaya's pet. He's endured a lot as well. He only shrugs.

"If I let my past bother me, I would never be able to find the strength to move on. Compared to waking up in that hell every day, I am great," he says. I smile at his words, trying my best to find comfort in them, but I can't. Still, Jude always found light in his situation, and I'm glad to see it hasn't changed.

"It must be nice reuniting with your brother again, right?" he says.

I release a bitter laugh, thinking of our conversation only hours ago. They all tolerate my presence because I am the only thing keeping Remus from demolishing them if he is alive. Iriel has found another puppet in his game. They never planned on rescuing me because they cared. They were rescuing me to use against Remus. My own brother saw how Remus cared for me and told Iriel, who decided I was a good weakness, to command Remus. And now, because I killed him unexpectedly, they're having to scramble for a new plan. A plan Iriel has no idea how to form .

"My brother treats me like he doesn't trust me. He believes everything Iriel says, claiming he's the reason the resistance has advanced so much. And thinks everything out of my mouth is because I've been brainwashed," I say. Jude chuckles softly, pulling my attention. He gently holds my hand in his, running his thumb over my knuckles.

"We aren't, you know. We've just seen the truth that they are all blinded to." I look at Jude, who now has a distant expression on his face.

"Unfortunately, we were slaves to the powerful Leviathan in their society. We saw up close what they can do. And you... Remus gave you an in-depth look at everything. We understand how their society truly works, but because we were slaves with free will at some points, they don't trust us."

Jude inhales a deep breath, leaning back as he looks at the world around us with a bitter smile.

"You and I will never be accepted here. Our sacrifices were in vain."