Chapter 33

PALOMA

The next morning, I find myself alone in our furs. Atox left early. Hunting, Ossa says. I know there are a lot of mouths to feed, but something doesn’t feel right. And I don’t mean the nausea I’d been having the last few days.

Without Atox here, Sojek refuses to take me to meet Camila in Pen’Kesh, but I have her note and use the ash from the fires to write a brief reply. I wish I had a pencil or pen, but at least I can get word to Camila and she’ll know the note is from me. Sojek can memorize and deliver a verbal message, but his pronunciation of English isn’t good. This way, there’ll be no misunderstanding.

Dear Cam-Cam. All is well! Meet me in 2 weeks. Pen’Kesh. Love, P.

I have to keep it short, since writing with a stick dipped in ash is harder than it sounds. And the heart I make for the ‘o’ in love looks like a blob. Oh, well, she’ll figure it out that it’s my signature. Two weeks will hopefully give Atox enough time to return home and escort me. I can’t wait to see her!

A few days later,Sojek returns from Pen’Kesh with another message from Cami, saying she’s working at the produce tables for the next few weeks. That’s a relief. I haven’t missed my chance to see her.

Two days after that message, Atox finally returns with four warriors. From their expressions, I can tell their journey did not go well. I suspect he spoke with New Earth’s council again.

“Welcome home,” I say as he slides from his gorja.

Atox runs a finger down my cheek, looking at me with a lost expression I don’t understand.

I hug him tightly but he doesn’t return the hug. “I’ve missed you, Grak. Everyone has.”

“You lie, female. Like your people.”

My stomach twists.

“What am I lying about? I’ve told you everything there is to know about me. If this is about New E?—”

“Your people are as stubborn as you,” he snaps. “A quality of your race.” Atox turns from me and heads toward the tunnels.

“Some of us, yes, but not all,” I say as I chase after him. “Does that mean my people, I mean my former people, won’t renegotiate and you’re done with them?” So much for letting him relax first before bombarding him with questions, but he snapped at me. Totally uncalled for. “Have you approached the moxxels yet?”

Atox slams to a halt at the mountain entrance. “I am not done with the humans.”

Alarm bells go off in my head. “What does that mean?”

Ignoring my question, he enters the tunnels, moving past orcs at a brisk pace, knocking over a warrior who doesn’t get out of his way fast enough.

I don’t know what the fuck happened out there, but I hope he won’t do anything rash. I don’t think he’ll start trouble, not before knowing if human women can bear orc babies. We can, but now may not be the best time to tell him my news.

“Grak,” a warrior calls from the edge of the camp. “Ryko’s approaching from the north.”

That stops Atox. He barrels past me to the warriors and speaks with him in an angry whisper, too low for me to hear.

Despite his mood, I walk up to him and the warrior. He doesn’t face me, but he knows I’m there. I see it in how his shoulders tense as he watches for the rider to appear through the trees. I place a hand on his back and stand there and patiently wait for him to acknowledge me.

“Go to our chamber, Paloma. I will be there shortly,” he says, his tone softer now.

I move to his front and search his eyes. There’s worry there. He’s hiding something from me.

“Please, Paloma.”

He’s never used the word please before. The name the warrior mentioned minutes ago finally registers for me.

“Ryko? Isn’t that the warrior who seduced Lily?”

“This doesn’t concern you, Paloma.”

Shortly after my father sold me to the orcs, Atox confirmed Lily was dead. I knew the vints had kidnapped her, but I’d held out hope she’d survived.

Thinking about what happened to her makes me sick. Lily was several years younger than me, twenty-three, and very innocent. Maybe even a bit na?ve when it came to men. She’d been so desperate to be loved and fell for an orc, which was taboo among our people. To think, that was only a few months ago, and now my people are selling women, as if that’s okay but falling in love with an orc isn’t.

I had identified with Lily, not because we were both plus-sized gals, but because our male role models weren’t the finest examples of human men. Her uncle called her names and belittled her about her weight, whereas my father… I swallow, the memories still too raw. Until the day he sold me, he’d never laid a hand on me, but he’d always been emotionally absent from my life. Fortunately, I had my sisters to lean on. Lily had no one.

“If Owen had been doing his job in Pen’Kesh, Lily never would have hooked up with Ryko. Your warrior is the reason the vints attacked and kidnapped her. He bears as much blame as Owen for her death. More.”

“I’ve already disciplined Ryko for risking the treaty with your people.”

“This isn’t about the treaty, but what happened to Lily. And they’re my former people. I’m orc now. You’ve said as much many times.”

Atox’s hand curves around my waist, but his touch feels distant. “Yes, indeed, my mate. You are orc now.”

