12 Ford

Ford

Hiding out was… not that exciting.

Staying stationary only gave me more time to let the thoughts run wild.

I still couldn’t believe this was happening. That the man I trusted for most of my adult life had been using and lying to me.

Supposedly.

I didn’t have proof of that yet.

Still, I had to think about all the things I knew. Like how I knew that Reed would never fuck me over like that. He wouldn’t lie to me. And everything I’d been told made sense, you know, now that I’d had time to take a step back and replay parts of my life looking at it as a spectator.

I hadn’t been able to move forward yet. I knew everyone was waiting for me to step up, but I was currently still spinning my wheels as I tried to decide who I trusted on my team. I didn’t know. It had me questioning every single thing I’d ever done. Every decision I’d made. Every person I’d interviewed and pulled in to work with me. Every interaction I’d had while I worked for the FBI.

There were many things that I planned for on a daily basis. Many things I kept in the back of my mind and prepared for should they happen. Being that I still went out in the field, there were things like injury and even death that were constantly there in the background. I had a will for the more fatal kind of injury, not like I had anyone to leave anything to, as depressing as that was. And if I should be left permanently injured and forced to be taken out of the field, I had thoughts of which backup positions I would be willing to take.

Sadly, they all revolved around staying with the FBI.

That was who I was.

That was what I’d made myself into. An agent. A damn good one, too. All I’d ever wanted was to take down bad guys and help people. Now look at where I was. I knew corruption existed, but I never thought it would touch me like this.

And maybe that was where I’d fucked up.

“Alright,” Austin said as he took a seat on the ugly plaid couch and turned his attention to me sitting on the floral print one. “I’m not trying to pressure you, but there isn’t time to sit here and kick stones.”

“Like I’m supposed to know what that means,” I said, shaking my head. I cleared my throat, thoughts sobering. “I know. I’ve been trying to think of who on my team I trust the most, but I feel like I shouldn’t trust anyone.”

“You’re letting your head get in the way.”

“Thank you for that,” I said, tone dripping with sarcasm. “I don’t need a shrink.”

“Maybe you do,” he said with a smirk. “Who’s your team leader?”

“Violet,” I said.

He’d been the first one I’d pulled onto my team. Excellent in the field. Well trained with no marks on his record. An outstanding marksman with scores in the top three percent. He also knew how to defuse simple explosives.

“And?” Austin pressed. “It sounds like you know who the strongest one on your team is, so what is the problem?”

He sounded good on paper, but what if I made a mistake? What if he’d been a snake in the grass?

“I don’t know,” I said, sounding defeated. “He’s one of my best agents. I’ve never had any issues with him.”

“Has he done anything that made you pause?”

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “But what if he seems a little too perfect? What if not making waves so that he doesn’t stick out is part of his plan?”

“Okay, wow. You’re spiraling.”

“I know,” I said as I stood. I paced the space in front of the fireplace. “I know. What else am I supposed to do? There’s a lot riding on this one thing. If I trust the wrong person, I’m dead. You might get hurt. And Reed’s whole project is fucked.”

“Make the call,” he said calmly. “If it’s the wrong call, I’ll keep you safe.”

I stopped pacing and turned to face him, silently taking him in for a long moment. He had a lazy smile on his face. His hair was a little messy in a way that said he didn’t care and not in a purposeful way. His socked feet were kicked up on the coffee table and his arms were spread out on the back of the couch as if to say he didn’t have a care in the world.

But his words…

His words held a heavy meaning. A weighted promise that one shouldn’t easily toss out there. Yet he did. He gave it to me, and as I looked into his beautiful brown eyes, I could see he meant it with his entire being.

I should have let him off the hook. Said something like, “No, you don’t need to promise that.” Except I felt the weight of that promise on me now. It said he needed this. He wanted to give it to me. He wanted something important and meaningful between us.

Or maybe I was just losing it and making shit up.

“Fine,” I said, holding my hand out as a silent ‘give me the damn phone’ order.

“Say please,” he said as he pulled the phone out of his pocket and wiggled it in the air.

“Give me the fucking phone, Austin,” I said flatly.

“Call Reed first,” he said, his face turning serious. It kind of bothered me how he could flip the switch like that. It wasn’t normal. It made my stomach twist and flip, but I couldn’t say why. Oddly enough, it didn’t feel like the typical warning bells. “We’re gonna need all this Violet person’s information, just to be on the safe side. Have Milo look into him. If he comes back with the all-clear, then we’ll make the call. Got it?”

I narrowed my eyes at him, not sure if I liked the tone of authority and superiority he was giving to me. Usually, that was my place. I was the one in charge. I was the one calling the shots and giving the orders.

I called Reed. I kept the conversation short but gave him everything I could think of off the top of my head about Agent Wilder Violet, and told him I’d wait until his people did all the checks they needed to do to feel safe.

Then I sat there and waited. I didn’t really have anything else to do. I felt out of place here in this house that wasn’t mine. And Austin seemed as thrilled to share his space as someone going for a root canal.

“How long do you think it’ll take?” I asked.

He shrugged, eyes on the wall across the room. “It depends. Could be a few hours, could be a day. If Reed can pull Milo off the Lipton shit, it will probably be quick. But Milo tends to be very focused and he gets severely irritated if you bother him while he’s deep into something.”

“Is… he doing okay after being kidnapped?” I asked though I knew the answer. Who would be okay after something like that?

His lips turned into a thin line and he gave a shrug of his shoulders as if to casually say he didn’t know. But the storm in his eyes as he glared at the fire told another story. It gave away how much he cared about Milo, and how angry he was that this had happened to his teammate.

When he looked at me, a softness took over his expression before he started talking.

“Milo’s good people. He didn’t deserve that. He’s not like the rest of us.”

His tone made me think there was something in his statement I was missing.

“What do you mean by that?” I asked without really thinking.

“He’s not field-ready. He doesn’t know how to handle the types of situations we run head-first into. He sits in an office, hiding behind a computer.”

“Oh,” I said softly. Austin was protective of his team members. It was good to know that there was a real part of him coming through. I wondered if he was aware that he’d dropped his guard long enough to show me that. “So what should we do…”

He took in a deep breath, but it didn’t feel like he was angry. More like he was stalling for time.

“We wait,” he said. “And you start telling me everything.”

I sighed heavily, not a bit thrilled about more waiting.