35. CHAPTER 35

35

JULES

With trepidation, I go to Dima’s office to get this meeting over with. I have no idea what he’s gonna say, but I’m just gonna have to take whatever it is and move on. The one good thing about the brothers is that after they’ve said their piece, they move on and don’t hold it over you. Unless you fuck up again, but I get that.

I knock on the door twice before turning the handle and entering the office, noticing Dima isn’t alone. Holy shit, is that Ivan?

“Ivan? Fuck man, it’s good to see you. I thought you were getting in this weekend?” I say to Dima and Lev’s cousin, who stands and greets me with a brief hug. If I had to describe Ivan, it would be to say that he’s insane. Well he was, it’s been ten years since I last spoke to him, and I don’t know what he’s been doing during that time, but weights is clearly one thing, because the guy is a tank.

“Jules. Long time no see. Couldn’t wait to get started, so I thought I’d surprise the dickhead brothers.”

“It was hardly a surprise, you texted me with your flight details,” Dima says, rolling his eyes. They’ve always had a competitive banter, glad to see it hasn’t died.

“Yes but you were surprised by that text, so it still counts.”

“Why don’t you go and annoy Lev. I need to talk to fuckface,” Dima says.

“What a great idea. See ya both later,” Ivan says grinning, strolling out of the room like a beast.

“Sit,” Dima says, not wasting any time to get into it. I walk over and sit in the seat Ivan just vacated, and await my fate. Will this be aggressive Dima? Moody Dima or psycho Dima?

“What the fuck is going on with Kai? You vouched for him, Jules, and I gotta say, I ain’t impressed.” Aggressive Dima it is.

“I think we need to calm down. He knows he screwed up…” I say, but Dima interrupts me before I get to finish my sentence.

“And which fuck up are we talking about? The Aaron one? Or when he made a fool of himself and us with Carlos?”

“Give him a break, D. He’s new to all this. We said it’d take time.”

“You’re too emotionally involved with him. If you can’t separate you both fucking and what happens with work, then you can’t be together. I’ve never seen you this unfocused, Jules. Decisions need to be made.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Kai has to go.”

“What?”

“He’s too soft, Jules. He ain’t made for this life.”

“He just needs some time.”

“Stop fucking lying to yourself and to me. He’s not in the room. He’s a liability waiting to happen and you know it.”

“Seb isn’t made for it either and I don’t see anyone complaining.”

“True. But Seb stepped up when he needed to and doesn’t pass out at the sight of blood.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“I want you to admit you fucked up bringing him here, and that he needs to leave, and you need to open your eyes that you and him will never work.”

“You’re right, I do question if I should’ve brought him here, and yes, he’s too sweet in nature for this. It’s not like I knew this beforehand. I was trying to help him.”

“And you have, but if he can’t do the hard stuff, what use is he to us? You need to let him go. Jenny will never approve of you both, you know this.”

“Yeah, I know.” I hate admitting it out loud, but I know she’ll never accept us. It doesn’t change things, I’ll be more than willing to carry that burden for Kai. He’s worth it.

“But I’m not letting him go. For you or anyone.”

A thud outside and running footsteps interrupt our conversation as I get up and open the door to see the back of Kai running away. Oh shit, he was listening. I turn to D, who is now standing beside me.

“I’ll leave with him. He’s non-negotiable, D. Fuck you and Lev,” I say, before hightailing out of his office, chasing after Kai. I catch up to him just as he is about to run out the front door.

“Fuck, Kai, wait!”

I can’t believe he was spying. I know what it must have sounded like, but it’s not what he thinks. Yes, I do think he is too kind-hearted for this job, but I didn’t say I wanted to send him away on his own. I have every intention of going wherever he goes. Doesn’t he know by now that I will never let him go? What a mess. I may have ruined any hope of happiness I had with Kai. He may be tough on the outside, but Kai just wants to be loved and cherished, especially by me. I know I’ve ripped his heart out. I just fucking hope he believes me.

Running outside, I see Kai get into my damn car. A smirking Aaron tries to block me, making it obvious where he got my keys from. Just as Kai leaves the driveway, Seb pulls in on his bike, and without thought, I dash over to him, pushing him off the contraption.

“Hey, what the fuck do you think you're doing, Jules? I’ve just had it repaired!” Seb says as he pulls off his helmet.

“I need to get to Kai before he does something stupid. I promise I won't hurt your precious bike,” I say.

“Be careful with him, Jules. He’s been going through some shit, some self-doubt. Don't go barrelling in there, worsening it. He needs to feel wanted.”