“Then trust in me. Tell me what’s going on.”

His jaw tightens. “It’s nothing you need to know right now.”

“Did Ryko force Lily?”

“No,” he snaps, releasing me. “Ryko is young, but he would not break our laws.”

“He disobeyed your orders.”

“Which is why I punished him.”

The clomping of three pairs of hooves striking the ground reaches us moments before a tall warrior sitting atop a gorja comes into view. It’s him, the young warrior I remember from that day in the market, when the vints surrounded him. Back when Lily begged for me to help save him.

The warrior didn’t need saving. Lily did.

Shouts of joy and welcome lift into the air around the camp as dozens of orcs run to greet Ryko.

Atox marches toward him, ire in his face. “You disobeyed another order, Ryko. I told you not to return until I sent for you.”

The crowd quickly disburses. “It was necessary, Grak. My female isn’t well, and I have no healer nearby.” Ryko slides from his gorja, revealing a woman behind him.

I gasp. “Lily! You’re alive!” I run to her, past Atox who stands several feet from the gorja, staring at Lily’s belly. She’s pregnant! Super pregnant!

Ryko lifts Lily off his gorja like she weighs nothing even though she’s a big girl, larger than me, and pregnant! She glows as Ryko kisses her forehead the moment he sets her down. Never have I seen a happier woman. I’m so relieved she’s alive. And safe. And happy!

“Congratulations!” I say, hugging her. “I can’t believe how happy you look, Lily. You’re beaming!” I glance at Ryko, who watches our interaction closely, but he doesn’t crowd Lily. This orc cares about her. Loves her.

“What are you doing here?” she asks, stunned to see me. “I can’t believe you’re here.” Her gaze scans the camp and the dozens of orc staring at her. “So many people…”

“You’ve never been here?” I ask.

She shakes her head. “The orc’s grak cast Ryko out as punishment, though it’s not permanent. I’m not sure when, but we’ll be allowed to return, eventually. At least that’s what he told Ryko. We’re not supposed to be here.” She pats her stomach. “But our little one has been kicking up a storm. Ryko’s nervous. He doesn’t understand that’s normal.”

“Maybe for an orc woman it isn’t. Either way, I’m so glad you’re alive!” I grab her by her hand and lead her toward one of the campfires where some of the women and kids are eating breakfast. “Let me introduce you to some of the others.”

“I have not dismissed her,” Atox says, the displeasure in his voice clear.

I spin on my heels and tilt my head, still not sure what’s going on with him. “I’m taking her to get something to eat and drink. Riding a gorja isn’t the most comfortable, and I’m guessing in her condition even less so.”

“The other females will see to her. We have a trip to take. To Pen’Kesh.”

“Today? Now? You just returned. I was hoping we could spend some time together in our chamber.”

“If you wish to see your sister, we go. Now. Sojek, get the cart and my gorja.”

“How about tomorrow, Atox? My sister will still be there.”

“Now or not at all.”

“Fine. Now.” I don’t like ultimatums, but I want to see my Cami and time on his gorja will give us a chance to talk.

I turn to Lily. “I’m guessing now that you’re here, you’re not leaving again so soon. We’ll catch up when I return from Pen’Kesh.”

“How long have you been here?” Lily asks.

I pat her belly. Her shirt, the one I’d last seen her in, doesn’t cover her baby bump. “Not long enough to beat you in the baby department.”

“You need a guy for that first, Paloma.”

“I have one. The angry one barking orders.”

“Their grak?” She looks horrified. Fair enough. Atox isn’t exactly showing his best side at the moment. I have to find out what’s bothering him.

Back in Pen’Kesh, with my produce table next to Lily’s leather goods, we spoke often. I thought her na?ve when she talked about orcs as if they were similar to humans. As it turns out, Lily knew what she was talking about. I, on the other hand, was closed-minded.

“I was sold to the orcs a month after you disappeared.”

“Sold?”

“It’s a long story. But ultimately, I came to know Atox, their grak, and agreed to marry him.”

“But he’s so angry.”

“Not normally.” I squeeze her hand in mine. “He’s a good person, Lily. I promise you.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” She doesn’t look convinced.

“How far along are you? Looks like five months.”

“Four. I think my belly’s bigger than it would normally be because the baby’s half-orc.” She giggles. “Nothing about these orcs is small.”

Damn, but she hasn’t changed a bit. Except for the baby. Lily’s her usual fun-loving, cheery self. If anything, she’s more relaxed than she ever was in New Earth. It fills my heart with joy to see her so happy.

“Paloma, why did you think I was dead?”

Because Atox told me so.

“It’s a long story. We’ll talk later. Do you speak any Orcan?”

