13 Austin

Austin

My arms burned. Sweat beaded on my forehead and rolled down my face. The air was cold as I pulled in slow deep breaths between each swing of the ax.

It was the last snow of the season. It hadn’t brought much, and what was here would be slush if the temperature kept going up like it had been.

Pulling the ax out of the trunk of the tree, I readied myself to swing again.

I hated chopping wood when I was a teenager. It was like pulling teeth to get me out here to do it, and I was always grumpy at my younger brother because he was tooyoung.

Thinking about him hit me like a punch to the stomach.

Braden was six years younger than me. He’d graduated college last year, and last I knew, he’d landed a job doing tech support for some widely known company. I couldn’t have been prouder. I just wish things between us weren’t so strained.

As hard as I tried with my brother, I tried even harder with my twin sisters, Dina and Diana, who were even younger than Braden. They were almost fifteen and lived with our mother, which made things hard. Mom and I… well, we didn’t exactly see eye to eye on some things, and that strain often bled into the rest of the family. I loved her, I did. But I also wanted nothing to do with her. Ma made it hard for me to see my sisters, but every chance I was given, I tried my hardest to let the twins know I was there for them.

I swung the ax again.

Over and over.

My arms shook, but I didn’t stop.

I pushed everything down and laser-focused all my energy and thoughts on the tree in front of me.

Sweat dripped in my eyes, but I swung through the salty burn that threatened to temporarily blind me.

I took all of the frustration and rage and tucked it back inside where it belonged.

One more swing and this baby was going down.

But, annoyingly, I was nowhere closer to the calm I’d hoped to get out here. Hadn’t chopped that aggression out. It was still there, bubbling right under the surface where it always was. I hated it, but at the same time, I wasn’t sure I knew how to live without it. It had been there for ten years, it was practically a part of me now.

I dropped the ax and gave the tree one good push before stepping back. My head tilted back, watching the top as it fell.

But I wasn’t done. I had to chop this thing up into smaller logs to later be split back at the barn, before I staked them to dry for next winter. It would probably take me a couple of trips back and forth to get the whole tree moved, but it wasn’t like I had anything else going on. And I was currently avoiding the house, because that was where Ford was. Ford and all his constant questions.

“Do you come out here often?”

“Who taught you to cook?”

“What do you like to do for fun?”

“How was it growing up with a serial killer for a father?”

Okay, that last one he’d never asked out loud, but I knew it was there in his head.

There wasn’t a damn question he asked that I wanted to answer. Not even when he got desperate and started asking stupid shit like what kind of food I liked the best and if I was into any sports.

I hated the questions. I hated the genuine curiosity in his eyes every time he asked me something. Oh, and I really fucking hated the way he kept trying, no matter how many times I shut him down. And it wasn’t all at once. He’d back off, but then he’d come back with another one when the silence would get too strong.

My eye twitched just thinking about it.

As much as I hated Ford’s incessant attempts to crack me open, what I detested above everything else was the way he’d gotten under my skin. The way he didn’t seem bothered when I turned cold. The way he got me to smile when I least expected it. The way he’d look at me like I was someone worth getting to know. Like I wasn’t made from the blood of a monster.

The man was seriously fucking with my head.

Time to get back to work, because the whole point of being out here was to forget about the man sitting in my grandparents’ home. Well, I suppose it was really my home now since I had inherited it after they both died seven years ago. It still felt like theirs, though, since I hadn’t changed much. It felt wrong to.

I couldn’t help but wonder what Ford was doing back at the house without me around. Was he snooping?

Nope, not going to think about it.

With jerky, angry movements, I snatched up the ax and raised it above my head, ready to take my aggression out on this tree again.

Something caught my attention out of the corner of my eye. I lowered the ax as a doe jumped and danced from behind a thick line of trees. She stopped short once she noticed me, eyes wide as she stared me down.

It seemed as if neither of us thought to move. We stood there in a stare-down for what felt like ten minutes, though it was probably more like seconds. I felt a calm wash over me as the two of us existed in this quiet woods, aware of each other, but not daring to get closer.

