18. Chapter Eighteen

Words race past me at an unfathomable speed as they follow the blurry trails of fae and gods rushing to complete their preparations.

Weapons are loaded into wagons. Water is carried out by the gallon. Stations are confirmed several times with the fae and demis that will be head of specific sections. Even medical supplies make it out of the castle and on the road to the camp.

I sit on the cool stairs right inside the entrance and watch as the frantic energy increases around me. I've spent the last several hours assigning jobs to individuals, trying to create some kind of order in this mess. Nausea and overwhelming dread have taken up permanent residence inside my body, and I'm finding it more and more difficult to push through those familiar sensations.

But even with my mind swirling to a new thought every second, there's one question that keeps appearing in the depths of my soul.

What if any of my bonds are killed? What if Andras takes all three of them?

My vision blurs as I think about the worst possible scenario for the hundredth time today. I know I shouldn't dwell on the what-ifs, but if I'm being truly honest, they are all I care about. Every other individual joining this fight?

I do not fucking care about them. My bonds need to live, no matter what.

Am I ashamed to admit it? Yes. Will I apologize for it? Absolutely fucking not.

I shudder, the cells in my body warning me that Andras is almost here. We have yet to hear from our scout, but something tells me the scout is on their way because Andras has made it through GodsPass. Which is why, even without proof, I've ordered every able, participating body to the camp. The males and I will leave when we receive word since our sorids will get us there quickly.

I groan, standing from my seated position and ascend the stairs. The males are in a council meeting, as they have been all day, because the council believes it foolish for Casmir to join the fight against Andras.

For once, I agree with them.

I have the strongest urge to trap him, Em, and Xamira until the war is over. But I know that's not possible, and if the prince insists on coming…well, who am I to tell him no? The council seems to think otherwise.

I pause at the top, making an easy decision to cease their ridiculous meeting. I need to be with them tonight.

My steps quicken as I close the distance between me and my bonds. I do not hesitate before throwing the door open, smirking at Viktor when he cringes at the sight of me. Guess he's still not over our little chat from the last meeting?

"This assembly is over. The prince and captain are needed elsewhere." Casmir hides a chuckle while Emrys purses his lips, desire already striking his features.

"We are nowhere near fini—" Conan halts when my eyes shift to him, promising hell if he challenges me. The irritating male scoffs, sitting back in his chair in defeat.

Cas and Em join me, and I practically skip as I grab their hands and lead them toward our rooms. Really—at this point—it would make sense to combine our three rooms as we all stay in Cas's every night, anyway. That will be on the agenda if we live through this.

"One of these days, I want to use my essence to fuck with those assholes. Maybe trip them in a crowded place, or convince them there's a ghost stalking their every move."

Emrys bellows a laugh, the sound sending butterflies to my core. "You never cease to surprise me, love."

"That's not a bad idea. Maybe they would focus more on their own asses instead of mine," Cas mutters. I turn my head left, taking in the tired eyes of my prince. He's great at hiding stress, so it worries me that I see it so clearly emanating from him.

"Wait—they're looking at your ass?" I pull them to a stop, feeling just a little possessive. "You know what? Maybe I'll go have some fun with them right now."

As I turn to run back in the opposite direction, Casmir swipes his arm under my knees, lifting me to his chest. I instinctively wrap my arms around his neck, proud that I could at least help change his mood a little. "I don't think so, princess. You're only allowed to have fun with me this evening."

I pretend to be shocked. "What about Emrys?" The corner of his mouth lifts, a wildness building in his gaze.

"I don't think it's fun Em wants."

The male in question chuckles, swiping a hand through his luscious hair. "I mean, we can call it fun if you'd prefer."

I bite my lip and lean in to press soft, languid kisses up Cas's neck. His head falls back before he lets go of my legs and grabs my ass, forcing me to straddle him. His cock twitches as my core settles around it, the hardness of it nearly making me feral.

The amount of satisfaction that rolls through my body each time I see evidence of just how much I affect these males is unreasonable. Knowing that I do this to them? These literal fae gods? It makes a girl feel good about herself.

My fingers push their way into the prince's hair, grabbing two large handfuls. I continue my barely there kisses all over his face, jaw, and neck, purposefully missing his lips, earning an evil chuckle from him each time.

