Chapter 12

Monday morning, Tess packed sandwiches and drinks into a cooler. Then she checked to make sure the kids had swimsuits and a change of clothes for later. Regardless of how many questions she'd asked Miles about what they should wear to the party, he insisted it didn't matter. Somehow, she thought he was wrong.

She'd met his mother. She'd seen how he dressed most days. What if their idea of a barbecue was formal dining outdoors? That would be a disaster with her kids.

Miles had tried to reassure her, but she wasn't feeling at ease. On her third check of everything, the doorbell rang. Miles agreed that it made more sense for them to take her car because they would fit more comfortably, so he was meeting at her house.

Billy ran to let him while Tess recounted the number of sandwiches and snacks in the bag.

Miles came into the kitchen where she was packing and kissed her cheek. He looked at the cooler and bags and said, "We're only going to be on the boat for a few hours."

"I know. But it'll be lunchtime. And being out in the sun makes it easy to dehydrate, so I have extra drinks. That bag has towels and sunscreen." She looked up at him. "I want to be prepared.

He shrugged and grabbed the cooler. Tess yelled to get the kids moving. Outside, Miles slid the cooler into the van and she handed him the two bags. "Keys?" he asked.

"For what?"

"So I can drive."

"You want to drive my mom mobile?"

"My masculinity isn't threatened by your van." He leaned over and whispered in her ear, "I like to be in charge of all the driving."

She felt her cheeks heat but handed him the keys.

The kids settled in the back and the trip to the lake was relatively quiet. Miles led them to the slip and Tess couldn't believe what she saw. When he said the family boat, she imagined a pontoon boat or something similar. What Miles pointed to was nothing short of a yacht.

Then she wanted to slap her head. She'd known Miles had money. His family was wealthy. Why hadn't she thought ahead to this?

Andrew looked at the boat and said, "Wow. Are you rich?"

Tess groaned.

Miles laughed. "My family is. This belongs to all of us."

"You mean you have to share?"

Miles nodded as he hefted the cooler on deck. "My dad bought this when I was about your age. My brother and sister are a lot older, so they got to use it more. But now that we're all grown up, we share."

He lifted Andrew onto the boat and waved the rest of them aboard.

Zoe turned to Tess and whispered, "He's really rich, isn't he?"

Tess didn't want to lie, but she didn't want this to be a big deal either. "Does it matter?"

"I know it shouldn't, but it's pretty cool."

Once they were all on the boat, Tess coated everyone with sunscreen while Miles prepared to leave the dock. He walked by and dropped a pile of life vests.

"What are those for?" Billy asked.

"You need to have life vests on."

Zoe shot a dirty look at the orange vests. "I know how to swim. I don't need one."

"Doesn't matter. Rules are that all minors have to wear them."

Tess breathed a sigh of relief. She'd thought she'd have to fight with the kids on this.

"Mom, would you tell him." Zoe pointed to where Miles had walked off.

"I don't think he makes the rules, honey. How about if you put it on, but I won't make you tie it?"

She turned her attention to Billy and Andrew and made sure they were fastened. The kids walked around and explored the boat while she set up towels and found a place for lunch. The boat was beautiful and spacious.

Zoe was lying on a towel in the sun and Billy was reading a book on the bench in the shade. She went to find Andrew. She found him with Miles, who was steering the boat. Once on the open water, he let Andrew take the wheel.

He looked so damn good with her son in front of him, teaching him. He spoke in low tones and although she couldn't make out what he said, Andrew was eating it up. Tess watched them together for a few minutes and tried not to let her imagination run away. This was what she'd imagined for her life as a family. One where both parents worked and played and acted as partners.

But Miles wasn't a parent. At least not for her kids.

She needed to remember that. Enjoy the moment. Don't stress about the future or unknowns.

Not exactly her strong suit, but if she was going to do this dating-relationship thing, she needed to accept she couldn't control every outcome.

Miles caught her eye and smiled. He kept one hand loosely on the wheel and let Andrew steer.

"You want to try?"

"No thanks. It looks like you boys have it covered."

"Go sit and relax. We'll go out until we're free and then the kids can swim."

She nodded, but the thought of letting the kids jump off a boat unnerved her.

Miles spentthe day amazed by Tess. She kept a constant watch on all three kids. It was like she had a weird sixth sense and always knew when someone was going to need something even before they asked. Miles didn't know how she wasn't totally exhausted. As he pulled back into the slip, she was below packing up the remainder of their stuff. He wondered if she ever took a break. He'd thought today would be a fun outing for them, but now he had doubts.

