11. Chapter Eleven

Maybe if I snuck into the library before the meeting, I could relieve everyone of my mother…

Fuck, no I can't do that. Yet.

We need her in this war. She's the only other being with essence magic, and that will be extraordinarily helpful against Andras and his demons. But after we kill them all…

"The war room is large enough for the gods and my parents to join, though I have a feeling things will get heated quickly." I grab Cas's hand, nodding my agreement.

"Everything gets heated when she's in the room." We're just around the corner from the meeting and I walk in between my males, appreciating the paintings lining the dark walls of the hallway. I wonder how many were created by Teryn? "She may not have fire magic, but she certainly knows how to burn everything in her presence."

"Love," Emrys breathes, halting Cas and me. He grabs my other hand, bringing it up to his mouth to press his lips against my anxious skin. "You got this. We're here with you, and we will support you in anything you say in there." He kisses my fingers once more, his bright caramel eyes never leaving mine.

I blush, biting my cheek. "Even if I tell them that the three of us and Xamira are leaving the city tonight because I don't want to fight Andras anymore?"

He smirks, pulling my hand up until it grips the base of his neck. "Even then. And if that's what you truly want, why bother with the meeting at all? Let's go right now." He bends, brushing kisses along my jaw until he finds the ticklish spot on my collarbone.

"You know we ca—" Someone clears their throat, interrupting my thoughts. I look to my left to find—of course—my mother glaring at the three of us. The moment I meet her eyes, she grimaces and stomps away.

I groan, leaning into the heat of Emrys's mouth. "This will be fun."

Releasing my captain, Casmir pulls my attention toward him as he lifts my left hand, mimicking Em's sweet gesture. He taps my finger, winking at me before pulling us along.

I've never been privy to the meetings of the gods, seeing as I'm not sanctioned, so I'm feeling more nervous than usual. I know they're on our territory, and this meeting is to discuss strategy and training, but they're fucking gods. They believe the realms revolve around them.

Well, in some ways they do.

But having to be the mediator between the fae and the gods during a second war Andras has fabricated, where he's also bringing along his new demon friends? Yeah, I'm stressed the fuck out.

Stepping into the room, I'm reminded of the last time I was here. When I went all psycho bond on the council for disrespecting Cas. I almost hope this meeting ends up the same…my magic could use some releasing.

I'm too focused on my thoughts to take note of who is already here; so I do not notice when someone stands next to me and nudges me in the shoulder. I whip my head around, ready to curse out the person who thought it was okay to touch me, when I come face-to-face with my best friend.

"Cal, oh my gods!" I squeal, ignoring the looks of distaste from the other gods. I swing my arms around his neck to hug him, squeezing hard enough that he grunts and strains to push me off.

"Fuck, Nell. I haven't seen you in a quarter century and your first instinct is to behead me?" I laugh, relenting. Releasing him, I cross my arms and glare at the beautiful male. It's strange…he doesn't seem to have aged, though there's an air of maturity surrounding him that he did not possess before. He stands taller, with more confidence. His bright, blue eyes are not as soft as I remember, and even his light hair appears manicured. Interesting.

"Don't sneak up on me, and I won't have to." He rolls his eyes, flashing me the charming grin that gets every other female dropping to their knees for him.

"I missed you." He steps forward and the light surrounding him seems to darken. He grips my chin, forcing me to hold his threatening gaze. "I heard what you said to Aeryn. You do not need to give me the details, but I will give my life to make him pay for what he did to you." My heart falters, skipping several beats before restarting again. I know Calix cares for me, but he's never made such an intense declaration before. I always thought I was the one who had too many feelings in this friendship.

I love the male as if he's my blood, and would have done anything to ensure his safety. But as much as I still think of him as family, I realize I don't feel that way any longer. My chest aches at the thought. The realization hurts, though it feels right.

No more would I risk anything for him as I would for my bonds. I would sacrifice him without a second thought to save them.

What the fuck is wrong with me? Calix was there through everything. He knows all the horrid details of my mother. He knows all of my insecurities, weaknesses, and guilty pleasures. Besides Xamira, he was the only one there for me when I needed someone. He trained me to be the best. He gave me so much of himself to make me into the goddess I am today. And yet my first thought after not being able to see him for decades is that I would give his life for my males?

