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18. CHAPTER 18

18

JULES

I’m anxious to get back home to Kai. To make sure he’s okay. Well, I know he’s okay, otherwise I’d have been told, but I need my eyes on him. Today quickly shifted to total chaos after Aaron was taken. Luckily we got to him in time before his brother Jake did the unthinkable to him, but that doesn’t diminish what Aaron has gone through. I know I call him weird, but he’s a cool guy, and to see him bundled up in Lev’s arms in such a vulnerable way, it made me think of Kai and how he’s dealing with this, especially as he was on Aaron’s watch.

Everyone is back at the house, but since Simon and I are keeping watch over Jake and his accomplice Tommy in the holding pen, I haven’t had the chance to go see Kai, who I hope is sleeping. I shouldn’t worry so much, I know he’s made of strong stuff. But today was a lot, and I know the brothers will want him in on the action tomorrow, and I’m concerned how he’ll handle it. Lev and Dima take things pretty far in most interrogations, but considering this is Aaron, I’m positive Lev will go into supreme psycho mode, because whether he wants to shout it out to the world or not, Aaron is his man. A man he’d kill the world for. Which would be romantic if it wasn’t so screwed up. But who am I to talk? I’d do the same for Kai. I don’t know how I got here with these enormous emotions that he stirs in me, but I can’t hold back. I subconsciously claimed him the day I collected him from the police station. My inner beast decided he was ours. I sound as crazy as Lev.

“Fuck, this is boring. Why didn’t they just kill the fuckers when we got back?” Simon says, leaning against the wall beside the locked door that leads down to the holding pen.

“You know why. Lev wants Aaron to decide what to do, and he wasn’t in the right state of mind when they got back.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m just bitching. Tired as fuck.”

“Same. We can rest after it’s done.”

“You seen Kai?”

“No. Dima wanted me here when we got back. Seb said he went back to the house to get some sleep.”

“Well, nothing like being thrown in at the deep end. I hope he ain’t squeamish, because you know Lev is going to go to town with them.”

“He’ll be fine,” I say, hoping the confidence of that declaration will be true.

Hours pass as sunlight rises. Simon and I traded off having one-hour catnaps during the night, which I’m sure has me feeling more shitty than if I’d just stayed up the entire night. My mind hasn’t switched off from Kai. It’s been torture having to remain here while he’s only out back. I would feel better if there were cameras in the house so I could at least have eyes on him. And a tracker. It would help me relax a little. Did I mention I’m turning into a controlling and possessive asshole?

I’m mid stretching to get the kinks out of my back, when Seb comes into sight, as he walks down the corridor carrying what looks like two cups of coffee, exactly what I need right now. I nudge Simon as Seb approaches and hands the cups to us.

“Thought you boys would need this,” Seb says.

“You read my mind. Thanks,” I say, grabbing my cup with both hands, nearly burning my tongue with how fast I gulp down the sweet caffeine.

“You know when they’re coming down?” Simon says, before gulping his own drink down.

“Yeah, Lev and Aaron are on their way with D.”

“You not staying?” I ask Seb, which earns me a flat expression. I knew he wouldn’t, but it’s fun to rile him up.

“No thanks. I’ve got shit to do while you all play. Have fun,” Seb says as he turns and leaves.

Half an hour later, most of us are gathered in the holding pen where Jake and Tommy are tied up, awaiting their grizzly fate. I’ve seen Lev at his most crazy, but it’s nothing on this. With Aaron by his side, Lev is unrecognizable. The hunger for pain and blood emanating off him so strongly, I swear I can taste the metallic flavor on my tongue.

As things are about to get started, I wonder where Kai is, only for him to walk through the heavy door into the pen as if summoned by my thoughts. My eyes immediately fly to the bruise on his jaw, my body moving before I can do anything to stop it, as if tethered to him by a thread. I hold his face in my palms. Kai refuses to look at me. The meek boy ever present on the surface, flitty and unsure. I thought he didn’t get hurt.

“What the fuck happened?” I ask Kai. Instead, Lev responds.

