12. Chapter Twelve

The door to Casmir's room slams into the wall as I burst in, cursing myself in every language. I throw myself on the bed and push the heels of my palms against my eyes.

"Fuck, I'm sorry. I didn't want you to see that side of us—but she just makes me so fucking crazy." Casmir and Emrys haven't said anything the entire way here, instead just letting me basically scold myself.

A gentle force pushes at my legs, spreading them before a warm body enters the additional space. Leather floats over me as Emrys grabs my hands, pulling until I'm sitting up, practically shoving his face into my breasts.

"Love, you did so fucking well. I'm so proud of you for standing up to her." His hands graze my hips, and I arch into the touch.

Running a hand through his curly, chocolate hair, I smile as I remember the first time I touched it. I wanted to feel it so badly. I thought I was crazy—having no idea that it was our bond attempting to pull us together. The strands are just as soft and luscious as they were then. My finger trails down his face, landing over his smiling lips. He looks at me with such adoration that it's impossible to not fall in love with him all over again.

Grabbing his face, I lean forward to kiss him. His tongue catches the half-groan, half-squeal I let out when he yanks me down from the bed so that I'm sitting on his knees.

I hear the shower turn on, a little disappointed Casmir isn't joining. But that thought crumples into oblivion when Em's movements turn frantic. He grinds me on his thigh, attacking my lips with such ferocity it's intimidating. I suck in a breath when his hand slips into my loose-fitted pants, immediately cupping the growing wetness.

His mouth leaves mine, trailing down my neck, finding every sensitive place possible. I breathe heavily, basking in the perfect things he makes me feel.

"I want you to come all over my hand, love. Because I'm about to go meet with your parents, and I want them to be very aware of who you belong to. I want your scent all over me, so there's no mistaking that I just fucked their daughter and there is nothing they can do to get her back." I shudder, leaning into him as he bites my neck and shoves two fingers inside me.

I grip his shoulders like handles and enjoy the ride as he fucks me hard. His hand moves quickly, slapping against my clit loudly with every thrust.

"Gods, Em," I whimper, rolling my hips in time with his hand.

"That's it. Soak me, Nell." I bite his shoulder, feeling like a sentient fountain as I come. I moan shakily, wave after wave of arousal sliding out of me. If I didn't know any better, I would think Emrys had water magic and was just messing with me. He hums, circling his fingers until I'm begging him to stop.

I sit back when he carefully pulls his hand out, my jaw dropping at the pool of cum in his cupped palm. He gives me a proud smirk.

Insufferable male.

"What are you doing?" My jaw unhinges again when he spreads my liquid scent across his chest, neck, throat, and cheeks. He runs some up his arms and shakes it through his hair. When he's satisfied that every part of him is wearing me like a custom perfume, he finishes by sucking his fingers clean.

That was unbelievably sexy.

"You are the filthiest male I have ever met," I breathe, leaning in to taste myself on his tongue. He pulls back, rubbing his lips against mine.

"And you love it." Heat blooms under my skin, confirming just how right he is.

"I do."

He gives me one last kiss before lifting me back onto the bed. "I have to go. I'll see you two in a bit."

Just as the captain strides out of the room, the shower turns off. I walk over to the bathroom, creaking open the door. Of course it's impossible to sneak up on either of them, but that's fine. I just wanted to ogle his delicious body before he dresses. I bite my lip when I step in, getting the sudden urge to lick up every drop of water running down his body.

Who knew I'd ever be jealous of a towel?

"Enjoying the view, princess?"

My skin heats, and I fail at preventing the giddy smile from cresting my lips. "Oh, I am very much enjoying the view." His eyes meet mine, and I am captivated by the extra gold speckled in with the forest green. He smirks, not bothering to hide his appreciation as he takes in my body—even though I'm fully clothed.

"Join me for a swim?" he asks, though there's more of a challenge in his words than a question.

"Hm." I purse my lips, tapping my finger on my chin. "That depends."

"On what?"

"Will this ravishing view be available there as well?" A mischievous look crosses his features as he closes the distance between us. It takes everything in me not to look at—or reach for—the bulge pressing into my abdomen.

"How about this? You hide us from prying eyes, and this ravishing view will stay available all the way there?" I dissolve into a fit of laughter, resting my forehead on his hard, very defined, mouthwatering…

Gods, Nell. It's just his collarbone.

I shake it all away, focusing on his smiling face once more. If I had a nickel for every time one of my males looked at me as if I am the sole reason they're alive, I would be the wealthiest being to ever live.

"You seriously want to run through your castle naked?" I giggle again, the idea so absurd to me.

