26. Twenty-Six

26

TWENTY-SIX

“ W hat are you doing?”

I found Leo hiding beneath the bar in the speakeasy set. He was on his phone and seemingly hiding from the world.

He looked up. “I can’t be around Bethany and Sylvia right now,” he replied. “They’re monsters.”

I was amused despite myself. It had been three days since my accident. During that time, Leo had been attentive to the point of distraction. We didn’t need to hide our relationship any longer, so we’d managed to hit up a few of the restaurants in the downtown area—no more heading off the main strip for food—and life had been pretty settled. I expected Leo to start pushing me away at some point because I figured he would start freaking out about everybody watching us. If anything, the reverse was true. He seemed bolder and happier than ever.

Bethany and Sylvia were another story, however.

My bustier top—why that was the aesthetic Miles insisted on going with was beyond me—was so tight I had to contort to sit on the floor with him. Leo noticed me struggling and grabbed me around the waist.

“Lean back,” he ordered.

He reclined against the wall at an angle, so when I did the same, using him as a pillow, I could breathe again.

“I hate these tops,” I muttered as Leo brought up the article he’d been reading. It was about box office receipts being down in the streaming age.

“I like them.” Leo’s lips curved against my cheek as he made a big show of looking down my top. “Do you know what’s interesting about them?”

“The fact that they make it look as if I have boobs?”

“Huge boobs,” he corrected. “I’m still uncertain how that’s even happening.” He dropped his phone and moved his hands over my top. They hovered there a moment as he sent me a questioning look.

“Are you asking for permission to touch my boobs?” I was both touched and amused by his gentlemanly show of respect.

“Yes.”

“Go nuts.”

“Thank you.” He kept his hands out of my shirt as he felt the bustier’s seams. “Now, I’ve had these things in my hands so many times over the past few weeks I’ve lost count.”

“These things?”

“That’s what I said.” He smacked a kiss against my cheek. “I happen to like them a great deal. These tops are causing mirages of some sort, though, because you look like Pamela Anderson in these and it makes zero sense.”

His scientific approach to the problem made me laugh. “You are just too much.”

“I like them at night when there’s nothing on them.” He kissed my cheek again. “I don’t know how I feel about these tops because they have every guy in the crew staring hard. It frustrates me.”

“Are you saying you’re a toxic alpha donkey?”

He laughed. “I guess maybe I am.” He stopped feeling me up and wrapped his arms around my waist to hug me from behind. “Are Bethany and Sylvia still out there?” he asked in a low voice.

“Yes, and they’re still fighting about Ed.”

“I just don’t get it.”

“Oh, don’t ask me to explain it. I would rather die than let that guy touch me. Although, do you know what he said to me?” I contorted so I could look at Leo over my shoulder.

“I’m almost afraid to know,” he replied. “Did he touch you?” His eyes were dark.

“No.” I shook my head. “He merely suggested that I might want to trade up—his words, not mine—and join his harem.”

“Did he really use that word?”

“Harem? Yup.”

“What a tool.” Leo moved his hands to my pants. They were painted on but since they weren’t a heavy fabric I could breathe in them. “These are nice.”

“I thought you liked the outfit from the love scene better.”

“The ridiculous lingerie they put you in? That was an interesting visual.”

“Are you not a lingerie guy?”

“Actually, I’m not. I prefer full-fledged nudity whenever possible.”

“I hadn’t noticed.”

He gave my ear a light bite, causing shivers to go down my spine. “Where do you want to eat dinner tonight?” he asked, changing the subject. “I was thinking Finz.”

“You just want one of those pickle martinis.”

“Those are strangely delicious, but I was thinking maybe—I don’t know—I could try the stuffed lobster tonight.”

I was surprised despite myself. “You chickened out last night.”

“I just don’t like weird food.”

“Lobster is not weird, though.”

“It was in my house. We were a meat and potatoes family. I still want to try it.”

“Because I love it so much?”

“Because you sound like you’re having an orgasm when you’re eating it, and I’m naturally intrigued.”

“Ah.” That made perfect sense. I was a vocal eater. “I’m willing to try again. You’re putting too much pressure on yourself, though. You need to order something you know you will eat and then sample my stuffed lobster.”

“My head just went to a really dirty place.”

“That’s normal for you.”

His thumb brushed my rib cage as he considered it. “I kind of want to commit to trying it for an entire meal. Like … it would be a big leap for me.”

There was something he wasn’t saying bubbling under the surface. For days we’d been dancing around what had happened when I’d hit my head. His panic had been real. He wasn’t acting like a guy who was going to pick up and take off in a few weeks. He was acting like a guy who was settling in.

I had questions but was afraid to ask them. I wanted him to stay. I couldn’t ask him to give up everything for me, though. It wasn’t fair. Plus, if I was reading the situation wrong and he hadn’t changed his mind, it would crush me. If I was about to be crushed, I wanted to put it off as long as possible.

