22. Billie

CHAPTER 22

BILLIE

I take a look at my desk, making sure I haven't forgotten anything. Though it's not like I had anything precious here, anyway.

Since before even my first day at GarrisTech, I saw my time here as temporary. A means to an end. I never intended to put down roots, and now I'm glad that I didn't.

"What happened?" David comes up. "You're leaving?"

I nod, swallowing hard. "Yeah. I am."

David looks at me, his expression softening. "Is it about James?"

There must be rumors circulating about us. Who knows what people are saying?

Even before we got back from Hawaii — me on a commercial flight I booked myself — I put in my resignation at GarrisTech.

I didn't know whether James intended to fire me or not, but I figured there was no point in waiting around to find out.

I shake my head, but I can't help the tears that are starting to fall. "It's about everything. It's about me, and my choices, and where I want to go from here."

David doesn't say anything for a moment, just standing there with his hand on my shoulder. I appreciate the silent support.

Finally, he speaks. "I'm going to miss you, Billie."

I nod, unable to speak past the lump in my throat.

David sighs and pulls me into a hug. "Wherever you go, you're going to do great things. I know it."

"Thanks," I whisper, feeling a mix of gratitude and sadness wash over me.

"Is it true?" David drops his voice. "What people are saying about you and James?"

"I don't know what they're saying," I answer quietly, also glad I haven't heard any rumors. That would be added heartache that I don't need.

"Some people say you two were together in Hawaii," David says hesitantly. "That it was more than a work trip."

I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. "My leaving the company doesn't have anything to do with that. I've just seen that it wasn't a good match."

David studies me for a moment before nodding. "Okay. Whatever you say, Billie. Just remember that we're here for you, no matter what."

I give him a small smile, grateful for his support. "Thanks, David. I really appreciate it."

As I grab my last box and head out of the office, I can't help but feel a sense of relief. I'm leaving behind the memories of James and all the pain he's caused me.

But at the same time, my heart aches with the knowledge that I'm also leaving behind a part of myself. A part that I had found in him.

As I step outside, the warm sunshine envelopes me, and I know that it's time for a fresh start. I take a deep breath, inhaling the salty ocean breeze as it ruffles my hair.

I close my eyes for a moment, savoring the sensation, before heading towards my car parked on the curb.

As I drive away from the office, I can't help but think about what my future holds. I'm back to working for myself. Back to the single mom life.

It hurts like hell, thinking about what could have been between me and James. But it's okay. Obviously it wasn't meant to be.

And who knows, maybe somewhere along the way, I'll find someone who truly appreciates me for who I am. Someone who won't break my heart.

But for now, I'm content with my little home with just myself and my daughter.

I park outside mine and Monica's office, and as I climb the stairs to the old building's second floor, I hear Quinn running around.

I open the door to our shared office space, greeted by the sound of Quinn's laughter and Monica's voice. They're both sitting on the floor, surrounded by crumpled paper and markers.

"Mommy!" Quinn exclaims, running over to me and wrapping her arms around my legs. "Did you bring me a treat?"

I chuckle and shake my head. "Sorry, kiddo. No treats today."

"That's okay. I like that you're back early." She takes my hand and smiles up at me, and there's a pang in my chest.

She looks so much like James.

I haven't seen him since Hawaii, and we haven't exchanged so much as one text. Even when I went back to our shared room to grab my things, he wasn't there.

So this is it. I'll likely never see him again. Quinn will never meet her father.

The emotions crashing through me are powerful and conflicting. There's a strong possibility that if Quinn weren't in the room I would sit on the floor and bawl.

Monica stands up and gives me a warm smile. "How was the last day at work?"

"It was good," I say, putting down my box and taking a seat on the floor next to Quinn. "A bit sad, but it's time for a change."

Monica nods in understanding. "Well, I have some good news."

Quinn plops onto my lap, and I have to lean around her head to get a look at Monica. "What?"

"Remember the client I was telling you about? The one who wanted a complete rebrand and website redesign along with the tutorial videos for the site?"

I frown, racking my brain. "Yeah, but wasn't that months ago?"

"Yes, but they got back to me just yesterday." Monica's grin widens. "They loved our proposal and they want to move forward with us! We get to work together!"

My heart lifts at the news. "That's amazing, Mon!"

Quinn claps her hands and giggles. "Yay, Mommy and Auntie Mon!"

Monica's excitement is palpable as she starts to go over the details of the project. I listen intently, feeling hopeful about our future. Maybe with this new project, we can really make a name for ourselves in the design world. Maybe it's the fresh start I need.

As we discuss ideas and timelines, I can feel Quinn nodding off on my lap. I smile down at her and gently shift her to the couch, tucking her in with a soft blanket.