He'd seen Tess smile, so she hadn't hated the day. She had worried when he suggested the kids jump off the back of the boat to cool off. He went in with them while she stood watch. That was how Tess handled life—she took care of everyone.

He cut the engine and went to help her grab the bags and cooler. The kids were sprawled all over the deck. When he went below, Tess was rolling towels and shoving them in a bag.

"What can I help with?"

"I got it. We just need to carry it all back to the car."

He flipped the lid on the cooler. "They demolished the food you brought."

"Swimming and sun equals constant hunger."

"Are you still okay with going to my parents' house?" He stumbled as he said parents. Although his dad had been dead for more than a year, he still thought of it as his mom and dad's house.

Tess looked down at her clothes. "I wish I'd brought something else. We won't have time for me to go home to change."

"You look fine."

"I don't want to look fine when I meet your family." She ran a hand over her ponytail, which was barely restraining her hair. "And the kids. They're an even bigger mess."

"They're going to run around and get sweaty and messy at the party. Trust me. I'm not changing."

Tess rolled her eyes. He stepped closer and held her shoulders. "This is you. It's who you are. I don't expect you to change for my family. I've seen you in scrubs and a fancy gown and jeans. It doesn't matter what you wear. I like you in anything." He lowered his lips to her ear and whispered, "Or nothing."

Tess laid her forehead on his shoulder. "You make this hard."

He chuckled. "That's what he said."

"You're such a goof." She laughed.

"My family will be thrilled I'm bringing you to the party. They'll love you."

"What time does the party start?"

"About two hours ago."

She shoved away from him. "Are you serious? We're late for a party with your whole family?"

"We're not late. People drop in whenever they want." He checked the time on his phone. "Food will probably be ready in an hour or two, but then they'll make more later. It's an ongoing kind of thing."

She looked panicked. "We're going to make a horrible first impression."

"You'll be fine. Let's go."

"If your family hates me, it'll be your fault."

He shrugged. "I don't care what they think of you. This is my life."

He lifted the cooler and walked up the steps while calling to the kids, "Let's go. Time for a party."

They grabbed their stuff and followed behind him quietly. Miles was pretty sure they'd had a good time, but their silence was unnerving. "Are they okay? They're really quiet."

"They're exhausted. Wait until they get their second wind."

He closed up, and they piled in the car. Within five minutes, the kids were in various stages of dozing off, so he took advantage of the moment and held Tess's hand.

"Did you have a good time today?" he asked her.

"Yeah. The kids had a blast. They've never been on a yacht before. Well, neither have I. When you said the family's boat, that's not quite what I imagined."

"I meant did you have fun?"

"I said yeah."

"You didn't look like you relaxed at all. I wanted you to have a day off."

She laid her hand over their interlocked ones. "There is no such thing as a day off for me. I'm a mom. I don't mind doing the things I do. My pleasure comes from seeing them have a good time. You gave them a great experience. That matters more to me than taking a nap and missing out."

He wanted to understand. Her words made sense, but she should be able to have more, have it all. "You still need to take time for you."

"I do."

He didn't believe her for a second. As he pulled off Lake Shore Drive to head toward his childhood home, he released Tess's hand. "You should probably wake them. We'll be there soon."

Tess looked around. "Crap. I know I should've asked this before, but you grew up in a mansion, didn't you?"

He had never given it much thought. "I suppose by some standards it might be considered a mansion. The house isn't castle-size or anything. There are only four bedrooms."

Tess laughed. "Only four."

"You have three."

"And they're all small."

"Does it matter where I grew up?"

"Not really. You won't get it. I grew up lower middle class, like barely clinging to middle class. We lived in an apartment my whole childhood. When I was able to have a house for my kids, that was huge. But they look at our house and compare it to the one William bought for himself and his new wife. I can't compete. They're kids. They don't understand what things cost."

"Do you want to skip the party?"

"No. I'm just feeling uncomfortable in my skin right now. I'll get over it." Then she reached around like some kind of contortionist and woke the kids. Andrew groaned at her to leave him alone.

She shook his leg. "Come on, buddy. We're almost at Miles's party. He said there are going to be a bunch of kids there for you to play with."

He kicked out, not really at her, but more of a flailing leg.

"This is where I grew up," Miles said as they turned a corner. He pointed at the park. "That's where I used to play baseball." He pointed at a large old house. "That was where my first girlfriend lived."

