Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

"What's this?" Victor asked, entering the bar later that afternoon, after we'd packed the gremlin-hunting equipment away.

As Operation Gremlins Gone had technically failed, Zee and I had come up with a new plan. Operation Pixie Persuasion. But as we couldn't call Little Jimmy and have him appear—we didn't even know his real name—we had to think of a creative way of getting the pixie to come to us.

"This, Your Lordship, is a fairy ring." Zee swept a hand toward the circle of brightly colored cupcakes on the floor.

Tom eyed us from behind his bar, unimpressed we'd had to temporarily close the bar to summon a pixie. He aggressively dried a glass, occasionally shaking his head and muttering about poor business acumen.

"It says here..." Zee read from the Wilson's Guide spread open in his left hand. "Sweet treats placed in a perfect circle will prove irresistible to pixies."

Victor stopped outside the cupcake circle, folded his arms, and peered down at the display. "This is not a perfect circle. "

"Oh, for fucking fucks. If you whip out a fucking set square that's clearly a fucking triangle to measure a fucking circle, imma lose the remaining fucks I have." That was a lot of F's ... even for Zee. His wings ticked, and his tail lashed his frustration.

Victor studied the cupcakes—frowning, tilting his head back and forth, foot tapping. "It's lacking something."

I approached the ring. "The guide does say we should use a perfect circle." The cupcakes were all similar sizes, but not perfect, which made making a circle out of them tricky. Although they did smell and look delicious.

"I have a solution. Wait here." Victor strode out of the bar, shoes clipping.

Zee frowned after him. The moment the bar door swung shut, his brilliant purple eyes flicked to me. "We don't need Fancy Fangs. Let's get on with this before he comes back with a ruler." Zee cleared his throat and read the guide again. "Mr. Wilson says, Adam, you should get inside the circle, close your eyes, turn around three times and say?—"

The bar door swung open, and Victor returned holding a chocolate cake. It shone with lit party candles. It wasn't huge, but it was a perfect circle, and as Victor came closer, the sweeping, iced lettering came into view: Happy Birthday, Zodiac.

Oh my stars, had Victor made Zee a cake?

Zee's wings clamped closed and he froze in place. Even his tail lay still. His eyes widened with Victor's every step, then his gaze dropped to the swirling writing.

His lips parted in a silent, "Oh."

Victor stopped in front of Zee and presented the cake. "May you experience a satisfactory birthday, Zodiac."

Zee blinked. Gulped.

Seconds ticked by .

He blinked again. The tip of his tail ticked.

"Zee?" I asked, moving a little closer. Was he going to take the cake or make Victor stand there all afternoon?

"Is that for me?" Zee squeaked in a tight, small voice.

Victor looked down at the cake, then back up at Zee's face. "Your name is clearly written in icing."

Zee eyed the cake again, with its flickering candles and perfect icing. "Is it poisoned?"

Victor's right eyebrow ticked. "Poisoned?"

"Zee!" I frowned. "C'mon."

"I don't fucking know. He's a vampire! They gift corpses, not fucking cakes."

"Perhaps I'll just set the cake down over here," Victor said, awkwardly, if I wasn't imagining the shift in his tone. "On this table."

Zee swooped me to one side and whispered, "This is a trap, right?"

"No, he made you a cake. It's a good thing." How could he not see that? With everything Victor had going on in his life, and how that very morning he'd denounced his vampire family to stay with us, he'd taken time out from all that to organize Zee a cake. He'd probably needed the distraction. But the thought was more than kind.

"Why?"

"Because it's your birthday?"

"It is? Oh right, fuck, yeah. Then, why is he being nice? What does he want?" Zee side-eyed Victor, now plucking at his shirt sleeves while pretending he couldn't hear every word.

I smiled at Zee. "It's lovely. You wanted a cake and he got you cake. Be nice."

"Okay. I can be nice to Daddy Vampire. I got this." He straightened, turned on his heel, and wings up, tail sweeping, he marched back to the table where Victor waited. "So, uh, thank you for the cake." Zee said in an ultra-bubbly, horribly sarcastic voice, then thrust out a hand for Victor to shake.

Victor looked at Zee's open hand, then took it in his grip. "You're welcome." They shook once, let go, and Zee stepped back.

It was progress... sort of? They'd touched each other without trying to kill each other, which may have been a first? But it had looked as wooden as two pieces of furniture bumping into each other. How could two highly capable people be so terrible at this?

