Chapter 13

The week ran Tess ragged. She and Miles had barely connected for a quick cup of coffee. Their nighttime chats had been interrupted by a number of things ranging from ridiculous first week of school assignments and special requests for school supplies or, in Miles's case, late meetings in the office.

When he called the following Monday and asked her to be his date for some event, she turned him down. She couldn't imagine dressing up and smiling all night. Plus, she didn't have anything to wear. She didn't want to admit it to Miles. With her next paycheck, maybe she could squeeze some extra money to buy a new dress or two. She didn't care if Miles said her dress didn't matter, she knew better.

He'd sounded disappointed but didn't pressure her to change her mind. All day at work on Wednesday, she'd caught snippets of rumors about budget cuts by the end of the year. It was one more stressor she didn't need. The PICU was a small department that cost a lot of money. Caring for the smallest and most ill patients was expensive.

If her department lost money, she would probably have to look for a new job. She shook the thoughts off. No need to borrow trouble.

She'd already gotten a text from William saying he'd have the kids home right after dinner. Luckily, it had been a quiet day with patients, so she shouldn't be late. Knowing William, he probably hadn't asked the kids if they had homework, which meant it was a task still relegated to her to-do list.

She took a swig of her cold coffee and wrapped up the charting she had to do for her shift.

Angie plopped onto the chair beside her. "How are things going?"

"Good. Kids are back in school and while I couldn't wait for that to happen, now I can't remember why. The freaking homework is a killer."

"And Miles?"

"What about him?" She dropped her nasty coffee in the trash.

"Are you still dating?"

"Yeah. Things are good there, too, I guess."

"You're not sure?"

"It's hard with the kids' schedules and he's working on a huge project for work. We don't get to spend much time together. I met his family on Labor Day."

"Oooo… Exciting." Angie twirled on the chair. "Details."

"His family was really nice. I hit it off with his sister, Sabrina. The kids had a blast. We spent the morning on his family's yacht." She smiled at Angie when her friend's eyes turned to platters.

"Yeah. He invited us to go out on the boat for a few hours. Then he drives us to a mansion in Kenilworth and is all like, ‘it's home.' As if it's some ranch house on the North side."

Tess shook her head at the memory. Miles was never snobby about having money, which would've spelled doom for them a long time ago. But he was almost clueless about it.

"So you're really into each other, huh?"

Tess lifted a shoulder. "We're having a good time. I have no idea where it's going or if it's going." She checked the time. "I have to head home. William will be there soon with the kids."

"God forbid you should be late."

Angie's snarky comment crawled under her skin. She knew Angie was right, but this was the way things were with them. "I keep things simple. I find that when I expect very little from William, I'm rarely upset. The kids have a good time with him. They have dinner together and he usually buys them some expensive thing to express his love. That's fine."

"No one is going to erect a sainthood statue in your honor. I say let him have it."

"There's nothing to say. And I'm not looking for sainthood. I'm okay with the way my life is going. See you this weekend?"

"I'm on on Saturday, so see you then. I want better details about Miles."

"We'll see."

As she headed to the train, her phone vibrated with a text from Miles.

Dinner?

On my way home now. Kids ate with William, and they'll be home soon.

Dinner for two?

If you want to eat while listening to me argue about homework.

Can I hold your hand?

I think I'll need my hand to eat.

She leaned against the bench to wait for her train.

But I'll let you ogle me while I help do math worksheets and sign assignment notebooks.

Sexy. Make-out session after kids are asleep?

I don't know if I'll be awake much longer than they are.

Close enough to agreeing. See you soon.

She tucked her phone back in her purse and waited for the train. Her life was always so full of taking care of things that she rarely had time to step back and think. Miles had a way of making her think, but it wasn't always good.

They hadn't revisited their conversation about where they were going and what he wanted. She felt like he was avoiding it because he'd come to the same conclusion she had. They couldn't last. He would want to have his own family. He didn't want to see it because they were enjoying what they had going.

But even she could recognize how one-sided it was. Sure, Miles received as many orgasms as he gave, but in every other aspect, their relationship revolved around her. As much as she enjoyed it, she knew how resentful a lopsided relationship could make a person feel. On the train ride home, she thought of ways to turn the tide and make things more equitable.

Bottom line, Miles had to want to bring her into his life. Other than doing fun things like going out on the boat. Hell, even that had been more about her and the kids than it had been about her participating in his life.

She decided she'd try tonight. After the kids were settled, she'd ask about work and his father's foundation. The project was consuming a lot of his time, but he never really spoke about it, other than to say he had a meeting.