"Yes, exactly. In fact," he says suggestively before tearing off my shirt. "Let's both run through the castle naked. I'll even carry you." He bends to knead one of my breasts, pinching the hardened nipple before biting down on the other. I gasp, so focused on his mouth that I don't realize he has pushed the rest of my clothes down.

But fuck do I realize it when he lifts me and his cock slides smoothly over my bare pussy as I wrap my legs around him.

"You better hide us, princess, because I'm not letting go." I smile into the kiss, groaning as he starts walking. His length rubs against me with each step; we're both panting before he's even down the hall.

The hall.Oh fuck, I forgot to shield us from view.

I quickly look around, releasing a breath when I see no one. I slide my essence over us, ready to focus on my prince once more. We make it to just outside the mountain before he shoves me against a wall, sheathing himself completely. His tongue catches my whimpering moan. I arch into his hold, practically begging for him to move.

"Gods, Nell. I have no fucking control around you." His strained voice makes me clench. He gives me just a taste of what I need, driving himself into me twice more before pulling out and walking again.

As he blindly makes his way to the cave, his hands explore every inch of my heated skin. He grips me everywhere before stopping on my ass, massaging roughly the rest of the way.

Petrichor batters my senses before the sound of the waterfall does. The energy of water soothes me, allowing my soul to melt into Cas. My lips are swollen from being sucked on the last several minutes, but it's a welcome feeling. Instincts tell me that we"re just in front of the pool, and I prepare to warm the water as he steps in. But it doesn't happen. Why is he still walking?

I look over my shoulder to see the rushing water just behind me, before meeting Cas's eyes with a questioning look.

"I thought we'd play with my magic today. So we're going to jump, and I'm going to fuck you against the mountain while we hope neither of our magics allow us to fall to certain death." My head drops back, eyes rolling from just thinking about what's coming.

Definitely me.

I reluctantly hop down, my bare feet soaking in the wet stone. I freeze when his hand clasps the back of my neck.

It's not him. It's Casmir. You're safe.

It's not him.

He's not here.

It's not him.

I repeat the words several times, but my body doesn't seem to agree with my brain's logic as the tightening of my chest becomes overwhelming. It's a struggle to swallow, and I have the urge to breathe quickly.

I press the heel of my palm to my sternum, pushing down until pain breaks through the panic. I use that to ground myself, taking deep breath after deep breath, willing my other senses to join the fight.

It doesn't go unnoticed that Casmir says nothing. He stands to the side, ready to jump in and help me—but only if I ask. How did I get so fucking lucky?

A few minutes pass where I slowly take back control of my body. Starting with my fingers, tapping them on my chest as a distraction. Then my toes, squeezing them while focusing on what they feel as water sloshes around beneath me. I bring awareness to my torso and enjoy the chilly touch of the waterfall. After making it to my head, where I bend it side to side…I feel more like myself.

That's it, Nell.

When I open my eyes, I smile apologetically at my prince. "I didn't realize such a simple touch would trigger a reaction."

He doesn't look disappointed that I've ruined our moment. He seems proud. The warmth radiating from him is enough to combat the icy water.

"May I try something?" He whispers, hesitantly reaching a hand to indicate he wants to touch me. I nod.

Stopping in front of me, he leans in to kiss my right eye. I close it instinctively, realizing that he wants me to keep it closed when he mimics the gesture on my left. His lips rest against my forehead; not quite a kiss, but intimate all the same.

"I will stop the second you say to." A tension I wasn't aware of lifts from my shoulders. Whatever he's about to do will probably trigger another panic. But he's here…I'm safe with him.

I do not respond, but instead stand very still as his hand slides up my collarbone to my neck. He slowly grasps the back just as he did a few minutes ago, squeezing cautiously. I immediately tense, my body begging me to run, but my mind telling me this will help. I don't move.

He tightens his hold, as if he weren't my bond but instead someone who wanted to control and use my body. Just when my resolve to push through starts to slip, his other hand reaches for my center, pushing through my slit. I shudder. Gathering the little wetness, he circles my clit. Just as the pressure on my neck increases.

Oh.

He's trying to replace Andras's lingering touches with his own. With pleasure. Will that work? Will this finally allow my body to associate being touched as a good thing, instead of something to immediately fear?

The only way to know is to submit to him completely. So I do.

I let go as he works my pussy and neck, causing a war between my physical and mental self. Eventually, though, the fighting dies down and I sag into his hold. I groan, leaning into his grip on my neck instead of away from it. He captures my lips, and I thread my trembling fingers into his dark hair.

I need him now.

