18. Chapter 18

I dunked my head in the steaming hot shower in the locker room after our game against Kansas State. My body fucking ached everywhere, having played my ass off. We'd just barely won. Well, we'd been tied and won by three points at the last fucking second with a field goal.

I'd been so off my game today, missing three throws. Granted, Ronnie tossed the ball too far downfield the first time, sailing over my head, but damn if I didn't try to catch it anyway. Regardless, I'd set the pace for Ronnie and me to work out of sync.

It'd been four days since Halloween. Four days since I fucking kissed Aspen. That shit hadn't been in the cards for us. It'd never been a part of the plan. I'd been so wrapped up in what he did with our dicks that instinct took over, and I pulled him down to kiss him. When we finished, I'd been so fucking embarrassed. This was only for fun, and I'd made a fool of myself by getting jealous and then fucking kissing him. So, what did I do? Pretended as if none of it mattered.

Except you touched his face tenderly, dipshit. Way to send him and you mixed signals.

Aspen tried to hide his feelings, but I saw his face fall before he hid it, and because this was Aspen, he had a totally chill vibe and acted like I hadn't made a complete ass of myself. Despite that, I kind of avoided him the past few days, not wanting to face my humiliation head-on.

God, what was wrong with me? Kissing him had been nothing like kissing a girl at all. He was hard, with scruff, and his kiss turned controlling with firm lips. And I fucking liked it. A lot. I didn't know if it was from the newness of kissing a man and being so different from a woman. Or maybe I liked dudes after all. No, I'd never been attracted to a guy before. Ever. Even when my friend kissed me back in high school, and I didn't hate it, I still didn't wonder if I should date my friend, nor did I ever question my sexuality—not until Aspen.

Don't even get me started on the frotting. That was insane. The sensation was unreal, and the pressure of his hands as we thrust, skin against skin, along with his heat, left me desperate for more. I'd never been so turned on before. When I came, I became like a pressure valve finally able to release.

Did I really like Aspen that much? Did this mean I was bi or something? Aspen said sexuality was fluid, and I guessed he could've been right, but… I couldn't go there. I hadn't thought too hard about it before, but now that I was catching the damn feels, I questioned everything. I couldn't do this with so much at stake. Despite how laid back Austin was, this was still Texas. Queers were barely tolerated at best. But it was my teammates and family that worried me the most.

Why was I stressing about this? Aspen wanted this thing between us to be casual and nothing more, right? But he kissed me back. What did that mean?

I growled at myself to get over it. I'd been in the shower too damn long. After quickly washing my hair, I lathered up my body, rinsed, and stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around my waist before walking over to my locker.

My teammates were all there in various states of undress, laughing, joking, or talking about the game.

A slap on my back made me jump, and I turned around to scowl at Ronnie. "What?" I snarled.

He lifted his hands in mock surrender while his dark eyes grew wide. "Dude, I'm just checking on you. Chill, man. You've been tense and quiet all day. What's going on with you?"

I glanced over to my right when Bryce came over and sat on the bench next to me. I slipped on a pair of boxer briefs under my towel before pulling it off.

"Yeah, you've been off today," Bryce said.

"Yeah? No shit, Sherlock."

Ronnie snorted a laugh. "Well, someone's pissy." He grabbed my shoulders and forced me to stop getting dressed and sit down. "Out with it. What's going on?"

Fuck, I couldn't ever tell them what was happening to me. Not only was I having… whatever it was Aspen and me, but I was questioning my sexuality, having a slight existential crisis. "Nothing, man. Can't I have an off day? We're allowed those, right?"

Bryce and Ronnie looked at each other with even more concern. Jesus. To be fair, whenever I had off days, I would normally be obsessively rehashing every single play, seeing where I went wrong, and I hadn't done that today. That was how much Aspen currently owned my brain.

Bryce wound a meaty arm around my shoulders and pulled me close, but I shoved him off since he reeked, not having showered yet. "Gross."

"This isn't like you, Coop," Bryce said, ignoring my complaint. "The last time you felt you messed up a game too much, you refused to shower. You'd be looking over the plays and rehashing all your mistakes. It's like your coping mechanism. You aren't doing that."

I sighed, stood, and pulled out my black, fitted T-shirt from my locker. I tossed it over my head, shoved my arms through the holes, and smoothed it down over my stomach. "I'm well aware of my habits, but… I'm just not in the mood right now."

"Baby, we all have off days. Hell, I hadn't been on my game today either, but we only need four more wins to make it to the Sugar Bowl and onward to the championship. Four games. We can do it, but I need you with me." He put a hand on my shoulder and gripped it. "Are you with me?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm with you. Promise."

