34. CHAPTER 34

34

KAI

Sitting on the edge of my bed, I stare at my phone, my mom’s contact details taunting me, daring me to just call her. I can do this. I press the call button and hold the phone to my ear, waiting for her to answer. As the rings continue, I can hear my heartbeat that’s thumping in my ear. Slow breaths, Kai.

“Kai?” she answers. Her voice lilts to a higher tone of happiness. I’m such a piece of shit for not calling.

“Hey Mom. Sorry I haven’t called. It’s just been hectic here,” I say, forcing a chirpiness to my voice to hide the worry that plagues me of how she’ll react to everything that’s happened.

“That’s okay. Jules mentioned that you’ve been working hard. So, tell me everything? How’s the job? Are you happy?”

I smile at her eagerness to know that I’m doing better, that I’m on the straight and narrow. If only she knew my bosses ran a drug cartel and have a holding pen that they love to torture and kill in. Not to mention her step brother is fucking me. Fuck, I feel sick.

“Not a lot to tell. I do some security work and have been helping with the business, you know, doing the books and learning more about how they run. I’m enjoying it,” I say. Liar, liar, pants on fucking fire.

“That’s amazing, Kai. I’m so relieved, honey. Doing honest work and standing on your own feet is the best thing for you. I’m so proud of you.”

Okay, not enjoying the guilt. I want to slap myself. Hard. But as Jules said, what she doesn’t know, won’t hurt her. Only, it will fucking hurt when she find out the truth, which she will. It’s not like we can keep this a secret for years on end. She’s bound to want to visit. Oh shit…what if she wants to visit? The pressure’s too much. We need to tell her, even if it’s just about us. If there is an us.

“Kai, are you still there?”

“Yeah, sorry, bad signal. Enough about me, how is it back home? You good?”

“I can’t complain. Working and breathing as usual. Tim has been spending a lot of time here too, it’s been quiet without you.”

“Good. I’m glad you’re not lonely, Mom. He’s a decent guy.”

“He’s a friend.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Cheeky. Anyway, when are you paying your mom a visit? This is the longest I’ve gone without seeing my boy.”

And there we have it. Problem number three. I’m not sure I can go home after the threat from Zac. I’m still of two minds about whether they meant it or not, as I haven’t heard anything more from them. Can I risk it?

“I’ll try and see what time off I can get from the bosses, and I’ll let you know.”

“Listen to you all grown up and a working man. I understand if you’re busy, honey, you’ve just started there, but it would be great to see you, even for a few hours.”

“I promise to sort something out. Look, I’ve gotta go now but I’ll text you next week.”

“Okay, love you Kai.”

“You too, Mom,” I say before ending the call.

I did it. Somehow I managed to lie well enough that it didn’t raise any suspicion. Guess I am learning here.

I continue to hang around the house, washing my clothes and tidying up. I try to repair the broken lock on my bedroom door to no avail. Jules should really repair it, considering he broke it. Speaking of Jules, it’s been a couple of hours and he hasn’t come back to the house yet. I decide to head over to the main house to see what the plan is for the rest of the day.

The kitchen is quiet as I walk in, so I walk further into the house as there is normally someone milling around. As I turn the corner out of the kitchen, I walk into something similar to a brick wall, or should I say someone?

“Sorry, didn’t see you there. Which one are you?” the mysterious hot man says to me.

“Who the hell are you and what are you doing in this house?” I demand as I move back from the beast standing in front of me. Am I in a dream? He’s fucking beautiful. He’s so tall, and I’m six foot one. His muscles appear to be made from rock, because it had hurt bumping into him. He has beautiful golden skin, deep and warm brown eyes, a closely shaved beard like Dima’s and hair as black as the night, currently tied up in a man bun. He grins at me and pokes his tongue out to lick his upper lip. God, is that a tongue piercing?

“You finished checking me out?”

“What! I wasn’t checking you out. I was trying to remember if we’ve met before, as you still haven’t explained who you are.”

He chuckles and does an unashamed once over of my body.

“I’m Ivan, Dima and Lev’s cousin. Didn’t they mention me?”

Ahhh now that makes sense. I can see the similarities, especially with Dima. He’s definitely the largest of the three.