His eyes dart to my parted lips and back up as I pull away. "Thank you." A devastating smile blooms on his already handsome face. I can't stop my own, so I grab both of his hands and pull him over the edge with me.

We fall. We fall too fast…and yet, time seems to still around us.

I do not believe he has done this before, so I prepare to use my magic in the case he loses his nerve. But he doesn't. He slows us to a halt about halfway down.

We're stationed right under the ravaging water, though it's not pummeling the shit out of us. I look over to see it bending slightly, so he's clearly using his air to soften it. He's flattened on top of me, and it almost feels as if I'm laying in a bed made of rushing water.

Fuck, does he look good.

The sun highlights each muscle as they hold him above me; it also gives the water a nice glow, making him look ethereal. His normally messy hair falls over his head, dangling as a nice contrast to the bright blue of the sky. The glistening skin of his face seems to melt into pure ecstasy, barely moving when he smirks at my obvious perusal.

I finally look into his eyes and my breath catches. If the sun is highlighting everything else on his body, the shadows are deepening the color of his irises. The color of trees at midnight, with just one ray of moonlight to outline their silhouette.

He looks like a god. No, he looks like the god. Because who gives a fuck about the rest of them when he exists?

"You keep looking at me like that, Nell, and I won't be able to hold us much longer." His voice is pure sin; I writhe under him, feeling desperate for his touch.

"That's fine," I pant, leaning up to kiss his jaw. "Let us fall. I don't care. I just need you inside me…right the fuck now." His answering chuckle shoots heat straight to my core.

He lifts us up, turning so we're just behind the falls and I'm nearly pressed against the jagged mountain. That would absolutely shred my back if he fucked me against it…

I must be starting to like the color of blood because the next words that leave my mouth sound nothing like me. "Cas, I want you to shove me against the mountain and fuck me like you hate me." He looks between my eyes for a moment before nodding, raising a hand to circle my throat.

"My queen will have whatever she wants," he taunts, the words dripping with malice. Not a moment later, the wall at my back disappears and my prince doesn't hold back as he drives me into the sharp stone. My mouth drops open on a silent scream as my body attempts to decide if this sensation is pain-pain or pleasure-pain.

I groan when the rock slices my skin, allowing my blood to coat the unforgiving surface. Casmir positions himself between my legs, grabbing deeply where my hip meets my thigh, and thrusts his cock into me mercilessly. A strangled moan escapes me and he tightens his hand around my throat in response, effectively cutting off almost all of my air. His other hand keeps me still as he pounds so hard I'm convinced I'll prolapse before he's finished with me.

"This is what you wanted, princess?" He breathes against my mouth, his forehead grinding into mine. "To be treated as nothing more than a hole for my pleasure?" He releases my throat just enough to allow an answer.

I nod frantically. The severe pain at my back, the lack of air, and the way he's attacking my pussy are all pushing me toward an edge I can only describe as unfathomable bliss. "Yes." I barely manage the one word as he tightens his hold to the point that my lungs are completely cut off.

"Come on me, then. I want to feel your walls squeeze my cock. I want to know just how much you love being degraded by the Prince of Anloria."

His words do something primal to me, sending pulses of heat through my entire body. I try to moan—try to breathe. But I can't. Instinctively, I want to push him away so he doesn't kill me.

But mentally? Fuck, what a way to go. I want everything he's willing to give.

A few more thrusts with intense pleasure and pain competing for the upper hand and I feel myself jump. My vision darkens just as Cas releases my throat and the building orgasm bursts, pummeling every part of my being right down to my soul.

I wheeze in delicious air, whimpering as I curl myself around Casmir. His arms wrap me in a cocoon and he grips my hair, cursing to himself when his hot release fills me. We hold each other like that for several minutes before he lifts his head.

"Nell, fuck, you're bleeding too much."

I shake my head, cupping his face. "It's fine, it will heal." My lips capture his and we taste each other until we're both panting again. I pull away to look him in the eyes. I want him to understand just how much I mean this. "Thank you."

Maybe my methods are fucked up, but for the first time in months, a seed of hope writhes in my chest. Eventually, I could be completely rid of him.

His touch, smell, features, smile, voice, intentions…all of it gone. No longer a lingering memory on my skin or in my mind. This is the first time I've felt like it could happen, and I didn't realize just how badly I needed that realization until now.

I hug Casmir tightly, tears quietly streaming down my face, accompanied by the humidity and mist of the rushing water next to us. He and Emrys will never understand what they've done for me. There's no fucking way I would ever choose anything but them. I'm appalled that I even considered it at one time. But not any longer.

They're mine, and I'm keeping them.