The males step into the room and Casmir tosses me to the bed from several feet away. I roll on the soft bedding, laughing at the sinking sensation the action creates in my abdomen. Sitting up on my elbows, I smirk as my bonds prowl toward me, dark promises written in their gazes.

I raise a foot, gesturing at them while I put a wall up to block their path. "Oh, no, no, no. I call the shots tonight." There's a sense of power running through my veins; one that I want to explore.

Unless I'm protecting one of my bonds, I have not felt this confident in myself since before him. It's…strange, but it feels necessary. As if this is the next step needed to relearn my body and take back control.

I want that. I want the part of me back that was so sure of herself and didn't dissociate each time something reminded her of when she wasn't in control.

Cas and Em stop in their tracks, sharing a look before submitting. Emrys crosses his arms, narrowing his eyes at me. He prefers to be the one in control, but I can see he will allow me this. "Hm," I muse, tapping a finger on my lips. "You two get started, and I'll direct." I roll to crawl up the bed, creating a little nest out of the thick pillows. After wiggling around for maximum comfort, I look up to find my males watching me with loving, but hungry eyes.

"I said get started!" I wave my hand at the end of the bed, indicating for them to move.

Emrys huffs, shaking his head as he faces Cas, grabbing his hands and walking him slowly to their stage. My breathing increases with the way they hold each other's gazes, never once breaking contact, even after they stop moving.

Em leans forward, pressing a light kiss to Cas's mouth. "I think our queen wants a show," he whispers, still holding the prince's hazel irises.

"We better give her one, then," Cas teases. "She can get quite cranky when she doesn't get her way." I huff a breath, muttering something about how insufferable they are when they start kissing and I lose all train of thought.

Their movements are light and a little tense, but after a moment they melt into each other. Casmir grasps Em's face as their exploration deepens, and the captain's hands roam his prince's body. In just a few seconds, I went from a horny, feral female that wanted to fuck the life out of her bonds, to witnessing just how much these two males truly love each other, and is just content on watching.

They take their time, removing pieces of clothes with a gentleness I didn't know they were capable of. I grab onto a pillow, holding it tightly to my chest and lie on my side as Cas guides Emrys to the bed. Cas sits him down and carefully pushes on his shoulders to lay him back. He leans on his hands, hovering over the captain as he smiles down at him with such tenderness that my vision blurs. They exchange a few words, though I do not hear them as all I can think about is how lucky I am. To be in a space that's filled with pure love, and to be wanted in that space? Every single thing I've gone through was worth it just to be in this moment right now.

I jolt when a hand brushes my cheek, wiping away the tears I didn't know had fallen. I blink several times, looking between my bonds when the surroundings come back into focus. Em is on his stomach, watching me with an unreadable expression. Cas sits next to me, looking worried about my sudden change in mood.

"I'm okay," I whisper into the blanket of silence that's consumed the room. "These aren't sad tears." No, I feel…happy. Loved. Cherished. Warm. Accepted. Wanted.

Em reaches out a hand and I take it, squealing when he pulls, sliding my body toward him. I halt on my back just as his face appears above mine. And seriously? The male is bewitching normally, but to be this pretty upside-down? So unfair.

I can't stop the giddy smile that tugs at my lips when Em starts pressing small kisses all over my face, beginning with each eye. He skips over my lips, chuckling when I'm offended at the action. Each place he touches heats my skin, almost as if he's using his magic to slowly warm me. Eventually, he makes it back to my mouth, sucking my lips between his. I gasp at the strange sensation, taking a moment to map his soft skin at this angle. I moan when he tilts his head, deepening the kiss. This is not severe in the way I'm used to from Emrys; it's not a possession or claiming. It's a vow. An unbreakable promise.

He pulls back slightly, rubbing his lips across the top of mine. Groaning, he speaks against my skin. "This mouth is doing things to me." I raise my hands to grab his face and pull him back down to me, but he laughs, grabbing my wrists and sitting up. He drags me until my head hangs over the edge of the bed, guiding my hands to his thighs and squeezing my fingers. "Hold tight, love."

I open eagerly as he guides his cock slowly over my waiting tongue. His piercings graze the top of my mouth, their coolness a slight shock before my heated breath warms their surfaces.

"Ready?" He asks teasingly, laughing when a choked jumble of noises leaves me as the tip of him touches my throat. He grabs the back of my head before thrusting roughly, setting an unforgiving pace. You'd think it would feel humiliating to be slapped in the face by balls repeatedly, but I feel anything but humiliated. How could I when I'm the one causing his inebriating moans and stuttering breaths?