“They did, but I thought you were arriving on the weekend,” I say, relaxing a little more into the casual conversation now that I know he’s not an intruder.

“Managed to get a flight a few days early, wanted to get here and settled. So, which one are you?”

“I’m Kai.”

“Nice to meet you, Kai.”

“He’s also Jules’s man, so I’d keep away,” Lev says as he strides into the hallway.

“Really. That’s a shame.”

Heat blooms on my face and neck, this guy is off the charts sexy and intense. But he has nothing on my Jules. My Jules? Christ, I’m becoming a sappy bastard.

“Come on Ivan, I’ll take you over to the club to get you up to speed.”

“I’m down. Catch you later, cutie,” Ivan says, and winks at me as he leaves with Lev. I’ve regressed to a teenager who blushes at any form of flirting. This is just great.

“I’d shut down the blushing, Kai. Jules won’t like it with another guy. Trust me,” Lev says as he follows Ivan out of the house.

Jules has no worries as it’s not Ivan or anyone else I want. I’m just not used to this openly obscene flirting that goes on here. What’s another guy to add to the group of crazy? If anyone has to worry it’s Lev, as Aaron will love to wind Lev up by showing Ivan attention.

I turn and start walking towards Dima’s office to see if that’s where Jules is. I know Dima will go hard on him because of me and I wish there was something I could say or do to make the situation better. Maybe some desensitizing therapy would work? Force myself to watch lots of torture and graphic movies to help with whatever it is that causes me to be on the verge of throwing up. Or to find a way to put myself into shock like the first time, as I don’t even remember much of that interrogation.

As I approach Dima’s closed office door, I can hear a raised voice that I’m sure is Dima. I should leave and just wait for Jules to finish. But because I’m too damn curious for my own good, I put my ear closer to the door and instantly regret it.

“He’s too soft, Jules. He ain’t made for this life.”

“He just needs some time.”

“Stop fucking lying to yourself and to me. He’s not in the room. He’s a liability waiting to happen and you know it.”

“Seb isn’t made for it either and I don’t see anyone complaining.”

“True. But Seb stepped up when he needed to and doesn’t pass out at the sight of blood.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“I want you to admit you fucked up bringing him here, and that he needs to leave, and you need to open your eyes that you and him will never work.”

“You’re right, I do question if I should’ve brought him here, and yes, he is too sweet in nature for this. It’s not like I knew this beforehand. I was trying to help him.”

“And you have, but if he can’t do the hard stuff, what use is he to us? You need to let him go. Jenny will never approve of you both, you know this.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Not able to hear anymore, I stumble back and stare at the door as if I can see through it. Devastation momentarily pins me to the spot. He doesn't want me here, he just said it so clearly that he doesn't want me here, he thinks me coming here was a mistake. What the fuck am I doing? My eyes begin to fill with tears. I really thought he wanted this as much as I did. And to hear him talk so carelessly about me…it fucking hurts. Spinning on my heel, I dash out of the corridor and bump into Aaron in the hallway, who hands me a set of keys. Jules’s keys. Aaron is like a sleuth in the house, he knows everything that’s going on, as he’s so quiet when he moves from room to room.

“Take these and go clear your head,” Aaron says, before giving me a small smile as I jog outside to get into Jules's car. As I approach the car, movement behind me has me quickly turn to see Jules running out towards me, shouting my name. Concern is written all over his face. Aaron tries to block his way as I get into the car, but his attempt proves pointless as Jules manages to dodge him, but he isn't quick enough to catch me. The engine comes to life, and I put my foot down and speed out of the driveway with no fucking idea of where I'm going. As soon as I pass the gates, I allow the tidal wave of tears to drench my face, letting myself drown in my broken heart, the weakness he sees in me open for everyone to see. At home I was too much trouble, an annoyance, and here it’s no different, only I’m seen in a different light. I’m too soft, weak. Still a fucking failure.

As I whiz down the back roads, Na Na Na by Chemical Romance plays on the music station, drowning out all reality. The only thing I know right now is that I need to escape him.

However, that plan goes out of the window, as in typical Kai luck, I spot headlights in my rear view mirror, gaining on me. Fuck this. I speed up, silently praying there may be a cliff at the end of this road so it’ll all just end. Then the loneliness and struggle for life will be gone.