36. CHAPTER 36

36

KAI

This mother fucking asshole. Thinks he can just kiss me and manipulate me with words he thinks I want to hear. Maybe he is telling the truth, but hearing him agree I was too soft was like a punch in the chest. I was expecting him to fight more for me. Maybe he did after I bolted, but I can’t keep up this charade. The lies and hiding and pretending to be someone I’m not is slowly destroying me. Jules was the only thing keeping me up, but now I only feel like he’s pulling me down. I want him so much that I’m scared I’ll stop breathing if I leave.

I push away from the kiss, my spine straightens, ready to fight my corner. It’s about time Kai became the aggressor in this story. Forming a fist, I curl my fingers tightly into my palm, focusing on that sexy face, he looks seconds away from lurching at me, but I’m quicker. I rotate my hips and shoulders as I extend my arm and land an almighty punch across his face. His head snaps to the side and he stumbles awkwardly, correcting his balance before peering at me with a mixture of shock and delight. I exhale sharply, getting ready for him to attack back. The last thing I expect is the large grin that forms. All teeth, with a sharp edge. I think I’m in trouble. Blood drips from his mouth that he rubs away with his thumb, the rain quickly washes it away before he approaches me again.

“You want a little rough play?” he growls, which is then followed by a loud crack of thunder. His eyes have lost all color and kindness. I wouldn’t be surprised if he morphed into a wolf right now.

“Fuck. You,” I snarl, pushing him in the chest, but he doesn’t move.

“Never gonna happen. Now, hit me again.”

He doesn’t have to ask me twice. Before I know it, my fist is curled again and I land another blow to his face, this time on his jaw. I shake my hand as it fucking hurts, punching iron. We’re so drenched right now, it’s not even funny. The adrenaline coursing through me stops any feeling of the cold winter air.

Jules was ready for my attack this time, because he quickly responds by slapping me hard across the face before pinning me against the car by the neck. The sting in my cheek hurts so bad. I’m a little taken aback that he hit me, but why not? I hit him. And I enjoyed it.

“What? Didn’t you say our blood, our pain? I think we both should suffer, don’t you?”

“I’m the only one suffering here. Don’t pretend you give a shit.”

With ease, Jules manhandles me by using his hold on my neck to walk me over to the hood of his car, and swings me around until I’m bent over it. The sick thing is? I want it. I want him to take me, to make it hurt. The physical hurt is the only thing that will override the pain in my heart.

Warm wet lips suck hard onto the back of my neck. I shout out into the rain when I feel his teeth dig into my skin.

“Gonna fuck you real good, Kai. I’m gonna claim you for good. All the animals out tonight will hear you as I take you apart.”

Fuck, his words have me shuddering beneath his weight as he pins me harder into the hood. I reach out my hands above my head trying to gain purchase onto something as he starts to yank down my pants and underwear. The cold air has my balls shrivelling up, but my hard dick loves the wet slide against the metal. I’m too disoriented to know what he’s doing, or how fast he is doing it. The rain, the car, the cold night and Jules going fully unhinged has my senses in disarray.

Rough hands part my ass cheeks, and a thick, slicked finger finds my hole, prepared with travel lube, the arrogant bastard. And without any warning or build up, he forces his way in as I rise to my tiptoes at the burning intrusion. I moan at the relief of having him back inside me, he massages my bundle of nerves so perfectly, my body responds to the pleasure by riding his fingers that have now turned into two inside me.

“You’re so hot inside. Look at my pretty whore, completely submitting to me as a perfect whore should. So shameless, Kai. So damn slutty,” he groans into my ear as a third finger joins in on the party. I’m a blubbering mess. I just want him to fuck me. To make me feel before I go back to hating him and leave this fucking place. Just like they all want.

“Jules, fuck me, please, fuck me hard. Fuck me until you leave an imprint of your dick inside me,” I ramble, nonsense leaves me from the overwhelming finger fuck he’s performing on me.

“Hell yeah.”

His fingers leave my body and a hard, wet cockhead is replaced at my entrance. I clench just as he pushes forward, wanting it so bad that my ass is excited. Steadily, his cock glides into me, returning to where it belongs, and the fullness just fills me with elation. A euphoric feeling of ownership. The ownership that’s a lie. He doesn’t want me here.

Jules shows no mercy on me, and fucks me like I asked. Hard, unforgiving and fast. The hard, thick flesh no doubt will leave an imprint on me, and I welcome it. The car creaks beneath us as the rain starts to lighten, turning into drizzle as the sounds of our fucking are the new soundtrack on this back road.

“Harder, do it harder!” I shout. Long groans are the only noise I can make as he somehow manages to ramp up the speed. My ass is gonna be sore but I don’t care. Jules can fuck me to death for all I care, if it’s him doing it, I’ll allow it.

“Fuck, Kai, shit, you’re so tight around me. I’m gonna fill you up,” Jules moans as a warmth fills me on the inside. His cum doesn’t stop as it spurts from him in long streams. As he comes, toward the end of his orgasm, he reaches around and grabs my dick, jerking it with great speed and determination. I’ve been on the edge so long it only takes a handful of strokes before I erupt on a shout, all over the hood of his car. The love of his life.