When the train jostled at her stop, she got off and walked home. As she neared her house, she saw Miles sitting on the front porch looking pretty damn unhappy. Then she realized why. William was there with the kids.

"Hey," she said, trying to sound cheerful.

"When you said the kids had eaten with your ex, I didn't make the connection that he would be here."

She took a deep breath. "Do I even want to know?"

"I rang the bell, expecting one of the kids to answer. When a grown man opened the door, I was surprised."

"And?"

"I told him I was here to see you, and he told me you weren't here yet and closed the door on me."

She shook her head. William was an ass. "Can you wait out here for like five more minutes?"

"Sure." He looked disappointed, but his presence in the house would only make things worse.

"I'm home," she called as she went inside.

Andrew and Billy sat at the dining room table, doing homework, she hoped. As she neared, she realized that no, they weren't. They were playing on tablets. "What are those?"

"Aren't they cool? Dad got them for us. He says this way we can FaceTime him while he's away."

"Away?" What the ever-loving hell? Her fury bubbled up faster than she could control.

William came from around the corner, where she sincerely hoped he'd been in the bathroom and not her bedroom. William didn't always respect boundaries. "We need to talk." She moved past him straight to the kitchen, assuming he would follow.

Behind her, she heard Billy say, "Ooo…that's her mad voice."

"What do you want, Tess? I have plans."

She spun and waved her hands. "Plans. You always have plans. So do I. He happens to be sitting on the front porch because you slammed the door on him."

"What would you have me do when some strange man comes knocking? Invite him in?"

"Yes. That's the courteous thing to do. You didn't have to hang out with him, but to leave him outside was ridiculous."

"I'm here with the kids. It's my time?—"

She almost lost it. "Yes, your time. You could take them to your house and spend hours with them. Instead, you feed them and dump them off at your earliest convenience."

"Convenient. Need I remind you that I take Wednesdays as a favor to you?"

"They're your children. It's not like I'm out partying while you slave away caring for our kids. I'm at work. And even if I were out partying, it shouldn't matter. Those kids are your responsibility, too."

He bristled at her tirade. "I've always provided well for our children."

"Yes, provided." She held up her hands. They'd been having this same conversation and argument for years. "It doesn't matter. From now on, all I'm asking is that you not be rude to my guests."

"You mean your boyfriend." He crossed his arms.

She matched his stance. "Whoever happens to be here."

"Are we done?"

"Yes." As he turned to leave the room, she remembered the tablets. "Wait. I thought we agreed no more buying expensive gifts just because."

William turned back. "The tablets weren't very expensive. And kids need the most up-to-date technology. It's how to be successful."

I'm so sure the games are all about being successful. "The boys said something about you going away?"

"Yes. Margaret and I have a vacation planned. We're leaving Saturday and we'll be gone two weeks. I want to be able to talk with them and see them."

Tess ground her teeth. "So you're cutting this weekend short, and you'll miss next Wednesday and your next weekend. Am I hearing that right?"

"Yes. But we'll be able to talk using the tablets, so you don't have to worry about using your phone."

As if the phone were her biggest problem. William was trying to buy the kids' love, using money to make up for not being there. "Well, thanks for all the warning so I can make plans around work."

"I'm sure your mother will help. She always does."

"That's not the point."

He didn't get it. He never would. She waved him off before her anger got the better of her. "I'll talk to you whenever you get back." She walked past him to get Miles from the porch. What she'd thought would be a simple conversation had lasted much longer than she'd planned. She hoped Miles hadn't left.

She heard William saying goodbye to the boys as she opened the front door. Miles was sitting on the top stair. "I'm so sorry. I completely understand if you don't want to stay. As much as I'd like to say it won't happen again, I can't guarantee it."

Miles stood and smiled at her. "I don't scare off that easily. Unfortunately, dinner is probably on the cold side now."

"I'm like the worst girlfriend ever." The tension from her argument with William still sat in her shoulders and guilt for everything with Miles made her stomach ache.

Miles set the bag of food down and pulled her into a hug. "I happen to think you're a pretty good girlfriend. Your ex sucks, but you're not so bad."

The door behind them opened, and Tess stiffened. She had zero reason to feel guilty, but having William see her in Miles's arms made something twist inside her. Instinct had her wanting to pull away, so she forced herself to stay put. On the rare occasion Tess was in the same room with William and Margaret, they made no attempt to hide their affection for each other. Tess sure as heck shouldn't have to do that in her own house.

