Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

I braced for the onslaught of vampires to come at me, but instead, Zee scooped me up, and before I knew what had happened, the swish of his wings and a sudden jerk on my insides signaled we were in the air.

I clung on, buried my face in his chest, and listened to my heart hammer with his. It had been a really, really long time since I'd flown—apart from in Reynard's jet, which didn't count.

As soon as we were up, it seemed as though we were coming down again. My insides whooshed , and we landed in a graveyard just a block from the hotel.

Zee bent over and puffed. "Can't . . . carry you . . . for long. Super . . . heavy."

"Are they gone?" I searched the dark and the long grass around the gravestones for any movement.

"Yeah." He snorted and shoved off his thighs, to stand upright. "One major vampire weakness is that the losers can't fly." Zee's eyes grew big in the dark. "Fuck, can you fly?"

"I haven't done so for a really long time. I don't even know if I can remember how. "

"How long have you been stuck in that human glamor?"

We started through the grass, heading for the graveyard exit. "Years. Since I... Uh... Since I left home and came here, right before the veil locked down for good."

"Don't you miss it?" he asked, flicking out his wings now that we headed down the street and had more space around us. His tail swished too. He'd never really had to hide what he was. He revelled in it.

"I did. But I got used to it, I guess."

"That's sad."

"Is it?" If I'd stopped to think about it, I may have been a little envious of his freedom.

"Flying is the fucking best. After sex. And you. And mac and cheese. Then it's the best."

"Right," I chuckled. "I sometimes dream of being among the stars again, but that's all it is now, a dream."

"I've never seen a dragon," he mused, striding alongside me.

"Not many people have."

" Wilson's Guide says dragons are vicious, mass-murdering butchers who breathe fire and get off on destruction. Guess he'd never met you, huh?"

"Uhm, yeah, no, he's right. They're kind of exactly like that, actually."

"Huh." He nudged my arm. "I bet your dragon dick is huge."

The laugh that fell out of me echoed down the nighttime street. "Zee, you are the best."

"Yeah. I know." He fluttered his wings and made his eyebrows jump. "But is it, though? Because you're big, right? When you're not... you." He waved his arms to encompass my body. "So, your dick must be fucking enormous."

"Oh my stars! Do you really want me to answer that?"

"Have you seen a horse's dick?" he asked .

"Uh. No? Have you?" Wait, no, I didn't want to know—too late.

"Have I! They're big. And we're not talking freakishly big horses, even just normal horses have huge dicks—I know this because of centaurs, before you ask how I've become acquainted with horse dicks—and you said you're way bigger than a horse, or a house, so..."

A freeing shiver passed through me, signaling we'd entered the outer edge of the hotel's wards, and with the hotel just a little ways up ahead, I pulled him to a stop and slammed a kiss on his mouth—the only way to silence him.

His strong arms looped around me, crushing me close, and the kiss consumed us both, chasing away every worry and doubt.

Zee pulled back, and bumped his nose with mine. "You smell like dead vampire and burn barrels, but you're so fucking cute."

He smelled like home. Like sanctuary. Like freedom. Like Zee.

The hotel doors burst open. Madame Matase hurried down the steps and called, "Adam, Zodiac, quickly, to the bar! It's an emergency!"

Something was off with her tone, but Zee had hold of my arm, and dragged me up the steps, across the porch, and through the door. Why wasn't there anyone in the lobby? Where had the guests gone? This didn't feel right. I searched behind us for Madame Matase, but she hadn't followed us inside.

"Zee, wait?—"

"If it's Seb, imma shove my dancing pole up his ass, and—" He exploded through the bar doors.

"SURPRISE!" Streamers rained, balloons bounced, poppers popped, and the staff and the guests' beaming faces peered at us both .

Zee sprang into his battle pose, crouched, with his nails spread and sharp teeth bared. I almost leaped out of my human bones, and if I hadn't been cursed I probably would have shifted skins on the spot.

Among the celebratory chaos, Victor stood with his arms crossed. Confetti had collected in his black hair, and the world's smallest hint of a smile lifted the corners of his mouth.

He had done this.

Correction. From the unmistakably mischievous glimmer in Tom Collins's eyes, they had done this.

The streamers settled, the balloons stopped bouncing, and everyone waited for Zee's reaction.

He straightened. Shook off the battle readiness and paper streamers from around his horns. "Wait. Is this... This is for me?"

Victor stepped forward. He had one sleeve rolled down, while the other remained wedged behind his elbow. Glitter twinkled on his shirt. He looked as though he'd been assaulted by a party animal. It couldn't have been easy to get all this ready, and then to have everyone wait around for us.