“A little. Ryko’s been teaching me, but it’s been slow going. I don’t have an ear for languages. We converse in English mostly.”

“Here’s a good chance to practice. None of the women here speak English. Go sit. Introduce yourself.”

“I don’t know them.”

“Talk babies. I’m sure that will get the conversation going.”

After I point Lily to a fire where several woman are sewing tunics, I join Atox who is reprimanding Ryko.

“After the healer sees your female, you will take her and relocate to Totha. There is a healer there as well who will aid your female with the birth. Do not disobey me again, Ryko.”

“You honor me, Grak,” Ryko says, slapping a knife flat against his chest.

I wait for Ryko to walk away before unleashing my anger on Atox. “You lied to me. You told me Lily was dead.”

“You assumed it.”

“But you knew what I believed, and you didn’t correct me.”

“It was best that way.”

“It’s not for you to decide what is best for me.”

“It is my duty, as your mate and your grak. You still haven’t learned that, female. There will be things I cannot tell you, and this was one. Are you coming to Pen’Kesh to see your sister or will I go alone?” He swings up onto his gorja.

Sojek waits nearby, sitting on the driver’s seat of the gorja-led cart. I climb into the back of the cart, without seeking Atox’s permission.

“Graka?” Sojek asks, his eyes darting between me and a furious Atox.

“Drive, Sojek,” I say. “I’ll be fine back here. Atox doesn’t want a lowly human with him.”

A moment later, I’m pulled out of the cart by my tunic and lifted onto Atox’s gorja with him. One massive arm locks around my waist and the other grips the reins.

“Now we go.” Atox spurs his gorja forward.

I sit rigid between his thighs, not fully sure why I’m mad at him, except the fact that he lied to me about Lily. I know I’m not being fair, that there will be times he can’t tell me what’s going on, for the sake of keeping his people, damn… our people, safe. But it feels like he doesn’t trust me. Lily has been living with Ryko somewhere isolated. For four months. Atox knew she was alive this whole time. It makes me wonder what else he’s lied about.

“I wouldn’t have told anyone,” I say an hour into our ride. “Especially if it would have put Lily in danger.”

“Knowledge that she was with Ryko would have risked more than one female.”

“I know how to keep a secret.” My hand goes to my belly. I haven’t told him the news yet. I’ve been waiting for a moment alone with him, which we haven’t had since I discovered I’m pregnant.

“What’s going on, Atox? I mean, beyond you keeping this secret from me. You’ve been harsh since you returned. It’s like someone built a wall between us overnight and you don’t care to break it down to reach me.”

“No wall will keep me from you, female. No matter how tall, how wide, or what material is used, no wall can keep me away.”

This is the Atox I know. The determined, loyal male who will let nothing come between us. I slide my arms around his waist. “I’ve missed you.”

“You appear well.”

“I am, but you’re not. I hear it in your voice. You’re troubled and you’re lashing out at me instead of talking to me. Please, Atox, tell me what has you so upset.”

“You will not like it.”

“I like it less that you’re keeping your distance from me. After the risha, I thought we were becoming closer.”

He presses his torso against my backside, that damn thin loincloth doesn’t hinder his hard cock from nestling between my ass cheeks despite the underwear I retrieved from my belongings.

“That’s not the type of close I meant.”

“But it is the type I enjoy.” The lightness in his voice and knowing he still wants me lifts my heart, but what we are building together requires an intimacy deeper than sex.

“Sitting on your gorja is better suited for talking. You can enjoy me later.”

“I will definitely enjoy you later, my little warrior.”

“I’d like that. But we need to talk first. Your troubles are supposed to be my troubles, Atox. We are one another’s light and strength. Isn’t that what you said to me?”

“Yes. But it is my duty to protect you.”

“Leaving me in the dark doesn’t protect me. It fosters fear. Please, don’t shut me out.”

His lips nuzzle my neck, then my ear. “You are my everything, Paloma. Which is why I struggle with what I’ve done.”

My stomach knots, but I remain calm because he’s willing to talk with me.

“What did you do?” I ask in a whisper, as if whispering will lessen the shock.

He leans his forehead against the back of my head and breathes in the scent of my hair. His unease practically strangles me, but he won’t be rushed into telling me what’s troubling him.

“Your words don’t need to be perfect, Atox. Not for me. I won’t judge you. No matter what, I am and always will be your mate. I made that commitment to you, through the risha, because I love you, and nothing can change that.”

The silence stretches on as he runs his hands up and down my arms. “I sent several dozen warriors to the human colony.”

“Oh, God. Please tell me your warriors didn’t attack.”

“Not yet. Soon.”