What the hell is he talking about? Since when did they become best buddies?

“How the fuck do you know all this?”

“Because he talks to me. Look, you just need to listen to him, let him explain.”

What the hell is he not telling me? I haven’t got time to wait around listening to riddles, I need to get to Kai. I rev the engine and speed off after him with Seb’s words in the back of my mind.

Luckily, Kai is not too far ahead of me as I catch up with him, trying to wave him down. I've got no idea where he's going, as we travel further down a country road that leads to nothing in particular. Surrounded by trees and barren land, I race up beside him on the driver’s side, desperate to get his attention, but he just ignores me. It’s a challenge trying to balance the bike and look at Kai at the same time without falling off it, but I can tell instantly he's been crying, and it makes me want to hit something. But I'm also frustrated that he didn't wait long enough for me to explain. So fucking stubborn and reactive.

“Kai, pull over the fucking car!” I yell, slamming my fist on the driver’s window. All I get in response is his middle finger, which only enrages me more.

I wobble slightly on the bike as I try to keep up with him, as the terrain becomes rougher the further we travel. The road up ahead is a dead end, much to my relief, and forces me to pull back so that I'm behind the car. Kai will have nowhere to go.

Kai obviously hasn't noticed the sign when he slams the brakes on hard, drifting my car to the side as he tries to gain control. Everyone knows how much I adore my car, but at this moment in time, I couldn't give a shit if he wrecks it. I just wanna make sure he's okay. He doesn't move as I block off his exit with Seb’s bike. I slowly dismount it before walking over to him and the driver’s door, nearly yanking it off its hinges.

“Get out of the fucking car. Now Kai,” I growl at him before a rumble of thunder in the distance drowns out the silence. Rain starts to patter down slowly around us as the sky becomes darker. You would think my mood and the weather were connected, with how it represents what I feel right now. I want to yell at him, I want to comfort him, I want to fuck him. Jesus Christ, I want to own him fully.

“You don't tell me what to do, Jules. Do us both a favor and go back to the house and leave me alone.”

I slam my hand down on the roof of the car.

“I'm not going anywhere. You need to listen to me, Kai, what you heard back there wasn't what you thought. Now get out of the fucking car before I drag you out.”

If looks could kill, the glare that he’s throwing my way would do it right now. His eyes that are normally the innocent soft blue have been swollen up by his black pupils, and glower with fury like I've never seen before. I must say, it's pretty hot.

“Go fuck yourself, Uncle Jules.”

With both hands, I grab him by the top of his shirt and pull him out of the car. I drag him around to the hood while keeping a firm grip on him.

“Don't call me that, you little shit. I'm the farthest thing from your uncle.”

“That's not what you said back there. From what I heard, I'm nothing to you, nothing but a weak annoying nephew, an embarrassment,” he says harshly into my face. Our noses brush against each other, but not in a loving way, more in the way of who is fighting for dominance. A wrestler before a fight. The rain ramps up into a heavy shower, both of us wet beyond the point of caring, only focused on the primal showdown.

“I never once called you an embarrassment. You know how I feel about you, Kai. I wasn’t arguing with Dima because I want you gone, he was angry because I wouldn’t back down. If you’d stayed longer you would’ve heard me say I’d go with you. I’ve never thought you were weak, but this life isn’t for everyone and it’s my fault you’re in this position. I'm sorry if it hurt you, but you need to hear what I’m saying.”

“You've gutted me, Jules. How am I supposed to believe you? How do I know if it's me that's the one that's being lied to? To talk about me like that behind my back, again treating me like a kid. I thought we’d gotten somewhere.”

“I'm not lying, Kai. You're all I think about. You're all I want.”

“And what is it you want? Keeping all this a secret from Mom? For me to be a hassle to you? Always protecting me because I’m such a fuck up?”

“That's bullshit. You know I’ve wanted to tell your mom. You’re the one who wanted to wait. If I could brand you and claim you in front of the world, I would. You have to believe me, Kai, you were made for me and me alone.”

Kai pushes into me and places his mouth next to my ear, breaking me with what he says next.

“I don't believe you.”

Like an ignition, a key turns on in my heart, my body rumbling like a V-8 engine surging to life, full of need to show Kai who truly owns him and how much I need him. I grab his throat with my hand and squeeze as hard as I can. The rain makes it more difficult to get a full grasp on him, but I manage it.

“You better believe in the devil because he's about to claim you over the hood of this car, and no praying to God will save you.”

Before Kai gets a chance to respond, I latch my lips to his, brutally taking his mouth with mine, showing him the only way I know how, that I will never let him leave me without a fight.