Chapter 18

Three nights later…

NATALEE

“I just heard the news!I can’t believe you’ll be going back to Jathaway soon! Oh, I will miss you so much!” Floura said as she plopped down on my bed.

“I can’t believe it either. I’d expected to remain here for a few years, at least.” I felt guilty the moment I said it, as if I meant that working at The Sweet Siren wasn’t a good place to want to work. But Floura didn’t seem offended in the slightest, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

“When does the stagecoach come through?”

“Wednesday. In five days. I must say, I never thought if I returned to the Northern Isles, that I would be returning alone.”

Floura patted my hand. “It will be all right; I can feel it. You’ll reconcile with your family, and eventually you’ll meet a nice, handsome man to marry. You’re going to have the life you want.”

“You’ve been a true friend to me, Floura.”

“Don’t get all mushy on me, Julianne,” she said in a faux scolding tone. “I’ve already applied my makeup for the night and I don’t want it running. Besides, I’m hoping that big spender priest friend of yours shows up tonight.”

Dread twisted in my stomach, and I had to remind myself that even though Floura and I were friends, I hadn’t confided in her, or anyone but Madame Sage, about my true feelings for Knot. “Oh really?” I forced politeness into my voice.

“Oh, yes. I’m hoping he walks in and sets his sights on me. Of course, you’ll have to share your secrets and tell me what it is you’ve done to keep him coming back and spending fifty gold pieces night after night.” She waggled her eyebrows and playfully twirled a lock of hair.

I felt sick and angry and heartbroken, and I didn’t quite know how to process my emotions. I also didn’t want to feel such anger toward Floura but I couldn’t help it. I had the sudden urge to grab that lock of hair she kept twirling and give it a good yank. As I imagined Floura flirting with Knot over the bar and enticing him to go upstairs with her, my blood boiled hotter.

A knowing look came over Floura, then her eyes suddenly twinkled with amusement. She pointed a finger at me. “Aha! I knew it! You are sweet on Priest Knot, aren’t you?”

I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest. “I am not.”

“Oh really? Then why did you look like you wanted to punch me in the nose just now?”

“I don’t… I don’t…” My voice trailed off and my mind whirled.

Leaving. I was planning to leave Faircross, and I couldn’t claim to be very happy about it. Quite the opposite, in fact.

In five short days, I was about to leave the only friends I’d made in Faircross. I was also leaving my late husband behind on a claim that still wouldn’t sell. I hadn’t heard from Knot since the night he announced he had deposited four thousand gold pieces into my bank account, and gods help me, but I wished my time in Faircross could have gone differently. Differently enough that I could have become Knot’s wife in an honest way.

Suddenly, I couldn’t hold the tears back any longer. I broke into sobs and covered my face. “Why couldn’t Knot have wanted to marry me before I came to The Sweet Siren? We’d spent some time together, but then he decided to return to his cabin in the mountains to hide. It’s a cruel twist of fate for him to realize he wants me as a wife after I’ve been soiled.”

Floura moved closer and wrapped an arm around me. “There there. You are not soiled. And correct me if I’m wrong, but you didn’t come upstairs with any male but Knot this whole time you’ve been here, right?”

“That’s correct.” I straightened and wiped the tears from my face. I breathed in and out, willing myself to calm down. “Knot is the only customer I’ve been with.”

“Do you love him?” A sad smile stole over Floura’s features as she asked the question.

“Please don’t make me answer that.” Yes, I felt love for Knot, but it was a heartbreaking emotion that tore me up inside, because I had pushed him away so insistently that I worried he wouldn’t give me another chance should I change my mind about marrying him.

He wasn’t in Faircross right now. He’d left town. I hadn’t seen him since the night he’d given me more than enough money to reinvent myself back in Jathaway.

“Well, the stagecoach won’t arrive for five days, Julianne. A lot can happen in five days. Perhaps the two of you will work things out. But even if you don’t, know that you’re a strong and smart woman. There is happiness waiting for you somewhere, I just know it.” She stroked the side of my face, then gave one of my curls a playful tug.

I broke into a smile, and for the moment, I chose to believe that Floura was right. I chose to believe happiness awaited me somewhere, but the journey there might not be as smooth and painless as I’d hoped.