Chapter Two | Skylar

Chad cuddled against my side on the couch watching television as I scrolled through my phone messages. I was reading the thread Owen and I had tied up moments ago.

"Who are you talking to?" Chad asked as he raised his head from my shoulder.

"I was texting Owen. We're done now."

"It's not your usual day to text him." Chad stroked my arm.

"He was having his friends over for dinner tonight. He needed my support."

Chad was silent but I could tell he was thinking. After three years of marriage and five years together, I knew what it meant when his shoulders tensed. That and his finger scratching away at my wrist. "Why would he need support if he was with his friends?" he asked at last.

"Being with them makes him think about his own life. He believes he knows what he wants but I'm not entirely sure he does. I'm attempting to guide him through it."

Chad sighed. "You're good at guiding. I'm not sure where I'd be without you."

"You just needed some encouragement."

When I'd met Chad, he'd been a car salesman in Calgary. He loved the hustle of sales, but he was in debt and wasn't feeling fulfilled by his work. I'd challenged him to dream bigger. He'd expressed he had a fantasy where he was a real estate agent. I'd nudged him in that direction .

I looked at the television and pushed my glasses up from where they had slid to when I was looking down at my phone. Chad had chosen an action movie I wasn't interested in watching.

"I trust you," Chad said.

"And I'll never betray that trust. That's a promise."

Chad nodded his head. "I know."

Trust and communication.

Two years ago, the decision to open our relationship had come after a lot of discussion. Chad and I were solid. A couple years of dating and one year of marriage had been enough to realize we were each other's soul mates and that inviting other men to share in that would strengthen us. We each had our sexual fantasies that could only be explored by joining with others.

Sometimes, we played together with a third. Sometimes we hooked up away from one another. The thing that made it work—communication. Nothing was done in secret. We checked in before doing anything and made sure we were both comfortable with what we were embarking on.

The situation with Owen was different. He wasn't a sexual partner brought home after a night out. Not that I hadn't tried. At the Christmas party, Chad had dared me to try and pull Owen, hence the grinding on him. I'm glad that plan had been thwarted by Owen's reaction to me pinning him to the wall of that washroom stall. But this non-sexual approach with him was new territory.

Chad and I had never explored the possibility of either of us dating outside our relationship. Not that Owen and I were dating. We were just talking. Regardless, it was a new experience.

I hadn't wanted to take advantage of Owen's vulnerability that night. He was yearning for something deeper, and I felt compelled to investigate what he needed. Owen had unfolded for me during the very first text conversation we'd had. Owen was aching for someone to listen to him.

I could give him that.

Owen had never been destined to be a hookup.

Neither had Chad.

"Do you remember the first time we met in person?" I asked. My home was Toronto, but I'd been in Calgary at a pharmaceutical convention. At a loose end and tired of socializing with colleagues, I'd gone back to my room, opened a gay dating app, and gone cruising.

Chad's blond hair and tall, bulky, muscular body had caught my eye.

He hummed against my shoulder. "I was barely able to form words or stay upright."

I chuckled and kissed the top of his head. "The hookup that wasn't."

"One hour turned into two … then one night turned into more than two."

"I flew in every weekend to spend it with you." From there, we spent the next two years travelling back and forth between Calgary and Toronto. A week after Chad earned his real estate license, I'd asked him to marry me. What followed was a fairy tale wedding and Chad's move to Victoria to start his new career. I'd kept my research position at the pharmaceutical corporation in Toronto where I'd grown up and where my dad was the CEO. Light notes of a family business.

Chad shifted, stretched out, and lay his head on my lap. I carded my fingers through his soft short hair. My touch was one of the few things that brought calm to Chad's mind and body. To say he was highly strung would be an understatement. He found peace when I cared for him.

"Is that how you feel about Owen?" Chad brushed his fingers over my bare knee .

I gripped the back of his neck gently. "Babe, no. Never. No one will ever eclipse what I felt for you when we met. I was reflecting on the fact Owen didn't fall into the hookup category."

"Why do you think that is?"

I moved my fingers to the curl of his ear and rubbed it between two of my delicate pads. "It's not what he needed. You and I discussed how I believed Owen would've dropped to his knees for me if I'd asked him, but it would've felt as if I was taking advantage of him, he was so vulnerable."

