Chapter 34

ATOX

It’s possible I’ve been rash in my decision to attack the human colony. Never more have I questioned myself than when my mate twists her torso to face me on my gorja.

“You can’t,” she says, the shock on her face clear. I can feel her horror, and it doesn’t sit well with me.

“I can, and I must. If we let the humans double cross us, then we will be the target of every other species on Kovos. And there will be dissent within my people.”

“There are innocents there. My family is still there. My sisters?—”

“My warriors will not harm females.”

“But they’ll take them, won’t they? Kidnap them.”

“We will only take what belongs to us. Five females.”

“They don’t belong to you, or anyone. You have to understand, Atox. We left Earth to be free of the Coalition. And now you’re threatening to enslave these women. If you have a grievance with Council for breaking the agreement, then punish them, not the women…Or me.”

Her words strike like a hot knife to my middle. I have been unleashing my frustration on her. She deserves better from me. I must find a way to show her I value her and who she is, including her insights, while shielding myself from her softer human ways.

“Do you feel punished, Paloma?”

She takes my hand and wraps it around her mid-section, as if she’s trying to tell me something. A reminder that she is mine? But will she remain mine if I destroy the human colony or even if some or all of the males there die?

“Your sisters and the other human females will not be harmed,” I reassure her. It is the best I can do while still protecting my people… protecting her. “If you convince the sister in the market to come with us, then my warriors will take one less female by force.”

She thrusts my hand away. “We’re not cattle.”

I’m desperate to wrap my arms around her, but that will not mend this growing rift between us. “It is the only way. We need females.”

Paloma falls silent for the remainder of the journey to Pen’Kesh. I give her time to reflect, to realize her loyalty is with me now, not her former colony.

When we reach Pen’Kesh, Sojek takes my gorja and I lead my female to the human quarter. Before we enter their sector, I guide her under the shade of a tree. She’s pale and doesn’t look well. The ride here was tense, and the air has a chill to it, souring both of our moods, but I cannot allow this rift between us to continue. She is my female, my graka. She must appear as one with me.

“You are orc now, Paloma.”

“I don’t know what I am,” she says, sounding lost.

I grip her face in my hands so she sees I mean what I say. “You are orc, and my mate. Graka.” I have not used the term before with her, but I’ve heard others call her by her title. She understands the title and our need for females.

“I won’t be a part of you kidnapping women.”

“Then give me another option.”

Her eyes widen, as if she didn’t expect me to ask her counsel. I’ve heard everything my female has said, and I agree with much of it, but my warriors grow restless. Without the hope of having females in their furs and the chance of younglings to train, they will go out and find females on their own. Like Ryko did. And relations between the five species on Kovos is not as stable as my female and others believe. The cendagi have created an imbalance that will lead to war in time. I need to secure women sooner rather than later.

“None of my warriors will force them to mate. I’ve already forbidden it. Any male who defies me will be dealt with. Harshly.”

“The women will be prisoners.”

“At first. But you will help them understand us. You’ve told me about how the males treat the females in New Earth. Are these women truly better under their rule?”

She thinks about it then shakes her head. “I might be able to convince Cami. Or my other sisters. But I doubt anyone else will listen to me.”

I kiss the top of her head. “This is not your responsibility, female.”

“How does this not affect you?”

It affects me, because it affects her. She doesn’t see that.

“My actions are just. My warriors secured their borders and repelled the vints from infiltrating these past two months. We were to be given five females at the end of those two months, with ten more at the end of the year. Now the humans state there will be no more females for us. Not the five we’ve earned, or the ten at the end of the year. They’re risking their own borders against the vints and cheating me. Their actions prove they don’t believe we’ll respond. Or they want us to. I’m not sure what they’re planning, Paloma, but creating and then breaking this contract was done with intention, not a result of circumstance.”

“You may be right. They are up to something. Before you took me from New Earth, my father said I could return if I brought back intel on your people. Quite frankly, I didn’t believe anything he said at that point. That offer might be part of what’s happening here.”