“Okay,” I said as I finally pulled myself back to the task at hand. “I’m gonna keep working. Feel free to hang around if you want. I won’t hurt you.”

I didn’t make eye contact again as I raised the ax and went on chopping my merry way through the tree.

I felt her there, though. Curious and cautious.

It was some cool shit.

That part of being out here never got old. The wildlife interactions. Well, the ones where it didn’t end with me dragging their corpse back to the barn.

I wasn’t a fan of hunting, but when I was here, it seemed like spitting on Grandpa’s grave not to. I always made sure to only hunt enough to get me through one visit and maybe have some for the next time I came around.

My phone rang, the shrill sound slicing through the silent world around me. The doe spooked, and I caught her disappearing into the trees as I answered the call.

“What’s up, boss?” I said with a cocky smile that I knew Reed could hear through the phone.

“How’s it going out there?” he asked.

“Fine,” I said, not elaborating. Well, there wasn’t really much to elaborate on, anyway.

“Is Ford around?”

“Nope.” I plopped my ass on a round log of the trunk that I’d chopped. “He’s back at the house. Not sure what he’s doing or when I’ll be back there to find out.”

“Are you sure everything’s okay?” he asked, the hesitation in his tone was thick.

“It’s just… a lot,” I said, but didn’t give him more.

“He’s a good man,” Reed said.

“I don’t doubt that, but you know how I get around his type. It brings up too much shit. And,” I lowered my voice as my eyes fell closed, “he knows who I am, I’m pretty sure of it. He’s not stupid or careless. He’s probably done a deep dive into each of our backgrounds. I get it, I do, it’s the same for you, but it just sets me on edge because…”

I know he knows. There was no mistaking the look I saw in his eyes. It was too telling. I hated it. Hated the way that wall had been blown to bits with one fucking look. Fuck his stupid sympathetic brown eyes.

He knew the worst things about my life. The things I spent every day running from.

“If you were ever to talk to someone, Ford might be a good option,” Reed said, causing my brow to knit in confusion, and possibly anger. “I’m not saying you have to,” he rushed to say. “Or that you should. I’m just saying that you can trust him, and he sees a side that most people don’t on a near-daily basis. He understands the… situation more than most people would.”

“I’m good,” I said, forcing a light tone. “I’ll keep that in mind.” I wouldn’t. “What did you call for?”

He didn’t sigh, but I felt his need to.

“Ford’s good to reach out to Violet. Milo and Kyle didn’t find any red flags.”

“Are you sure?” I asked hesitantly. Something twisted in my gut. Could they really do a thorough dig into this guy’s life in that little time?

“You want to question Milo?” he shot back.

No, I did not.

“Okay, so I’ll tell him when I get back to the house.”

“Should I ask what you’re doing?”

“Chopping wood before we run out,” I said as I looked down at the task I didn’t really want to finish. “Can’t have the agent freezing to death while I’m trying to keep him alive.”

“You do know I know about that house, yeah?” My expression fell and I was grateful he couldn’t see it. “I know I never said anything before, but I didn’t want it hanging between us.”

“You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t know about all the things we try to keep hidden.” My tone was supposed to be teasing but it fell flat. “Have you guys found anything more about that Lipton fucker?”

“A lot,” Reed said, voice hopeful. “But what we haven’t found is where the hell he’s at right now. I can only assume he’s the one who planted that stuff on Ford’s computer or had someone do it. If he’s like Milo says, then he has access to a damn near endless supply of hackers, so it wouldn’t even be trouble for him to find someone that could do it. And, not that I have proof, but I would put money on Lipton being the one to tip someone higher off to what Ford had on his computers after he planted it. And then, he made himself scarce to be on the safe side.”

“Kinda feels like we’re up against a monster that can’t be killed.”

“Has that ever stopped us before?” Reed shot back.

That made me smile despite the subject.

“No,” I answered, feeling a burst of fight spread throughout me. “No, it hasn’t.”