Bryce stood and elbowed Ronnie with a smirk on his face. "I know what our boy needs."

"Yeah, I think you and I are on the same wavelength, Bry Baby. Our boy needs to get laid."

I rolled my eyes when they fist-bumped.

"I don't need to get laid."

Bryce scoffed. "Of course you do. How long has it been since Amanda cheated?"

"I'm not sure. Six months?"

"Fuck me. Six months is too long to not fuck," Ronnie said, nodding.

How little they knew.

"Say, let's go out tonight and find our boy a girl for the evening."

That was the last thing I needed. "No. I'm good. I don't need a girl."

Ronnie sat down, straddling the bench. "The best way to get over a girl is to get under one."

I rolled my eyes again. "I'm not like that, Ronnie, and you know it. That's your schtick, not mine."

Of course, Ronnie wouldn't let up. He was obsessed with girls and sex. "My girl has a best friend who's fine. She's redheaded like you. It's like you two were made for each other."

I sighed. "No. Please, just let me move on in my own way."

I was so over Amanda, thanks to Aspen. I'd barely thought about her since we started giving each other blow jobs, or bro-jobs, as he liked to call them.

I pulled out my deodorant, lifted my shirt, and rolled it over my pits before tossing it back into the locker. Then I grabbed my jeans and pulled them on.

Bryce stood and tossed his towel over his bare shoulder. "I need a shower. Let's go out tonight anyway and see what happens."

"Just let me stew for a bit. I want to go over all the plays at home and analyze them. I'm not up for going out tonight." Lies, lies, lies. I had no intention of going over the plays. My mind still wasn't in the game at all.

"Alright, man, but I expect you to be on next week. We're taking this rodeo to the championships."

I plastered a fake smile on my face as we fist-bumped. "You got it."

Once Bryce and Ronnie hit the showers, I got out of there before they talked me into going out with them. Aspen or no Aspen, I definitely didn't want to find a girl. It was one of the reasons I agreed to his insane idea of bro-jobs, to find some relief without going through the motions of dating again. How little I realized that I would even be attracted to him.

I came home to smells of something cheesy and heavenly. Aspen had his shirtless back to me at the stove, stirring something in a pot. At least he wore shorts. I wasn't sure I could handle him naked right now. I was surprised Morpheus wasn't tangled in his curls.

I coughed, still embarrassed after that kiss. "Hey."

Aspen turned around with a beaming smile on his face. "Hey! Awesome game, Coop."

"Ugh, it was a lousy game. I did horribly."

"You're too hard on yourself. Even the best players in the world mess up from time to time. Besides, you all won, so that's all that matters."

Seeing Aspen so supportive and full of smiles had me floundering and doubting myself. Maybe I had nothing to worry about.

"What's for dinner?"

"Homemade macaroni and cheese with a salad. We need our veggies."

"Can I help?"

He slipped the casserole dish into the oven and turned to the counter, where the cutting board and assorted vegetables were waiting to be chopped.

He winked at me. "You can keep my cock warm as I dice veggies."

Was he joking? As absurd as that sounded, all my humiliation went out the window while the blood flowed straight to my dick, wanting to drop to my knees and suck on him while he cooked. No, it didn't just go out the window. It took a jet airplane and flew to New Zealand.

I swear his lips and dick were like crack. It was like nothing had happened the other night, and everything went back to normal. All my previous embarrassment washed away, replaced with want. I walked behind him, reached around, and cupped his cock. "Can you handle being sucked off while dicing?"

He looked over his shoulder at me with a broad smile, showing off those cute dimples at the corners of his mouth, and shrugged. "Who knows? We can find out if you're up for it because I'm missing your mouth right now."

Fuck me.

So, he was serious, after all. It was my turn to cup myself as I grew solid from his naughty mouth.

Hell. Why not?

Who knew I would actually like sucking dick? Well, Aspen's dick.

God, did I really want to do this? Yes, because Aspen was my magnet for some fucking reason. As sense left me, I slid to the tiled floor, leaned against the cabinets, and spread my legs so Aspen could stand between them.

Chopping sounds echoed through the kitchen as I tugged on Aspen's shorts, pulling them down. His cock stood hard already, and it bobbed when the elastic band slid over it.

I grabbed the base to hold it still while I nuzzled my nose in his trimmed pubes, inhaling his smell. It always reminded me of grass after a rain mixed with his earthy musk. It made me strangely intoxicated—so different from a woman's scent.