“What type of intel?”

“Anything about your numbers, positions, location. I haven’t really thought about it until now. I’m sorry, Atox. I’ve been overwhelmed adjusting here and then hearing that you planned to take more women… That brought up all the fear and trauma I incurred. I can’t stop thinking about the other women, mainly because no one else is. They never should have been part of any deal New Earth struck. And now you’re targeting them because you think it”s your right.”

“It is my duty as grak to do what my people need. You, female, are not thinking like an orc. Or a graka.”

“Maybe because I’m not meant to be either.”

My belly turns with what I’m about to ask. “Do you regret being my mate?”

She leans into me, pressing her face to my chest. “No regrets, Atox. But I’m worried about what’s going to happen. Innocents will die if this ends in war.”

Silently, I thank the gods above that I haven’t lost my mate. Holding her solves nothing, but it tells me we are stronger together now. As she shakes in my arms, I want to do as she asks and leave the humans alone. Anything to please her. But I am grak. It’s not the orc way to back down when challenged or crossed. Allowing others to see us as weak endangers all my people, including my mate.

“I’ll speak with Cami. Maybe she can convince some of the women to leave willingly. Then you wouldn’t need to attack.”

She’s giving me another option. My mate listened to me, heard me and my worries. Pride sweeps through me. Despite the obstacles in our way, we are becoming one.

“What do you think of that?” she asks.

If she can convince females to come willingly, I will wait to secure them… and spare the colony. But I will punish the colony’s leaders. On this, there can be no compromise.

“Convince your sister,” I urge, to give her suggestion a chance. My female is soft-hearted in many ways, but I’ve come to accept this. Her caring nature will be an asset to my people, as long as I don’t allow it to cloud my judgment. She does not see the deceptions swirling around us, even as we speak.

“Convince me of what?” a female says from my left.

Instinctively, I guide Paloma behind as I reach for a knife. Then Paloma pushes past me and runs to the human. A female with long dark hair that reaches the middle of her back. Her dark eyes alone tell me this is Paloma’s sister, despite the female being shorter and having a smaller frame. This female would break beneath one of my warriors, but I will still welcome her into our settlement, if she agrees to leave with us.

Both females screech and jump in place. I expect the animals in the area to flee in a mass exodus at the high-pitched sounds.

“Cami, I’ve missed you so much,” Paloma says, tears streaking her face as she hugs her sister.

“Who’s the green ape? Your guard?” the other female asks.

“Watch your mouth, Camila Garcia.” Paloma breaks away from the embrace long enough to reach for me.

When I step away from her, I see hurt in her face. And relief in her sister’s. Paloma will not be able to convince her if I remain here.

I motion Sojek to approach. “You will guard your graka. Do not fail me, Sojek.” I shove one of my daggers into his hands, one that is longer than the utility knives he wears.

His eyes widen, but only for a second before he slams the flat of the blade against his chest. “Yes, my grak.”

“You’re leaving?” Paloma asks, worry on her face.

“I have business in another area of Pen’Kesh. I will return for you when I’m done.” I walk away, but not after glancing back at my female. Her mouth hangs open and her hand goes to her stomach. At this moment, she looks more human than orc. Frail, crushed by my slight, showing her emotions to those who would use them against her. But I know her heart, her spirit.

She will agree with my actions in time. Until then, she can visit with her sister, convince the fragile female to return with us. Either way, my mate will be safe among the humans while I negotiate with the bantarans. Sojek is an additional safeguard, an orc presence meant to intimidate any who would approach my female. He’s not as large or skilled as my warriors, but the humans don’t know his skills.

I will not be gone long negotiating with the bantarans for language implants. We need them for the females we will soon have. And we will have more, regardless of method. I do not wish to disappoint my mate, but if she cannot convince other humans to come to us willingly, then my warriors will go to their colony and take them. I will pay the bantarans extra to travel to our settlement to conduct the procedure there, where we can ensure the females do not escape.