“Can I ask you something?”

He nodded. “Always.”

“It’s about your parents.”

He didn’t freeze this time. He simply waited, his hands still roaming my midriff in a light caress.

“Do you ever think about going back to your hometown long enough to tell them exactly how you feel about them?”

His nose wrinkled. “Why would I want to do that?”

“Closure.”

“I have closure. The door to my life is closed for them.”

“But … there are photos of us in the tabloids,” I reminded him. “They just came out yesterday.”

“I saw.” Leo was back to grinning. “I particularly liked the one of us talking to Michael Myers. I didn’t even know that the photographer had taken that one. It looks as if we’re just chilling in a horror movie.”

“I like that one, too,” I admitted. “It makes me laugh. Real paparazzi are going to show up, though—I think they’re actually more interested in getting photos of Ed and his harem, but they’ll settle for photos of us too—and that means we’re going to be appearing in a lot of places. Don’t you think that means your parents will decide to make another money attempt?”

He moved his thumb to my exposed collarbone and traced it. “I haven’t really considered it,” he admitted. “It does make a strange sort of sense. The only time I’ve been on the gossip sites before this is because I lost my temper … or got called difficult by a co-star. This might make them see dollar signs.”

“If you were to go to them—maybe once we’re done filming—you could tell them exactly how you feel about what happened when you were a kid.”

“They wouldn’t care.”

“But you would. You could unload all of the feelings you’ve been keeping locked away. It doesn’t matter what you say, just that you get a chance to say it. Then, when you’re finished, you’ll be able to put them behind you.”

“I’m not sure what I even want to say to them.”

“That’s okay, too.” I gripped his fingers and squeezed until he looked down at me. “I could go with you. I mean … only if you wanted. I wouldn’t go if you didn’t want me there. I could be your backup, though.”

He looked genuinely touched but shook his head all the same. “Sam, I would never let you anywhere near my father. I would lose my shit if he even looked at you funny. Then I would have to kill him.”

He was serious enough that I merely nodded. “You could at least talk to your mother.”

“She’s lost to me, Sam. It’s okay. I think I was always better off without those two in my life.”

“Definitely. I want you to be able to let it go, though.”

“I have let it go.”

“Really?” I cocked an eyebrow. “Are you sure?”

He hesitated, then sighed. “Fine. I haven’t let it go completely. I’m not dwelling on it, though. Not anymore. There were years when I did dwell on it—when everything I did was about showing them I was better than them—but I don’t even really think about them any longer.”

“What do you think about?”

“Weirdly, I think about you.” He nipped in for a kiss. “I also think about how this top makes you look as if you have twice as much boob as you actually do.” He gave me a friendly squeeze and then laughed when I elbowed him. “It was just an observation.”

I leaned in for a kiss. Before we could settle into it, though, another figure decided to squeeze under the bar with us. It was Dexter.

“Miles is looking for you,” he said to Leo.

“Why?” Leo didn’t look happy with the news, but he kept a firm grip on me so I didn’t try to escape now that we had an audience. “Is he going to try to make me show more fang again? That really bugs me when he tries to get me to show more fang.”

“It could be worse,” I argued. “He could want you to show more boob.”

“My boobs are nice. I’m perfectly fine going there.”

“Ha, ha.”

Dexter tilted his head to the side. “Aw,” he cooed, earning a death glare from Leo. “You guys are so cute it makes me want to puke.”

“Knock it off,” Leo warned. “Why does Miles want to see me?”

“I have no idea. He seems frazzled.”

“It’s because Bethany and Sylvia are rehearsing to be extras on the set of The Exorcist .”

“They are evil,” Dexter agreed. “I think that one of them is going to be killed off in the finale.”

“I’ve read the finale script,” I argued. “They both survive.”

“That was before they started being idiots,” Dexter replied. “I heard the writer is coming to rework the finale.”

That was news to me. “Just because they’re fighting over Ed?”

“I’m not sure.”

Leo let loose a drawn-out sigh. “I don’t want to get up. I was having a perfectly good time before you showed up and ruined things.”

“Sorry.” Dexter didn’t look sorry. “I figured you would want to know so you could get it out of the way.”

“I do want to get it out of the way,” he agreed. He kissed my cheek again before giving me a light pat. “I’m going to push you up.”

I braced myself and sucked in my gut until I was back on my feet.

“I’m going to see what Miles wants,” he said. “He’d better not think he’s making me stay late tonight. We have plans for dinner.”

“Before you get worked up, just see what it is,” I countered. “Miles is genuinely interested in making sure we’re as happy as possible on the set. It could be something minor.”

“That’s not normally how luck works for me.” He rested his hand on top of my hair, making sure not to push it back or mess with my makeup. “We have one scene left. Then we can get out of here. I’m going to make sure that sticks.”

