17. Chapter 17

When we reached my room, I pressed my hands to Cooper's broad chest and shoved him onto my bed. He fell back with his legs kicking up into the air before they settled down and fell off the edge. Cooper stared at me with his curious, stormy eyes to see what I had in store for him.

He scooted further up the bed and propped himself up on his elbows as I removed the tartan sash across my body and my boots. Next went my socks. Last, I unbuckled my kilt, letting it all drop to the floor around my ankles. His eyes widened and zeroed in on my swollen dick as I walked toward him.

"You want to play, do you?" I asked, teasing him as I started languidly pumping my cock.

"Yes." His voice was breathless, and he hadn't taken his eyes off my dick once. If I had doubts he didn't want me anymore, they quickly vanished when his eyes turned black.

I let go of myself, climbed into bed, and hovered over him. The heat emitting from his body was like a damn sauna, and his panting breath on my skin didn't help me cool down.

I reached for the tie holding his scrubs up, and tugged at it until it came loose. "The problem is that you're wearing too many clothes for playtime." I took hold of the waistband of his scrubs and underwear, pulling them both down and over his legs before tossing them to the floor. His cock was as hard as mine was, and the heat coming off from him was unreal. If I touched him, would I burn? I wanted to burn so very fucking much.

He rolled his eyes at my dirty talk, but I wasn't having it. Not tonight. Cooper had me completely stressed out all night, nearly ruining my evening, and he couldn't even tell me why. I wouldn't have believed him had he not looked thoroughly confused. Instead, I straddled him with our cocks touching and fisted his hair from behind before I inched my face closer to his, hovering my mouth over his without touching his lips. "We're doing this my way tonight."

He gave me a slight nod.

"Is that a yes, Coop? I want to hear you."

He swallowed, and his Adam's apple bobbed before he nodded. "Yes. Okay."

I laid on top of him, angling my body to reach over him, and dug in my nightstand drawer to pull out my bottle of lube. I intentionally squirmed my cock into his stomach, making him groan as his dick dug into my thigh. My body thrummed with electricity at the contact and hearing his sounds of need. I sat up and straddled him with his dick pulsing near the crack of my ass. I was going to have that gorgeous thing inside me one day. We weren't ready for that yet, though, especially Cooper.

I poured some lube into my hands, and then I gripped his weeping cock from underneath me and oiled him up. He hissed and arched his back, fisting my sheets. Once he was nice and wet, I lubed myself up.

"Ready?"

He lifted his head off the bed and cocked a brow. "What are you going to do?"

I smirked down at him. "You'll see. Are you going to trust me? Consent is hot, just so you know. If you"re uncomfortable for any reason, you'll tell me to stop, right?"

He nodded. "I'll tell you."

With one arm supporting me on the bed, I hovered over him again, lined up our dicks, and fisted them together. Fuck. My body shuddered all over at the sensation of his hard heat against mine, firing off all my nerves against his taut flesh.

"Holy fuck…" he ground out.

"You like that? You like my cock rubbing against yours?"

"Yes… God."

I know I did. This was a first for me, too, and the sensation was out of this fucking world. You couldn't do this with a woman. It wasn't just the novelty of the sensations, but feeling his smooth cock rubbing against mine, hitting all my sensitive points while my hand controlled the pressure. There was nothing like it.

I used my free arm to keep me steady as I lowered myself, thrusting in my hand and gliding across his oil-slicked dick. Fuck, I had wanted to do this since I first sucked him off, to feel another cock against my own, rubbing, gliding… coming. Especially his dick. Electrical currents vibrated through my entire body.

I glanced down at him as he looked up at me with round, dilated eyes. Shit, I needed to be closer. I needed more of him. Right then, I knew it would never be enough. I would want more and more of him. I was in fucking trouble with this one.

I rested my forehead against his, inhaling our mingled scents of alcohol, sweat, and body wash. We panted hot breath in each other's faces, and our bodies were blanketed by lust and arousal. My mouth was so close to his that it would take only an inch forward to press our lips together, but I held back, unsure of how he would react. He probably wouldn't be ready for that, if ever. We never discussed going beyond blow jobs. It had always been the plan to keep things simple, but how stupid of me to assume it would be. Sex was never simple.

And fuck, the noises coming from Cooper. I'd never heard them before. They were high-pitched almost, like a guttural whimper. He sounded hungry. Desperate for more. And I was right there with him as my heart raced and the pressure built through my nuts, cock, and spine. And hell, if I didn't want to suckle on that full bottom lip of his.

Instead of leaning down to kiss him, I nuzzled my nose against his scruff along his jaw, needing more of him. So much more. My body tingled everywhere, breaking out in goosebumps across my skin and I really needed to come, but I held back as much as I could, wanting him to come first.

And, god, I wanted to kiss him. It took everything I had to hold back because it seemed like the most natural thing in the world to do. Strange how much easier it was for me to suck him down or stroke each other than it was for kissing. It was intimate. Kissing meant something. Kissing was a promise for more.

Suddenly, before my brain processed what was happening, Cooper's hands tangled in my hair in tight fists, and he pulled my forehead back against his. He shuttered his eyes closed as I worked us harder and faster. I thrusted. He thrusted. His lips parted and swelled in his arousal. My hand grew tired, but damn, we were so close.