"Tess," William said with a nod.

She guessed that was his version of goodbye. Or fuck off. Or whatever.

"Is it safe to go in now?" Miles asked.

"If you still want to." She stepped back but left her hands on his waist, enjoying the brief physical connection. "I told you my life was messy. You're the first man William has ever seen me with. He obviously didn't handle it well."

"It could've been worse. He could've punched me in the face to try to claim his territory."

She burst out laughing. "He has no claim here, but even if he thought he did, he would never risk his precious hands."

Miles looked confused.

"He's a surgeon."

"Ahh."

She tugged him toward the door. "Let's go warm up the food and you can witness the arguing and fighting over homework that is the perfect end to a long day."

They walked into the house together and Tess was glad Miles didn't frighten easily.

After a warmed-up dinner,Miles sat at the dining room table and watched Tess work magic. He didn't care that she made jokes about yelling and fighting over homework. He was amazed she completed homework with Andrew. The boy obviously hated math, but Tess had endless patience with him.

Billy worked silently on some worksheet, pausing on occasion to tell Tess or him about another feature of the tablet that made it awesome. Miles got the distinct impression the tablet was a point of contention for her, and Billy was trying to turn the tide. Miles gathered they were gifts from their father, but other than that, he couldn't figure out why she'd be mad about them.

Then Billy let it slip that he and Andrew had spent their dinnertime telling their father about the day on the lake and the party at Miles's house. When she heard that, Tess's head shot up from where she'd been looking at third grade math.

Miles swallowed a chuckle. That one sentence from Billy told Miles all he needed to know. William was staking a claim, but it was more about the kids than Tess. Billy didn't seem to recognize the effect of his words. He slid his homework into a folder and pulled out another paper.

"I want to join STEM club. I need you to sign the permission slip."

Tess took the paper. Before reading it, she pointed to the page Andrew was working on. "You forgot to carry." Then she looked at the pink paper. "When does it meet? Thursdays? That should be okay. Is there a fee?" She scanned the page and then took the pencil she had tucked in her hair and signed.

"Mr. Ross didn't say anything about a fee. But it's really cool. We meet every week and do a bunch of different projects. He said we can enter some competitions as a team."

Miles saw that Tess tried to be engaged and listen to Billy, but Andrew growled at his homework again.

"Hey," Miles said to Billy. "Can you help me take your mom's dish into the kitchen and show me where stuff is? You can tell me all about the club. I used to do Science Olympiad when I was your age."

"I thought you played baseball," Andrew said.

"I did both. I played Little League. Then in middle school, I did Science Olympiad. In high school, I had to pick one and I went with baseball. My dad hated that."

"Really?" Billy's eyes got wide. "Why?"

"My dad was a huge science nerd. He loved helping out with the team. He knew nothing about baseball, so he couldn't help." He leaned closer to Billy. "Sometimes it's nice to do something your parents don't get."

Billy smiled.

Miles stood and grabbed his plate. Billy took Tess's from where she had it shoved to the side and went toward the kitchen, chattering as he walked. "I asked Mr. Ross about Science Olympiad, but he said that since we're a new club, we couldn't do Science Olympiad. It's too complicated to start now, but if we get enough interest, maybe next year."

Over Andrew's head, Tess mouthed, "Thank you."

Miles winked at her. For the next fifteen minutes, he moved like a snail through the kitchen, cleaning dishes and packing up leftovers. He hoped he wouldn't have to keep Billy busy too much longer. The boy had a million questions about what kinds of projects he had done and if he still had any of them.

He was lucky if he could remember what he ate for breakfast, so a project he'd done more than twenty years ago was low on his list of important things to remember. "I can ask my mom. You know how moms are. They save everything."

Billy laughed. "Right? What's with that? It's weird." He ran over to the side of the refrigerator and pulled a paper from under magnets. "I made this in kindergarten, and she still has it. It's just my name."

"It was the first time you wrote your name by yourself. I was proud of you," Tess said from the doorway.

Billy rehung the paper with a sheepish look.

"Homework is finally done, so you guys can watch TV or play games for a half hour."

"Can we play on the tablets?"

Tess sighed. "That's fine."

He took off running into the other room and yelled for his brother.

Tess remained in the doorway, leaning against the frame, arms crossed. "Thanks."

"For what?"

"Cleaning up. Talking to Billy to keep him in here so I could help Andrew with homework."

"No big deal."

"It means more than I can explain."