“Grak,” Paloma calls out to me. I stop without turning.

“Speak.”

“I love you,” she says, her voice shaking.

Love is a human concept, one that betrays weakness. I will speak my heart to my female in our chambers, but not here in the open, among the humans and other species who visit Pen’Kesh.

“Do not leave the human quarter,” I say, acknowledging that I heard her. Even as I walk away and humans fill the space between us, I know that I’ve hurt my female, but I could not avoid it. I must not allow her emotions to change my course.

PALOMA

Camila shakes her head.“You’re married to that piece of work?”

“Yes, and watch what you say about my husband,” I quickly defend Atox as I strengthen my voice. I cannot allow his brusque manner and the way he left get to me. He loves me. I’m sure of it, even if he doesn’t use the words.

Sojek stands nearby, his hand on his knife, watching the humans who come and go. He did not understand Atox’s words to me, as Atox spoke in English, but Cami did.

“I think I embarrassed him,” I add for Camila’s sake. She doesn’t understand orcs and their bravado. It’s not like I always understand either, but I know Atox. He’s worried right now, though he would never show that to anyone.

“Yeah, right,” Camila says. She’s always been hard to lie to. Her suspicious nature makes everything difficult.

“It would take more time to explain Atox than we have, so you’re gonna have to take my word for it that he’s a good guy. And that he’s good to me,” I add, hoping to allay the disapproval on her face.

“Has he knocked you up? Is that why you’re trying to convince me he’s not a horrible beast?”

“Cami!” I practically shout, only to realize a bunch of people working the tables in Pen’Kesh, people I haven’t seen in months and I don’t really care to see given how they never fought to keep me with them, are watching us. I grab her hand in mine and lead her to a clump of trees away from the stalls. “And yes, I am pregnant.”

Her eyes go wide. Really wide.

“Oh, my god, Paloma! Why didn’t you use the birth control I sent with you?”

“My belongings were taken from me.” I wipe the tears pooling in my eyes when I think about that morning, how betrayed I’d felt by everyone including my sisters. “Before I realized what you’d given me, I thought you were okay with Council selling me.”

“Of course not! But none of us has a voice in our colony. You know this. As soon as Dad told us what was happening, we brainstormed ways to help you. I searched for birth control in case we couldn’t keep you from being sold, while Ren and Marta talked to everyone who would listen in the hope that someone could help. Mostly everyone slammed doors in their faces. No one wanted to risk their daughter taking your place.

“When I learned Gretta Anderson had birth control pills, I played on her ignorance, telling her Council ordered a ton more and they’d be arriving the next month. Since she wasn’t seeing anyone anyway, she agreed she could spare them. That, and I swapped kitchen duty for latrine cleanup for a month. I hoped the pills would buy you time to escape. Pregnant by an orc...” Camila shudders. “I’m so sorry, Paloma. What a horror show. To think you’re carrying a beast.”

I shove her away from me. In the corner of my eye, I see Sojek stepping closer, concern on his face. He doesn’t know what we’re saying, but he hears raised voices and sees the tension between us.

“I’m just thinking of you!” Cami says.

“I didn’t want to be sold to the orcs. I fought it every step of the way. Then I got to know them, especially Atox.”

“Clearly,” she says in a bratty condescending tone that implies I’m doing something untoward or reprehensible.

I slap her. Hard. I’ve never touched her with an angry hand or thought in my life. Immediately, I gasp and cover my mouth with my hand before reaching out to her to soothe the red mark on her face.

I’ve become my father. Unable to control the anger. Lashing out at my own family.

God, what has come over me? I wonder if this is how Atox felt after cutting Sojek.

“I’m so sorry,” I say and try to hug her, but she pushes me back.

Her hand covers the cheek I slapped. “I get it. You’re traumatized from being sexually assaulted. I was insensitive, but I’m scared for you, Paloma. Don’t worry. We’ll fix this. Together.”