"Shall we try again?" Victor said. "Happy birthday, Zodiac."

Unbridled joy bloomed across Zee's face. He marched the three steps to Victor, who tensed, eyes widening as though Zee was about to take a swing at him, but the wards didn't activate. Probably because Zee grasped Victor's face and slammed a kiss on his mouth. And it wasn't a friendly, chaste kiss either. Zee attacked with all the fervor of a professional incubus.

Victor froze, but his hang-ups only lasted a heartbeat, before he clutched at Zee's arms and definitely began kissing Zee back.

Seconds ticked by . . .

The kiss went on . . .

Zee's tail flicked. Victor rocked with the motion of their embrace.

Erm. Maybe they should get a room?

I shouldn't watch, but also couldn't look away. Zee and Victor, tongue-wrestling, hand-grabbing. There was even some hip action going on. Mercy, they were spicy hot.

Tom rang a bell, jolting the crowd and me back to reality. "Drinks are on hotel management!"

What? They were? "Tom? We didn't talk about this." Too late. The crowd surged the bar.

Zee and Victor finally stopped trying to devour each other's faces, and after a tender, lingering glance at Victor, Zee swooped into the crowd of guests and staff, herding everyone toward Tom. "This is the best birthday. You guys are the best."

I ventured to where Zee had left Victor half-collapsed over a table. He wore the wide-eyed expression of someone who'd just had an incubus try to lick out their soul. "You okay?"

He touched his lips and swallowed. "Surprisingly, yes?"

"Have you ever been kissed by a demon before?"

"I can say, without any doubt, in my very long and varied existence, I have not." He pulled out the chair and carefully lowered himself into it, clearly still reeling.

Did he like the kiss? It had looked as though he had. "What do you think?"

He rapidly unbuttoned his collar, and yanked his shirt away from his neck. "I've never known anyone to kiss with their entire body like he does."

Yeah, he'd been into it. Grinning, I perched on the edge of his table. "This is a really nice thing you did."

Victor's idle gaze sought out Zee across the room, then flicked back to me. "After the cake debacle, I was rather at a loss as to where to go or how to rectify it. The surprise party was Tom's idea, and of course, it appears to be a hit with Zodiac." He watched Zee again, lining up shots for the guests with Tom's help. "However, I did wonder if it was all for nothing when you didn't return."

"We had a run in with some vampires. I'll tell you about it later." There was no use in ruining the party mood.

"Sounds ominous."

"We also ran into Princess Daisy. I think it might be a good idea if you stay at the hotel as much as possible."

"You met Daisy ?" Victor rubbed at his forehead. "I am interminably sorry, Adam."

"Don't be." I dropped into the chair next to him. "Her obsession is not your fault. But since Seb and Gideon appear to be working together with Daisy, and it's escalating, and then the whole elevator accident, we'll need a plan."

"I agree?—"

Zee slammed two drinks down on the table. "A Bloody Bitch for Lord Fancy Fangs, and a whiskey for you, Kitten. That is the first round of many. We're all getting wasted, we're having fun, and we're going to discover if Victor is a grumpy drunk."

"Unfortunately, it's likely my metabolism will destroy the alcohol as fast as I am able to consume it."

Zee shook his head. "All I'm hearing are boring vampire noises. Don't worry, Tom will know how to fuck you up." He bounded off to give Tom his mission for the rest of the night.

I tried to hide my smirk, but it only grew when Victor side-eyed me. "He won't stop until you admit defeat."

"I am beginning to realize that." But at least Victor had relaxed too. "Thank you again, Adam, for allowing me to stay and participate in this hotel and your life. I'm certain I do not deserve it, but I will endeavor to try."

We'd come a long way in just over a month.

Zee, me, and Victor. We were good together. Stronger together. But how could I tell Zee I was nothing like what he thought me to be? The prophecy said, to save the world I had to die. My heart was the prize, not me.

A heart shall rise, a beacon bright.

A heart so many had died and killed for.

The heart Zodiac admired.

"Adam?" Victor sensed my malaise.

"It's nothing." Smiling, I downed my whiskey. "We deserve some fun."

"Would it not be prudent for one of us to remain functional to see to the safe running of the hotel?"

"Nothing is going to implode in the next few hours. Plus, you can't escape Zee's challenge that easily. Battle lines are drawn."

Victor eyed his Bloody Bitch, then encircled it with his fingers. "I do not recall the last time I behaved irresponsibly."

