Chapter 36

36

Nick

When the call with Joey ends, Brent looks at me for all of about ten seconds before he sighs. “You’re flying out, aren’t you?”

“I have to.”

He nods and goes back to reading with Sammy on the floor. It’s fun to see him with a toddler. I know he doesn’t want kids but I think he would be a good dad. These two are special, though. There’s something about them that makes my heart yell mine. I’ll have to talk to Mom about what their situation is and if they’ll have parental rights severed at some point. I can’t stay in Colorado, I have to come back here for them.

It’s a while later, after the kids are in bed, that Mom finds me packing my bag.

“Are you leaving already?”

“Yeah, I have to get back to school. Joey needs me.” I don’t take my focus off making sure I have everything.

“Oh, okay. Well, I’ll see you for graduation then.”

I turn and look at her. If Joey can stand up to his parents, maybe I can ask her about Emma.

“Do—” I take a deep breath before letting the words out. “Do you know what really happened to Emma? Did you know that night and just not want to tell me?”

She sighs heavily, leaning on the doorjamb. “I reported it again that night. You were so heartbroken over it that I knew there had to be something. Courtney, our case worker, told me that when they went in the next morning, she was gone and so was all her stuff.” She shrugs, guilt weighing on her. “I searched her name for years, looking for any kind of information. Looked into Jane Does that were found around the area too. About two years ago, a skeleton was found in the woods about two miles from us that could be her but they’ve not confirmed DNA. I didn’t want to say anything until I knew for sure.”

Despite knowing in my heart that she was probably dead, it hurts to hear. It’s not for sure until there’s DNA but it’s not likely she’s alive. I nod, hating the answer, but knowing I don’t have a choice but to accept it.

“Thank you.”

“I’m sorry.”

Getting up, I go to her, hugging her tightly. She cries into my chest, wrapping her arms around me and holding me just as tightly. Watching her purge the guilt she’s carried for years has a knot forming in my throat and my chest tightening. It’s a physical weight she’s lugged around for six years. It wasn’t her burden to carry.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t fix it, Nicky,” she cries. “I tried but there was nothing else I could do without putting the kids here at risk.”

In the doorway of my childhood bedroom, we cling to each other and search for the comfort we needed all those years ago.

“Seeing you fall apart, it broke my heart. At that point, you leaned so heavily on Brent that when I tried to comfort you, you shrugged away. So I stopped trying.”

“It’s okay, Momma.” I hate how the system has fucked over those who actually care and want to help. So many hands are tied. Now, as an adult, I know she couldn’t have snagged Emma and kept her here without permission. She could have lost all the kids living here and had her foster license pulled. Hell, she could have been arrested for kidnapping if it got bad enough. “I’m sorry I put you in that position. That wasn’t fair.”

“Nothing about the situation was fair. To any of us.” Lifting her head back to look at me, she cups my wet cheeks with tears trailing down her own face. “I love you, you know that, right? Always. Forever.”

I can’t breathe past the knot in my throat so I just nod. She pulls my head down to kiss my forehead then wraps her arms around my neck in a hug.

“I’m so proud of the man you’ve become.”

“Thank you,” I murmur.

“But you have to go, don’t you?”

“Yeah.”

She cups my cheeks again, this time smiling. “Okay. I want to meet him at some point, understand?”

“Joey. His name is Joey.”

“You said that already. I don’t care what his name is, I want to meet him.” She steps back and I wipe at my face while chuckling.

“Yes, ma’am.”

She wipes the tears from her face too and leans on the doorjamb. “Troy and Sammy are gonna miss you, so don’t be a stranger, you hear me?”

While I finish packing, I ask about their situation and if they’ll be available for adoption. If they are, I’m moving back here after graduation so I can be in their lives and start the process of getting custody of them. It can take a while but I’ll wait as long as I need to. I need them just as much as I need Joey. Fuck, I hope he wants kids.