35. Bennett

Bennett

The reality of our parting hit me hard as I watched the love of my life disappear into the airport. I forced myself to turn around, walking back to my car on autopilot. Each step was heavier than the last. The drive home was a blur, my mind replaying our final moments together – the embrace, the kiss, the whispered promises.

Inside the vehicle was stifling, and the lump in my throat grew tighter with each passing second. I managed to make it a few miles before the emotions that overwhelmed me became too much to bear. Finding a safe spot on the side of the road, I pulled over and turned off the engine.

As soon as the car was in park, I broke down. The tears I'd been holding back came rushing out, hot and unstoppable. I gripped the steering wheel, my knuckles white, and let out a guttural sob. The sound of my own crying filled the car, a raw and unfiltered release of all the emotions I'd been trying to keep in check.

I leaned my forehead against the cool steering wheel, the leather a stark contrast to the heat of my tears. He hadn't even left my side an hour ago, yet the weight of my sunshine's absence was crushing, an ache that radiated from my chest to every part of my being. I felt the loss acutely, the empty seat beside me a glaring reminder of the void his departure left.

Through the tears, I replayed my parting words to him. "I'm here rooting for you." His response, "That, I do know," echoed in my mind, a bittersweet comfort that only made the ache sharper. I clung to his promise that we'd get through this together, but in this moment, the distance was insurmountable.

I reached for my phone, my hands trembling. I opened the playlist I had made for Xander, the one I'd given him just before he left. I pressed play, and our songs filled the car, the familiar melody wrapping around me like a hug. The music brought a fresh wave of tears, but also a strange sense of solace. The first song, "Fix You" by Coldplay, played softly, followed by "Unchained Melody" by The Righteous Brothers, and then "I Don"t Want to Miss a Thing" by Aerosmith. Each song was a reminder of us, of our love, and our moments together.

I stayed there for what felt like hours, letting the music and my emotions wash over me. Slowly, the intensity of my sobs subsided, leaving a hollow, exhausted feeling in their wake. I took a few deep breaths, trying to steady myself.

"I can do this," I whispered to the empty car. "We can do this."

With a final, shaky breath, I wiped my eyes and started the engine. The road ahead was daunting, but I knew I had to keep going. For Xander, for us. As I merged back into traffic, I held onto the hope that our love would bridge the miles between us.