39. Harper

39

HARPER

I lugged the last of the groceries inside, plopping them down on the table. I slumped in my chair, exhausted from the back and forth, up and down the porch steps. I heard that women were supposed to have more energy in the second trimester, but I hadn't felt that yet, and I was nearing the end.Having spent the first two months of my pregnancy completely unaware that I had a tiny human growing inside me, everything else seemed to fly by, leaving me not only feeling rushed, but completely unprepared for the impending birth. In just two weeks, I would enter the third trimester, and I already felt like I was ready to deliver.

Three months had passed since I walked away from my home and my brother. It was a drastic change from what I was used to. Instead of having someone at home with me every night, I sat in this huge house, all alone, with nothing but books to entertain me. When I left, I also dropped my studies, knowing it wasn't the time to go back to school.

Besides, I was flying under the radar. Edu would have caught on right away to where I was. Not that he was looking for me. If he even realized I was gone yet, he was probably reveling in the fact that he was off the hook.

I shoved out of my chair and winced at the twinge in my back. What I wouldn't give for a back massage. As I started putting away groceries, a familiar voice called out to me from the front porch.

I hurried over, waving my neighbor in. "Come on in!"

She hurried in, then shut the door behind her. I'd only shut the screen door as I carried in the groceries, and now the bitter chill from outside had seeped its way into the living room.

"It's freezing outside," I laughed. "I'm surprised you left the house."

"Well, I wanted to get you these jams before I forgot. Plus, I needed a reason to get out of the house." She was setting down a jar and froze at her words. "Um…decorating is getting out of control," she smiled.

Decorating. Yes, her husband was decorating her in bruises. They were more obvious when I first moved in and she wasn't wearing so many layers of clothes. Now, she was able to hide them for the most part.

"Where's Cody today?"

"Oh, he's at a friend's house playing. He'll be gone most of the day."

That was code for her husband didn't want him in the house, and that left him time to beat on her.

"Well, you're welcome to stay as long as you want. I was just putting away groceries."

"Oh, no. I can't. If I don't get back soon…"

I understood completely. I hated that her husband was such a bastard, and I wished there was a way I could help her, but the one time I'd called the police, she'd only landed in the hospital. She refused to press charges or even say that it was her husband hitting her. She was terrified and begged me not to do anything else.

I would obey her wishes as long as Cody wasn't involved. But the minute that bastard laid a finger on that little boy, I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut. As it was, it felt wrong not to try and help more.

"Would you like a cup of tea before you go?"

"Oh, why not," she said, pulling off her gloves. "You don't have any decorations up."

I shook my head. I didn't feel much like decorating this year, but I also didn't have the energy to put it all up on my own. "Maybe next year."

"You should get one of those small tabletop trees. At least then you'd have something."

With nothing to put under it.

"Listen," she said, turning to face me in her seat. "I know it's none of my business…" She hesitated, probably because she knew what she was about to ask me was intrusive, given her own situation. "Are you okay?"

I smiled at her more than I would have if she had asked me three months ago. "Yeah, I'm good."

"You're sure? I hate to think of you in this house all alone."

I looked around at the old house and smiled. "We get along pretty well. Besides, it gives me plenty of time to read."

"You and your books," she laughed. "I swear, I was talking to you the other day, and it was like you were lost in a good story."

Yes, I had gone back to daydreaming, but it was mostly about getting a foot massage or having a man hold me at night with his hand pressed to my belly, telling me he would always be there for me.

I kept the face I envisioned purposely blank. If I started to wish it was Edu, I would never move past him. Even after the way he spoke to me, I was still hopelessly in love with him.

"I tend to do that a lot."

"Thinking of a man you left behind?" Her eyes dropped to my stomach. It wasn't huge, but it showed enough for her to realize I wasn't just fat.

"I try not to." I ran my hand over my stomach and sighed. "He didn't want a family."

"So, what made you move out here?"

I shrugged. "Better to live out here than in the same town with him."

Her face shuddered in disbelief. "I can't imagine."