I caught Tom's eye roll and smirk. "Blow out those candles before one of you emotionally stunted fools sets my bar ablaze," Tom ordered.

"Right." Zee puffed out the candles and there was the briefest of moments where he smiled. Victor almost smiled too—which for him was a full-blown grin—and for just a second, it seemed as though they might finally be sharing a moment.

"But you definitely poisoned it, right?" Zee asked, shrugging the awkwardness from his wings.

Victor's expression returned to its typical glare. "What would poisoning you achieve?"

"Ha!" Zee thrust a finger in his face. "That's not a denial. Adam eats the first slice. You wouldn't poison him."

"Indeed, I would not. Nor would I poison you, Zodiac. But we clearly have some way to go before trusting each other. Perhaps this can be a first step in our... truce."

"Yes. That." Zee fluttered a hand, then his wings. "Whatever." He still side-eyed Victor, and the cake, as though expecting something hideous to leap from beneath the perfect icing.

Victor seemed fine, but then, he always appeared to be fine. On the inside, I suspected his heart hurt some from Zee's reaction. He'd admitted to me in the past that with everything going on in his life, he couldn't withstand Zee's rejection. I'd try and make time to speak with him later and make sure he was okay, over tea. "Alright, shall we go ahead and summon Jimmy?"

Zee opened the guide again and after some page flicking, found the pixie section. "Someone has to stand in the circle, close their eyes, turn around three times and say: With a sprinkle of stardust and moonlight's gleam, pixie, come forth from the in-between. By oak and by leaf, by wind and by sea, magic and mischief, we summon thee!"

"Horseshit," Tom coughed. Then added, "Pardon me, I appear to have caught gullible."

"Despite Tom's skepticism, it may work," Victor said. "While the words are likely irrelevant, the unusual performance may summon the pixie out of curiosity, since pixies are inquisitive creatures."

"Congratulations, Lord Fancy Pants." Zee grinned. "You just volunteered. Get in the cupcake circle."

Victor's eyes narrowed. "Nowhere in my assessment did I volunteer to perform such a ritual."

"I'm reading the instructions, so it can't be me. Also, those tiny cupcakes ain't containing all my amazingness. Adam is being Adam and supervising. Tom is stuck behind the bar, and if I asked him to do this he'd tell me where to shove those cupcakes. If you want to be an equal and valued member of the SOS Hotel team you gotta stand in the fucking cupcake circle, Victor. Them's the rules."

"I'll do it," I said, stepping forward.

"No, it's fine." Victor sighed and headed for the cupcakes, rolling up his sleeves. "I'm willing to assist where I can."

Zee's grin was pure smug satisfaction. He'd deliberately maneuvered Victor into volunteering. For some reason, Victor needed to be punished for being nice .

He spotted my frown and winked. I shook my head, but the pair were committed now.

Victor stepped over the rim of the cupcake circle, stood inside, and turned to face Zee. "Does this suffice?"

"Left a bit," Zee said, dropping his gaze to the guide so Victor didn't see how he fought not to laugh.

I pinched my lips together and folded my arms, keeping the urge to laugh buried deep inside. This was going to be interesting. Although, I suspected Victor wasn't as oblivious to Zee's games as Zee thought. It was Zee's birthday, after all. Victor just made it really hard to tell when he was in on the joke.

Zee cleared his throat, shuffled his wings, and lifted his chin. "Alright, Lord Fancy Pants, you ready?"

Victor's eyes narrowed. "You may use my perfectly good name."

"Get over it. Not gonna happen. Close your eyes, turn around, and repeat the little pixie rhyme."

Was it cruel to ask him to do this on the same day he'd walked away from his old life? He'd refuse if it was too much, wouldn't he? "Victor, you don't have to do this?—"

He held up a finger. "It may surprise you, that of all the actions I've had to perform during my many centuries alive, this is one of the least humiliating."

"We get it, you're old," Zee drawled. "Do the rhyme, daddy."

"As it is your birthday, demon , this is the one and only time I'll obey such an order." Victor closed his eyes, and as he turned he spoke, in his deep, deliciously smooth voice. " With a sprinkle of stardust and moonlight's gleam, pixie, come forth from the in-between. By oak and by leaf, by wind and by sea, magic and mischief, we summon thee!"

If Zee was hoping to humiliate him, he was going to be disappointed. Each of Victor's words resonated with gravitas, and what should have been a silly spectacle turned out to be mesmerizing Shakespearean performance.

