16. Chapter 16

It was Halloween, and it would be wild at work tonight. I wish I could take off and have fun with my friends, but I'd make way too much money to pass up. Besides, it was hard to take off on a money-making holiday like this.

I stood in front of my dresser mirror and took in my costume of a Scottish Highlander, minus the shirt. Basically, I wore a kilt, some boots, and a tartan sash across my bare chest. I used any excuse to wear as few clothes as possible. Plus, it was going to be hot, and this outfit would keep me cool. Even better, I loved it when people asked what I wore underneath, which was definitely nothing. I loved to tease them and have them guessing. The red plaid looked good with my coloring, and the costume looked authentic.

Cooper had plans to go out with his friends tonight, but earlier, I'd asked him to stop by the bar, and I hoped he did. We'd been getting each other off for a while now. It's been almost two months, and while we didn't do it all the time, we'd done it enough for me to want more. So much more. I found myself completely uninterested in finding a girlfriend now, not that I looked all that hard. Or at all. I was having too much fun with Cooper and exploring this new sexual side of myself, so much so that I wanted to experiment more. And I'd been itching like hell to kiss him and hold him.

My growing interest in him didn't bother me in the slightest. Only his rules held me back from pursuing him. He didn't want sex or for anyone to know. Did I want to date him? That was a question I'd been asking myself a lot lately. Cooper was fun, intelligent, athletic, kind, accepting, and gorgeous. He had everything going for him, and he had me completely attracted and drawn to him.

I'd said at the time that I didn't want a boyfriend, but now I second-guessed myself. I always believed that one day, I would know the person I wanted to have a relationship with, and it looked more and more like Cooper was that person. Unfortunately, he kept everything at blow jobs, not expanding anything between us. Then he had those worries that others would find out, which told me he would never want more. He had too much fear. But what if he did want more? Could I live a life in the closet? It wasn't on my list of lifetime achievements.

Any wishful thinking on my part or hoping we'd grow into more was moot. Being a secret while having fun was one thing, but being a secret while in a committed relationship was quite another and not something that interested me, no matter how much I liked them.

Granted, I was supposed to be up front and honest about my feelings, and now I went against every fiber of my being to stay silent in order to keep things going with him. It felt dishonest as hell, and I hated myself for it. I was being fucking selfish because I wanted more from him. Or anything I could get.

Fuck, maybe I needed to tell him my feelings were growing and see where he stood. Perhaps if I felt this way, he was, too. He didn't seem inclined to stop this thing between us, either, and he'd even let me stay the night with him a few times. I would see how tonight went and go from there because I needed to stop being dishonest with my feelings, and omitting the truth was dishonest.

My mood suddenly boosted, determined to bring everything to the light with Cooper later. For now, I needed to go to work. I smiled in the mirror and turned my back to stare at my booty in a kilt. Damn, I looked good.

Despite being Wednesday and a school night, the bar was hopping. Austin had all of 6th Street closed off, and it was packed with costumed humans. Between Halloween, ACL, and SXSW, I made a killing on those nights—enough money not only to pay my bills but also to put some aside for a rainy day. I wish we could play in our band, but honestly, I made more money as a bartender.

Nadia dressed up in a Viking warrior costume, and I wouldn't expect anything less from her. But we were both so busy manning the bar that we barely had time to talk to each other, let alone take a break. As predicted, I got asked a lot about what I had underneath my kilt. I would just wink at them and take their order to keep them guessing.

My friends showed up for a while and did some shots before moving on because they wanted to dance with their girlfriends, and I didn't have the time to chat with them, anyway.

As I passed two drinks to a customer, a girl dressed up as Jinx from that Arcane show came up to the bar to order drinks. She looked fucking hot with her long blue hair in braids, black leather halter top, and purple pants. Her makeup was perfect, too.

"What can I get you, Jinx."

She smiled broadly. "You know Jinx?"

"Uh, yeah. Who doesn't watch Arcane?"

"You'd be surprised how many times people asked me what my costume is. Anyway, what Halloween shot do you have?"

"We've got ‘ghost in the graveyard' with vodka and coffee liqueur. The dry ice makes it look spooky awesome! And we have ‘witches' brew' shots, which have raspberry liqueur, vodka, and lime juice with a sugary rim."

"Oh, the witches' brew one sounds good. I'll take four for me and my friends."

"You got it!"

I grabbed four shot glasses and quickly made the shots before handing them off. They all did them together before she came back to order herself a vodka and cranberry drink.

"I bet you've been asked a thousand times what you got under that kilt," she said as I poured cranberry juice into the mixer.

I winked. "Yep. All night. I mean, it's why I wore it."

She laughed and bit her cute bottom lip. "So, are you going to tell me if I ask?"

I squeezed a twist of lime in the glass, slid her finished drink across the bar to her, and then leaned in close to her. "I could show you, but then you'd want me."

She rolled her eyes and laughed as she bopped my nose with her finger with a long black nail. "You're a tease."