My vision blurs, and I blink it away, offering my best friend a warm smile. I swallow down the bile threatening to rise, giving me a moment to think of a response. Casmir saves me from my inner turmoil, sliding an arm around my waist and gripping it possessively. My cheeks heat.

"Who's this, princess?" He asks in a way that suggests he doesn't trust the male in front of us.

"I'm Calix," he offers, his blonde hair falling forward as he bows his head. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Casmir."

Cas's arm sags around me, releasing the tension he was holding. Did he think this was my ex? Or someone I've fucked before? I scrunch my nose, frantically trying to push away the image of fucking my best friend.

I look over my shoulder to check on the others, but the seats are not filled yet so I quickly bring up a sound barrier around the three of us. Facing Calix, I find myself whispering even though no one else can hear. "What's been happening there? They all look the same, but the energy is quite different. Even with you."

His eyes flick behind me for a moment before returning to mine. Cas's jasmine scent washes over me as he pulls me closer, and I coat my lungs with it.

"There was…" Cal pauses, strumming his fingers along his thigh. Something he does when he's nervous. "There was a dispute among the eight when they received your message. They thought it was a joke before looking into your claims further, only to realize they didn't actually kill Andras." He steps closer, positioning Cas and me just in front of him. His voice lowers to a whisper, so quiet that a mortal could not hear it. "The eight threatened to turn on each other. They blamed one another for failing in their job to kill Andras, because none of them can remember what actually happened. It's as if every one of them expected the other gods to handle the traitor, so they didn't bother checking to make sure he was actually dead.

"Then, the demis found out. I'm surprised there wasn't a full civil war with how hard they came at the eight; especially General Kreen." He nods slightly where the male sits stiffly in his seat, glaring at the table as if it's offended him. "He was rallying other demis to go against the eight with him, but Aeryn shut him down quickly. She went from being an authoritarian to a complete dictator in a matter of seconds. Since then, she's been controlling everything. So we're all a little on edge, I would say."

I curse to myself, rubbing my forehead deeply. I swear this festering headache will be the death of me if Andras isn't first. "Don't worry about it. I will handle her." She has no fucking right to act as if everyone is below her. I may have put up with it for years, but I'm done. And I will not allow her to continue the behavior on them just because she hasn't been able to force it on me.

Releasing my magic, Cas and I walk to the head of the table, where he insists I sit as he and Em each take a side next to me. I fight it for only a moment, before I see who has planted herself directly across from me. I lower myself into the chair, holding her barren gaze. She raises her chin in the way that tells me she's about to speak. Clasping her hands on the smooth table, she looks at each one of us before opening her mouth.

I let her. I'm interested to hear what she has to say.

"As you all know, Andras is alive and bringing war to our realms. Again." She recites a history lesson—which is a complete waste of time—but I'm sure makes her feel superior.

A prickling grazes my neck, and I look to see Teryn watching me. Her eyes flit between my mother and me before giving me a remorseful smile and focusing on her tea. Next to her, Niair watches mother with narrowed eyes. He doesn't trust her. Good…he shouldn't.

"Aeryn, if I may—" my father starts, interrupting the Goddess of War.

"You may not," her clipped voice permeates the already tense atmosphere.

She clears her throat, dismissing him. "This is something history has not seen before. We—"

"Let him speak." All heads whip to me at the command. I hear a few suck in breaths while Bastian covers his mouth with a hand.

"What did you say to me, Anellah?"

I smirk at the challenge in her words; something she does when she tries to frighten me into submission. "You heard me, Aeryn. Let. Him. Speak." Cyran cackles under her breath. I raise a brow to mother, daring her to refuse. She clenches her jaw, eyes melting from light gray to that of a raging storm.

"Fine." A slow smile spreads across my face before I dismiss her, focusing on my father.

"Okay—I believe it's important we keep this as brief as possible. Casmir, I've been told your army is already following a new training schedule?"

"Correct. Nell instructed several members of my guard in your ways, and they train daily with the camps. We're unsure of when Andras will attack, so they have rigorous schedules."

My father nods, pleased with this information. "Excellent. I may suggest some of our demi soldiers join your guard to help with preparations?"

"Thank you, Hale, that would be appreciated." I reach for Cas's hand, finding it easily as his and Em's chairs are so close they're touching mine. His thumb runs along my wrist, sending a shiver through my core. The small touch feels so intimate—and exactly what I need to make it through the rest of this meeting.