“Fix this? You don’t understand?—”

“We finally have a doctor in the colony, from the last group of colonists. They arrived a month after you left. I’m sure he can get rid of it and maybe reverse this brainwashing.”

“No one is touching my baby. And I haven’t been brainwashed. Cami, look at me. I’m confident, stronger than ever, and it’s because of Atox. He’s a good man. Decent, honorable, and he cares about me.”

“Do you hear yourself? He’s not a man at all. He’s a beast.”

“You’re the one who’s been brainwashed. The same as me. From the moment we arrived on Kovos, we’re taught to hate the orcs but they’re not that different from us, Cami. They’re good people.”

“Are you actually saying you… love… that beast?”

“Yes, and he loves me,” I say, even though Atox has never used those words. But if I hesitate in front of Camila, she’ll deduce the truth. That I’m still insecure when it comes to Atox’s feelings for me. He didn’t react when I said I love him.

To my surprise, Camila’s face softens. “You don’t want to come home, do you? You’re actually happy with the orcs?”

“Very happy, Cami. From before we left Earth, we’ve been lied to. By the cendagi, then by Council. Everything they’ve said about the orcs is a lie. Even if I didn’t want to stay with Atox and his people, I wouldn’t return to New Earth. Not given what Council did to me.”

“But we’re your family. Your people.”

I shake my head. “There’s no forgetting what happened. Dad sold me, Cami. He and Council. And no one tried to stop them. I’m building a life with Atox. Among people who want and appreciate me.”

“We’re human, Paloma. They’re not.”

“This goes beyond physical features.”

“Dad said you’re a good fit for the orcs because you’re sturdy,” my stick-thin sister says. “But that’s not a reason to stay with them. I can help you lose the weight so you’ll find a man. A human man.”

“I don’t need a guy to make me feel good about myself. My weight doesn’t define me like your lack of intelligence doesn’t define you.”

She bites her lip, shock registering in her eyes.

I’ve gone too far. Attacked her a second time, except this time was worse than slapping her cheek. “I’m sorry, Cami. You know I didn’t mean that.”

My sister has an undiagnosed learning disability that makes reading, writing, and other day-to-day tasks difficult for her, but none of that affects her intelligence. Oh, god, the more time I spend with her, the more I realize how easy it is to replicate the bad behavior of a parent. Our dad constantly commented about my weight, but he put Cami down, too. In the heat of the moment, I made a hurtful comment similar to those he’s spewed in the past. More and more, I understand Atox better, especially how he worries about his father’s legacy.

I grab my sister in a hug. “You’re one of the smartest people I know, which is why I wish you’d be open-minded about Atox and the rest of the orcs. We’ve been fed lies about them by the same men who took our rights away in New Earth. Men who don’t want to get to know the other species here. They’d rather spread rumors so we fear the orcs and the others.”

“Why would anyone do that?”

“To control us. It’s as simple as that. People use fear to control. Orcs do, humans do. We’re alike in more ways than you realize.”

“I’ve got to go. Owen’s going to give me hell for being gone so long.” With a weak smile, she hugs me. It doesn’t feel forced, but it lacks her usual enthusiasm.

“I’m sorry, Cami.”

“I know. Me, too.”

She heads toward the produce table, the job I had when I wasn’t working in the fields. I glance over at Sojek. His eyes dart left and right, a sign he’s uneasy by being surrounded by humans. Cami and me raising our voices didn’t help.

My reunion with her has left me with an intense need to see Atox, to hold and apologize to him.

We need to talk, starting with me telling him about our baby and then asking him to set up another meeting at New Earth and to take me. If I go with him to talk to my people, I can expose the fear mongering that Council has been using. If enough women listen to me, maybe, just maybe, we can effect real change there and work on becoming allies instead of enemies.

“I need to find Atox,” I say to Sojek.

“He said to stay here.”

“Change of plans. Where did he go?”

