Chapter 17

NATALEE

He wasn’t coming.Not tonight. Maybe not ever again. I tried to hide my disappointment as I moved about the main room of the tavern, serving drinks and chatting with customers. Knot usually visited The Sweet Siren just after darkness fell. Tonight would have been our fifteenth night in a row together.

How stupid I’d been to fall for him. Yet I had continually pushed him away. Each time he’d proposed marriage, I’d said no. I blinked back tears and hurried into the kitchen.

“What’s wrong, child?” Lottie asked from the stove.

I was grateful to find no one else around. I let a few tears fall, brushed them away, and sniffled. Misery consumed me, and my chest tightened with heartbreak, making it difficult to breathe. Lottie wiped her hands on her apron, approached me cautiously, then draped an arm around my shoulders.

“There, there. Now who was mean to you? Point the scoundrel out and I’ll put a concoction of spices in his supper so fierce it’ll set him on his back for days.”

“Oh, nothing happened out there.” I gave a desolate sigh. “It’s what isn’t going to happen tonight that has me so upset. I feel like a fool.”

Lottie urged me to sit down at the little table against the wall. She took my hand and gave it a squeeze, her dark eyes shining with sympathy. “The priest has you upset, has he?”

I nodded, then wondered if the whole town knew my business. “I might have eavesdropped on a conversation he had with one of his friends today. It was about me, and about him possibly becoming the priest in Faircross. Knot’s friend seemed to think I was leading him astray and keeping him from answering his calling. Maybe he’s right. This town could use a priest. What will happen if the seasons change a few more times without proper ceremonies being held in the temple?” I sighed. “Anyway, it doesn’t appear that Knot is planning on meeting me tonight. He hasn’t shown yet.”

“Oh, child. Maybe the male got held up somewhere.”

“He probably went back to his cabin. He probably came to his senses and decided not to see me anymore. I’ve been so stupid.” I wiped away another tear.

“Why don’t you go on up to your room? Get some rest and perhaps in the morning you can find your orc priest and talk things through.”

“No. I should be working. The more I work, the sooner I’ll make it back home.” I stood up and moved toward the chatter and piano music. “Have a good night, Lottie.”

Out in the main room, I let my gaze wander around until an older human man caught my eye and winked. I hesitated for a moment, but then I remembered the conversation I’d overheard this afternoon, and I reminded myself that Knot wasn’t coming. Starfires, he would probably cancel the deal he’d made with Madame Sage. I supposed, given recent events, the deal he’d made to buy my nights in perpetuity was forfeit anyway. He was likely halfway to his cabin right now.

After taking a deep breath, I sashayed over to the human male with a smile that didn’t feel right. Because it was forced. He patted his knee, and I sat on his lap and ran a hand slowly over his chest. A move I’d witnessed other sirens do many times. It felt so very wrong. He wasn’t Knot. But I didn’t get up.

“I’ve had my eye on you all week, little female.”

I batted my eyelashes at him, copying a flirtatious look I’d seen Floura give the customers. Though I didn’t recognize the man, I said, “Sugar pie, I’ve had my eye on you all week too.”

He chuckled and squeezed my thigh, right above my stockings. Again, it felt agonizingly wrong. He wasn’t Knot. How could I stand the touch of any male but him?

“What do you say we finish this conversation upstairs, Miss Julianne?”

Well, if he knew my name, he must be a regular customer I just hadn’t taken notice of yet. That gave me a little comfort. Madame Sage and Trevonn didn’t allow known troublemakers into The Sweet Siren. Though this man didn’t appeal to me at all, he would be a safe place to start moving on from my time with Knot. I might not feel any attraction to him—he might even repulse me—but he wouldn’t hurt me.

But in the next moment, the man’s face went pale and he jerked his hand away from my thigh. Before I could ask what was wrong, I found myself pulled off the customer’s lap.

Dark, furious eyes stared down at me.

I gasped as Knot turned me around and clutched my forearms. His nostrils flared and his face became a darker shade of green. A wave of nerves assailed me, and a quiver rushed across my bottom cheeks. I’d never seen him so displeased before.

“What are you doing?” he seethed. “You know I’ve reserved you for the foreseeable future! You’re mine, and mine alone.”

I glared at him, anger flaring hot as I recalled the conversation I’d overheard this afternoon. “A bit late, aren’t you? I honestly didn’t think you were coming.” By some miracle, my voice didn’t break as I answered him. I tried to latch on to the anger, rather than the heartbreak. Amidst the turmoil, I also experienced a wave of hope. Because even though I’d believed he wouldn’t come, here he was. Standing in front of me, with a firm grip on my arms as he glared daggers at me.

“Doesn’t matter if I’m late or not. What part of reserved do you not understand? Even if I don’t show for some reason, your nights for as long as you work here are paid for.” A very orc-like growl emitted from deep in his throat. “We need to talk. Upstairs.” He guided me toward the steps, only for Trevonn’s huge form to block our path.

“It’s all right, Trevonn,” I said. “We just need a quiet place to talk.” The last thing I wanted was for Knot and Trevonn to fight one another. While the minotaur was larger, Knot’s furious determination would no doubt aid him in a brawl. I imagined The Sweet Siren would be torn apart if the two of them joined in a tussle.

Trevonn’s eyebrows drew together and his jaw clenched. He glared at Knot for a few seconds before moving aside. I broke away from Knot and headed up the steps. Anger continued churning through my insides.

How dare he barge in here, hours late, and then act jealous when he found me doing my job?

I stormed into my room and spun around to face him. He followed me inside and closed the door, his entire body tensed. I reminded myself of the town’s need for a priest. I needed to drive him away once and for all.

Biting my lip to hold back tears that rose from the prospect of never seeing him again, I stared at him angrily, not trusting myself to speak just yet.

