33. Bennett

Bennett

The door to Coach"s office swung open, and Xander stepped into the hallway. He looked sturdy but fragile, like a glass statue. His blond hair, usually tousled, was even more disheveled, as if he"d been anxiously raking his fingers through it during his short conversation with Coach.

His eyes met mine – those eyes that usually sparkled like the ocean on a sunny day were dull, their shine dimmed by his internal struggle. Was it more than a trade to the majors that had passed between him and Coach to leave him looking so... conflicted?

"Sunshine," I began, my voice echoing slightly in the empty corridor. But words failed me as I saw joy and apprehension etched deeply across his features. It was clear that whatever had transpired in that office had left him balancing precariously on an emotional tightrope.

Seeing Xander like this stirred something deep within me. His turmoil felt like my own. Our bond was that strong.

Xander paused, his gaze flicking down to the floor before meeting mine again. He swallowed hard. "It"s true." His words hung heavy in the air between us. "I"m heading to Newark. Day after tomorrow."

A wave of emotion crashed over me – pride for my boyfriend, fear curling cold in my stomach at the thought of him leaving, and this gaping hole that opened up inside me at his words.

"Told you they'd snatch you up." My voice came out hoarse. I gripped around the edge of his jersey and drew him to me. "Sunshine, I'm proud of you." Cupping his cheeks with both hands, I pressed my lips to his.

Inside though? Inside, it felt like someone was carving out a piece of me with a dull knife.

Intertwining my fingers with his, I led him to our special spot. The arena"s noise faded into a dull hum. Tucked away amidst the sprawling concrete was a small alcove, hidden behind a forgotten maintenance door. It had just enough room for two people to sit shoulder-to-shoulder, surrounded by rough stone walls that were cold and damp to the touch. A single dim lightbulb overhead cast long shadows.

We settled into silence.

Pride welled up at his impending success; yet it was tinged with melancholy – akin to watching your favorite ship sail off into the sunset while you"re left stranded on shore. "I"m happy for you. You know that, right? This is your dream."

Xander"s response came softly as he traced patterns on my hand with his fingers. "But it's not what I dreamed for us."

I swallowed hard, the boulder in my throat making it difficult to speak. "I know. But we"ll figure it out. We always do."

He looked up at me, his eyes filled with determination and sadness. "I just wish we could do it together, you know?"

"Me too," I whispered, squeezing his hand. "But this is your chance. You have to take it."

Xander nodded, his lips forming a thin line. "Promise me you"ll keep pushing, that you"ll get up there with me."

"I promise." The words were both a vow and a challenge. "We"ll make it happen. Just a little longer apart, and then we"ll be together again."

I wrestled with this bittersweet mix of joy and sorrow as I studied our fingers laced together. As Xander's departure drew nearer, I felt like a kite about to lose its string; excited for him to soar yet terrified at the thought of standing alone on solid ground.

He pulled me into a tight hug, his breath warm against my neck. "I believe in us, Bennett. I always have."

I held him close, trying to memorize the feel of his embrace, knowing it might be a while before we"d have this again. "I believe in us too, Sunshine. Always."

Determined to make the most of our dwindling time, Xander and I went back to the apartment. The place, filled with memories, seemed louder as his departure loomed. After sharing a frozen pizza in silence, we sank into the worn-out couch and cuddled, letting the familiar fabric cradle us as we grappled with our imminent separation.

The conversation turned introspective. "I'm really proud of you," I said, my voice shaking. "And I'd tell you that a thousand times every day if I could. But... it feels like I've missed my shot, you know? It's a strange combo – happiness for you and pain for me."

Xander"s voice was soft as he replied, "If only there was a way for you to join me…"

My mind wandered off to my family – their dreams all interwoven with mine. "I wish it was just about us." As I looked at him, I tried to keep my emotions in check. "But there's more at stake here. My family is counting on me. This isn't just about making it big in hockey; it"s about their future too." I let out a sigh before continuing, "If I make it to the majors – that"s college tuition for Connor and Chloe. That"s a new house for Mom and Dad where they don"t have to worry about leaky roofs or drafty windows anymore."

The thought of Mom sparked another concern – her health. She"d been cancer-free for years now but what if it came back? Making it big would mean affording better treatments if needed.

Tears welled up in Xander"s eyes as he looked at me. "If you would allow me to..."

I shushed him gently by kissing him fully on those plush lips of his. Yet his words hung in the air, a reminder of the weight I carried. But as heavy as it was, it was a burden I chose to bear alone for my family.

Xander"s arms wrapped around me, his fingers tracing familiar paths on my skin. The physical touch was comforting, but it was more than that – it was the unspoken connection we had, the way we could draw strength from each other in times like these.

"No matter what happens," I found myself whispering into the quiet room, "I want you to know that I'll always be here for you. We'll figure this out together."

He took a deep breath, his fingers entwined with mine. "Ry, I know this isn"t going to be easy. But every moment I've spent with you has shown me how strong we are. We can handle this."

I squeezed his hand, feeling the future pressing down on us. "I"ve never been more sure of anything. You"re not just my boyfriend; you"re my everything. Distance can"t touch what we have."

Xander smiled, a mix of sadness and hope in his eyes. "When I think about the future, I see you in it. Maybe not in the same room every day, but definitely by my side."

"I see the same thing. And we'll make sure it happens, one day at a time."

He leaned in, resting his forehead against mine. "Promise me you'll never doubt that. Even when it gets tough."

"I promise," I replied, feeling the warmth of his breath on my skin. "And promise me you'll remember that no matter where you go, a part of you stays here with me."

He nodded, his eyes shining with unshed tears. "I promise, Ry. We'll get through this."

His words sank into me and settled somewhere deep within my chest. There were no guarantees about what tomorrow would bring, but while the future was uncertain, our love was not.

Yet beneath all this hope and reassurance lurked a gnawing fear – one that was hard to shake off. In less than 48 hours, I knew I would have to let him go. It was a reality that left me grappling with my own vulnerabilities – a stark contrast to the image of strength I"d always strived to project.

As Xander's grip tightened around me and his breath warmed my neck, doubts began creeping in again. Would we really be able to make it work? Would our love withstand whatever storm came our way?

But even as these thoughts swirled in my mind, I held onto Xander tighter still – not wanting to let go just yet – drawing comfort from his presence while I struggled with my inner turmoil in silence.