19. CHAPTER 19

19

KAI

I'm on the verge of a breakdown. The past twenty-four hours have been a whirlwind of emotions, stuck between running away where no one can find me, drowning in a never-ending sea of guilt, wondering about all the ‘what ifs’ had they not found Aaron in time. Being in the holding pen earlier today was not at all like I expected. I was numb. Maybe from shock, or maybe I was too afraid not to follow through, but it didn’t upset me or even disgust me. The problem is that I don’t know who I am anymore. Leaving home, I had hopes that my life would become clear, and I would have direction. But the opposite has happened. The years of pretending to be someone I’m not, the mask I wore in my everyday life has been shredded here, and it scares me. Do I even have a choice now? If I wanted to pack my bags and leave, would the brothers allow it? That’s not even including the mindfuck that is Jules. His harshness is my undoing and yet another thing I didn’t know about myself. I like his edge, his threatening controlling manner. At least I feel something real when I’m around him. But whether that's a healthy emotion or not, I think I need to revisit that on a day where the rest of the shit in my head is sorted out.

Grabbing my gym gear, I undress out of my pants and shirt, and put on my basketball shorts and a tank top. Nerves and excitement war with each other over this little sparring session Jules has planned for me. Maybe it will help. Just as I begin to tie my laces, a knock on my door has me looking up to see Jules entering the room. Fuck me. Why didn’t I think about this more? He’s wearing the same clothing as me, and Christ does he look sexy. I know I’m staring. I have no idea if he’s spoken or not as I can’t stop fixating on that massive solid chest. Since when did Jules have tattoos? Across his pecs he has some kind of tribal pattern that pokes out from behind his tank top. I want to rip it off so I can see the full thing. Trace it with my tongue.

“Kai, did you hear me?”

I really have to try hard to force my eyes higher to his face, but I manage it.

“What?”

“I said, are you ready to go?”

“Yeah. Can’t wait to kick your ass.”

A deep rumble leaves Jule’s throat. All dirty and full of innuendo. I would blush if I wasn’t so damn eager.

“It’s me that does the ass kicking. As you’re about to find out.”

My cock is thrilled by the idea, but I tame him best as I can since the material on these shorts hide fuck all.

“I think you’re all mouth.”

“And I think you’re stalling. Come on.”

I follow Jules out of the room as we head toward the main house. He’s certainly taking my mind off all that’s happened and I‘m grateful for the reprieve. Even if it’s just for an hour.

Lev and Dima’s gym is pretty sweet. They have the standard set up with weights in one section of the open-plan area, then on the other side of the room are two punch bags that hang from the ceiling in the corner. In the center of the room, a dim glow from the lights casts a warm hue over the mats that cover the floor.

Since I've been here, I've used these facilities many times. But never when I've been in here has it felt so oppressive. And I mean so oppressive that you could take a bite out of the thick tension in the air. The fact that we’re not speaking adds to that tension. Call me crazy, but things are about to change. I can feel the seismic shift between us. For days it's been building and I don't think either of us can hold back any longer. I know without a shadow of doubt, if Jules touches me, I won't be able to pull away.

Jules removes his tank top, sneakers, and socks, and stands in the middle of the mats. Obviously I have to take a moment to peruse that fucking masterpiece of a body. I don’t question the lack of clothing and I remove the same things. Jules’s eyes scan my chest and abs, he licks his lips like I’m a main course he wants to dine on, and fuck do I want that. Slowly I approach him until we are a foot apart. Jules’s chest rises and falls with the same anticipation that is rushing through my own body. He takes a step back, his muscular frame flexing, ready to start.

“Ready?” he says, voice low, a mix of primal and arrogance.

“Bring it,” I say, unable to hold back the smirk on my face.

We tussle for what feels like hours. Grabbing, pushing, grappling until one of us lands on the ground. We don’t speak. We don’t keep score. This unspoken conversation between us is the most erotic foreplay I’ve ever been part of. My limbs are sore, I’m hot all over from the exertion, sweat drips from every pore of our bodies. But I know we’re reaching the peak of this fight. I like the hurt his touch gives me, the tenderness of the bruises that I know will develop by morning. I want his hands to hurt me, his inflicted pain on my body followed by the sweetest touches as he makes me fall apart. I want him to adore me. To love me. To ruin me.

“One more round?” he says, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand as he stands in an attack position. I can’t put into words how excited I am.

“I’m ready to knock you on your ass.”

We lunge at each other, our bodies collide with a thud. Grunting and panting. I grip Jules’s shoulders, my muscles straining as I try to push him back. But it’s no use, Jules is a powerhouse, and with one swift, practiced move, he twists me into a bear hug, forcing our torsos to press tightly together. I can feel the heat radiating off his body, our breaths mingling as we both struggle for dominance. The friction between our bodies is intoxicating, each movement sending a jolt of electricity through my veins. Jules’s hand slips lower, fingers digging into my lower back, pulling me closer, the proximity now igniting a fire that has spread from my very core.

With a sudden burst of strength, I twist free, spinning myself behind Jules and locking my arms around his waist. I rejoice in the feel of his solid muscles of his abdomen as they contract under my hands, the scent of sweat pungent in the air, as the raw, animalistic intensity of our sparring has us both vibrating with need.

Jules bucks, trying to dislodge himself, our bodies move in a heated dance of power and resistance. He arches his back, pressing against me, creating the most unbearable but delicious pressure against my rock hard cock. Our breaths turn into gasps as the potency of the struggle escalates with each second that passes.

In a sudden rapid move, Jules spins around, our faces nearly touching, his eyes dilated with desire. My pulse races at the tantalizing closeness of his lips with mine. He clutches my hips, pulling me flush against him, sliding together in the most sensual way. I hold onto his shoulders, my fingers digging into the firm muscle as I lean in. Lips so close. The air is charged around us, every inch of my skin is tingling with anticipation of finally breaking the tension that has crackled like a live wire between us.

Then, Jules charges forward, pushing me down onto the mats, his large body pinning me in place. My breath catches in my throat as his weight settles over me, our eyes locked, communicating that this moment holds a promise of more. Something beyond just the physical.

I gently move my hands over his chest, feeling the steady thump of his heart under those solid contours of his body. The climate in the room becomes scorching, searing me like a brand, knowing I will remember this moment for the rest of my life. Jules’s face comes closer to mine as my fingers tighten on his skin in a silent plea for more, for the inevitable culmination of the fire that has been building between us.

Jules’s lips curve into a knowing smile, reading every thought as clear as day on my face.

“You’re mine now,” he murmurs, in a low timbre that sends a shiver down my spine.

With a breathless whisper, I surrender to him.

“Prove it.”

In a blink of an eye, Jules claims my lips in a kiss that is as fierce as our sparring, a cocktail of all the emotions that have been simmering beneath the surface for weeks. Our bodies meld together, a tangle of limbs and sweat, both lost in the devastating sexual connection that has been ignited between us. The intensity of our kiss builds as the world around us fades away, leaving only the heat of our bodies, the sound of our breaths, and the alluring pull of our desire. Nothing else matters right now, only the undeniable, drunken passion that has overtaken us.