I laughed. "Don't let him hear you say that or he'll have you doing Bermuda Slammers."

"Perhaps, just this night, for his birthday, a little irresponsibility will not hurt."

"That's the wild, chaotic, fun-loving Victor we know."

Victor almost chuckled. "Indeed."

As the evening wore on and my vision got fuzzy around its edges, at some point, someone—maybe me—suggested we should investigate the portal, to see if it had gotten any bigger. As that seemed like a terrible idea while our judgment was impaired by alcohol, we went right ahead and did it.

But as I stood in front of the weird, hovering, throbbing mass, and my insides churned, I began to have second thoughts.

"Kinda looks like a pussy," Zee was saying .

I frowned at the angry tear in the air. It didn't resemble a cat, at all.

"I suspect he means a different kind of pussy," Victor said, standing at my right side.

"Oh."

"Lord Fuck-Hard said pussy." Zee snorted. "Wait, Adam didn't say anything. Did you just read his mind?"

Victor sighed. Even in our intoxicated states, not much had changed. I wasn't even sure Victor had changed at all, despite downing several potent Bloody Bitches with Tom's added ingredients.

"Can you read mine?" Zee asked, as though the idea was the best idea he'd ever had. He stumbled forward and folded his arms, as though his crossed arms might stop vampire brain waves. "What am I thinking about right now?"

Victor's eyebrows lifted. After a few moments, he said, "My penis."

Zee's eyes blew wide. "Fuck. Why didn't you tell us you could read fucking minds? And now? What am I thinking about right now?"

Victor gave a heavy sigh, and said, " Your penis."

"Sweet baby Gareth. All this fucking time you've been in my head?"

After catching Victor's sneaky side glance, I figured it was time to stop his goading. "I don't think he's reading your mind, Zee," I said.

"Then how did he know?"

"Honestly, it's not that hard to figure out what you're thinking."

"What?" He recoiled, as though offended, then considered what he'd learned. "Yeah, okay, good point. But I don't always think about dicks." He backed up and eyed the portal again. "Sometimes it's pussy."

"That's a very unfortunate pussy," Victor remarked. Which was a sentence I never thought I'd hear come from his lips.

Zee's smile twitched. "Say pussy again, daddy."

"No."

"Oh-kay."

Were we really in my old room, comparing a dark, throbbing portal to female genitals? Was that a thing that was happening, or was I so drunk I'd passed out at the bar and this was some weird, feverish dream? The latter seemed more likely.

"I'd like to suggest Zodiac goes inside, and if he doesn't return in five minutes, we leave and lock the door, sealing it off from the rest of the hotel."

"What about saving Zodiac?" Zee asked.

"He—you have already entered it once," Victor said. "If it was fatal, you'd already be deceased."

"I'm not sensing a lot of love from you right now, vampire. You can't leave me in there. I am useful to have around. For one, as you're now homeless and out of work, Your Lordship, someone has to pay the hotel's bills. And two... two... I got nothing. There's only one good reason. Fuck, why am I even here?"

"You can poof out, Zee. Like you did before."

"Oh right, yeah, I forgot. Two, I can obviously translocate, so it makes sense that I'll go in there. Again. Because it was so much fucking fun the first time."

"Perhaps try and make it through?—"

"I fucking know how a pussy— portal works. I know how to portal . Ugh, you're distracting with all your grumpy, sexy, dom-ness."

"I'm not sure this is a good idea. We might be a bit too drunk—" I began, but then Zee poofed out of sight. "And he's gone."

"He'll be fine." Victor shrugged, in a very un-Victor-like, " meh" reaction.

Hm, there was definitely something different about Victor. Perhaps he wasn't an angry drunk, but more of an irresponsible drunk. Which made me the responsible one? Oh dear. "I liked sensible Victor. We need more of him, and less of whoever you are right now."

His lips ticked. "I have to admit, I'm rather enjoying this party, and your company, and—more alarmingly—Zodiac's presence, despite his attempts to have me vocalize various genitalia."

He sounded the same, but there was a definite shimmer to his gaze. "Are you drunk?"

"Fractionally inebriated."

Was that a yes?

Zee poofed back into the room between us and the portal, dripping goo, just like before. "I am shooketh." He flicked bits of gelatinous slime from his fingers and tail. "Whoever made that portal needs a good talking to about using too much lube."

"It's like witnessing a demon birth. Perhaps now you'll mature at the same rate as the rest of us," Victor said.

Zee showed him his middle finger.

"Did you make it through?" I asked.

