22. Chapter 22

We'd wrapped up Thanksgiving dinner. It'd been loud and lively, full of laughter and way too much food. I loved that almost all our food came from our own farm, except the turkey. My parents had cows, horses, and chickens, but we didn't raise turkeys.

Dad and my sisters had settled in the living room. Dad napped while football played in the background, and my sisters were on their phones, watching videos or texting their friends. Usually, we all chipped in to clean the kitchen, but I'd kicked them out to talk to Mom privately.

I scrubbed the large bowl used for mashed potatoes as Mom used a dish towel to dry a pot I"d washed. "Alright, out with it. You wouldn't be in here doing dishes without everyone else if you didn't need to talk."

I smiled at her as I rinsed the soapy bowl. "Yep, I need to talk, but… please don't tell anyone. This is only between us because it's not only about me."

"You got it, honey."

"This is about Cooper… and me."

"So, there is something going on between you."

I huffed a laugh at her intuitiveness. "Well, not the time you'd first asked, but we were messing around for fun. It'd seemed like a good idea at the time. I'd been struggling to find a girl for something more, so I tried my hand at being with a guy. It wasn't supposed to be serious with Cooper."

Mom took the bowl I handed her to dry as I grabbed the large pan the turkey had been roasted in and squirted some dish soap in it.

"And now it is?"

"I want it to be." I stopped scrubbing and looked at my mom, filled with so much love and appreciation for her never being judgmental. "Cooper is amazing, Mom. He's so kind, fun, smart, and sexy. God, and when he's all shy and blushing… I never thought I'd be into a guy, but here we are. I always believed that the right person would find me, and I… think he's my right person."

"Oh, sweetheart. I'm so pleased you finally found someone who makes you happy."

I started scrubbing the pan again. "Yeah, but… he doesn't want that. That's the problem. At least, I don't think so."

"Is that what he said?"

I shook my head. "Not in so many words, but he's made it clear that he could never be with a guy. He's afraid of how his parents and teammates will react. I… think he likes me more than he's let on, but we haven't talked about it."

Mom touched my arm, grabbing my attention to look at her. "Aspen, that's not like you to leave these things hanging. You two need to talk and be honest with each other."

"I know, but this is also new to me. It's so different and a little confusing. I wasn't expecting to fall for a guy, which is fine. I adore Coop, but he's sending me mixed signals, and I'm not sure what to do about it. And to be honest, I'm not ready for us to end this thing going on between us."

She pressed a gentle hand to my cheek and smiled patiently. "Aspen, you're a smart young man. You know that's not sustainable. You two have to talk about this before it ruins your friendship."

I sighed and nodded. "I know. Cooper won't want to be with me once I tell him. I like him so much, Mom. It's going to hurt."

"It will hurt, but then you can keep being friends. And who knows, maybe down the road, Cooper will overcome his fears and choose you."

I leaned down and kissed her cheek. "Maybe, but I doubt it. His parents aren't like you and Dad. They're very rigid with everything he does."

"And maybe he will surprise you. You won't know until you two talk. All the more reason to be honest with each other."

I hoped, but Mom was right. I'd never know his feelings unless I talked to him. It was a risk I was going to have to take. When he arrived on Saturday, I would do just that. But if he turned me down, I'd have to suck it up and adapt to the possibility that all of this was over between us. At the end of the day, and as much as I was into him, I'd rather keep our friendship.

The next afternoon, we all piled into the living room to watch the Longhorns play against Texas Tech. Sage sat on the end of the sofa, stretching her long-as-hell legs across my thighs as Ginkgo, our fluffy white cat, slept on her. While she loved basketball, football wasn't her thing, so she was on her phone watching TikTok. Sage's long, black braids spilled over the armrest of the sofa as she played with Ginkgo's fur and scrolled through the videos.

Mom and Dad fostered her when she was an infant after being abandoned at the local fire department. They fell in love with her and ended up adopting her when she was two.

Where Sage was a tomboy, Willow was girly and more serious. She kept her long, sleek, dark hair back into a ponytail, wearing several earrings and makeup on her face despite not going anywhere, but she kept it minimalist. Her amber eyes and her tanned skin stood out enough that she didn't need anything on her face.

Willow had also been fostered as a baby from another unwanted pregnancy.

She rested her head on my shoulder as she also played on her phone, texting her friends on Snapchat. She took a quick selfie of her and me, posting it to her friends.

I was super close to my sisters, and I always tried to be the big, supportive brother for them.

Mom curled up on Dad's lap as she played with the long, brown-and-gray hair that rested on his shoulders. God, I wanted a relationship like theirs, still in love with each other. Even after twenty-five years, they snuggled and kissed like they'd just started dating. It was probably why I struggled to find someone. Maybe they were unique and special to the world, and I would never find what they had.

