Chapter 37

37

Joey

Sitting at the kitchen table in my sister’s house is weird. She’s such an adult. Her fiancé was up and gone before I got up but I can tell how much he loves her by the way she talks about him. The pictures all over the house show it too. She’s happy here and it’s all I’ve ever wanted for her.

She’s making breakfast at the stove while I drink a cup of coffee. The bacon is sizzling away and making my mouth water. Charlotte is chatting away, talking about the flowers she wants to plant in the front yard and maybe some veggies in the backyard. I’ve never known her to want to garden but she’s excited about it and I love that.

She’s pulling bacon off the stove when the doorbell rings.

“Are you expecting someone?” I ask as I head toward it.

“Nope.”

Matt is standing on the porch, leaning on his crutches, looking rumpled and uneasy.

“Hey,” he says, barely making eye contact.

I cross my arms and wait. If he thinks he’s coming in here to sleep on Char’s couch, he’s got another think coming.

“Are you gonna let me in?”

“Depends on what you’re here for.”

He huffs and clenches his jaw. “I just want to talk to you for a minute.”

I raise an eyebrow. “You aren’t here to try to weasel your way onto Char’s couch?”

“No. She’s too damn peppy in the morning. It’s unnatural.”

That gets a chuckle because he’s not wrong.

I step aside and give him room to enter.

“Who is it?” Char yells from the kitchen.

“It’s Matt.”

Her head pops into the hallway with a raised eyebrow. “Oh.”

“For fuck’s sake, I’m not that bad.”

Char and I share a look that says otherwise but she tells him to come in and have a seat.

It’s quiet, awkward, now with Matt sitting at the table with me while Char finishes cooking. I get him a cup of coffee but no one really says anything.

She gets the food plated and I bring it to the table for her while she grabs silverware.

“Okay, spill it, why are you here?” Char demands.

Matt looks between us and his shoulders droop as he sets his fork down on the table. He looks at his hands when he speaks. “You were right. Last night, when you said I took it out on you that Dad was gone and Mom had fucked off.” He takes a shaky breath. “I know I’m a fuckup and if I don’t get my shit together, I’m going to ruin my life or die. I’m sorry.”

Char is obviously holding back tears while I fight with myself to let him off the hook and tell him it’s okay. It’s not, and fuck that hurts.

“We’ve relied on you for too long, demanded you sacrifice more than your fair share.” He looks at me and I can feel how much he means it. It’s not just words he’s using to manipulate, he’s thought about this and is actually trying.

“We all made sacrifices when Dad died.”

“No,” he shakes his head, “it was mostly you. Mom relied too much on you, Char tried to help but she relied on you too. I didn’t do anything but cause you more problems. Hell, I’m still causing everyone problems.”

Getting up from my chair, I reach for him and wrap my arms around his shoulders. He clings to me and for the first time in a long time, I have hope.

“I punished you for not being Dad, I’m sorry,” he cries into my shirt.

“You were grieving, I understood,” I say through my own tears.

“You never got that chance and the rest of us did.”

Charlotte comes around the table and joins in our tear-filled hug. “We love you, even when you’re a pain in the ass. Which is most of the time.”

He chuckles and sniffs, wiping at his face as we break apart.

Char is dabbing at her eyes with a napkin, careful not to mess up her makeup or whatever, but she’s got a big smile on her face.

“I think I should go to therapy and start taking AA seriously,” Matt says once we’ve all taken a seat again. He’s pushing the food around his plate and not looking at us.

“That’s a good idea,” I tell him. “It probably wouldn’t hurt any of us to talk to someone.”

Char nods. “I’ll go too.”

Matt smiles and shoves some bacon in his mouth.

For the next two hours, we share memories, spill some tea, laugh, and even cry some. By the time I have to get ready to head to the bus station, I feel lighter than I have in…ever? There’s hope that things will get better, at least for the three of us. Matt will stumble, make mistakes, but if he really wants to change, he will. I know he will. As long as he’s trying, Char and I will support him through the changes he needs to make to ensure his life is better.

Charlotte hugs me at the bus depot and I settle in for the drive. Luckily, I’m used to traveling by bus, though the ones I’ve been on with the team are full of my teammates and can get loud. This is dingy and quiet and not many people talk. It smells like dust and sweat in here, the air is somehow stale, and I wish I could cover my seat in plastic before I sit on it for the next four hours.

Pulling out my phone, I text Nick a picture of me with Char and Matt that we took right before I left.

JOEY:

So, I have news.

NICK:

That looks like good news…

JOEY:

Matt is going to go to therapy and AA. He wants to clean his shit up.

NICK:

Dude! That’s fucking awesome! What brought that around?

JOEY:

Probably me ripping into Mom last night and her slapping me.

NICK:

I hate that that’s what it took, but I’m glad he’s realizing it.

The bus pulls away from the depot and we’re off. It’s just the beginning of a long afternoon and I’m already tired of being on this damn bus.

JOEY:

Me too. Anyway, I’m on the bus back to campus. When are you coming back?

NICK:

My ticket isn’t until Sunday.