Miles tossed the towel on the counter and crossed the room. "Hey, I'm not going to turn down brownie points you're handing out so generously, but if that's all it takes to make your life a little easier, think nothing of it." He stroked his thumb across her jaw.

She leaned into his touch, and he realized how tired she looked. He kissed her gently. "Everything okay?"

"Just feeling stressed. The beginning of the year is hard because we have to build new routines. And then William." She gave another sigh, this time with her eyes closed. When her gaze met his again, she said, "Plus, he's going out of town on Saturday, and he'll be gone for two weeks."

Sounded damn good to Miles. "How is that bad?"

"It's his weekend. And he'll miss next Wednesday. And probably his next weekend. More for me to juggle. To top it all off, all day at work people kept whispering rumors about budget cuts for our department."

"What can I do to help?"

"Nothing." She pushed off the wall and out of his reach. "I have to start a load of laundry. Then we can sit and talk or watch TV for a while."

He watched her go through backpacks and pick up stray items from the living room. Then she yelled up to Zoe who tossed clothes and towels down the stairs. Tess gathered the pile, which completely filled her arms by the time she was done.

"Two minutes," she said, pushing her way through the kitchen. "Go relax."

Instead, he followed her. With her elbow, she flipped a switch and a light flickered on. As she shoved the clothes into the washer, Miles came up behind her. "How much laundry do you do in a week?"

She chuckled. "More than I care to think about."

She measured detergent, poured, and then pressed buttons. When the machine started, Miles stepped closer, allowing his hands to roam down her sides. He kissed her neck. "So this is the infamous laundry room?"

"Infamous?"

"Isn't this where you hide out to talk to me?" He continued to touch, caress, and rub against her as he spoke.

She licked her lips and nodded.

Gripping her hips tightly, he turned her to face him. He began kissing her in earnest, tasting lips that until that moment he didn't truly comprehend how much he'd missed. Grinding his hips to hers made her breath hitch before she moaned into his mouth. Miles slipped a hand between them and stroked her through her jeans.

Her hips bucked, and she met his hand twice before squeezing his shoulder. "Stop, Miles. We can't."

"Sure we can."

"No. My kids are home."

"They're busy with games. We can be fast." He kissed her neck, and her pulse pounded against his tongue. She wanted this. More, she needed it.

"Let me make you feel good."

She whimpered, and he thought he had her, but she pushed him away.

"I want to, but no. My kids are home. I can't have sex with them here."

He closed his eyes tightly for a minute. "You've had sex with them in the house before. You managed to get pregnant three times."

"That was different. It was their father. We were married."

"Do you think your ex refrains from sex when the kids spend the weekend there?"

"I don't know. I don't ask. But they're married."

"So it's only okay to have sex if you're married?" He rubbed a hand over his face.

"Obviously, I don't expect marriage in order to have sex. But these are my kids." She reached out and rested a hand on his chest.

He wanted to understand but couldn't. It wasn't like he was trying to take her on the dining room table. The kids were nowhere to be seen.

"Please don't be angry." Her voice almost broke him. Like she couldn't handle one more emotional hit.

He placed his hand on top of hers. "I'm not mad."

Irritated? Yes. Disappointed? Definitely. But he couldn't be angry at her. He blew out a breath.

"Want to have some wine? Watch TV?" she offered hopefully.

"In a minute. If you don't want the kids to know what almost happened here, we need to wait for the evidence to go away."

She chuckled in that low, sexy way she had, which didn't help.

"Since I don't get to have you naked tonight, how about this weekend?"

She shook her head sadly. "I'm working, and I have to figure out what to do with the kids since William is going away."

"I can hang out with them for a while if you want."

"That's sweet, but I can't. I trust you, but the kids don't really know you yet. I wouldn't be comfortable leaving you with them."

The hand beneath his turned over, and she interlocked their fingers. "It's not about you. I knew Trevor, Owen, Evelyn, Nina, and Gabe for more than a year before they even met the kids. Even longer before I asked any of them to babysit."

"Who are all those people?"

Tess pulled him from the room. "They're my friends. We met in a divorce support group."

He followed her into the living room and consumed every small bit of detail she offered about her life. As frustrated as he was that he couldn't have sex with her, spending more time understanding Tess wasn't a waste of his time.

Tess workedall day and into the night on Friday. She took every hour she could in case she needed to call in sick while William was out of town. The thought still grated on her. She was so tired of him using his money as a substitute for his time and energy. And it was pretty evident—at least with Zoe—the kids were growing tired of it, too. At eleven o'clock, she was leaving the hospital when her phone buzzed.