"I will speak with your captain to initiate this transition." His kind voice hardens as he addresses the room fully again. "Now, as we have been prepared for another war for centuries, really the only matter left to discuss is this new realm we're told has been opened. Anellah, what information do you have about this realm and its demons?"

"Unfortunately, not a lot. All we know is they are very tall and fast, with sharp claws and teeth. They possibly have no eyes, but are extraordinarily perceptive. We do not know how to kill or subdue them." The silence that follows my disclosure is unnerving. We may be great fighters, but this is a rival we know nothing about that we're being forced to battle.

"Well," father's quiet voice breaks the stillness. "We can at least increase agility training in all soldiers and sorids. However, it seems as though we will be going to war blind to who our enemy is. Are there any other suggestions?"

Casmir adjusts slightly, not releasing my hand. Panic shoots through me just as he speaks, because I know exactly what he's going to say. "I may have some weapons that could be helpful; though I would first show them to you before any decisions are made."

"What weapon could you possibly have that would best anything we brought to your realm?"

"Mother," I snap, heat flooding my chest. The rapid beating of my heart quickens when she drags her sharp gaze to mine.

"What?" She sounds almost bored. One of her favorite manipulation tactics. "Why tell us of these weapons without explaining what they are? It's childish."

"Respectfully, I disagree." The authority in my prince's voice forces me to clench my thighs. "It would be best to show you before explaining." He's right. If Niair and Teryn had told me before taking me down there, I'm sure my reaction would have been much worse. I look to my males" parents as they bristle quietly in their seats, seeming uncomfortable with being surrounded by the beings that their hidden weapons can kill.

"Don't you insult me, boy. I will—"

"Enough!" My palm slams on the table hard enough that small cracks form on the surface. I stand swiftly, causing my chair to slide back into the wall. "You will not speak to him like that."

She smiles wickedly, thinking she has me right where she wants me: emotional and pliable. "Speak to your soul bond like what, Anellah?" she spits, grimacing, as if the taste of the words are the most foul things to ever touch her tongue. "The way I speak to you? Because I was being quite respectful, but if you would like me to treat him how you deserve, then I'm more than happy to oblige."

"See that's always the thing with you, isn't it?" I laugh, the noise laced with raw hatred. Leaning forward on my hands, I hold her gaze tightly. "You seem to think you get to decide what everyone else deserves. Especially me. Quite frankly, I don't give a fuck what you think of me. But my issue, mother, is who the hell decides what you deserve? Who gets the absolute privilege of choosing your scolding and punishment?" Her brows scrunch slightly. I've hit a nerve. "What? You think you're perfect and above judgment? Because if I asked each individual in this room, you would have thirteen people who disagree with you. And what does that say about you other than just how little self-awareness you possess?"

She shakes her head, chuckling. "Please, Anellah. You are embarrassing yourself. This is just you showing off for your bonds, because you have never spoken to me like this before."

"Yeah, well I'd also never been raped and tortured for twenty-five years before, either." She clenches her jaw, and I stand to my full height, looking down at her across the table. "So you will submit to the prince, or you will get the fuck out and go stay at the camp." I turn and storm out of the room, my males following closely behind.

"You stop this instant." I halt, ready to rip my hair out. But maybe I could rip hers out, instead. That would definitely be more satisfying. I don't face her, instead waiting for her to walk around our trio and stand in front of us.

"I will forgive your insolence, solely because I know what is said about how a triggered bond changes you. So you must listen when I tell you these males are just using you. How stupid can you be, Anellah? You hold no position of power, and yet why do you think they keep you around? So they can fuck you, and you play into their tactics like a lovesick youngling." I feel Cas and Em step closer, just a breath away from pressing against my sides.

I'm done arguing. This is just another one of her attempts at manipulating me. "What's this, then?" I hold up my left hand, showing the ring my males purchased for me yesterday when I finally let go of my guilt and said yes to their proposal. "Why did they ask me to be their queen?" Her eyes widen, the skin across her face reddening.

"You stupid girl."

I burst out laughing before looking into her soul, allowing her to feel every ounce of fury I've been holding on to for decades. "That may be true. But at least I'm happy." I lean in, forcing a deadliness to my voice. "Fuck you, and fuck your expectations."