Jules keeps his body covering mine, making it hard to breathe beneath him.

“You need to believe me, Kai. We’ll leave here together, or stay here together. There is no separating. We’re joined together forever. Believe me or not, it still doesn’t change that you’re mine for eternity.”

I’m on the verge of crying again and it pisses me off. These words this morning would’ve had me smiling at Jules like he hung the moon. Now it just makes me feel as pitiful as Dima described. I am too emotional. I’m too human. I don’t think I possess whatever it is you need to be in the Kozlov family, or even with Jules. I have to look out for myself. But for now, I do the one thing that I have been taught well. I lie.

“You’re right. Can we get back to the house now? I’m freezing and dying to get clean and warm,” I say, hoping he’s convinced by my acting.

“Yeah. Come on. You take my car and I’ll meet you back at the house.”

Jules pulls away from me and we straighten ourselves out in silence. After I’ve made myself look decent, I turn to see Jules watching me. Searching my face, for what I don’t know.

“Don’t ever lie to me, Kai.”

Fucking hell. Let’s try this again.

“I’m not lying, Jules. I’m cold and tired. Plus I’m allowed to still be upset.”

“Fair enough. Let’s get out of here.”

Jules walks over to Seb’s bike and waits for me to drive ahead of him. I watch him in the rearview mirror and say my goodbyes. It’s better this way.

When we arrive back at the Kozlov’s, Simon is the first to greet us as we both pull up, stomping out of the house like he’s on a mission.

“Where the hell have you two been? And what the fuck happened to your face?”

I look at Jules, refusing to answer. I want no part of this. Tired of being on the receiving end of a verbal bashing.

“Out. Had a fight. Now we’re back. What’s got your panties in a twist?” Jules says, not helping Simon’s mood in a positive way at all.

“I’ve had Lev calling me, breathing down my neck wanting us to head over to the club.”

“Where’s D?”

“In a meeting. Can we go? Lev won’t be getting any happier.”

“Alright, you need to chill. Kai, will you be okay here?” Jules asks. After everything that’s happened today, he has the nerve to ask me that?

“You tell me.”

“Stop brooding, I’m only asking. I know you’ll be fine. Come on Si, before you piss yourself.”

Jules takes his car keys from my hand and clutches my jaw so tightly, the ache radiates to my ears.

“Don’t doubt me, Kai. I meant what I said earlier.” He then leans in and sucks my lower lip into his mouth. I can’t control the groan when he bites down hard before sweeping his tongue over the area. What’s wrong with me? Every hurt he has marked on my body rejuvenates my soul. It’s not normal.

Just like that, he walks away with Simon, leaving me stranded in a dark place of concussion and fear. Confused with how I feel and with the wants he brings out in me, and fearful of how I’ll keep living without him.

“Oh good. He hasn’t totalled my bike,” Seb says as he struts over to his bike, giving it a once over.

“He didn’t go far.”

“Come and have a drink with me, Kai. You look like you could use it.”

I’m about to decline, but decide against it. Maybe Seb can help clear things up for me. The guy has been pretty great to me since I arrived. I follow him into the house, and veer off to the kitchen, the hub of this home. I love this space, I could see myself quite happily preparing many meals in here.

“You want a beer? Water? Coffee?”

“I best stick to water, thanks.”

Seb grabs two waters from the fridge and we sit at the table, both quiet as we take a couple of sips.

“What’s going on, Kai? Why’d you run off like that?”

“I was listening in on a conversation between Jules and Dima. They think I’m weak. Well, Dima was telling Jules how weak I was and how he should end things with me, and Jules didn’t disagree. Said that he shouldn’t have brought me here.”

“I can see why that would hurt. Ignore Dima though. He’s a bastard.”

I laugh at that. Seb and Dima’s relationship is less co-dependent than Aaron and Lev’s. Dima is the only crazy one in his relationship and Seb has no issue standing up to him. They’re certainly entertaining.

“Yeah, it hurt. But now I feel misplaced again. He said I only picked up on some of the conversation, that he told Dima he would leave with me.”

“But you don’t believe him.”

“Honestly, I don’t know.”

“Jules is a straight shooter, Kai. He wouldn’t say anything just to appease you.”

“It’s not just that. I can’t stay here knowing what people truly think about me. It’s embarrassing. Nobody wants to be known as the weak link.”

“Not everybody thinks that.”

“Dima does, which means everyone else probably does too.”

“Ha! You’d be wise to notice that nobody here agrees with a lot of what D says.”

“Maybe.”

“What are you gonna do?”

I shrug, avoiding the question as I’m sure I know the answer. I just don’t want him running to tell Jules.

“Be careful, Kai. Don’t do anything rash.”

Seb is such a good guy. I’ll miss our little chats.

“I won’t. I promise.”

Lie, lie, lie.