16. Caroline

Iroll to my side, stretching out my hands to reach for him. All I find are tangled and wrinkled sheets, warm from the sun streaming in the floor-to-ceiling windows of our hotel.

I groan, mildly annoyed because Jake's like the world's comfiest, warmest, best-smelling pillow. Where is he?

I sit up, first looking at Walker in his crib. He let us off easy last night and only woke up twice, wanting to feed. When he woke up cranky because of his diaper, Jake handled it without a word. He also managed to not get pee in his eyes. Just a couple days on the job and he's already a natural.

A sleepy grin spreads my lips. Then I remember I told him last night. God. I actually told him.

I sink back to my pillow, both hands on my face. Was he just being nice last night? Is that why he's M.I.A. right now?

I'm in the middle of a tiny panic attack when the hotel door swings open. I'm only wearing an oversized t-shirt, so I lift the comforter to cover myself. I relax when I see Jake walking in backward with a service tray full of silver-topped plates on the cart.

I smile as the collection of drinks and food clinks and clatters. Jake is also wearing one of the big, puffy white hotel robes. He's barefoot with wet hair, like he's fresh out of the shower.

"What's this?" I ask.

"Room service. But you looked too hot. I told the guy to leave it outside." He crawls on the bed and plants a kiss on my forehead. "Not sure I want to risk letting anyone else see you looking like this. I'd have to fight for the right to be your fake fiancé.

I bite my lip as butterflies explode in my chest. Is this real?

"Should we talk about…"

"I got orange juice," Jake says quickly, almost like he's purposely cutting me off. "Eggs. French Toast. Fresh fruit. Did I say eggs?"

"Is everything okay?" I'm feeling a little worried now. Does he not want to talk about last night? Because I feel like there's still plenty more to talk about. Like what happens with Walker if things don't work out between us. Like whether he wants to be a bigger part of Walker's life, one way or another. Or even if we want to start telling people, because God, I would so love to tell everybody and stop keeping secrets.

"We have a flight back to Frosty Harbor on the team jet in…" he checks his phone. "Five hours. But I wanted to take you to an aquarium in the city. I love aquariums."

I smirk. Okay. He's clearly dodging the topic, but he's also not pushing me away. That counts for something, right? I should also remember I'm the one who sprung a life-altering surprise on him last night. I should give him the space to digest it how he wants to. If that means not directly talking about it for a little while, I can live with that. "That sounds great. Walker has never been to one."

"Perfect. What looks good to you?" he says, plucking the silver lids off the trays on the serving cart. I'll set up your plate.

"Breakfast in bed, huh? Are you trying to win me over or something?"

Jake's smile is quick, and his movements are a little too frantic. I've never seen him quite like this. I try to tell myself it makes perfect sense. The man just found out he's the father of a two-month-old baby last night. The mother of his child is a woman he has only ever casually hooked up with. Oh, and she was too much of a coward to tell him the truth until after his son was born, so he's probably understandably pissed with her.

"Jake…" say. "It's okay if you're mad at me. I expected you to be mad when I told you. Furious, even. It's–"

"I'm just…" Jake closes his eyes, holding up a hand to stop me. "I'm processing. But I'm not mad. It's not that. Could we keep moving forward like things are normal for now? It feels good that way. And I'd like it if we could just pause all the heavier stuff. For now."

Okay. We're communicating now, at least. That's good. "Definitely," I say quickly, nodding. "Which aquarium is it?"

"The New York Aquarium. The one on Coney Island."

I lean forward, taking in the smells of all the breakfast food. Walker must smell it, too, because he's doing his "I'm waking up now" grunts and wiggles in his crib.

"Sounds perfect."

"Where is everybody?"I ask, looking around in wonder.

The aquarium is one of the biggest in New York, but there's hardly anybody here.

Jake looks a little bashful. Even though we"re inside, he's wearing a black baseball cap and sunglasses. It's still clearly obvious he's Jake Summers, but his little disguise has managed to keep all but one mega fan from stopping us this morning.

"I may have gone online and bought every ticket that was still available for today," Jake says. "I couldn't buy out people who purchased ahead of time, but the lady on the phone said I cleared out about 70% of their normal volume for our time block."

"Why did you do that?" I ask, unable to help but laugh a little. "That's ridiculous. And it must have cost a fortune."

He grins. "You seemed overwhelmed when we were getting swarmed on the streets. I thought you might appreciate fewer crowds. Besides the charity, most of my money just sits around anyway. It feels kind of good to have a reason to splurge."

"I'm your reason to splooge?" I ask, giving him a teasing bump. "Is that what you just said?"

His eyes flash with arousal and amusement. "Yes, Caroline Prince. You are a very, very good reason to splooge. And for the record, I said ‘splurge,' not ‘splooge.'"

We spend the first hour walking slowly through the massive building. We stop and slow down inside a half-tube tunnel made of glass. Deep blue water hangs overhead as all sorts of fish drift by in the water. Jake has Walker out of his carrier, and he's holding him, pointing out fish while asking him questions.

It's adorable because Walker is absolutely clueless. Mostly, he's just drooling on himself and grunting, but Jake doesn't seem to mind.

Sneakily, I snap a picture of them on my phone. I don't know how things will wind up with the three of us, but I want some photo evidence of how good Jake is with his son. Also, Jake's ass looks amazing in those jeans. It wouldn't hurt to also have a little photo evidence of that.

The two of them are like magnets for passing women, though. Even if Jake bought out most of the tickets, a small trickle of other people is still going through the aquarium. I'm not surprised, considering plenty of people probably book ahead of time before taking trips to the city.