I swallow around him, taking him as deep as my body will let me. He pulls out suddenly, looking down at me with a wildness to his gaze that has my core clenching. "You are too fucking good at that, love." His eyes narrow, going blank for a moment as if he's thinking of all the ways he could murder whoever taught me to use my mouth so well. "Cas, come," he demands, the bed dipping as my other bond slides next to me.

My prince and I give Emrys full control as he moves me to my knees, stuffing my face into the sheets so that my ass is presented to the both of them. He positions Cas behind me, the latter wasting no time running his hands lightly up my back, imploring me to arch even further.

"Look at how ready she is for you." I shudder at the sinful tone, listening to the soft noises behind me. "This wet and we haven't even touched her yet. Here." There's movement and I whine when I feel one of their cocks press to my entrance. Cas's hands are still on my back, so the hand slowly pumping a dick into me must be Em's. I cannot focus on anything except their complete attention. "Push—there you go, my prince. Watch how she opens around you like the greedy little goddess she is." I squirm, clenching so tight it earns me a chuckle. "And the way she'll do anything we want if we just say a few dirty words in her ear? She was fucking made for us, Cas. So take her." A second set of hands grasps my hips as Casmir sheathes himself fully inside me. I feel so incredibly vulnerable and exposed, but I do not dare move from the brutal pace I'm being pounded at.

Several groans consume the air, and I scrunch my eyes closed at the raw pleasure coursing through me. "Oh, fuck," I mutter into the sheets, so consumed by everything they're making me feel that I pay no mind to the wet fabric under me, caused by my drool. Heat builds slowly but deeply, consuming every nerve ending at the base of my spine.

Fuck, I'm so close. One more thrust and I'll be gone—

"No," I drag out the word on a pathetic whine as Cas pulls from me, and his wet cock slaps against my bruising cheeks.

"Don't worry, love. We'll give you what you need." The breath shoots from my lungs when my legs are yanked from under me and my stomach hits the bed.

I'm folded over the side, my feet touching the floor. The curiosity in me when I hear a popping noise nearly gets me to turn around, but I enjoy being tossed and used, so I keep my cheek pressed against the plush bedding and wait. Not patiently, but I cannot be blamed for that…the dick is just too good.

"Put your hands on either side of her and bend over." I shudder as Cas's heat closes in on me, though he stops before touching my wanting skin. "Slide into her and relax your muscles." Cas's low moan matches mine when his cock fills where I so desperately need him. My walls clench when he jerks, and I feel him take a deep breath before his head drops to the back of mine.

Are they… "Oh my gods, no way! This is so fucking hot." I wiggle, desperate for movement, and earn a chuckle from Cas.

His laugh cuts short when he hisses. "Relax, prince. You can take it." My mouth drops open when Casmir bites my shoulder, grunting at whatever Emrys is doing to him. Fuck, I wish I could see. "So. Fucking. Tight." My eyes roll back at the way Em's pleasure makes my clit throb painfully.

I turn my head to Cas, smirking at the dazed look he has. When he sees me watching him, he snaps and rushes forward to capture my lips in a rough kiss. He sighs when Em announces he's all the way in, muttering something about how he knew Casmir's ass was made for him.

I whimper at their jerky movements, and they cease just before Em's voice calls to me. "You okay, love?"

"Mhm—just here for the ride." He laughs darkly before thrusting slowly, his movements forcing Cas to fuck me. "Shit," I curse to myself, barely able to hold back the pent-up orgasm that is absolutely about to destroy me. The sounds these two are making as they fuck me from fucking each other?

Emrys seems to lose control as he begins pounding into the prince, whose arms tremble next to my head. I lean forward to kiss his fingers—the movement angling his dick just right. My vision goes black as wave after wave of pleasure crashes through me, amplifying when Cas's release coats my inner walls.

Gods, I could die happy right now.

After a few minutes of catching our breath, we all pull apart and fall next to each other on the bed. "I don't think that could ever get any better."

I form no thoughts before I answer, immediately wishing I hadn't spoken up. "It definitely could. I'm sure bonding just increases our ability to experience each other's emotions, so I can only imagine how insane that would feel." Silence. I peek through one eye to find them both watching me with big, insufferable grins on their faces. "Fuck me…are you guys serious?"