"Hey, Miles," Zoe called from the back seat. "Don't you know you're not supposed to talk about ex-girlfriends in front of your new one?"

He looked at her in the rearview mirror. "Only if your new girlfriend is insecure, which mine absolutely is not." He winked at Tess. "And this is home."

Andrew groaned again. "I don't feel good, Mom."

Tess twisted in her seat. "What's wrong?" She took one look at him and jumped from the car. She flung the sliding door open, and before Miles could even process what was going on, she had Andrew out of his seat.

The boy hurled all over the grass.

"Ew. Gross," Zoe called as she climbed out.

"Is he okay?" Miles asked, keeping a safe distance.

"Probably just too much sun." She went to the back of the van, pulled out a bottle of water, and put it up to Andrew's lips. "Take some small sips and see if it helps."

"Should we take him home?" He realized the significance of we and home but hoped no one would read too much into them. He wasn't ready to consider why they so easily slipped from his mouth.

"No way," Billy said. "We're already here."

Tess looked at Miles and then at the kids. She pressed the back of her hand to Andrew's head. "What do you think? You want to rest a little while and see if you feel better?"

He nodded and then hung around her neck. Tess struggled to stand with her son in her arms.

Miles rushed to her side. "Let me take him."

"I don't think he'll go for that."

He touched Andrew's shoulder. "Can I carry you inside? I'll take you to my old bedroom."

Andrew nodded again and leaned over for Miles to take him. Holding him as Tess had, on a hip, was awkward as hell, so he shifted all of Andrew's weight to the front and started toward the house. He couldn't see over his shoulder, so he hoped Tess followed.

As he let them in the house and trudged up the stairs to his bedroom, he couldn't help but think about how much work kids were. He'd played and hung out with Tess's kids and always had a good time, but today he'd seen parenting, and it wasn't pretty.

He remembered why he didn't have any of his own kids.

Tess was torn.Being at the party to meet Miles's family was important to him, and she wanted the kids to have a good time. But her baby was sick. This was her primary job. She followed Miles into the house and tried not to let the shock get to her.

He might not call this a mansion, but she would definitely classify it as such. They stepped into a foyer that led to an open-concept living room and beyond that, a huge kitchen filled with stainless steel appliances. Miles headed up the stairs, so she continued on.

Behind her, Zoe and Billy murmured their opinions, but Tess figured they were as in awe as she was. Miles pushed into a room and laid Andrew on the bed. When he turned, he looked surprised to see her and the kids.

"You didn't have to come up. I can handle laying Andrew down."

"I want to make sure he's okay. And uh…we don't know anyone. Can you take Billy and Zoe down and maybe introduce them to people? I'll join you in a couple of minutes." While Zoe might be adventurous enough to head out, she knew Billy wouldn't.

"Oh, sure." He turned to the kids. "Let's go see who's here. I know there's some good junk food around, too."

Tess shook her head. He'd lowered his voice as if he was sharing a secret, but he'd said it loud enough for her to hear. She moved to the edge of the bed and touched Andrew's head. "How you doing, buddy?"

"Tired."

"Is your stomach still upset?"

He shook his head.

"Why don't you take a nap, and then if you're up to it later, we can enjoy the party?" She brushed his hair off his forehead. His skin was pink from the day in the sun even though she'd slathered him with sunscreen. She'd thought she'd given them all enough water to stay hydrated, but maybe she'd miscalculated. "Want to try another sip of water?"

He shook his head again.

She put the bottle on the nightstand. "I'll leave it here in case you change your mind."

She stood, and he said, "Are you leaving?"

"No. Just going to look out the window to see if I can spot Zoe and Billy." She took a slow walk around the room, checking out the trophies and medals lying on the dresser and bookcase. No pictures on any shelf, which seemed odd since she'd seen pictures in his condo. Maybe he'd taken them all from here.

Tess scanned the titles on the bookshelf. Mostly required reading kind of books, except for the long line of fantasy novels and computer gaming books. Miles was a nerd. She chuckled to herself.

"Spying?"

His voice from the doorway startled her.

"Of course. Did you think you were going to bring me into your childhood bedroom and I wouldn't snoop?"

"There still might be a Playboy under the mattress," he whispered.

"Not the kind of information I need."

He took her hand. "Ready to come downstairs?"

She looked at Andrew. "I don't think he wants me to leave. He's in a strange place."

"Give me your phone."

"Why?"

He held out his hand, and she gave it to him. "Does he know how to use it?"

