34. Xander

Xander

The morning sun streamed in, casting long shadows across the room as we busied ourselves with my departure. Bags lay open on the floor, slowly getting filled with my belongings. Ry and I tried to keep things light, our laughter echoing off the walls – a hollow sound that couldn"t quite mask the undercurrent of sadness.

As I watched Ry fold my clothes with meticulous care, reality sunk its teeth into me. The countdown had begun; each tick of the clock was another moment slipping through my fingers like sand. I tried to etch every detail into memory – Ry's furrowed brow as he folded my shirts just so, the way his laugh lines crinkled when he smiled... Every second was precious now.

I felt exposed, vulnerable – like an open book for anyone to read. My chest tightened at the thought of being miles away from everything familiar – from Ry. But beneath all that fear and uncertainty was a glimmer of excitement – a new chapter waiting to be written. And as much as I hated goodbyes, I knew this wasn't really one. It was just... see you later.

His hands paused over a pair of mismatched socks – one green, one blue. "These are your lucky ones, right? Don"t want you blowing your first game in Newark."

"Wouldn't dream of it." I grinned at him, my heart twinging at his attempt to keep things normal. "Remember game 3 against Buffalo?" The locker room after the game had been a pressure cooker of tension, with everyone stewing in their own disappointment. Ry had been sitting on the bench talking to no one, his brooding eyes fixed on the floor.

Ry"s eyes lit up with the memory and he chuckled. "How could I forget? That was a disaster."

"I told you, ‘Tough break out there, but we"ll bounce back next time.'"

He shook his head, grinning. "I was so pissed – we could have won if our heads were in the game. But I can"t believe I said, "Save your pep talks for someone else, kid' to you."

"Yeah, that was rude."

We both burst into laughter.

"I think one of my favorite memories was when we visited Fur Ever Homes Animal Shelter. Remember the Pomeranian that caught your attention?"

"My attention? It was you who was like a kid in a candy store."

I grinned, feeling the warmth of the memory. "Ahhh. But it was Grumpleberry whose fingers were itching to pet her."

He rolled his eyes. "Only because she was fluffy."

I couldn"t resist needling him further. "You secretly adored her," I said, just as I had done back then.

Ry laughed, shaking his head again. "Yeah, yeah. Maybe I did. She was cute."

"Got a little something for you." I fished out a small plush toy from my bag. A Pomeranian, a tiny replica of the one we"d admired at the animal shelter not too long ago.

His eyes ballooned with surprise. "For me?" His voice held an equal measure of disbelief and amusement.

I simply nodded and passed him the plushie, our fingers brushing in the exchange. His laughter bounced around us, light-hearted and playful as he squished the toy in his hands. The back-and-forth banter that ensued felt like a tangible representation of what we were – tender moments peppered with affectionate ribbing.

"Hold on," I cut in before he could retort to my last jest. "There"s another thing." Once again, I delved into my bag. Handing Ry a container filled with neatly folded notes, I took a deep breath, the weight of the moment settling between us. "I wanted to give you something to hold onto while we"re apart," I explained, my voice steady but my heart pounding. "Every note has a little message for you. And don't worry, you'll know when to read each one."

His brow furrowed in curiosity as he studied the bottle. "How will I know when to open them?"

I smiled, pulling out the first note from the bottle. "See this one? It has today"s date on it. Start with this."

Ry unfolded the note, his eyes scanning the words. I could see the emotion welling up as he read aloud, "'Ry, even though I"m leaving tomorrow, we have today. Let"s live it to the fullest.'" He looked up at me, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. "Xander, this is... it"s perfect. How did you find the time to do something like this?"

I shrugged, a soft smile accompanying it. "I"d do anything humanly possible to make you happy, Ry. You mean that much to me."

Ry set the container aside and closed the distance between us, wrapping me in a tight embrace. The warmth of his body against mine, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat – it all felt like home.

We stood there for a moment, just holding each other, letting the impending separation melt away in the comfort of our shared silence.

His eyes were deep pools of emotions that reflected my own feelings back at me. "Thank you," he whispered, his voice thick. "This means everything to me."

I pulled back slightly, looking deeply into his eyes. "Love you, Berry." My heart pounded against my chest as though it wanted to leap out and join with his.

His lips curved into a soft smile at my nickname for him. "Love you too, Sunshine." I'd never stop loving the way the endearment rolled off his tongue so naturally; it was as if he had been saying it forever.