I smiled at her, refusing to think about it anymore. "It's done and over with. The important thing is taking care of this one," I said, rubbing my tummy lovingly, "and making sure I'm ready for whatever comes. "

"Have you been shopping yet?"

I hadn't done a thing. From the moment I moved out here, I tried to get myself excited by thinking about getting some onesies or little socks, but then I thought about how I would be doing all of that on my own, and I just couldn't bring myself to do it. So, instead, I distracted myself with work and getting lost in books about women who had it so much better than me.

"No, I'll get to that soon enough."

"What about the baby's room? Have you decided where that will be?"

"Next to mine, upstairs." Wow, this conversation was seriously depressing me. Thankfully, Oreo jumped up on the counter and rifled through the bags. If I didn't get him down, he would tear into my food like the mad cat he was. It gave me the perfect opportunity to change the subject.

"I should put away these groceries before Oreo eats all of them."

"And I should get home. Gabe will be wondering where I am. Let me know if you need more of those."

"Thank you. I appreciate it."

"Any time," she said as she pulled on her hat and headed for the door. I watched her walk down the steps, holding the railing to keep from slipping on the icy steps. It was hard to believe that it was December and we were already facing such horrible weather. But it was South Dakota. I supposed the weather would always be a little colder.

After putting everything away, I snuggled on my couch under a blanket with a book. Oreo curled up on my lap, purring loudly as I slowly ran my fingers over his soft fur. But no matter how hard I tried to get into it, I couldn't stop thinking about what Willow had said about decorating. I wasn't even in the mood for putting up a tree, but if I kept avoiding things that would make me want a life I would never have, how would I ever move on?

Tomorrow, I would stop pretending this wasn't really happening to me. Tomorrow, I would go shopping and get a damn tree to put up. Tomorrow, I would give my brother a call and stop avoiding the inevitable question about how I was doing .

I was here and I wasn't crying myself to sleep every night. That had to be enough for now.

I jerked on the rope one last time, slipping on the ice in the process. I fell on my ass, then screamed as I slammed my fist onto the porch. It was times like this I wished I had a man with me to do the hard work. But I would not be defeated. I would topple this tree and get it inside on my own.

"Harper!"

I waved at Willow as she ran over, her hand around her son Cody's as they crossed the street. I glanced in her driveway and noted her husband wasn't home, which was probably the only reason she was out of her house.

"What are you doing?" she laughed, walking up the steps to my house. "You should have had it delivered."

"That would have cost another fifty dollars." Even though I was working and saving as much money as possible, I still hadn't lost my thrifty attitude.

She held out her hand for me and I gladly took it, getting to my feet. "I would have paid the fifty dollars. Well, if I had any money. Come on. Let's get this inside."

"I say we leave it right where it is. I'll just throw some lights over it and call it a day."

"I hardly think that would bring you much joy as it rotted on your steps. What do you think, Cody?"

"Inside!" he grinned, jumping up and down.

"Well, who can argue with that?" I sighed. "But you have to help me decorate it."

His eyes widened as he stared up at me. "You'll let me help?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't I?"

His face fell slightly and Willow cleared her throat. "It's um…not something he gets to do at home."

"Well, you can decorate as much of the tree as you want," I said, bending over to talk to him. Cody was four and so freaking cute. I hoped when my child arrived, I would be able to look at him without thinking about Edu every second of the day, but I doubted that.

"Alright, let's get this thing inside," Willow said, getting the heaviest part of the tree. She did most of the work while she let me pretend I was helping her. Mostly, she just had me stand to the side and hold open the door. "Am I clear on that side?"

I rolled my eyes at her. "Yes. Can I help yet?"

"This is the easy part," she said, huffing and puffing as she dragged it the rest of the way inside.

"I'll grab the ornaments," I chuckled, heading back outside. I walked carefully down the steps and went to the trunk, grabbing the bags from the box store. I probably bought way too much, but as Willow said, I needed to get in the spirit.

By the time I walked back inside, Willow already had the tree standing upright and was laying on the ground underneath the thick branches, trying to adjust it so it would stand up straight.

