37. Jae

Chapter thirty-seven

Jae

"I miss the feeling of your lips on me. I miss the way your body folds into mine. I miss the way you smell invading my senses. I miss the sight of you walking through the door, but most of all, I miss the sound of your voice and how it sounds when you tell me you love me."

I wake up in bed alone which is no surprise, but after last night I had hoped I exhausted him enough for him to be able to sleep longer. But the more I think about it, my sadness evaporates. I didn't notice him waking up during the night, so either he's gotten good at sneaking around the house, or he actually slept, either way, I'm not one to argue. But I hope he managed to sleep through the night. That's the most important thing.

The sound of music blaring from the garage fills the house instantly.

My heart pounds for a few moments, the bass filling the house, vibrations causing the room to shake.

I'm okay, I'm okay.

It's just Dax and his music.

I'm home, I'm safe, I'm not on the field.

Rolling over to take my phone from the side, I see 7am staring back at me. I'm used to waking up early, my body does so automatically.

I am not, however, used to waking up feeling as though I'm in an earthquake.

Clicking on my messages, I notice Idah still hasn't read any messages I've sent to her. That's more than five days of not hearing from or seeing her.

I'm going to see her today. Whether she wants to talk or not. She can't hide forever.

Swinging my legs out the side of the bed, I pull myself up, slowly walking towards the wardrobe in search of some fresh boxers and clothes. Images of last night flash through my mind, pulling a smile to my face.

It was the first time we had been intimate with each other in a while, I tried to pull myself back. I didn't want him to feel like I was pushing him into something he wasn't ready for but when I recognised the fire in his eyes, the same as my own, I couldn't hold myself back much longer.

It's obvious that he was glad about it too.

After putting on some fresh boxers and pants, I take a look in the mirror, inspecting my side. It's healing nicely, but the scars and memories remain.

"You need to stay awake, Major, don't go to sleep. Stay with me, Summers. Help is on the way; I know it's hurting right now. Please just stay awake," Noah cries.

The bullet penetrated my side faster than the speed of lightning.

It hurts. Everything hurts.

"I can't, Noah, it hurts."

"I know it hurts; believe me, Jae, I know. But we're getting you out. I promise you're getting out." I close my eyes in agony, reminding myself over and over I cannot fall asleep. I need to stay awake. Pulling at my dog tags, squeezing as though I'm begging for everything to be okay. I need to be okay.

Ocean blue eyes take over my vision, I'm not able to see anything else. Focus on anything else.

"You're going to be okay, sunshine, come home to me." A deep baritone, playing repeatedly in my mind.

I need to be okay for him.

I need to be okay for Dax.

"Fuck, we've got to stop the bleeding. Liam! Take your bandana off. Push it against his side, we need to do something. We're going to lose him. I can't lose him." Noah's voice is panicked. I can hear the fear in his tone.

"It's not stopping, FUCK," Liam shouts from the side of me. "Where the fuck are the medics? Why are they taking so fucking long?"

"I don't fucking know, mate, whatever you do, do not take that bandana from his side, do you hear me?"

I've never heard Noah's voice laced with so much rage, so much fear. That alone scares me more than I already am.

"Please come home to me, Jae," Dax's voice whispers in my mind again.

I need to get out. I can't die. I promised him I would go home. He's waiting for me.

I can't leave him.

The pain is excruciating. I've never felt anything like it before. I've felt pain a million times, I've even been shot a handful of times before.

But not like this.

Thankfully my body had long turned numb in shock after the bullet entered.

But all I'm left with now is the fear.

"Move out of the fucking way soldiers, we've got him," a voice shouts as I feel my body being dragged from the floor into someone's arms.

And then my mind fades to black.

I squint at the memory, feeling the phantom-like pain in my side as though it was happening all over again.

In those few short moments, I felt like I was back in the field.

I take a step back, sitting on the side of the bed to regain my breath.

I'm here, I'm safe, I'm with him.

And I sit and stare out the window, watching the sunflowers dancing in the wind, taking in a deep breath and counting to three.

One, two, three.

Walking into the side door of the garage, I immediately come into view of Dax working on his bike. He's looking the opposite way, but I soak in the sight of him either way. The flowers which cover his back, curl around his form, the bright colours standing out against his pale skin.

The art on his skin compliments the beauty of his face.

Both breathtaking.

He has a playlist on repeat, blasting through the open space, lost in his own world, singing along to the lyrics. He knows exactly what song is playing just by listening to a few seconds of the tune.

I slowly approach his side, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. He has his hair down today, not in a bun, which is how he's been wearing it lately, probably due to the length. It looks good.

"How come you're up so early? Could you not sleep?"

"Oh, I definitely slept. I knew what you were doing, by the way. You and your wicked mouth. The bike needed an oil change, I thought I'd do it before I left for work. I'm sorry if I woke you up, I didn't mean to."

"No, you didn't, don't worry. It was the sun. I should get some blinds on the windows, but I like it. It reminds me I'm not on the field anymore." I shrug.

He puts down the towel he's using and turns around to face me. "I know, sunshine. You're so busy checking on my sleep, I notice that you don't sleep much either you know. We've got to look after each other."

There's no point denying my lack of sleep. I don't sleep the best; I wake up multiple times during the night. Sometimes the memories, the nightmares, feel too real, I can't get myself back to sleep afterwards.

But I do sleep better with him in my arms.

I pull him into my arms, bringing him closer into my body, tipping my head down to tuck it into the crook of his neck and shoulder.

Hints of the ocean air and caramel invade my senses.

I'm finally home and I never want to leave.