Ry lowered his head then, and our lips met in a kiss that set every nerve ending on fire. It wasn"t just a kiss; it was an affirmation of our bond, our connection. He kissed me like I was the only thing that mattered in this world – like he"d been wandering through an endless desert and had finally found his oasis.

As Ry"s lips moved over mine with a passion that left no room for doubt about his feelings for me, I got lost in the moment. Each taste of him was like a sip from the fountain of life itself – sweet and intoxicating. His touch gave me goosebumps, and a wave of warmth surged through my body like a wildfire. My dick hardened. I wanted to fuck him so hard, he'd feel me inside him until we saw each other again.

He gently pulled us apart, despite my protests for us to take things further. Grinning, he dipped into a bag in his closet. "I"ve got something for you too."

Ry handed me a signed team jersey, a collective farewell gift from my former teammates. "It"s a reminder that you'll always be part of our squad, no matter where you are."

As I traced the inked words, each signature felt like a handshake, each message a hug. Jester"s message leaped out in bold, bringing a grin to my lips: If you meet The Great One, tell him I taught you everything you know. Just don"t laugh too hard when he believes it! I burst out in laughter, drawing my boyfriend's attention to Jester"s witty farewell.

Ry chuckled, his eyes crinkling with fondness. "Leave it to Jester to lighten the mood."

I nodded, a warmth spreading in my chest. "I"ll make sure to remember his wisdom if I ever cross paths with Gretzky. And hey, a little laughter never hurt anyone."

But Ry didn"t stop there. He revealed another gift – a keychain adorned with two charms: a pint-sized hockey stick and a compact compass. "The hockey stick's meaning goes without saying; the sport is our mutual passion." Then he took in a deep breath before exhaling slowly. "But the compass is to remind you that no matter which city you travel to, no matter how far apart we are, you must navigate your way back home to me."

"God, Ry. You're killing me here."

"I've got one more thing for you." Ry dangled an envelope in the air.

"And what's this?" I took it from his hand.

"It's a little something to keep us connected while you're away. Open it, baby."

I carefully tore open the envelope and pulled out a handwritten note. "‘To my Sunshine,'" I read Ry's note aloud. "‘I've made a playlist for you on Spotify. Each song is a reminder of us, of how much you mean to me. Just scan the QR code below to access it.'" I glanced at him, my heart overflowing with emotion.

His expression was soft, a smile playing on his lips. "I wanted you to have something to listen to when you miss me. Each song expresses how much you mean to me."

"This… this is amazing."

Ry gestured to the note. "I included a little explanation for each song too. Like why I chose it and what it means to me."

My eyes scanned the list of songs and the notes he'd written. "‘Fight Song' by Rachel Platten, because it's our anthem of resilience and perfectly captures our strength and unity through every obstacle."

"Exactly. And there's ‘Home' by Michael Bublé – because you always said that's how you feel when we're together."

I nodded. I could feel the burn behind my eyes. "‘Stand by You' by Orion Skye," I continued, my voice choked with emotion. "Because we promised to stand by each other through everything."

Ry reached out, taking my hand in his. "I just wanted to give you something to hold onto. Something to remind you that no matter where I am, I'm always with you."

I squeezed his hand. "I'll listen to it every day, and I'll think of you."

Ry gently pulled me towards him and wrapped his strong arms around me. I rested my head in the crook of his neck.

Several minutes after, I raised my head and I looked him deep in his eyes. "Make love to me," I breathed out, the words barely more than a whisper.

Reaching for the lube on our bedside table, I prepared us both slowly. "Hands on the mirror."

My boyfriend did as he was told.

"Ready?" I asked Ry softly before pushing into him slowly. He moaned low in response and I couldn"t help but curse at how good he felt around me.

Our movements were slow and deliberate at first but soon gave way to something more frantic – punctuated by sharp intakes of breath and whispered curses. The sight of us in the mirror only fueled my desire further – watching as our bodies moved together in a rhythm that was uniquely ours.

As the heat coiled tighter within me, I reached down to stroke Ry, matching my hand's movements with my thrusts. His moans grew louder and I knew we were both close.

With a final thrust, we came seconds apart from each other – our cries echoing off the walls as pleasure washed over us. As our breathing slowly returned to normal, I pulled him closer against me.