I loved being around my family, and I missed living here. The house was cluttered in a cozy way, filled with so much love, warmth, and happiness. I would do anything to protect it.

The game finally came on, and the first quarter was slow as hell and kind of boring. A different receiver for the Longhorns made a touchdown against Texas Tech, and it ended on a field goal, leaving the score 10-7 with the Longhorns in the lead. But when the second quarter started, things got exciting. It was one of their rushes who made a sixty-eight-yard touchdown, leaving Texas Tech in his dust.

Things slowed down again as the second quarter ended with three other field goals, leaving the score 26-7.

"Damn, Cooper's hardly playing today," I said. "You all should see him when he's on fire."

"Regardless, the Longhorns are killing it on the field. Their defense is solid, keeping Texas Tech from scoring," Dad said.

Whenever I saw Cooper out on the field, my body tensed as I rooted for him, but he seemed mentally off today. He'd missed three throws, and the couple of times he caught it, the defense quickly tackled him. Each time, I'd hold my breath until I knew he was okay.

On the sidelines, the camera panned to him, looking tired and sweaty, and I wanted to reach into the TV screen to tell him whatever was bothering him would be fine.

By the third quarter, he'd finally made a touchdown, but he didn't seem all that pumped about it. Whenever the camera panned back to him, he wasn't as excited as he usually was. Did something happen over Thanksgiving yesterday?

The Longhorns scored two more touchdowns and another field goal, but Cooper wasn"t involved in any other scoring.

The game ended with another Longhorn player intercepting the ball and running it back for a touchdown, ending the game at 57-7.

"God, Cooper was really off tonight."

"No one is perfect and on all the time," Sage said, not taking her eyes off her phone once. "Whatever, though. The Longhorns slaughtered Texas Tech."

"I know that, but… I don't know. He's usually amazing out there. I hope nothing's wrong."

I paced my room, staring at my phone, debating whether to text Cooper. We chatted for a while on Thanksgiving Day, but he said nothing about anything bad happening. I needed to know if he was okay, even though he was supposed to be on his way after the game.

Me: Hey, great game tonight.

After a couple of minutes, the dots on the messenger appeared. Anticipating his response, I bit my bottom lip to contain my excited smile, as my stomach fluttered and my stress instantly eased from how quickly he responded.

Coop: Meh. Thanks, though.

Me: You okay? You seemed off today.

Coop: Yeah

Me: Come on. Talk to me. I can tell

something's bothering you.

Instead of texting back, he called me. My stomach and heart fluttered again. That was happening a lot, and I wished my body would calm down because the likelihood of all this ending was high.

"Hey," I answered a little breathlessly.

"Sorry, it's just easier to do this over the phone."

"That's fine. I'm here when you need to talk."

His sigh was loud over the phone, and I imagined him running a hand through his red strands.

"What are you doing?"

"I just got in my truck, about to head your way. It'll take me about a few hours to reach you from Fort Worth."

"Okay, good. Now talk to me," I told him again.

"Ugh, it's my parents. We had a fight, I guess you could say. Oh, but no yelling was involved, because god forbid, though did do a lot of snapping at each other, mostly from me."

"Shit, what happened?"

He huffed a self-deprecating laugh. "I stupidly thought Thanksgiving would be the perfect time to tell my parents about a career change."

I sat on the edge of my bed as my legs nearly gave out. My brave fucking Cooper. "Wow, I'm… so proud of you, Coop."

"Thanks, except that my announcement didn't go over too well."

"No doubt, judging by what you've told me about your parents. So, you told them you wanted to play football professionally?"

"I did. They weren't happy, and they told me no, but I'm going to do it anyway. It's my fucking life."

I smiled and gnawed on my bottom lip for a second. "Absolutely. Good for you. As I said, I'm so proud of you. That must've been hard." Then I stood and did an excited little happy dance.

For the first time since I started catching feelings for Cooper, I felt optimistic about us. That maybe we stood a chance. If he could tell his parents about his career change and stick with it, would he tell them about us? I understood his fears, and it would take a while to open up because telling someone you're changing careers wasn't the same as telling your parents that you liked dudes. Still, the hope blossomed.

"Asp? You still there?"

Shit. "Yeah, sorry. You're so brave, man."

He huffed another laugh. "Thanks. I don't feel like I am, but I appreciate it."

"I can't wait until you get here."

"I can't either. I'll be there around six tonight."

Cooper and I talked for a bit more before I had to let him go so he could drive and arrive sooner.

I was fucking energized now. My heart slammed against my chest with this renewed sense of hope surging.

For the first time, I believed that Cooper and I would stand a chance to explore this thing between us more seriously. I couldn't wait until he got here to talk about it.