“I don’t know.”

“You’d lie to me, Sojek?”

“No, Graka. But if I tell you where, then I fail my grak.”

“Good point.” I start walking toward the bantaran sector. Atox often talks about their technology. It’s as good a place as any to start.

“You can’t leave here,” Sojek says.

“Don’t worry. I’ll find him on my own and he won’t be able to blame you. Unless he gave you orders to tie me up to keep me from moving, you can’t stop me, can you?”

Sojek falls in step beside me. “Graka, this is not advisable. Our grak will be angry.”

“I’ll take the blame. He won’t touch you.”

“I don’t fear his wrath.”

“Only the loss of his respect?” I say, stopping and turning to him.

Sojek nods, his eyes pleading with me. I won’t put him in a bad position. Not again.

“We’ll wait here.”

He releases a breath.

Before I can ask Sojek how long Atox will be, my father and four men surround us. Sojek draws his knife, but I put my hand on his. He’s outnumbered and I don’t know what my father wants.

“I heard everything you and Camila said,” my father says, a hardened look on his face.

“You were spying on us?”

“It’s not spying when it’s my children. I should have brought Marta. Camila never gets anything right.”

“What do you mean?”

“She was supposed to lead you back to Owen to take you home.”

“This whole damn thing was a set up? Even the message from Cami drawing me here?”

“You’re coming home.”

“New Earth is no longer my home, thanks to you. You sold me to the orcs. Remember?”

“And now I’m taking you back.”

“I’m not going with you.”

“Yes, you are. Don’t cause trouble, Paloma.”

“Cause trouble? You’re joking, right?” My voice is raised, but I don’t care who hears what a bastard he is. “I never started this. You did. But as the saying goes, I’m finishing it. I’m staying with the orcs.”

“You don’t understand the situation.”

“I understand plenty. You’ll do anything to be on Council, including selling your own daughter. You’re a power hungry?—”

He slaps me. Hard. Behind me, I hear Sojek fighting the other four men, but I can’t see what’s happening. With a bruising grip, my father pulls me away.

“Let go! I’m not going with you!” When I try to kick him, he yanks my arm behind me and up, nearly dislocating my shoulder.

“Behave yourself. You’re coming with me. Those monsters broke the treaty.”

“You broke it. Not them. And I won’t be bounced back and forth like a ping-pong ball. I’m staying with them.”

“The orcs are lying to you,” he scoffs. “A vint told us everything. Lily’s alive. Held captive by an orc. First we get you, then her.”

“She’s no one’s captive. I’ve spoken to her myself. You sold me to the orcs and agreed to give them more women. Just count me and Lily as part of the group you planned to trade.”

When he says nothing, I realize Atox was right. There’s more going on here. And the vints are in the middle of it. “You’re using Lily being with an orc as an excuse to break the treaty. What did the vints offer you?”

“You’re talking nonsense. The orcs failed to keep the vints out. The vints broke through our wall, unchecked by the orcs.”

“You’re lying. The vints suddenly giving you information, you dismissing the orcs from protecting the border... It’s clear as day. You’re dealing with the vints. What did they offer you?”

“Security,” he finally confesses.

“Which the orcs were giving you.”

“And access to their rivers and mines. We’ll have all the water and raw minerals we can use.”

Water allows my people to grow crops… but the mines… Fuck, they’d have a lot of minerals the bantarans need. This is all making sense now. The bantarans have the knowledge and skills to build their technology, but no access to raw materials.

“Get in bed with the vints, if that’s what you want, but leave me the fuck out of your plans. I’m not yours to boss around and demean anymore.” I yank free of his hold but before I can step away from him, the tip of a knife presses against my belly, a canvas sack slung over his arm to hide the knife from view.

“Touch me and you’ll pay for it with your life,” I warn.

“The orcs broke the treaty. All our property reverts to us. Including you.”

“I’m no one’s property.”

“I disagree,” comes Atox’s voice. “You’re mine.”