"I love you," I murmured into his ear.

He kissed the arm that was still wrapped around his body. I felt him smile against my skin. "Love you too," he whispered back, his words wrapping around me like a warm blanket.

When the first rays of morning sunlight started to filter in, I woke up in the peacefulness of our apartment. Ry was still sound asleep next to me.

I thought about all that happened yesterday. Our tangled bodies, whispered promises of future visits, scheduled calls, video chats, and plans for when we would visit each other. We had spent the evening cocooned in each other"s arms, swaying gently to Orion Skye songs – I'd totally come to love the band, especially after going to their concert months ago.

Ry"s answering smile was slow and sweet, his hands reaching for the hem of my t-shirt. He pulled it over my head in one swift movement, his fingers trailing down my bare chest, causing goosebumps to erupt on my skin. I mirrored his actions, tugging at his shirt until it joined mine on the floor.

We explored each other with our mouths and hands – licking, sucking, nibbling. Every taste of Ry was intoxicating; the saltiness of his skin, the unique scent that was purely him. His lips found my nipples and I gasped at the sensation, arching into him as he teased them with his tongue.

My own mouth found its way all over his body: his strong neck, his broad shoulders, his sexy pecs, his dick, all the way to the back of his knees – a sensitive spot that had him squirming. We were laughing then – breathless chuckles muffled against skin as we discovered new ways to make each other tremble with desire.

The words we whispered were soft and intimate – declarations of love interspersed with ridiculous jokes that only made sense to us. It was an odd mix – this combination of intense passion and light-hearted banter –but it felt so right.

As we held each other close, time slipped away too quickly. Only a couple of hours ago we'd surrendered to sleep – as if by staying awake we could somehow slow down my inevitable departure.

I slipped out of bed silently and headed for a shower before going to the kitchen to prepare smoothies for both of us. It was way too early for anything heavier in our stomachs.

When Ry joined me downstairs, freshly showered but with a dullness in his eyes that wasn"t there before – his skin lacking its usual vibrance – my heart clenched. We rushed towards each other instinctively, burying ourselves into one another's embrace as if trying to memorize the feel of it.

We stayed like that for what felt like an eternity until reality nudged us apart. Sipping our smoothies in silence, thoughts whirled around like a silent storm within us.

The buzz from my phone broke through our silence – a message from his mom to me; words of encouragement and reminders of my strength.

"Ready?" I asked, trying to steady my trembling voice.

"Yeah. Let"s get you to the airport."

Drawing strength from his love and support from his family was all I needed at this moment. They were so kind, much more supportive than my parents ever were. I only got a tag from one of Judy's social media posts that gushed about how happy she was that "her Alexander" got traded to the majors. Sure, I could block her, but that wouldn"t erase the sting of their indifference. It wouldn"t change the fact that they never truly understood or supported me.

Instead, I focused on the warmth and acceptance radiating from Ry's family. They welcomed me not just as Ry's partner, but as part of their family.

When Ry and I reached the airport, the reality of our imminent separation hit us like a tidal wave. We stood in front of the departure gate, trying to prolong our last moments together.

Ry's eyes were a storm of emotions. He reached out, pulling me into a tight embrace. I buried my face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his familiar scent, wanting to imprint it in my memory.

"You're going to be amazing."

"I hope so."

I know so. And I'm here rooting for you."

I choked on a laugh. "That, I do know."

We shared a lingering kiss. When we pulled apart, I looked into his eyes, trying to memorize every detail – the way they crinkled at the corners, the warmth in their depths.

"Promise me you"ll take care of yourself." Ry's hand gently cupped my cheek.

"I promise," I said, placing my hand over his. "And you promise me the same. Keep pushing forward. Your time in the NAPH will come, I know it."

"Love you, Sunshine."

"Berry, I love you, too."

With one final hug, we reluctantly let go. I took a few steps toward the security checkpoint, then turned back one last time. Ry stood there, watching me, his face a canvas of pride, sadness, and hope, his hands shoved in his pockets. He gave me a small, encouraging smile, and I tried to return it, though my heart was breaking.

With that image imprinted in my mind, I turned and walked into the airport. As soon as I was out of sight, I made a beeline for the washroom. Locking myself in one of the cubicles, I let the tears come. The sobs wracked my body, the emotional floodgates opening now that I was alone.

Leaving Ry behind was the hardest thing I'd ever done.