Chad grunted. "What if I decide I don't want Owen touching you?"

I released Chad's ear and worked small circles with the heel of my hand on his back. "He's not touching me. We're only talking. I haven't even suggested we meet."

"You'll tell me if that situation changes?"

"Of course. We've gone over this. I won't make a move without clearing it with you first. You tell me stop and I'll stop." I exhaled a long breath. "Do you want me to stop?"

I waited for his answer. The truth was I wished I was at Owen's house so I could hold him. Owen was crying out for validation that he was more than a sexual pastime for men. He wanted to know someone other than friends and family cared for him. My work and home life schedule were already crazy but I needed to carve out time for Owen. He deserved some understanding.

But only if Chad approved.

"No, it sounds like he needs you. Not that I care much about him, but conversing with him is bringing you a sense of purpose that warms my heart. I don't want to stand in the way of that."

I smiled. "You know what would warm my heart?" I stretched forward and ran my hand from Chad's back to his adorably firm and round ass. He squirmed beneath my touch and angled his flesh up into the curve of my hand. I traced my finger down the centre seam of his jeans.

I stopped above his hole.

"Whose ass is this?"

Chad trembled and mewled softly, "Yours, Skylar."

"All mine?"

"All yours … always … forever."

I smiled at his breathy response. "I can have it whenever I want?"

Chad groaned and clutched my thigh with both hands, his forehead on the edge of my short, purple-ruffled skirt. I loved teasing him. I knew his cock would be hard already.

"How about we take this needy bottom of yours into the bedroom," I suggested. I didn't like having sex on the couch. We'd stopped using condoms years ago, which made sex messy. We had a soft and fuzzy love blanket for the bed that protected the bedding and mattress.

Chad struggled away from me and managed to find his footing on the floor. I rose with him and gripped his face by clutching his chin. I clung on tight, so he wouldn't move as I kissed him. He moaned into my mouth as I pillaged his with my tongue, tracing the contours I knew so well.

I pulled away and smacked his ass to get him moving. He took off from the family room and bounded up the stairs ahead of me. When I reached the bedroom, he was already spreading the special blanket on the bed. He smoothed it out and sat on the end of the mattress.

I approached and removed my socks and underwear but left my couture skirt in place. I was still wearing the gauzy black blouse I'd put on for our outing to the toy museum today.

I stepped closer to Chad, and he ran his hands up my thighs from my knees to my hips, his thumbs riding the sensitive inner crease of my groin. One thumb grazed my left ball .

He stared up at me, waiting.

I held steady for what was probably only thirty seconds. It felt like much longer. My cock ached to have his mouth wrapped around it. I drew in a long breath and then exhaled.

"Go ahead."

Chad dipped his face beneath my skirt and sucked on my cockhead. There was something erotic about being unable to see what he was doing, my view hidden by flowing material.

I placed my fingertips on his shoulders as he maintained suction and slid his lips down my shaft until his nose pressed against my meticulously groomed pubes. He gripped the base of my cock and drew his lips back up, sucking and slathering my hard flesh with his tongue.

"Yeah, that's it." I gripped tighter to his shoulders. Chad liked verbal encouragement. He liked to know he was doing a good job. That he was pleasing me. It was a role I had never fully played with before meeting him, but I learned quickly he needed it. Turns out, taking command of him came easier to me than I'd expected. I loved to see him happy and fulfilled.

"Yeah, babe. You're doing so well. Hold still for me." I clutched the back of his head, keeping him in place, and pumped my hips, battering the back of his throat. His lips felt slick and slippery as I eased up. He clung to my dick and started sucking again until I knew he needed to stop.

"Get undressed then up on the bed."

Chad was quick while I took my time. I removed each piece of my clothing and draped them over the back of the chair in the corner. The skirt would need to be dry cleaned after having Chad beneath it slobbering and sucking on my cock. The blouse would accompany it. Not because it was dirty necessarily but because I never wore anything again without having it cleaned.