Only two people would text her this late—William and Miles. So she fished out her phone while she headed to the front. She was so tired, she wished she'd driven to work instead of taking the El.

When are you off work?

Miles had impeccable timing. It was like he had a sixth sense for when she might be free.

Leaving now.

Good.

Do you want me to come over?

She walked through the lobby as she texted and waited for an answer. The glass doors whooshed open, and the cool night breeze swept across her.

"I was actually thinking I could come over."

His voice startled her. He was leaning against his car in the drop-off area. She hadn't realized how much she wanted to see him.

"What are you doing here?"

He reached out and tugged her waistband until their bodies were flush. "I missed you. And I knew the kids were supposed to be with their dad, so you'd be free."

"I am," she said with a smile.

"Excellent. I can't wait to get you naked."

She sighed as he kissed her.

"Can I drive you home?"

"Uh…you want to go to my house?"

"If it's okay. You always come to my place. I know you have to work tomorrow, so if we're at your house, we can maximize our time together."

She hugged him tightly. "You're too good to me."

He opened the door, and she slid into the car. On the drive to her house, Miles asked about her day and the kids. As tired as she was, she realized he was doing it again. Putting every ounce of focus on her.

"How are things going for you at work?" she asked.

"Okay. We've run into a few tangles with paperwork and stuff, but we're moving forward. Any word about the budget rumors?"

"More of the same. Tell me about things with the foundation."

He glanced at her from the corner of his eye. "What do you want to know?"

"What are you doing? What are your plans?"

"I spend most of my day on the phone and in meetings. When I'm not doing that, I'm staring at spreadsheets. Trust me, you don't want to talk about my day."

She twisted in her seat to fully face him. "Then tell me about your family. Or your friends. Something."

"Did I do something wrong?"

She was tired and cranky, and he didn't deserve her snapping at him, so she softened her voice before speaking again. "No, but you always ask about my day and listen to me bitch and complain."

"That's what being in a relationship is."

She grunted. "You don't tell me about your day. Your problems. Your ups and downs."

Miles changed lanes as they neared the highway exit for her house and then took her hand. "I'm not keeping secrets. My job would bore you. And I don't need your help with anything."

Something about the way he said it made her bristle. "Do you think I need your help? I've been getting along just fine on my own for years." A bitter chuckle slipped past her lips. "Long before my divorce if we're being honest. I don't share my life and problems with you because I'm looking for you to rescue me."

He pulled into a spot a few houses down from hers. He took a deep breath as he cut the engine. "I wasn't implying you need my help. But you fix everyone's lives. I don't want you to see me as someone else to take care of. I want our time together to be a reprieve for you."

Well, damn. His words deflated all her bluster. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I want us to be equals and so far, you've been doing all the giving and I've been taking."

He wagged his eyebrows. "You've given me plenty."

"I'm trying to be serious." Swatting at him, she smiled.

He sobered and leaned across the car until their noses were almost touching. "I seriously like you. If I need to vent, I promise you'll be my first stop. But my life is pretty even keel."

"Okay."

"Does that mean we can go in and get naked now?"

"Yes."

"And I can spend the night?"

She hadn't thought about him sleeping in her bed.

"The kids aren't there."

"I know. It's just…a big step."

"Not that big. I want to spend the night wrapped around you without you sneaking off because you have to take care of people. I want to sleep with you and have breakfast with you."

She wanted all that, too, but would it set a precedent? She knew she wasn't ready to have him spend the night when the kids were there, and part of her believed sleeping with Miles would be every bit as addictive as having sex with him. "Okay. But only tonight. It won't happen when the kids are here."

"You got it." He turned and jumped out of the car.

Tess barely got the door open before he was reaching in and taking her purse and her hand. "In a hurry?"

"I told you I want to maximize our time together."

They walked into her house and Tess felt different. She'd never had a man here. She hadn't shared her bed with anyone since the divorce. Nerves tumbled through her, which she tried to bat away as silly. She and Miles had been together for months now. They'd had plenty of sex. Sleeping shouldn't be a big deal.

She kicked off her shoes and pulled her hair from the ponytail in the hallway.

"I love that look."

"Huh?" she asked.

"Watching you let your hair down. It falls in these crazy waves." He shoved his fingers into the mass and massaged her scalp.

Tess moaned and then giggled. "I must sound so easy if rubbing my head makes me moan."

"I enjoy knowing all the ways to make you moan."