“I did it. He was supposed to watch Aaron and didn’t notice he’d been taken by these pricks,” he says, eyebrows raised, daring me to question him. I know it’s written all over my face. How dare he touch Kai, how much I want to punch Lev for touching what’s mine. Lev has always been able to read me like a book.

“Careful Jules, remember you recommended him, and if you have a problem with how I deal with my men, you’re more than welcome to sit down between these two,” he says, pointing between Jake and Tommy.

Not wanting to add any more fuel to the fire that’s already at explosive levels in this room, I mutter a half assed ‘sorry’ before averting my attention back to Kai.

“What are you doing down here?” I say to Kai, not convinced he should be a part of this.

But you made him a part of it when you dragged him here.

“I fucking told him to come down here, now if you’ve both finished your daily catch up and questioning your boss, it’s time to move this shit along,” Lev says, and I know this isn’t over.

“Kai, you get over here now,” Lev orders.

“You stand here and observe, when I ask you to do something, you do it. Understand?”

“Yes, I understand,” Kai says, his voice dull and monotone, so unknown to me. Have we broken him? Will Kai want to leave and never look back?

The morning drags on, blood is spilled and secrets shed. I also learned today that Aaron has a violence kink, which in a way doesn’t surprise me. Lev and Aaron are in their own little world when Lev orders us all to leave so he and Aaron can deal with Jake together. Fuck knows what they’re gonna do to him, but I wouldn’t want to be him right now.

I stand outside the holding pen door with Kai, trying to gauge where his head is at. He still refuses to look at me.

“Kai, talk to me.”

“There’s nothing to say. I fucked up and Aaron nearly died.”

“It was a mistake. It wasn’t your fault.”

“It doesn’t matter what you think, Lev blames me and I blame me, too.”

“Bullshit. Lev should never have given you that responsibility, it was too soon.”

Finally, Kai looks at me but not in the way I crave. I want those eyes to be full of adoration and the need to be with me, not the venom that is fully aimed my way.

“Save it. I don’t need the ‘I told you so’ speech. We all know you are right and everyone else is wrong. Perfect Jules. The fucking saint who kills and tortures.”

“I never claimed to be a saint, and I certainly am not going to mother you through this. It happened and you need to stop projecting that shit onto me.”

“Whatever.”

Kai rolls his eyes like a grumpy teenager, forcing the controlling asshole inside me to break free. I grab him by the shirt collar and pull him close to me.

“I’m losing patience, Kai. Maybe you need to be toughened up.”

“Let me guess, you’ll be the one to do it?”

“I sure as shit ain’t letting anyone else touch you. I think a little sparring session will sort your attitude out.”

“What? You wanna spar me?”

“Yep. Tonight when things have calmed down, we’re heading to the gym and you will sweat this out.”

During this little chat, I fail to notice that our lips are almost touching. Kai’s body is vibrating under my touch and it thrills me to the core. He loves the authority, the push and pull, and fuck do I love it too. My dick gets hard even thinking about grappling with him later.

“You gonna hurt me, Jules?” he whispers, so faintly that I nearly miss it. His eyes are heavy, his breathing deep and rapid. That delicious pink tongue pokes out to moisten his lower lip.

“Yeah. I think I am. And you’ll fucking love it. The pain. The blood.”

“I think you mean our pain, our blood. I won’t go easy on you, either.”

“You better not.”

I’m so fucking tempted to take those lips with mine right now, but the moment is disturbed by a loud bang of the door behind us where Lev appears with Aaron. They look like they’ve taken a bath in blood. Great. Clean up will be a blast.

“You can start clean up, we’re done for the day. But Jules, tomorrow we’re going to talk about your little outburst earlier,” Lev says, which I expected.

“I figured,” I say, just as they both walk away, an air of contentment emitting off them both, which resets the previously filled tension in the house to a more peaceful state.

“You go get yourself something to eat. Me and Simon need to get started on clean up.”

Without responding, Kai just nods, and I watch him slowly walk away down the hall, admiring his perfect bubble butt, hoping I get a chance to squeeze the life out of it later.

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