"Of course I fucking did. I am the master of penetration. And get this. At first, I thought I was in some weird-ass closet, but then, what do I see? A fancy logo of two letters. And guess what those letters were?"

Oh no.

"Fucking right. RT ."

"What?" Reynard's humor vanished.

"I fucking know, right?! This portal goes straight to your front door, Your Royal Fuckness. Actually, it goes to the inside of a closet that Gideon Cain hasn't stamped his name on yet. But outside the closet is super shiny and expensive. "

"It goes to Reynard Technologies?" Victor asked, making sure.

"Exactly. Should have known. Maybe you did know, huh? Is this a vampire conspiracy to get inside our hotel?"

"That's not..." Victor trailed off as he approached the portal. "No, of course not."

Zee's raised eyebrow and questioning glance had my heart sinking. We'd had some trust issues with Victor, but we'd worked through them. He hoarded secrets like I hoarded cat ornaments. But something like this portal was too important to keep from me—from us. There was no way he'd known where it went, or he'd have told us.

"There are easier ways to get inside," I said. "Like the front door."

We couldn't keep vampires out—or Gideon's spies apparently—only those who had ill intent, like Daisy. Which meant this portal wasn't for nefarious means, or the wards wouldn't have allowed it. So why was it here?

"It's not possible..." Victor muttered, staring up at the pulsing doorway.

"Clearly it is, as I have bits of lube in parts of me not even Adam has explored." Zee squelched to the portal beside Victor. "You goin' to explain why there's a fucking black Eye of Sauron right over Adam's bed that happens to go directly to your evil tower, Fancy Pants?"

Victor's gaze found me. "I have a theory, but it's a conversation Adam and I need to have alone."

"Whatever it is, Zee can hear it." I'd joined them both next to the portal now too.

Zee smirked. "Ha! Me and Adam are a team. There's no Victor in team."

"If you're certain, Adam, as it involves some issues you've been somewhat reluctant to discuss."

"It's fine." Whatever it was, Zee could hear it. I'd also had just about enough of Victor's secrets, and if he knew what this was, then the time to tell us was now. Not later, not after some other emergency had distracted everyone. Right now.

"Very well. As you saw during your earlier visit, Reynard Technologies has a research and development department."

"That's where that monitoring thing is, that tracks all the Lost Ones," I said.

"That's right. I was in the process of shutting it down when Gideon took over. But there is one Lost One nobody has ever found. A certain individual said to hold immense power. A being who would be a threat to humanity, and in the wrong hands, perhaps the entire world. Project Prophecy was tasked with finding such an individual—should they exist."

Oh dear. "Anyhoo, wow. Look at the time. We should get back to the party, and to finding out how to save Jimmy's family. Right. Let's go do that." I turned my back and almost got away with it, but Zee's tail coiled around my wrist, and gently pulled, keeping me from escaping.

"Kitten? What's Victor talking about?"

"What?" I laughed. "Nothing. Nothing at all. Just some silly apocalypse thing."

"Oh right, just the end of the world. Sure." Zee shrugged, but the sarcasm lacing his tone wasn't the amused kind.

"You know," I began, as a new plan formed in my mind, and a way to distract everyone from the topic of me. "If we were to go through this portal, we'd end up right inside Reynard Technologies. Once there, we could find Jimmy's family using that monitoring software, and maybe you can shut it down for good. Then we get back here using the portal and nobody would know it was us?"

Both of them stared. Victor wore his resting Reynard face, suggesting he either loved the idea, hated it, or was singing the lyrics to "Baby Shark" in his head. But Zee's eyes were narrow. He knew I'd changed the subject to get around explaining why I did not want to discuss the apocalypse.

The seconds ticked by, the portal throbbed behind them both, and the weight of my big secret pushed in from all around.

Victor, standing slightly behind Zee and out of his line of sight, glanced at him, then at me. "I'm sure I'm wrong," he said, rescuing me. "And this is just a calculation error that has opened up a random door above your bed, Adam. A mere... mishap."

"Yes." I clicked my fingers. "That's exactly what this is. An accounting error."

"Someone typed the wrong numbers into an Excel spreadsheet and summoned a pussy-shaped portal to Adam's room?" Zee asked, his face screwed up in doubt.

"Erm . . . yeah?" I ventured.

"Huh, okay. I guess that's a thing that happens now." Zee ran a hand through his gelled hair, sweeping it back from his horns. "Right, so, we are all getting lubed by the portal, so we can fuck up Gideon Cain's hostile takeover of Reynard's business and search for Jimmy's kidnapped family. Right?"

"But first," Victor added, "We need Little Jimmy's real name."