"Of course."

"Passcode?"

Then she realized his plan. "He knows it."

Miles arched a brow. "But I don't. Keeping secrets?"

"No secrets. It's not like I know your passcode." Were they at the point where they should share those details? "It's my birthday."

Miles knelt beside the bed. "Hey, Andrew." When her boy opened his eyes, Miles put her phone in his hand. "Call my phone when you wake up if you want to come out to the party and we'll come get you. Okay?"

"Or call if you feel worse, and we'll go home," Tess added.

"Call if you need anything."

"'Kay. Night." Then he rolled over with the phone tucked in his little hand.

Miles stood. "Problem solved. Let's go get you a drink."

"I thought I was here to meet your family. Are you telling me I'll need a drink to get through this?"

"You've met my mom, so that's no problem. Sabrina is pushy. She'll ask a ton of questions. Bradley is a dick. He probably won't say much of anything." He pulled her from the room. "I want you to relax a little."

"Where are Zoe and Billy?"

"Last I saw, Zoe was playing strip poker with a room full of guys, and Billy was doing shots at the bar."

She nudged his shoulder. "Funny."

"I introduced Zoe to a neighbor's daughter who is about the same age, and Billy found my nephews, who were all talking about video games."

"It's not that I don't trust you. I worry about them. I can't imagine that will ever change."

At the bottom of the stairs, Miles stopped and faced her. "I think you're a great mom. But I feel like you don't trust me. I would never do anything to hurt your kids."

Tess didn't know how to explain herself. It had nothing to do with Miles. She was like this with pretty much everyone. "You barely know my kids. I don't think you'd do anything to intentionally hurt them, but you're not a parent. You won't think like one. It's not a flaw, just a reality."

He pressed a closed-mouth kiss to her lips. "Ready to meet everyone?"

"As ready as I'm gonna get." Tess tried not to be nervous. The problem was, she hadn't had to meet a boyfriend's family since she'd started dating William. This was far worse than first-date jitters.

"They'll love you."

"Sure." She looked down at her clothes again. She probably smelled like puke. This is such a bad idea.

Miles led her through the house, giving her a brief tour as they made their way toward a wall of glass that led out to a beautiful brick patio. Tess surveyed the guests. Never in her life had she wanted to punch someone as much as she wanted to hit Miles right now.

Everyone was dressed beautifully in designer—although casual—clothes. She looked like a schlub. Never in her life had she wanted to punch someone as much as she wanted to hit Miles right now. She didn't think she'd given anything away, but Miles stopped again.

"What's wrong?"

She gritted her teeth. "What's wrong?" she asked with a clenched jaw. "I'm completely underdressed for this party. Look around. Can't you see the difference between how I look and how they do?"

He didn't even glance at the crowd. Instead, he lowered himself so they were eye to eye. "I don't care what the label says. Having money doesn't make me a snob."

He didn't understand. He couldn't. He'd grown up like this, so he had no way of knowing how this would make her feel, so she couldn't hold it against him.

"I care about you," he added. "If they don't like it, they can fuck off."

She couldn't help but smile. He was so sure of himself and his feelings. In the back of her mind, though, this was a pulsing reminder of why they wouldn't work long-term. She couldn't live her life feeling like an outsider. Mustering up some bravado, she threw back her shoulders. "Then let's do this."

After the bumpystart they'd had to their afternoon, Miles was thrilled at how things had changed. Andrew had woken up from his nap and called him. He'd had dinner and began running around as if he'd never lost his lunch on the lawn. Zoe and Billy barely stopped to check in with Tess, which bothered her more than he thought it should.

But mostly, he loved that Tess relaxed enough to have a good time. She had a couple of glasses of wine and really hit it off with Sabrina, which was no surprise since they were two independent, career-minded moms. Sabrina took no time at all to lure Tess away from his side and they spent hours talking.

Unfortunately, he knew it was too good to last. Tess gave him a look that said the fun was over. She crossed the lawn in bare feet, having kicked off her sandals shortly after she'd been hit with a stray water balloon. He was caught in a sad mix of emotions. He loved the sight of her coming to him, but her attention was still split. Even with her eyes on him, she was cataloging the location of each of her kids.

"Something wrong?"

"No, but it's time for us to be going. First day of school tomorrow."

"The sun hasn't even set yet."

She laughed. "I can't use that as a guide. They all have to take showers and make sure their bags are packed so I don't maim anyone during the mass panic tomorrow morning." She took his hand. "If you want to stay and enjoy yourself, that's fine. You don't have to come with us. I'm sure you can get a ride from someone."