When I finally had my emotions somewhat under control, I said, “You just cost me a customer.” My tone came out harsh and bitter, and it didn’t take me long to realize I’d just said the worst possible thing I could say.

His eyes flashed and he was on me in the next moment, forcing me to bend over the bed. He lifted my skirt and petticoats up, then had my drawers down around my ankles soon after. I gasped and tried to push off the bed, but he kept a firm hand on my lower back, forcing me to remain bent over. I tensed when I heard the clink of his belt buckle, expecting him to impale me with his cock or perhaps wield the thick leather implement across my bottom.

When a few seconds passed and nothing happened, I dared a glance over my shoulder. He had the belt gripped in one hand, his arm lifted high as though he was preparing to whip me, his nostrils flaring wide as he released a quavering breath. Yet more seconds passed, and he didn’t strike me with the belt. When his eyes met mine, some of the fury in his gaze faded.

“Gods be damned.” He tossed the belt on the bed.

I started to stand up, but he placed a firm hand at the small of my back, forcing me to remain bent over. Then he reached between my thighs, gripped my quim firmly, and gave it a harsh squeeze.

“You’re mine, Natalee.” Another squeeze, this one so hard I gasped and attempted to escape his grasp, but his strength surpassed mine. “And this part of you”—another squeeze—”belongs to me and me alone.” His voice was practically a roar, and though he sounded angry and though there were a thousand reasons we shouldn’t be together, his words caused relief to pang inside me.

“You were late. I didn’t think you were coming. I thought everything between us was over.” I whimpered and suddenly burst into tears.

“Gods, what am I doing?” He cursed and released his grip on my pussy. “You are driving me to the point of madness, Natalee. When I saw you sitting on that human male’s lap, I-I don’t believe I’ve ever known such blind rage…”

He stepped back and exhaled a shuddering breath. After fixing my drawers in place, he smoothed my petticoats and skirt down. With his help, I sat next to him, and he wrapped his arms around me and stroked my hair.

I tried and failed miserably not to enjoy his closeness and the comfort he was offering. I couldn’t deny that his arms were the sweetest refuge. As a long moment of silence stretched, I debated whether to admit I’d eavesdropped on him earlier today. Well, I supposed telling the truth would perhaps help close the rift that had opened between us.

“I came to see you today, Knot, when you were building the fence. I heard everything Mr. Glade said, and it makes perfect sense. You should stop coming here. You shouldn’t see me anymore. Even if you don’t take up orating in the temple again, you shouldn’t be seen here.”

“Natalee, I would marry you tomorrow if you agreed, and walk through town next to you with my head held high.” He cupped my face and brushed his thumbs over my cheeks. His touch was so gentle and soothing, it made me want to cry. “Will you?” he asked. “Will you marry me?”

“No. I’m sorry, but no. I can’t.” I sighed and hated myself for the disappointment that shone in his eyes as I refused yet another proposal. “Why were you late, Knot?”

He swallowed hard. “I had to track the bank manager down after the bank closed before I could get there. Then I had him transfer four thousand gold pieces into your account.”

“What? I can’t accept that, Knot. I can’t.”

“Please hear me out, Natalee.”

Shock filled me. That was enough money to comfortably reach my former home on the Northern Isle of Jathaway, with plenty left over. I could stick to my story about Logan dying after our claim produced a fair amount of gold. Enough money for me to prove to my family that I wasn’t young and foolish. Though I berated myself for still seeking their approval, I thought maybe my parents would forgive me and welcome me back home. Maybe I could pretend the last year of my life hadn’t happened.

“Natalee, I should have never slept with you without us being properly wed first. The night I won the auction, I should have asked you to marry me first. I did things backward.” His voice was filled with a mix of resolve and self-loathing.

“I don’t understand. I mean, I would have still said no.”

“Then after you said no, I should have done the right thing and paid your passage home to the Northern Isles. You’re too innocent and sweet for a place like this.”

I didn’t feel innocent, especially considering the illicit activities I’d enjoyed with Knot during the past fortnight, but I didn’t tell him as much. Instead, I said, “Fifty gold pieces a night is outrageous enough. I realize you are probably the richest man in these parts, but I can’t accept that much money. It feels wrong.” I ran a hand through my hair in frustration.

Where did I go from here?

My heart swelled with affection for Knot, but I despaired over soiling his reputation any more than I had already.

“Natalee, I will make sure you keep the four thousand gold pieces and head home very soon, even if I have to drag you all the way to Orsleann and put you on a ship myself.” He put a finger beneath my chin, forcing me to hold his dark gaze. “Gods, I’m going to miss you.”

My thoughts flew into a jumble. One moment I wanted to stay and become his wife, and the next moment I wanted to leave Faircross and forget any of this had ever happened. Logan’s untimely death. The Foxthornes. Knot. The Sweet Siren. All of it.

“Promise me you’ll at least think on it, Natalee? If I find out you tried to have the money transferred back into my account, I will make sure you don’t sit down for a week.”

I glared at him.

“Natalee…”

“Fine. I promise I’ll think on it.”

“Good female.” He kissed my forehead. When he pulled back, his visage grew serious. “I don’t want to hear about you going upstairs with any customers, either. There’s no need. You can go back to serving drinks if you insist on staying at The Sweet Siren, but I’ve also reserved a room for you at The Bluebird Inn. You can go there and stay as long as you want, and your room and meals will be covered.” He paused and a pained look crossed his face. “Gods, how I wish you would agree to become my wife. I think we could be very happy together. Goodnight, Natalee.” He pressed a lingering kiss to my forehead, then rose and walked to the door.

“Goodnight, Knot.” I barely managed to get those two words out, my throat was so clogged with emotion.