"I try my best, my dear Jinx."

She laughed and rolled her eyes again, but before either of us said anything else, something pulled my attention away from her. I couldn't explain the tugging, pulling force that sucked me in. When I looked up, my eyes instantly landed on Cooper. My reaction only confirmed our growing connection. My heart and breathing stopped for a second, seeing him dressed up as a sexy, dead doctor. He hadn't shown me earlier at the apartment, wanting to surprise me when he eventually showed up at the bar.

I loved how he painted the cut across his throat with all the blood dripping down. However, it wasn't his cool costume that had me swallowing the lump around my throat. He looked… irritated? Annoyed? He definitely wasn't smiling, and he narrowed his eyes at me, his brows slammed down low. I gave him a quick wave and a tentative smile, which he didn't reciprocate.

Okay, weird.

I slowly backed away from Jinx without taking my eyes off him until someone called out for some drinks, forcing me to sever our connection, and yet I couldn't stop thinking about him. What did I do wrong? Why did he seem so angry? Maybe it wasn't me at all, and he just had a bad night.

As the evening wore on, Cooper and his friends chatted and drank, talking to Longhorn fans. All the while, Cooper didn't once come to talk to me. And he definitely didn't seem like he had a rough night, judging by the laughing and smiling he did with his friends. If I had previously thought he had any growing feelings for me, I was sorely mistaken.

I didn't know what the hell was going on, but something told me our little deal was coming to an end. My gut twisted in disappointment. Not only was I enjoying my experimentation, but Cooper had really grown on me. I didn't want to find someone else to experiment with. Perhaps it was for the best, before things got too heavy. Regardless, I needed to know what I did to piss him off, so we could still be friends and badass roommates. No matter how much I wanted more of him, his friendship was too valuable.

After tending the bar for another hour, I got a lull between orders. I glanced up to where Cooper and his friends were, only to find them gone. I looked around the entire bar, but they were nowhere to be seen. They could've headed out back, but my gut told me they had left.

The long night had been exhausting and stressful as hell. When I returned home, my stomach turned when I saw his shiny blue truck in the parking lot. I didn't like this at all, and I didn't know what to do about it. Cooper was probably sleeping, so there wouldn't be any talking tonight, which was just as well since I needed sleep, if I could even sleep with all my worries.

Dammit! I thought he wanted us to communicate and be honest with each other.

Nice, Asp. You're a fucking hypocrite.

Did he somehow sense my growing attraction to him? Was he pissed that I hadn't talked to him about it after he noticed? Shit, that had to be it. I couldn't think of anything else.

With a deep breath, I turned off my car and headed into the apartment. When I came in, my heart leaped in my chest, seeing Cooper in the kitchen shirtless with his makeup already washed off, wearing only the scrub pants while drinking down a glass of water.

I set my keys down on the counter and approached him as I would a feral animal, not knowing what to expect.

"Hey," I said lamely.

"Hey," he replied, not looking at me.

Out with it, Asp. Rip off the bandage.

"Coop, did I do something wrong?"

"No," he said too quickly.

I hadn't realized how tense he was until his body deflated, but his words did nothing to calm my nerves. In fact, I doubted the truth of his response.

"What was wrong with you tonight?"

He poured another glass and chugged it down. I tried not to focus on his throat before he answered. "I don't know."

"Why did you look so pissed at me tonight?"

His entire body went rigid again, and he fisted his free hand. "I don't know, okay!"

"Okay. It's okay."

Without anything left to say, since he clearly didn't want to talk or didn't know what to say, I started to leave the kitchen to figure shit out. Hopefully, we would talk tomorrow. But as I walked out, he stopped me.

"Wait, Asp. I'm… sorry."

His tone turned softer, and while I still didn't know what the hell happened, my muscles unclenched.

My eyes suddenly popped out of my head, and my heart skipped a beat when he dropped to his knees in front of me and lifted my kilt, huffing a laugh. "I should've known you didn't wear anything underneath."

Before I could respond, he grabbed my dick and tugged on it. Fuck, he confused me tonight. One minute, he was cold and angry, and the next minute, he was hot for me. I instantly hardened by his touch and groaned, tossing my head back against the kitchen wall.

"Fuck…"

No.

We needed to stop this. Something was wrong. Suddenly, I came to my senses. "Stop, Coop."

He nuzzled his nose in my groin, and I wanted to give in to him more than anything, but this didn't feel right.

"Coop." I eased him away and dropped my kilt.

He huffed, but didn't stand or look up at me, staring at my feet. "What?"

"Are we okay?"

He glanced up between my legs and reached for my kilt to lift again. "Yeah, we're okay. Come on… let me in, Asp." He reached for my cock again and gave it a couple of pulls. Fuck, I liked him on his knees.

If he wanted to break his barriers, maybe he'd be up for something new, so I brushed his hand off my cock and lifted him to stand, but before he got too disappointed again, I grabbed his hand and tugged him to my room.

"Fine. Let's play."