"To the left," I called out. I laughed as she struggled to get it into place.

"How's that?"

"Um…a little to the right," I said without even really looking at the tree.

"Which is it? Left or right?" she called out, clearly frustrated.

"Maybe…maybe right." I bit back another laugh, winking at Cody as he cupped his little hand around his mouth and giggled.

Willow peeked out from under the tree, narrowing her eyes at her son. "Traitor."

She got up and rushed over to him, swinging him up in her arms. He squealed in laughter as she started zooming around the living room with him. His little screams were uplifting, but I couldn't help but be sad that my child wouldn't have the same thing with Edu. I knew he could be so amazing if he gave himself the chance, but since he was adamant that it wouldn't happen, I'd have to make those memories for myself.

"Willow!"

I could hear his screams even with the door closed. We all stopped, not even breathing as her husband shouted her name from across the street. Fear raged through me as I locked eyes with the woman who suddenly lost all joy.

I rushed over to her, grabbing her hands in mine. "Don't go."

"I have to," she said, her voice shaking.

What about Cody? "Leave Cody with me. He can help me decorate the tree."

Tears filled her eyes as she shook her head slightly. "That would only make things worse."

She set her son down and quickly grabbed her things and bundled up her son. Then she smiled at Cody, wiping all fear from her face. "Are you ready to go home and see Daddy?"

It was clear Cody didn't want to go anywhere, but he nodded and looked up at me, trying to be a big boy. "Bye, Harper."

"I'll see you later, kiddo. We can decorate some other time."

I walked them out, holding my breath as Willow walked carefully down the icy steps with her son's hand in hers. The husband stomped across the street, yelling at her for not being home, then grabbed her arm and dragged her back to their house. Once the front door had closed, I went back into my own house, grabbing the phone from the cradle. I was just about to dial 9-1-1 when her words echoed in my head.

Please don't. It would only make things worse.

I had no idea what the dynamics were truly like in their house, and if I called the police against her pleading, that could wreck the friendship I had with her. Did she have anyone else to go to when she was scared?

But the police didn't have to be involved. I could call Edu. Security was his job. They could hide her and Cody and keep them safe. But at what cost? I didn't know how the business worked.

I dialed the number I hadn't used since I first came here and waited for her to answer.

"Is everything okay with the baby?"

Rae's voice slid over me, soothing the wrecked feeling rushing through me. "I'm fine. Everything's good. With me."

"With you. What's going on?"

"My neighbor," I said hesitantly. "She's in an abusive marriage. I called the police once, but she asked me not to do it again. I was thinking…Maybe OPS could help."

She was silent for a moment. "You know we would all help, but she has to want it. The next time you see her, talk to her about it. If we show up and she refuses to come with us, it could make things worse."

I nodded in understanding. "That's what I was afraid of. What do I do for now?"

"Nothing, Harper. You're pregnant. You have to think about your child."

"I don't like the idea of doing nothing. What if he's hitting her right now? How can I stand by and do nothing?"

"And what if you go over there and he attacks you? You offered your help once and she didn't want it. Until you speak with her again, do not under any circumstances put you or the baby in harm's way. Do you understand me?"

"Yes," I said grudgingly.

"Don't make me send someone out there to watch you. I'll do it."

"As long as it's not Edu."

"I would never be so nice. No, I think I'd send Fox. He would thoroughly annoy you to the point that you never wanted company again."

Fox didn't seem that bad to me, but I heeded her warning. "Fine."

The line was silent for a moment. I wanted to ask—to know if Edu had changed his mind. Was he looking for me? Did he care at all that I was gone? Did he want to know about his child?

In the end, I wasn't sure I could handle whatever she would say. "Thanks, Rae."

"No problem. Anything else?" she asked hopefully.

"No. That's it."

"You know you can call me anytime."

"I know. Thank you."

I hung up and slumped down in my chair, then stared at the massive tree in the corner of the living room. Once again, the house seemed lonely and empty. This was my life until the baby was born. Then Oliver would come to visit, but otherwise, I was starting over fresh. I had to get used to being alone.