Victor finished, facing us, and opened his eyes.

The jukebox fell quiet and a soft silence settled over the bar, interrupted only by a slamming door somewhere far off in the hotel.

Zee mumbled, "I guess that's good." And buried his face in the guide.

"What happens now?" I asked him.

"It doesn't say." Zee glanced around. Supposedly, Little Jimmy would now appear, but there wasn't much happening. "Maybe do it again?" Zee asked.

"I am certain once was enough." Victor stepped out of the cupcake circle.

What were the chances Little Jimmy was even nearby and heard Victor's performance?

A few more seconds ticked by, then a minute. It was becoming clear, Jimmy wasn't going to show. "At least we get cupcakes and cake." I headed for the bar. "Tom, do you have any little side plates back there?"

"Let me check." He looked me dead in the eyes without checking and said, "No."

"Any napkins?"

"Napkins?" Tom drawled. "Would you like an olive in your martini with that napkin, sir?"

"What? No martini. Just a napkin."

"One Dirty Martini coming right up."

"Tom, I don't..." I sighed and slumped on the stool. "Fine. Sure. I'll take a martini with my napkin."

He clattered around, fixing the martini, while Zee and Reynard discussed what to do about the pixie circle—whether to adjust it, making it bigger, or try some other sweet treats.

"Fifteen bucks," Tom said, sliding my martini across the bar on a napkin .

"For a martini?!"

"Eighteen bucks."

"Why did it just go up?"

"Nineteen bucks. Price goes higher the more the customer disrespects my art."

"That's not how sales work. And I just wanted the napkin."

"Do you want to come behind this bar and show me how it's done?"

This was definitely a trick question. "Uh, no?"

"Get down!" Zee barked.

I twisted, to see a small blur the size of a soccer ball hurtle toward the back of Victor's head, but as Victor was facing us, he hadn't seen the projectile shooting toward him.

Zee's tail lashed like a whip, and snatched the snarling, spitting, dagger-wielding pixie from the air, inches from Victor.

Zee held him aloft as he writhed, trying to pluck Zee's tail from around his middle. "If you stab my tail, you're pixie dust. You feel me?"

Little Jimmy snarled what sounded like a whole lot of abuse in pixie talk.

Zee rattled him, and the knife slipped from Jimmy's tiny hand. It clattered to the bar floor where I scooped it up for safekeeping. "You okay?" I asked Victor.

He smoothed down his hair. "Indeed."

"I get it," Zee was saying to Jimmy. "We all want to stab Fancy Daddy. If I haven't wanted to murder him at least three times by lunch, then it's a slow fucking day. But we can't go around murdering people we don't like, even vampires. Unless your name is Adam. Guests leave bad reviews and Adam gets grumpy." Little Jimmy's big eyes darted to me then back to Zee's face. He definitely understood. "Also, Fancy Fangs just bought me cake. So let's ease off the murder vibes?"

"The wards were slow to activate," Victor remarked.

"Maybe pixies are the same as gremlins. Technically, they're vermin. Not covered by the wards." I wondered aloud.

"Imma put you down, but if you go for any of us, including Fancy Fangs over there, I will pull your tiny wings off. I know you understand. We good?"

Little Jimmy glowered with all the hate his tiny body could muster, then nodded once. Zee's tail gingerly set him down on the nearby table, and we watched as Jimmy settled on his feet and gave himself a very Zee-like, all-over body shake. He huffed, and crossed his arms, while Zee stood next to him, also with his arms crossed.

They sort of looked the same, but Zee was much bigger, and more handsome. But still, kinda... the same.

"Don't say it," I warned Victor. He had to be thinking the same thing.

"I would not dream of it."

"What?" Zee frowned.

"Nothing." I approached them both, and crouched so I was eye level with Jimmy. He probably wouldn't try to hurt me, but he was still a wild, unpredictable, mass-murdering pixie, so it paid to be careful. "Hey, there. You remember me, right? I let you out of that tin, and then you helped us escape the freezer by killing a whole bunch of fae, which we definitely do not need to get into right now. So uhm... You've probably noticed we have lots of gremlins staying with us, and I have to be honest with you, gremlins are not great for business. Too many gremlins means we have to close the hotel, and then nobody has anywhere safe to stay." Jimmy cocked his head. Did he understand? He didn't talk outside of snarls and growls, so I couldn't be sure I was getting through to him.

"I got this. We've bonded. We're tight." Zee moved to my side and eyed Jimmy. "If your pals don't fuck off, we're all fucked, in an unfun way."