Then, his eyes popped open, and in seconds, I saw his eyes question everything—the world or the universe—before coming to some sort of decision. Tightening his grip on my hair, he pulled our mouths together, and for a heart-stopping moment, my world ceased to exist, drowning in Cooper's lips. I wasn't sure if I was still stroking us or not, as I got lost in devouring our mouths.

Hell fucking yeah!

This was exactly what I wanted. To experience his hot breath on my face, his scruff burning my skin, and his fingers digging into my scalp as he claimed me. He pulled me tighter against him, as if my lips weren't enough. I tilted my head, desperately needing his tongue, and as soon as I swiped my tongue across his lips and inserted it into his mouth, a sudden gush of hot cum coated my hand, and it wasn't mine. His body shuddered, and I swallowed his deep, guttural groan as he chased his climax.

Between our tongues waging war, using our entire bodies in the kiss, and him coming load after load, I quickly followed him, shooting all over my hand and his chest and abs, mingling with his cum. My body shuddered, and I whimpered into his mouth, not daring to part from him, needing to kiss him a bit longer before reality set in for him because I had no idea if things would change for us now.

We kissed a minute longer before I reluctantly pulled away, unsure if I should keep kissing him after we had finished, though he was the one who started it. I could see the awkwardness cloud over his face, but before he could say anything that would lead to disappointment for both of us, I distracted him by swirling my finger through our mixed cum on his stomach.

My finger scooped up a creamy blob of it and slipped it into my mouth, sucking it off as I smirked at him.

His eyes rounded, staring at my cum-coated lips. "Ohmyfuckinggod…"

"Tasty."

"Why do I find that so hot?"

"Because it is hot."

Would he do it, too? I had to see if he'd taste himself, so I leaned back down and kissed him again, thrusting my tongue into his mouth, but I quickly pulled away, not wanting him to get weirded out. "See? We taste good together."

He nodded in a sexual daze as I climbed off him and headed to my bathroom to find a washrag to clean us up. I washed up first, and came back into my bedroom, sat on my bed, and gently wiped his skin clean.

As much as I wanted to talk about the kiss, I also didn't want to read too much into it. Sometimes, those things happened during aroused moments, and it was only natural while having sex, though we'd refrained up until now.

"That was… by far the best hand job ever."

I chuckled and tossed the washrag into my hamper. "It's called frotting."

"You learn something new every day. Did you discover that from porn?"

"That I did. It looked hot, but I had no idea how good your dick against mine would feel."

"Right?"

I lay back in bed and casually tucked an arm under my head so as not to spook Cooper, who rolled onto his side, in no rush to leave. My body grew warm next to him, and it felt right with him in my bed. I'd really been enjoying our periodic sleepovers, though I struggled hard not to snuggle into him. Sometimes, I would wake up in the middle of the night pressed up against him like opposite ends of a magnet, but I would roll away from him in case he found it awkward or uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry about tonight," he finally said.

I shrugged. "It's cool."

"It's not cool. I was being a dick because…" He sighed, rolled onto his back like me, and stared at the ceiling. "You just looked like you were into that girl with the blue hair. She was really cute, too. I don't know. Something snapped in me. Like… I don't want to be done with you yet."

My stomach flipped in on itself, and my heart burst into hope. He did like me more. Good, now we could talk about this growing attraction between us and see if we could make new rules and boundaries. I rolled over to face him to tell him I felt the same, propping myself up on my elbow.

"I feel the—"

"But I can't, Asp. I'm not sure why I got jealous, but it was wrong of me. We aren't even a thing. This is only for fun, and I have to remember that. And I'm sorry I kissed you. It was a spur-of-the-moment thing."

Shit. My stomach dropped, and not in a good way, as the disappointment rolled through me, and it was tinged with a bit of sadness. People had high expectations of him, which left no room for boyfriends or bromances. I understood where he was coming from, but it still sucked.

I flipped over onto my back again, not wanting to look at him anymore, as my face started to burn. God, how stupid. I had come so close to telling him I wanted more. Perhaps he felt a twinge for me, but not enough to push him out of his comfort zone or to take a risk. I should've known, honestly, with the way he followed all the rules, doing everything his parents wanted and expected, never giving in to his dreams. How egotistical of me to assume that I was special enough to change anyone like that.

"Yeah, I understand. As I said, it's cool, Coop." I did my best to sound casual, but my heart wasn't too happy.

"You're not mad?"

"Nah, I'm not mad."

And how could I be? It wasn't his fault he didn't feel the same about me. Maybe he did, but not enough. It kind of stung, but whatever. I would just have to deal with it.

He turned his head to look at me with a smile on his face. "Thanks, Asp. I appreciate your understanding."

Despite his words and confirming our previous agreement still stood, he tucked himself under my comforter and dragged the backs of his fingers across my cheek before closing his eyes. The intimate touch left me confused and a little more needy than before. And definitely a little more disappointed.

Once again, I was a liar by not telling him my feelings. Instead, I clammed up tighter than… well, a clam. I had the perfect opportunity to be honest with him, but I didn't, knowing he would end things, and I was greedy for him and what little he offered me. God, I was a piece of shit.

No, Coop. I'm not ready to be done with you yet, either.