Before he could lean in for a kiss, Miles entered the room. He had a binder in his hand, seemed distracted, and only briefly glanced at us before he did a double take.

“There you are, Leo.” His tone was brisk when he headed in our direction. “I just heard the news. I would’ve appreciated a heads-up about it before it broke, but we’re bringing in the writers to deal with the other situation anyway, so we can rewrite the finale to handle your situation as well.”

Confusion washed over me. “What situation?” When I looked at Leo, all of the color had washed from his face. That’s when I knew. “Oh.”

“Miles, I haven’t made any decisions on that front,” Leo said hurriedly. “I just … I…” He looked helpless when his gaze moved to me. “Sam.” That was all he said. Just my name.

Without realizing I was going to do it, I put a bit of space between us. “You got the part.”

“Yeah.” He didn’t look happy about it.

“When did you find out? I only ask because we could’ve celebrated.” That wasn’t why I was asking. I needed to know, though.

Leo looked miserable. “I found out the day you were hurt.”

That was three days ago. He’d been withholding that information from me for three full days. “I see.”

“I didn’t know what to say,” he explained. “I didn’t even know how I felt. That part was all I wanted for months. I prepared for that audition hardcore. And yet when I got the news…” He trailed off and dragged his hand through his hair.

He didn’t want to hurt me. That much was obvious. That’s why he’d kept the news to himself. Did he think it would somehow be easier if he announced the day before he was leaving that it was over? That was the part I couldn’t wrap my head around.

“I wish you would’ve told me,” I said in a low voice.

“Me, too.” Miles didn’t look happy. “If I knew you were going to take this role just so you could abandon it, I would’ve hired somebody else. What’s done is done, though.” He held up his hand to silence Leo. “I’ll figure out a way to kill your character off, and then we’ll have to bring somebody else in.” He shot me an apologetic look. “We’ll figure it out, Sam. We’ll come up with a great character and give you a terrific arc.”

“Thank you,” I said dumbly. I was numb to the point of no return.

“As for the last scene today, we’re going to add it to the shoot tomorrow,” Miles said. “We’re done for the day.” He cast a dark look toward the other side of the room, to where Bethany and Sylvia were glowering at one another. “We have more than one problem to solve.”

It was a relief when he left. I didn’t want to burst out crying in front of him. I also didn’t want to have this conversation with Leo on the set where anybody could overhear us. “I should hit the shower.” I was careful not to make eye contact with Leo. “I smell, and I need to rest a little bit.” I forced myself to meet his gaze. “I know we said we were getting dinner but I’m tired. Let’s do it tomorrow or something, huh?”

I didn’t wait for his response. I headed for the door. I needed to put some distance between us.

“Sam, please, don’t walk away from me.” Leo’s voice cracked. I still couldn’t look at him, though, because I would be the one who cracked into a million pieces if I looked into his eyes right now. “I don’t know what I’m going to do. That’s why I didn’t say anything.”

That was the most ridiculous thing I’d ever heard. “This is your dream part. It’s going to launch you back to the tier you’ve been waiting for. Of course you know what you’re going to do.”

“Actually, I don’t,” he countered. “I’ve been trying to figure it out. I just … don’t know what I’m supposed to do here.”

Dexter didn’t bother saying his goodbye. He just slunk away. That was a wise move.

“You’re going to do what’s best for you.” It took everything I had to keep my voice from breaking. “We had an agreement, right? You were always going to take this role. You were always going to move on to bigger and better things.”

“Sam, please look at me,” Leo begged.

I couldn’t. I was right on the edge. “I’m really happy for you.” My voice broke when I said it. “You worked really hard, and this is what you wanted, so I’m proud of you.”

“Baby, don’t you say goodbye to me right now,” Leo barked. “Please, just … we can talk about it. I’ve wanted to talk about it with you since I got the news. I just didn’t want to upset you.”

“I’m not upset,” I lied. “This is exactly what you wanted, and I want you to be happy.” Somehow—and I wasn’t certain how—I managed to lift my chin and meet his gaze. My heart shattered in my chest at the anguished look on his face. He didn’t want to hurt me. He’d said that over and over again. I’d been the one to put myself in the position to be hurt. I had to give him what he needed here. It wasn’t fair to torture him.

“I’m glad for you,” I insisted. “You’re going to do great things. We always knew there was an expiration date on this relationship.”

“I don’t know if I’m going to take it,” Leo argued. “I have until tomorrow night to decide. I just … we can talk it out.”

“No.” I shook my head. “This is your future. This is what you wanted. I can’t stand in the way of that simply because you don’t want to hurt me. You have to do what’s right for you.”

With that, I turned toward the door. “I’ll see you later. Again, congratulations.”

“Sam!” He barked my name.

I didn’t look over my shoulder, though. I simply walked through the door, head held high. I had already lost him, even if he didn’t want to see it.