The offer was tempting, and in truth, had she been any other date, he probably would've taken her up on it, which led to more confusion. As much as he was glad he didn't have to check on the kids to make sure they were okay, he enjoyed being part of their family, even if it was only a small part.

"I'll drive you."

"We came in my car. I can drive. I don't want to take you from your family."

"We came together, we'll leave together. Plus, if I wait until the kids are in bed, I might get a kiss good night."

"Are you sure?"

"About the kiss? Absolutely." He put his arm around her shoulder.

She smiled and said, "I'm going to run to the bathroom. Then I'll round them all up." She glanced around, much like she had when she first stepped into the yard. "They look like they're having a blast. Thank you for inviting us."

"Any time."

She disappeared into the house and he chatted with a few neighbors while he waited for her return. A few minutes later, he felt like he was being watched, and when he looked over his shoulder, he saw Tess standing at the picture window, staring out at the yard. He made his way into the house.

She remained in the same position. He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. He lowered his mouth to her neck. "I don't think I'll ever be able to see you in front of a window like this and not think about the first time I had you. Watching our reflections in the glass. He nipped her earlobe.

Her breath hitched and she arched her back, pushing her ass against him. He growled and tightened his grip on her. "I'd take you right here if we were alone."

"But we're not." Her voice was breathy and it made him hard to know he had this effect on her.

"We could be."

She chuckled.

"The bedrooms upstairs all have locks. Just you and me."

She sighed and relaxed in his arms. "As great as that sounds, we're not alone. And I do have to get the kids home."

"When will I get you alone again?"

Turning in his arms, she kissed his cheek. "First week of school is crazy. Nighttime dates are out of the question."

"What about next weekend?"

"I have the kids."

"You have them today."

"It's Monday. William had them Friday and Saturday while I worked. Next weekend is mine."

He tried not to be frustrated by this. She'd been nothing but honest in discussing her life. But dammit, he wanted more of her.

"You can stay here. I'll be fine getting home."

"We came together, we go together." He forced himself to take her hand gently instead of scooping her up and taking her to a bedroom.

Outside, Tess called the kids. Twenty minutes later, he began regretting the move to go with them. Andrew whined that he didn't get to have enough fun. Zoe was surly, and Billy wouldn't stop talking about the video game cheats he'd learned. Once they were all buckled in the van, Miles thought for sure he could breathe easy, but he had no such luck.

It was like they'd all consumed energy drinks. They shouted over each other to get Tess's attention. Somehow, she managed to follow each of the conversations. She was either a really good actress or she truly had mastered the ability to have multiple conversations at once. To him, it was headache-inducing.

He drove to her house as fast as he could. By the time they arrived, the kids had settled down and guilt tugged at him for being irritable. He parked the car and helped unload everything from their day. The kids trudged up the stairs, and Miles recognized the exhaustion in their movements.

Tess was nothing short of pure efficiency. She hustled Andrew into the shower while Zoe and Billy made sure their bags were packed. Then she questioned what everyone wanted for lunch tomorrow. He felt completely in the way and unneeded, but he was also compelled to stay and watch. This was a side of Tess he'd known existed but hadn't witnessed.

She'd amazed him this morning and he was in complete awe right now. She did this every day. Every week. Nonstop. No wonder she constantly told him she didn't have free time. And why she'd told him early on she didn't have room in her life for an overgrown kid.

It also made him understand how much she needed a break, whether she realized it or not. Going at this pace forever would eventually ruin her.

Andrew appeared in front of her, clean from his shower. "Peanut butter for lunch. Lucky Charms for breakfast. Harry Potter for bed."

"Go upstairs and brush your teeth. Then we can read."

"Already brushed. Hurry up." Then he took off up the stairs.

"Can I read to him?" he asked before considering what he was doing.

Tess stared at him as if just remembering he was there. "You don't have to do that, Miles. You've already done so much today. More than you ever signed on for."

He pulled her into a hug. "I signed on to be with you. Besides, I've never read Harry Potter."

She gasped, and put a hand over her heart. "You poor thing. You have no idea what you've missed out on." She relaxed into a smile. "Thank you for offering. If he puts up a stink, holler, and I'll come rescue you."

"I won't need a rescue."

"Okay. I'll open some wine and maybe we can hang out for a little bit."

He lowered his voice again. "Can we make out?"

"Maybe."