After setting my glasses on the dresser, I wandered back to the bed. Chad was stretched out on his stomach, his head on a pillow. If we hadn't bought a king-sized bed, his feet would have been near the foot of the mattress he was so tall. He towered over me when standing.

I started at his heel and kissed a line up the back of his leg until I reached his ass. It received a smack instead of a kiss. We didn't partake in spanking but a sharp reminder of who was in charge was always welcome during our intimate sexual encounters.

I crawled further up his body until I could kiss the back of his neck. I dragged my hard cock up and down his crease as I nibbled on the soft enticing line from his neck to his shoulder.

Chad moaned as I sucked on his flesh, long enough, and in one place, that I would leave a mark. It wasn't the only mark Chad had on his body. I straddled his thighs, straightened up, and looked down at my handiwork. He had varying shades of bruising on his back starting from his shoulders and ending at the soft areas above his hips.

My husband loved me to leave marks. Told me they reminded him of how much I loved him when I wasn't around. When I spent my weekdays in Toronto alone in my too-quiet apartment.

His front was as covered as his back. Maybe moreso. When he wore a tank top to the gym, the marks on his biceps were visible. It gave Chad a thrill knowing other people in the gym were seeing them, and they knew he had someone in his life who worshipped him.

I moved to the side of the bed and grabbed the lube from atop the bedside table. I didn't need to tap Chad's thighs to get him to open his legs. He was already positioned, his ass rising and falling with moments of grinding his dick against the bunny-soft blanket.

Finding my place between his legs, I lubed my fingers and circled his hole with one. His opening clenched and released, and then he relaxed .

I started with one finger for mere moments before adding a second. Chad and I had fucked twice this afternoon. He was still swollen and prone to popping open. I couldn't get enough of him. The way he turned himself over to me was intoxicating.

Prepped enough to ease any discomfort, I switched from my fingers to the head of my cock against his hole. Chad whispered, "Yes, please yes," as I slid into him. He angled his hips up and braced himself, tucking his elbows beneath his chest and clutching his pillow.

My first thrust bumped him forward. I had to adjust as he pulled up onto his knees. He wanted me deep. I pulled back and snapped forward then started a steady battering, the way he liked. Chad loved to feel his insides being pummeled. I'd watched many a man pillage his ass while sitting in the corner tugging on my cock. Imagining how his groans would fill the room, accompanied by his doing so now urged me to grip his hips and give him a proper hard fucking.

A tingle rose in my groin and my balls tightened. I thrust fiercely into him and emptied them into his ass, my cum coating his battered bowels.

I released him and sat on my haunches, playing my finger into his ass as he pushed out for me. I reached through his legs. His dick was soft. I jacked it slowly as I licked away my cum leaking from his hole. He bore down and more emerged and ran down his balls.

Lifting them, I sucked them clean then took another swipe with my tongue across his gaping oozing opening. I gripped his ass cheeks and feasted, licking and sucking, and piercing his swollen hole with my tongue until his legs couldn't hold him any longer and he collapsed on the bed.

I encouraged him to roll over. He did so with a moan and ran his hand into my hair as I took his cock into my mouth. It wasn't long until he was filling my throat with his cum .

My mind hazy—my body sated, I rolled off him. Chad flung his heavy arm across my chest and tucked his face against my neck, his slowing breath hot on my skin.

I only lay beside him for a few minutes before I felt like I desperately needed a shower. I nudged him and he knew where the evening would lead next.

After extracting myself from under Chad's arm, I headed for the bathroom and started the shower while Chad went to the laundry room and threw the love blanket in the wash. He joined me as I stood beneath the hot spray of water after brushing my teeth.

"Did you enjoy the toy museum?" I began as he emerged from under the water, and I started to wash his hair for him. It was a ritual after sex, spending time to shower Chad with loving care and affection. He enjoyed having his hair and body washed by me.

"Always a riot to see the toys I used to play with as a kid in a museum. Makes me feel old."

I chuckled and kissed the back of his rinsed head. "You're just the right age."

"The twelve-year age difference still isn't bothering you?"

"Never. You're my burly bear and I'll love you forever."

Chad hummed and leaned his back against my chest, prompting me to wrap my arms around his waist and hold him tight. This was the only man I'd ever truly loved.