But I find I have to stick very close to my big man and my little man. If I even separate by a little bit, I catch women or groups of women drifting toward him. I've already had to pull the move where I casually come up and slide my hand around Jake's narrow waist like four times.

I notice a pretty blonde girl twirling her hair as she drifts closer to them and roll my eyes.

Jesus, Jake.

I move up behind him, wrap my arms around him, and kiss Walker's chubby little hand. With satisfaction, I see the blonde pivot and act like she just randomly decided to head in another direction.

"Do you realize you're a woman magnet?" I ask, tucking a hand in the back pocket of his jeans. I've never been a big PDA person, but I can't help myself. His ass is a work of art, and it might not be humanly possible to look at it without touching it. So far, we're touching each other almost like we're an official couple. As much fun as it is, I wish I knew if it was part of the act or because we took a real step toward something last night.

"It's the baby," he says. "You know how guys use dogs to pick up women in parks or whatever? I never realized small babies had the same effect. Kind of backwards, though, if you think about it. Why would a newborn baby signal that a guy is available?"

"Good question. Maybe it's just how hot you look being sweet with him. You're really good at this, you know."

Jake tenses a little. I wonder if I'm touching too close to that which must not be discussed.

"Sorry," I say, not entirely sure what I'm apologizing for, but I know it's something. "Um, did you know this place is 14 acres? Crazy, right? I read it on the brochure out front."

Jake's cheeks puff out as he lets a breath loose, eyes falling to his feet. "You don't have to be sorry. It's alright. I'm not mad, really. I honestly just haven't wrapped my head around it all yet. It's easier for me if we just keep doing what we were doing while I let it sink in. That's all."

I slip my arm around him and hug him from the side. "Take as much time as you need. We're not going anywhere." I cringe a little. I meant for that to come off as reassuring and supportive. Instead, it kind of sounded like a threat. "I mean, like, we're… Ugh. I'm sorry."

He chuckles. "Stop apologizing, Caroline. This is weird for all of us." He lifts Walker up and points him toward me. Walker's head lulls to the side, and drool dribbles from his lips. "Even me!" he says, raising the pitch of his voice and raising Walker's hand as if the two-month-old baby just talked.

I burst out laughing. "You did not just do that."

"Totally did."

Some of the tension between us feels like it's released after the brief conversation. I'm able to enjoy the aquarium more after that. We have to stop before lunch time so I can feed Walker, then Jake takes him into one of the family restrooms to change his diaper. It's nice having a giant man to carry the heavy diaper bag and help alternate holding Walker. I'm used to toting it all around alone, and I can't complain about a little help.

"Was Jesse annoyed?" I ask when we sit down with our lunch in the food court area of the aquarium. We've found a quiet corner to ourselves. "Andi said you'd already talked to him about our plans today and not to worry about it."

"He didn't mind. He said he would take Andi and Jude somewhere fun for the day. We've got team activities starting up in a few days, so it's not like he's got anywhere else to be."

"I just feel a little bad. They literally flew to New York to babysit our kid for like… four hours. It's kind of insane."

"It is, but that's the thing about teammates. The guys on the ice become like brothers. You know they'll have your back, no matter what."

"That's what Jesse is always saying."

He shrugs, pulling open the packaging on his sandwich. "He knows I'd do the same for him. We all would." He sounds a little sad, and it breaks my heart. I can tell he's thinking again about the guys all retiring.

"I'm sure you'll stay close," I say. "Even if you aren't on the team anymore."

Jake smiles a little too quickly. "Nah. It's fine. I'm not worried about that."

"Liar," I say softly.

"It's not like I don't have other teammates. The rookies are great. There's Rio, Bash, Castellano, and this new guy, Vlad. He's hilarious. Picture Maddox, but from the Czech Republic, and he doesn't realize none of his jokes or humor translate into English."

"That sounds like… something. But I know you're closest with the original guys."

"Yeah," Jake says, He plucks a chunk of his sandwich off and pops it into his mouth. "And now we're lying to them about getting married. Great way to stay close just as we're at risk of drifting apart, huh?"

"Jake… I don't want my problems to mess up your friendships. If you're worried about that, we can think of another way." I don't admit that the idea of backing out terrifies me. This plan is currently the only thing standing between me and losing the BB. I know the people of Frosty Harbor will always have my back, but my job is more than just a job. It's a legacy. It's my mom. It's everything to me.

"We got this," he says, reaching across the table and squeezing my hand. He must see some kind of fear in my face because he's back in the unshakable team captain mode. His eyes are firm and reassuring, his expression shows no hint of weakness. "I looked up some wedding planners, by the way. Do you want the honors of picking one, or should I just go for it?"

His words give me a temporary bout of vertigo. I try not to show it, smiling. "Um, wow. Yeah. I guess we'll need one of those, won't we? Maybe I can look over the list on the plane? Fake or not, we might as well make sure the wedding is done well, right?"

"Sure," Jake says. He puts a chip in his mouth, and his eyes go distant as he chews.

I sip my drink, wishing I could know what was happening in his head. Is he wishing he had never met me? Wishing he never had a baby with me? Or is he wondering if this is true? I hope it's not that. I'd be devastated if Jake thought I was like that woman and just trying to baby-trap him.

But I need to give him time. It's like he said. He needs time for this all to sink in. All I can do for now is wait and hope that maybe by the time we get to Frosty Harbor, he'll have a better sense of where he stands on all this. Then again, I'm not sure showing up back home and getting bombarded by all the people we're lying to about our engagement will necessarily be ideal for clear-headed thinking.