JOEY:

👍

NICK:

The fuck? Did you just give me the ‘fuck you’ thumbs up?

I laugh so hard I snort. Tears fill my eyes and I can’t catch my breath.

JOEY:

No?

NICK:

The fuck you didn’t. You’re gonna pay for that. 😈

JOEY:

Don’t tempt me with a good time…

It takes a minute but a video pops up of Nick, so I grab some earbuds to listen to it.

“It’s all fun and games until you’re desperate to come but I’m not done with you yet.” Nick’s stern voice in my ears sends a shiver across my body and the look in his molten brown eyes promises pleasure. The video call we had the other day flashes in my mind and my dick perks up. I really can’t wait for this. There’s something so hot about being used by him and I desperately want to get back to it.

JOEY:

Thanks for the hard-on. 😒

NICK:

Send me a picture

JOEY:

I’m on the bus. I’m not pulling my dick out.

NICK:

What pants are you wearing? Show me your bulge.

With a huff and burning cheeks, I turn toward the window and try to arrange myself so I can get a clear picture of my lap without looking like a creep. Pretty sure I fail. But I manage to get an image of my hand cupping my dick through my jeans.

NICK:

Fuck that’s hot, baby.

JOEY:

Are you hard?

NICK:

For you? Always.

I stifle a groan and curse the length of this bus ride. Why can’t it be faster?

JOEY:

I guess I’ll have to jack off when I get back. There’s no way I’m waiting until you get back.

NICK:

You better call me so I can watch.

A wicked smile curves my lips and I take a selfie to send him, biting my lip, cheeks pink, and looking ready for debauchery.

JOEY:

We’ll see…

NICK:

Look at you, ready to be used. Fuuuuck. You’re gonna make me jack off right here in the mall.

When I get there, you better be stretched and lubed up, ready to be fucked hard.

I squirm a little in my seat, not that there’s much room in these small-ass chairs. Charter buses are not made for athletes. My knees are against the seat in front of me and my ass barely fits between the armrests.

JOEY:

I’m hard on a bus. I hate you.

NICK:

I’m hard in public. There’re kids in here and I’m wearing sweatpants!

JOEY:

😂😂😂

I crack up at the mental image of him trying to cover the tent in front of his pants. Man, I hope he’s with his parents. That would be amazing.

JOEY:

Why are you at the mall? Reliving your high school days? Trying to pick up a high school chick?

NICK:

Fuck you. I did not pick up chicks at the mall in high school. I was getting blowies under the stadium bleachers like the other football players.

JOEY:

Classy. You’re a real class act.

NICK:

Like you weren’t doing the same thing in the ice rink!

Thinking back on those years, I can say that is one thing I never did. I never hooked up at the rink.

JOEY:

Nope, some of us didn’t have time for shenanigans. I was busy trying to keep my brother out of juvie. And the ER.

NICK:

You never fooled around in the bleachers? Or the locker room?

JOEY:

Nope.

NICK:

Well, we’re fixing that. Pronto.

I chuckle and shake my head.

JOEY:

The season is over.

NICK:

Look at all the fucks I don’t give. You’re not graduating without at least getting your dick sucked in that building. It can’t happen.

JOEY:

WTF is wrong with you?

NICK:

IDK but you seem to like whatever it is so that says more about you than it does about me.

I sigh and lean my head back against the seat.

JOEY:

You aren’t wrong.

A notification pops up in the chat.

Joey’s nickname has been changed to Good Boy

Nick’s nickname has been changed to Daddy

GOOD BOY:

Really?

DADDY:

Yup.

GOOD BOY:

You’re a menace.

DADDY:

Yeah but I’m your menace.

His response has warmth blossoming in my chest. Makes butterflies dance in my stomach.

GOOD BOY:

Does that mean we’re officially in a relationship? Like you’re my boyfriend?

I chew on the inside of my lip as I wait for his response.

DADDY:

Baby, you were mine that first night in the bar. You just didn’t know it yet. Label it however you want to. You’re mine and I don’t share.

GOOD BOY:

Good.

We chat for the rest of my trip and by the time I get to the dorms, I’m exhausted. Bryce stayed for break so he’s probably in our room, which is not where I want to be anyway. I want Nick.

DADDY:

Did you make it back?

GOOD BOY:

Yeah but I don’t want to be in my room, it doesn’t smell like you.

DADDY:

I hid a key to my room in your desk.

I perk up at that, hustling up to the fifth floor and fumbling my way into my room.

GOOD BOY:

Seriously? When? Why?

DADDY:

A few weeks ago. IDK it felt important to have it there.

With a big smile on my face, I grab a change of clothes and take a quick shower.

Bryce is laid out on his bed when I come out.

“Hey, man, I didn’t expect you to be back for a few more days.” He pauses the show on his laptop and looks back at me. “Your brother okay?”

“Yeah, he’s doing okay. I decided I had enough family time.” I grab my phone, charger, and keys. “I’m gonna crash in Nick’s room. Later.”

He lifts a skeptical eyebrow at me but doesn’t comment.

As soon as I get to Nick’s room, the calming scent of him wafts over me and I fall face first into his bed.