Little Jimmy's eyes narrowed to angry slits.

"Yeah, honestly Zee, I'm not sure that's working."

"What? He totally understands."

Victor stepped up to my left side, and a growl bubbled out of Jimmy.

Zee snorted. "He really does not like you, Fancy Daddy."

"Yet we've never met," Victor mused aloud, and studied the pixie.

"Nobody likes vampires."

Jimmy's growl thickened and his top lip rippled over tiny, sharp teeth.

"Yeah, but he really doesn't seem to like Victor," I added.

"You sure you've never met?" Zee asked. "That sneer seems personal."

"I am certain."

Jimmy's wings fluttered, then he knelt, and with a sharp claw began to carve into the wooden tabletop.

Zee sighed. "I don't think we're gonna get much sense out of him, Kitten."

But as I watched, the scratches Jimmy made turned into the letter H . Then he scratched out an A followed by an L .

I leaned in closer. "He's writing something. Look."

Zee approached the table as Jimmy scratched and chipped two words into the wood. When he was done, he sat back on his haunches and pointed.

HALP MI

"He can spell better than Seb," Zee remarked.

"Help me?" Victor suggested .

Jimmy started scratching out more words, leaving wood shavings behind.

HALP OO

"Help you?" Zee tilted his head. "I don't get it."

"Help me, help you," I translated. "He'll help us if we help him. Is that it, Jimmy? You'll help us get rid of the gremlins if we help you with something?" He blinked blankly. "I think that's it." But Victor and Zee both wore skeptical expressions.

"A deal would be reasonable," Victor said. "But what does a pixie want?"

Jimmy growled at Victor.

"Right now, I think he wants your balls on a plate. You don't need 'em. You should give them up. Take a hit for the team."

"Does every single thought fall from your mouth, demon?"

"Maybe Big Jimmy—Junk Jim—knows what he wants?" I asked, distracting them from what would probably end up being another argument. "He had Little Jimmy in a tin for a reason. Maybe Jim knows more?"

Again, Victor and Zee frowned. "It's a stretch, Adam."

I shrugged. "What else are we going to do? Watch the remaining guests up and leave while the gremlins eat the hotel around us?"

"I highly recommend an evening of alcoholic entertainment at the hotel bar," Tom piped up.

"Not at eighteen bucks a cocktail, Tom," I called back.

"Nineteen. If you don't like it, take it up with management."

"I am management."

"Then start acting like it."

My head hurt, and after everything, I still didn't have the napkin I'd originally asked for. "I'll buy my own napkins, Tom."

"You go do that. In the meantime, the cake will go st?—"

What happened next none of us could have predicted, or stopped. At the mention of cake, Jimmy's little ears pricked, and he shot like a tiny firework from the table top toward the cake.

Zee lunged, trying to catch him. And missed.

Jimmy plunged into the cake. Icing and sponge flew. Cake carnage ensued.

"My cake!" Zee thrust his hand into the cake, and yanked out the chocolate covered pixie.

Jimmy's tiny hands shoveled as much cake into his mouth as was possible.

"Fucking, time out! Bad pixie! Tom, you got a container back there?"

"Sure do."

Zee stomped to the bar and shoved Jimmy into a large mixing cannister. Tom slapped the lid on. The mixer buzzed, sounding like an angry bee in a jar.

"Just make sure to crack the lid a few times, so he doesn't suffocate, I guess," Zee grumbled, then his wings sagged as he laid his gaze on the crumbled remains of the cake.

"We'll get another cake."

"It's fine." He brightened, but the smile was one of his old Razorsedge smiles, that barely warmed his eyes. "Everything is fucking fine. It's my birthday. I'm immune to bad shit. Let's go find Junk Jim." Zee stomped from the bar, leaving me with Victor, who sighed at the cake, looking more dejected than ever.

I was definitely going to have to do something to cheer them both up. "You okay?" I asked him.

"I'd like to be, Adam."

We stood in the quiet for a while, surrounded by bits of cake. He'd gone to a great deal of effort to organize all that, and now it was in pieces on the floor. "It's going to be okay, you know."

"Optimism is a wonderful thing."

"Also known as hope, and I've gotten by on hope for a long time. Trust me. What else can go wrong today?"

Finally, his lips ticked into that tiniest of smiles. "Indeed. Let us hope that is the last of our bad luck for one day."

Unfortunately, it was not.