29. Maddy

Chapter 29

Maddy

W hen Sigrun drops me back inside Odin's High Hall, flying straight through the giant, circular window that opens by magic as she approaches, I'm relieved that there's nobody around. If the other rooks knew that I'd been flown up to Sigrun's personal quarters, they'd all assume the same as I did—that I was going to be expelled from Featherblade.

She sets me down in front of the throne, and I expect her to just take off, but she pauses and runs her fingers over the arms of the grand seat.

"Have you met Odin?" I ask, my curiosity getting the better of me.

There's a far-off look in her face when she turns to me, and I'm taken by a fierce desire to have access to her memories, to discover what she may have seen and done in her life.

"I pray you one day know the glory of the gods' company, Maddy," she says, before touching my shoulder and then launching from the floor, flying back through the open window. I stare after her.

In some ways, she makes me feel completely insignificant, but in other ways, she makes me feel invincible.

Is she right? Is there something about me? An ancient power, an untapped potential?

I've been held back my whole life by the constant belief that I might die at any moment of any day. Did they tell me that to stop me from going outside, from interacting with other people, for fear that the secret of what I could do would be exposed? That their power, as the Ice Court royal family, came from bartering secrets and having access to unparalleled amounts of information?

A voice interrupts my thoughts, and I whirl around. I recognize it. It's my father's voice.

They're still here! And that means I might have a chance to talk to Freydis.

I move toward it, but another voice cuts it off, and I freeze. It's Kain.

"You owe me," he says, his voice fierce.

"I owe you nothing," my father says. I dart behind the nearest column as the footsteps get louder. I hear a thump, a grunt, and then I see them, my father stumbling into view and Kain advancing on him. "There is no deal."

"Information for the safety of a princess," Kain growls. "That was the deal."

"Wrong princess," my father says. My stomach knots and my skin grows cold .

My parents will not pay for my safety.

Fear of what the fire-fae might do if he doesn't believe he's going to get whatever secret it is he thought he was going to from my parents is mingling with the bone-deep sadness that even though I was the one selected to come to Featherblade, and even though I have survived so far, and even though they saw that I have magic now, they still don't believe my life to be worth paying Kain a secret for.

A sad realization flashes before me.

If I die, then they would never have to worry about my secret getting out. They've already lost access to all my information, to all of my secrets. All of their bartering power was lost when I was taken to Featherblade.

"We made a deal, King Verglas," Kain says.

"No, we didn't. That deal never came to pass."

With a flare of light, Kain's wolf bursts to life beside him. Sparks fly in his eyes. I can see them from where I'm peeking out from behind my column. The wolf's fangs are dripping with saliva as he advances. I can only see my father's back, but his hands are shaking, his body is tense, and he's trying his very hardest not to back away. He can't see the wolf, but he's terrified.

"Leave me alone. There's no deal," he says, and I can hear the fear in his voice. I stare as, somehow, both Kain and his wolf seem to grow, and the power rolling from him intensifies.

He's feeding on the fear, I realize.

"You're scared of a powerless, wingless Valkyrie, mighty king," Kain hisses. There's venom in his voice. He's dripping with malice. He's every inch the villain everybody says he is. "I have heard the rumors, and I see now that they are true. You rule with secrets instead of strength, deceit instead of valor. You are weak."

"Wh-what would you know about valor?" my father stammers. But for every inch that Kain is growing, my father is shrinking. He looks nothing like a king of one of the five fae courts.

"You are not willing to pay for the safety of your own daughter." Fury laces the words.

My heart hammers in my chest. Why does Kain care about that? He cares about the secret, surely, not about me.

My father splutters but says nothing. How can he defend himself? Up until recently, nobody even knew I existed.

"You are pathetic," Kain spits.

"You are a criminal," my father coughs out. "Nothing but a criminal." He tries to stand straighter, and the wolf bares his teeth and growls. Instinctive fear trickles through my veins, and the king stumbles backward.

Kain barks a long, low laugh. "I hope that one day she puts you in your place," he says. "The gods chose her. By abandoning her, you abandon your gods. You are a fucking veslingr ." When my father says nothing, Kain turns and strides from the hall. It takes my father a long time to straighten, and when he does, he leaves the room silently.

I slide down the column, press my head to the cool wood, and close my eyes .

I'm just imagining Kain being furious because he cares. It's just a fantasy, fueled by seeing him stand up for me like that. He wanted payment, that's all. That's why he was so rage-filled.

"I hope that one day she puts you in your place."

Because he wants my father humiliated for reneging on the deal, not because he cares for me.

My father called me the wrong princess . He cowered in front of Kain and refused to even acknowledge me as his daughter, let alone pay for my safety.

A tight coil of something unfamiliar knots in my gut. It's not anger. It's beyond anger.

"You rule with secrets instead of strength, deceit instead of valor."

I've always known it, of course I have, but it's like it is sinking in, slapping me across the face, for the first time.

My respect for my own family is abandoning me.

I agree with Kain. I hope that one day, it is me who puts my father in his place. Right now, I would do anything to be the one towering over him like Kain did, terrifying the shit out of him. Proving that he is the weak one, the dunga , not me.

Valor, honor, courage. The core of every good citizen of Yggdrasil , a necessity for a Valkyrie. And utterly missing from my father.

Sigrun is right. My past is becoming unimportant. Where I'm from and what I've been led to believe is no longer who I am.

But I can affect who I'm going to be.