I took another deep breath of him before licking the underside of his cock. The chopping noise stopped, replaced by hissing from Aspen. "Fuck, fuck, fuck…"

The cutting of vegetables resumed as I took him into my mouth as far as he could go without me choking. I had a serious gag reflex, so it wasn't very deep, but Aspen didn't seem to mind in the least.

"I'm not sure I can do two things at once," he rasped. Aspen slammed down the knife and thrust his dick into my mouth. "Yeah, take my cock. You can do deeper, Coop. I know you can."

I opened my throat as much as possible and breathed through his pumping. I still gagged and drooled all over the fucking place, making my eyes water.

"Yeah, gag around my dick."

Christ, his mouth. Aspen could teach me a thing or two about dirty talk.

He pulled out, leaving a trail of saliva on his tip. I looked up at him as he looked down at me. "Holy shit, Coop. You look fucking hot down there, worshiping my dick. Your face is all red, covered in drool with swollen lips. I've never seen anything sexier. It's not going to take me long to nut."

My face burned even brighter with his words, but I loved the praise, too. It spurred me on, wanting to do better for him.

My cock strained in my jeans as Aspen continued to fuck my face. Before I could think too hard about it, my hand slid up his thigh, along the curve of his firm and plump ass, and I slipped my fingers through his crease, grazing his hole.

"Oh god…" He ground out. "Touch me there some more."

My encouraged finger dug deeper into him, edging the tip of my finger inside, but not much further since I had no lube on me.

His thrusts grew more erratic, and his hot cock swelled on my tongue. My jaw ached and my throat constricted, but I pushed through the discomfort. Suddenly, his body stiffened, and I was prepared for the torrent of cum in my mouth. His hot essence coated my tongue and spilled down my throat as I scrambled to swallow it all.

I was breathing heavily once Aspen slid his flaccid dick out of my mouth, and he dropped to the floor with wide, dark eyes, staring right at my lips like he wanted to kiss me. Instead, his eyes blinked rapidly before he looked at me, like snapping out of a trance.

"My turn," he rasped.

I wiped my wet face with the back of my hand, needing fucking relief. My dick ached like hell. I stood, quickly unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans, pulling them down with my underwear around my thighs.

"I need to come now."

Still on his knees, Aspen opened his mouth for me, but instead of me shoving my dick in, I just pumped and pumped with my hand and cock close to his face.

My hand was frantic and desperate. I broke out in a sheen of sweat in the warm kitchen, lost in my rapidly growing pleasure.

It didn't take long for my balls to grow tight and the pressure to build around my cock. I bit my bottom lip and stroked faster. Aspen opened his mouth wider right when I fell over the edge, painting all over his face in white, sticky cum. Jesus… I'd never even done that to my ex-girlfriend. It was so hot to see Aspen take my cum all over him, and he fucking liked it, judging by his growing smile and licking the corner of his mouth.

He looked up at me. "Damn, Coop. Naughty. Sexy."

My face burned again as my dick still pulsed in my hand. I quickly tucked myself back in, zipping up before pulling some paper towels off the roll. I kneeled before him and carefully cleaned his face.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."

Aspen scoffed. "Don't you dare be sorry. I loved it."

My smile was shy as I nodded. "Okay."

After dinner, Aspen and I sat on the couch, touching shoulders and eating popcorn while watching a movie as if we hadn't had amazing orgasms earlier. It reminded me that this would never be more. Aspen didn't want that. He would've told me since he was honest about everything. So, instead of freaking out about my sexuality or worrying about what others might think, I let it go. It would never be more than this, and I was fine with that, right? Yeah. It was for the best.

I yawned, and my eyes burned as the movie was coming to an end. Suddenly, Aspen fell over, right on me, completely out. His face was on my shoulder with his eyes closed and his mouth slightly parted, breathing gently. Something stirred in me, watching him sleep. My stomach fluttered a little, and my heart picked up the pace. He looked so serene and vulnerable… and cute.

Should I go to bed and leave him here? Carry him to his bedroom? Wake him up?

I did none of those things because I was losing my goddamn mind. I removed the empty popcorn bowl from his lap and gently set it on the coffee table, careful not to wake him. Then, I grabbed the folded blanket from behind me, draping us both with it. I wrapped my arm around him and pulled him against me as I fell back to the side, laying my head on the armrest.

Aspen barely stirred as his fingers dug into my pec for a moment before sagging against me. I trailed my fingers along the smooth skin of his bare back and closed my eyes, trying not to question everything.