Monica flits around the office, tidying up the arts and crafts she and Quinn were doing. "You know, I think this is the start of something great for us," she says, turning to me with a smile.

I nod in agreement, feeling a new sense of hope and purpose. "Yeah, it really could be."

Monica reaches out and squeezes my shoulder in a gesture of support. "And who knows, maybe this could bring some closure for you too."

I freeze at her words, my mind flashing back to James and the hurt I still feel. Monica must sense my discomfort because she quickly backtracks. "I mean, not that you should rely on work to fix everything, but it could be a positive distraction."

I force a smile, trying to push away the pain. "Yeah, you're right. It's just hard, you know?"

Monica nods in sympathy. "Of course. But we'll get through this together. And you never know, something even better might be waiting for you around the corner."

I take a deep breath, feeling grateful for my friend's unwavering support. She's been there for me through thick and thin, and I don't know what I'd do without her. As she finishes tidying up, I start to feel a sense of calm wash over me. Maybe this new project really is the start of something great. Maybe it's time to let go of the past and focus on the future.

"Mommy?" Quinn has gotten up from the couch and is now messing with the potted plant in the corner.

"Please be gentle with that," I tell her. "The soil will go everywhere."

"Why don't I have a daddy?"

I swear, I stop breathing.

Monica and I find each other's gaze across the room, and she looks just as freaked out as I do.

Talk about timing.

I clear my throat, trying to figure out how best to approach this topic. Quinn knows she's adopted, but beyond that she's never asked any questions about her birth family.

"Well, sweetie, not all families have a daddy," I say gently, hoping to avoid any further questions.

"But why not?" Quinn persists.

I exchange a meaningful look with Monica, silently asking for her help.

"Families look all kinds of ways, you know," Monica chimes in, crouching down next to Quinn. "And you know what? That's okay. All families are unique and special in their own way."

Quinn seems to accept this answer for now, rummaging around in her backpack and pulling out a pot of slime. I know this won't be the end of her questions, though. I make a mental note to have a more in-depth conversation with her about her adoption soon.

"I wish I had a daddy," Quinn says softly.

Her words are a knife right through my heart.

She does have a father. He's just not here.

She'll never know him.

…Unless he decides to get in touch and meet her.

Would I even want that, though? Would it even be good for Quinn?

This whole situation is so messed up. I don't even know how I feel about it anymore. The only thing that I understand for sure is that I'm heartbroken.

Monica clears her throat. "Hey, Billie. Can you help me get something from the hall closet?"

I nod, grateful for the distraction. Monica follows me to the hall and closes the door behind us.

"Are you okay?" she whispers, placing a hand on my arm.

"I don't know," I admit. "I mean, I thought Hawaii would be the end of all this. And now Quinn's asking about him."

"What are you going to tell her?" Monica asks, her voice soft and concerned.

"I don't know," I repeat. "I've always told her the truth about being adopted, but I never thought she'd ask about her birth father. At least… not this soon."

"And James didn't say anything about wanting to meet her?"

"No." I lean against the wall.

Monica gives my arm a squeeze. "That's probably for the best. This situation is really complicated, and a six-year-old wouldn't be able to process it."

I nod. "I just wish it didn't have to be so complicated. I wish Quinn could have a happy, normal family."

Monica's eyes soften. "She does have a happy family. And a normal one, too. It just looks a little different than some others."

I let out a small sigh. "Thanks, Mon. I guess I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed."

"You're doing great," Monica says, giving me a reassuring smile. "And Quinn is lucky to have you."

I smile gratefully at her, feeling a sense of comfort knowing that she's on my side.

As we make our way back into the office, Quinn looks up and grins. "Look, Mommy! I made a slime monster!"

I kneel down to look at her creation and can't help but smile. Quinn has always had a vivid imagination.

"That's amazing, Quinn!" I say with genuine enthusiasm. "You're so creative, baby."

Quinn beams under the praise, and Monica claps her hands. "That's so cool! Can I touch it?"

Quinn nods eagerly, and Monica reaches out to poke the slime monster.

Quinn giggles excitedly, and the next thing I know I'm smiling.

Would it be great if Quinn had two parents? Absolutely. Just like it would be great if I had a partner to weather each day with, to enjoy the highs with, and to cry through the lows with.

And it would be doubly great if that person were James.

I can't help it. He still takes up residence in my heart, and there's probably a part of me that will always mourn losing him. I didn't expect to fall for him, and I certainly didn't expect to fall harder than I ever have before in my life.

Losing him is real. It's brutal. Sharp and unforgiving.

But there's no point in focusing on what we don't have. Our life is abundant. We're happy.

And in my mind, that's more than good enough.