35. Jae

Chapter thirty-five

Jae

"You know what scares me the most? The idea of not having you anymore. I hate that I think about it sometimes. I don't want to. But sometimes I feel like I have to prepare myself in case one day I do."

I look to my side, admiring the look on Dax's face as he softly snores in the passenger seat as we drive down the road. He's managed to get more sleep recently, but it still isn't enough. I don't have enough fingers to count on both hands the number of times I find him awake in the middle of the night, staring out the window, looking into the sky.

What's going on in that head of yours, beautiful?

Since he has been staying at my house the last few days, I've taken him to and from work – I know he'll be missing his bike and the freedom it gave him, so on the way home, I make a pit stop to pick it up. My car isn't as big as Tyler's, but he assured me he'd be able to get the bike onto it somehow and said if he couldn't he'd come drop it off himself.

Quietly pulling up in the drive outside his house, knowing Tyler is already at home after work, I take a few moments, contemplating whether or not to wake him up so he can go in his house, but it almost feels evil doing that when I can see how at ease he is right now, I don't want to disturb that. I turn the radio on low and climb out of the car, carefully closing the door behind me.

Taking the step at the door, it only takes two knocks before I can hear Tyler shout towards the window, "Coming now, star girl."

Star girl?

He comes rushing to the door with a towel around his waist and nothing else, obviously he's just gotten out of the shower. "You're not who I expected… Oh fuck, sorry, mate, I forgot. Dax's bike. Right. On it. Come in mate." He runs away, clearly embarrassed.

"Oh I'm sorry, expecting someone else, who's star girl?" I tease.

"No one. Oh god, don't tell D. Where is he anyway?"

"He's asleep in the car. We've just come back from the gardens. He fell asleep, I didn't want to wake him. He's started sleeping more, but still not enough. It wouldn't be fair of me to wake him up. He's been waking up during the night, I don't think he knows I know. I haven't mentioned it, I don't want to make a scene out of it."

"Yeah, good plan, mate. I won't be long, I'll get the bike and put it onto the car as quietly as I can."

"Tyler?"

"Yeah?"

"You're still in a towel."

"Oh, shit, yeah. Be right back."

He runs out of the room, making his way up the stairs. He still didn't tell me who "star girl" was, but there's no need to push for information. Dax and Tyler are the complete opposite of one another, from everything I'd been told before meeting him, I already felt like I knew him. I think he felt the same because he's treated me with nothing but kindness and acceptance since I introduced myself properly in the shop. And I couldn't be more thankful for it. He's important to Dax which makes him important to me. I have a large amount of respect for the man, when they lost their mum, Tyler dropped everything to take care of him.

But who takes care of Tyler?

I hope he has found someone who makes him happy, it's the least he deserves.

He walks back into the room in light blue jeans and a white button-down shirt. He has the same hair colour as Dax, but it isn't as long as his. Tyler likes to keep his hair shorter, and he has no tattoos, unlike Dax. No piercings, either. "Well, I didn't know you were getting dressed up for me too mate. You look good, you clean up well. You going on a date yourself?"

"Something like that, I guess." He feels awkward answering that question. Everything Dax has told me of Tyler, he's never been one for relationships. Which explains the way he's acting right now, it's obvious when a guy is nervous, and Tyler? You can tell from a mile away.

"I'm happy for you, mate, you deserve some time for you. I hope it goes well."

"Thanks, I hope so too. Now come on, before she gets here. Let's get the bike on the back of the car."

Just like Tyler said, we managed to get the bike on the back of the car easily. I didn't think we would be able to, but the guy was determined to make it happen. Nerves clearly eating at him while doing so. It was done in perfect timing, as when pulling out of the drive, a Land Rover came around the corner, wanting to pull in instead.

Dax is still asleep in the passenger side, completely knocked out. I don't think I've noticed him sleeping for this long since we first got together. Thankfully the drive from their house to mine is a lot quieter than the main roads with it mostly being back streets, so there isn't really anything around which could wake him up.

Driving down the side street before pulling into the drive, I hear him mumble as he starts to shift in his seat, clearly getting uncomfortable. I turn off the engine as quickly as I can, undoing my seat belt and leaning over to try and comfort him. "Hey, pretty boy, you can wake up now, we're home," I whisper quietly into his ear while rubbing his knees, encouraging him to wake up from feeling the contact.

It doesn't take long for him to open his eyes, showing a look of confusion. "Did I sleep the whole way home?" he asks as he rubs his face with both hands. He's still half asleep, it's obvious by his body movements. "Yeah, don't worry though. We're home now. I've even brought your bike back for you, I know you must have been missing it. I texted Tyler on the way home and you were fast asleep, I didn't want to wake you. We managed to get it on the back." He starts to wake up more now, opening his eyes fully and undoing his seat belt. "Oh, thank you. You didn't have to do that for me, you've done -" I stop him mid-sentence, putting my hand over his mouth so he can't speak. "You don't need to thank me for doing anything. I know I don't have to do anything. I chose to do it and I enjoy looking after you." He lowers his shoulders, relaxing his body, releasing a low sigh before giving me a small smile. "I just don't want to be a burden anymore," he says quietly. If I wasn't already looking at him, I probably wouldn't have noticed him saying it.

"You'll never be a burden, not to me. Not to anyone. Please don't think like that, Dax."

He slowly nods his head towards me.

One, two, three times.

I hate how he thinks so little of himself. How he thinks he's so much trouble for everyone. If there was a way for me to take away the pain of him thinking that, I would in a heartbeat. No questions asked.

"Are you ready to go inside? I could do with a coffee."

He laughs. "Yeah, me too." he yawns while stretching his arms over his head.

Even still half asleep, he manages to steal my breath away.