There had been many men in my life, but none held my heart like Chad. His love and his desire to keep a home for me filled a need in my life I'd never considered until I met him.

I smiled and kissed his head. I enjoyed his exuberance for life and humour, including his propensity for playing practical jokes; Owen being his current target.

Mostly, though, I loved how we needed and cherished us . How we were each other's person. We both had friends and family members we could talk to, but we gravitated toward one another.

I clung tighter to him, and he turned in my arms to face me.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

"Just giving thanks to the universe for bringing you to me. I wanted to cling tight in case she decided I wasn't worthy of you and sought to rip you away from me."

Chad huffed out a laugh and kissed my cheek. "You're such a romantic."

I stroked his cheek. "Are we clean enough for bed?"

"I'm ready to crash."

After toweling off, we arranged ourselves in bed as we did on the nights we were together. Chad liked to little spoon in front of me. His shoulders and chest were so broad, it felt as if I was sleeping with a mountain at my front. I still managed to hold him in a way he said made him feel safe. My delicate twink frame somehow made this hulk of a man feel secure. It wasn't my body, I knew that. His mind was safe with me. My arms were simply an extension of that. A reminder.

As I breathed against the back of Chad's neck, my thoughts turned to Owen. I would never risk losing Chad over what Owen and I were doing. But Chad hadn't spoken as though it was even a possibility in his mind. He'd said he trusted me. That he understood I needed this with Owen.

The truth was, there was something about Owen, aside from his need for me to listen and support him, that continued to draw me in. He felt like a puzzle piece.

One I wasn't sure was missing in my life with Chad.

I inhaled the clean scent of my husband. Anything that happened with Owen would have to benefit Chad as well as me. That much I knew for sure.

It was good to be at my grandma's for Christmas dinner. Chad and I had flown into Toronto late on Christmas Eve after having our own celebration at home. Beneath our tree. In front of our roaring fire. Vegan hot chocolate in hand; Chad's topped with whipped cream. If it hadn't been for the fact it contained actual milk, I would have covered Chad's body in it and licked him clean.

My dad and I were sitting in the living room, sipping on the GlenDronach scotch Chad and I bought him for Christmas. We'd attempted to help with both the preparation of dinner and the cleanup but had been thrown out of the kitchen by my grandma and Chad.

Those two were thick as thieves the way they moved about the kitchen, chatting, and giggling at things my dad and I weren't privy to. Together, they'd made the best roasted nut loaf for me. The rest of my family had the traditional turkey. The smell of it distressed me but I'd never complain. Christmas was one of the few times my entire family was together.

I'd been nervous to bring Chad to meet my grandma four years ago. Her opinion meant everything to me. The kind and generous woman had practically raised me after my mom died. Breast cancer had taken my mom from me when I was nine, and because of my dad's crazy work schedule, I had spent every weekend, after school, and dinner at my grandma's. I learned my nurturing ways from her. Even as a child, I admired how she didn't think twice about caring for me. If I could be even half as supportive to Chad as she was to me, I'd feel fulfilled with life.

Chad's age had concerned me when I brought him to meet her. I thought my grandma would balk and say he was too old for me. Quite the opposite happened. My grandma had welcomed him into her home, spent time with him, and came away saying he was perfect for me .

She had asked me about my role in the relationship after seeing how Chad doted on me. And how we spent significant time with me holding him. I hadn't tried to hide our dynamic.

My grandma wasn't surprised that opening my mind and heart to my nurturing side brought me and Chad incredible joy. She had warned me to tread carefully. Chad was so fully in love that he was vulnerable. I already knew that about him. I'd taken on a lot; I was aware of that. But even at the young age of twenty-seven, I felt as if this was where I was meant to be.

Caring for and loving Chad.

"How's work?" my dad grumbled.

I smiled at him. "You know perfectly well how work is going. There isn't a second in the lab when I don't feel like you're not breathing down my ass."

He grunted and took a sip of his drink. My dad was a man of few words. Except when he was upset about something. Then you needed to be ready for a lecture or dissertation.

"Dinner was perfect as usual," I offered, trying to draw him out.

"They make a good team in the kitchen."

I nodded then lifted my glass and let a mouthful of delicious warmth descend to my belly. I looked at my phone. I wanted to text Owen before his family started dinner. There was a three-hour time difference between Toronto and Victoria. We'd had our dinner at seven.

"If you'll excuse me," I said and rose to my feet. I made my way down the hall to the small office my grandma kept. It had once been a bedroom for me on the nights I needed to stay over because my dad was working late. Being the CEO of Aldec Pharmaceuticals development team was more than a full-time job. He'd done his best with me, but we'd never become close.

I sat in the chair in front of the desk and texted a line .

Me: Merry Christmas.

I didn't have to wait long for a response.

Owen: Merry Christmas to you too.

Me: Is it almost time for your dinner?

Owen: I have a few minutes.

Me: Who is there tonight?

Owen: My mom and my stepdad. My two brothers and my stepbrother, and their wives and children. Absolute mayhem. The kids tore into their presents already.

Me: Pretty quiet here. My grandma and Chad are cleaning up the kitchen. Dad and I are chilling with a nice scotch. We've been banned from helping.

Owen: I usually get roped into dish duty.

Me: How's your mental state holding up?

Owen: It's difficult to be around everyone. I love seeing them. It's great that we get together like this every year, but it's hard not to feel less than.

Me: You were raised to believe a spouse and children were the ideal situation?

Owen: My mom showers her attention on my brothers and their families. With me

There was a pause that lasted a few heartbeats.

Owen: she always takes me aside. Asks if I'm seeing someone. Reminds me the family would welcome a man as my partner. That she'll always love me no matter what.

I furrowed my brow as I read those lines .

Me: Was there ever a time that wasn't true?

Owen: My parents took a while to warm up to the idea of a gay son.

A link to understanding Owen connected with the chain of his negative life's experiences I was creating in my mind. Someday, I hoped to be able to lift the links from around his neck.

Me: Tell me about your brothers.

Owen: I think I told you, I'm the eldest.

Me: You did. That you often had to care for the rest of them.

Owen: Yeah. My stepbrother, Matthew, is next in age to me. He joined our family when I was eleven. My parents divorced a year before that. It was a bit shocking how fast Mom moved on.

Owen: Next is my brother Aaron. He's two years younger than me. Very serious guy. He's in the Air Force. He was lucky enough to be stationed in Comox.

I leaned back in my chair and let Owen text uninterrupted.

Owen: The youngest is Caleb. He's always been rambunctious. He works in construction. Loves to be outside or busy hammering a house together.

Odd.

Me: You didn't tell me what Matthew does.

Owen: He's a doctor.

Me: And what's he like? Did you two get on well when you blended your families ?

Owen: It was rocky at first. He was an only child, and I'd always felt separate from my brothers because I was the eldest. We jockeyed for the same position of authority for a while.

Me: But you smoothed it out?

Owen: Maybe too much.

I sat up straight. Was Owen about to supply me with another link?

Me: What do you mean by that?

Owen: As a teenager, I started crushing on him.

I smiled. That had to be a deeply hidden secret, and he'd shared it with me. His telling me made me feel honoured. We were building a curious but strengthening bond.

Me: Did you act on it?

Owen. Hell no. He's straight and both he and my family would have been horrified.

Me: I know a devoted couple who are stepbrothers. It happens.

Owen: Not in my world.

Me: How do you feel about him now?

Owen: Fuck. You managed to zero right in on that one, didn't you. Truth is, I still want him.

Me: Does that make things awkward?

Owen: Infinitely.

Me: Does it contribute to your uneasiness at family dinners?

Owen took a moment .

Owen: You're right. It does. I need to resolve the infatuation.

Me: Let me know if you need help with that.

Owen: I will. I gotta go. Dinner is ready.

Me: Try to have a good time. Family is precious.

Owen: I'll keep that in mind. Thanks again as always.

Me: For as long as you need me.

I sighed and scrubbed my hand over my face. Owen was unpacking some significant baggage in front of me. I hoped it helped to talk about it with someone. With me specifically.

I returned to the living room, sat, and took up my drink. Chad emerged from the kitchen, sought me out, and cuddled up against me. I kissed the side of his head and hugged him to me.

Family truly was precious.