34. Jae

Chapter thirty-four

Jae

"I've fallen asleep every night holding onto your dog tags. Holding on to you, because it's all I have."

I'm awoken by the sun as it blissfully beams through the windows. Reflections of oranges and yellows bounce from the mirror on the other side of the room to the walls opposite. Dax's scent of ocean sea salt invades my senses as I nuzzle my face into his hair.

I've dreamt about this for so long.

Before we left the store last night after the two boys got picked up, I pulled Tyler to the side, asking if it would be okay if I was to take Dax out for the day. He seemed more than happy with the idea; he didn't hesitate to reply. He mentioned it's half term for the boys at school, so he's spoken to their mum about them being in the shop during school hours because she's also a teacher and needs to be at work. I didn't question it. I saw how he was with the boys and how he is with Dax especially, he's amazing. It's obvious he enjoys their company just as much as they do his. I did, however, stress a million times, that if he needs us for whatever reason, to send either of us a text and we'd be straight back. To which his reply was, "I can manage a shop and two teenagers. You go deal with my brother."

He's been more than supportive of our relationship, part of me was worried he wouldn't approve of me being back, especially with how Dax was after I left. But I can see that he's happy for his brother. He cares about him, we both do. I'm just more than happy to give Tyler some time to relax.

He deserves happiness too.

I feel Dax to my side, slowly starting to wake up, clearly feeling uncomfortable, fidgeting between the blankets.

"I want to take you on a date," I say as I wrap my arms around his waist, pulling him close to my body.

"Excuse me?" He's still half asleep, full of confusion.

Cute.

"A date. Let me take you on one."

"You don't need to take me on a date, you do enough for me." His pale skin starts to blush, similar to the colour of a pink rose.

Admiration, happiness, love.

"Besides, I'm at work today, remember?"

"Nope. Already spoken to Tyler. Frankie and Theo are there again today anyway, he mentioned they're keeping him company, so he's fine with you not being there, and I know I don't need to do anything. But I want to. So, can I take you on a date, pretty boy?"

I did question for a moment how relieved Tyler was about Dax not going into work today, it was almost as though he was about to beg me to keep him away before I asked, telling me that Frankie and Theo are going to be at the shop most of the day anyway as he'd spoken to Novah earlier. There was a sense of familiarity with the way he said her name, and the look on his face when he said it too.

He corrected himself when I gave him a questioning look, but I didn't push him.

"You can take me anywhere. But let me make sure it's okay with Ty myself. It's not fair I'm leaving him on his own so often, he deserves a break too."

"Hurry up and give him a call then if you need confirmation, because you've got ten minutes to get ready, then we're leaving."

Entering the post code into the sat nav, I notice it will only take forty-five minutes to drive to where we're heading, it isn't too far, but it's long enough to keep Dax guessing.

It also allows me to see more of Wales, driving through the country roads.

It's different to living in the Midlands where I was last stationed. Instead of being surrounded by buildings and busy roads, I'm now surrounded with open air, fields of green, and the sea. It's much different than on the fields in Afghanistan. For a few seconds every morning, I feel the need to pinch myself to remember I'm not in a dream and this is real.

This is my life now.

Coming to the slip road noticing a signpost on the road that reads "B4310 to Nantgaredig" I come off, following the brown signs to the National Botanic Garden of Wales. I'm not sure if he has been here before, he hasn't made any comments during the journey so far so I'm guessing he hasn't. He sat quietly the whole drive, with his headphones in both ears, zoning out from the world, staring out the window taking in the sights around him. Every chance I got, I turned my head to my left, taking the sight of him in.

Taking my left hand from the wheel, I move it towards his knee, giving it a tight squeeze.

"I think we're here now, pretty boy," I say, bringing his attention to the window at the front instead of the side.

A huge glass dome comes into view, taking both of our words away, fields of green surrounding and protecting what's inside. And I'm convinced I hear him whisper "Wow" no louder than a quiet breath. There's no time for me to ask if he's ready to go because as soon as the car is parked up, he's already climbing out with a smile stretching across his entire face and wide eyes as he looks around.

Fuck, this guy.

If I knew this was all it took to put that look on his face, I'd have brought him much sooner.

But the look on his face right now, is enough to make my chest feel warm. To fill me with butterflies.

"Let's go, old man," he shouts, practically running towards the entrance. He's like a child in a candy store. I've never seen him so excited before.

I laugh as I lock the car, making my way towards him.

I'll let him have that one, he'll pay for it later.

The gardens are beautiful, and to no surprise, Dax is able to tell me the name of the plant before we get to the signpost about them. He walks around slowly, taking photos on his phone, carefully inspecting each plant and explaining why they are the colour they are and what their purpose is. He's already teaching me everything there is to know about them. I learnt at the start of our relationship about things he had a special interest in, music and flowers being the two things he hyperfixates on. Learning the amount of information he knows about both was effortless for him, it was almost as though he was born already knowing what he knows. It's amazing really, seeing just how his mind processes and stores away information, which I couldn't even remember half of if I tried.

Everything about him is fascinating.

We've been walking around the grounds now for three hours and I can hear my stomach rumbling. However, he hasn't shown any sign of feeling uncomfortable or mentioned being hungry, so I've allowed him to enjoy himself, not wanting to ruin any fun he's having.

"I'm getting kinda hungry now, are you?" he mentions.

Fucking. Finally.

With him taking longer than I thought he would on the phone with Tyler earlier, I managed to prepare a picnic and slip it in the car with a blanket without him realising. He's not the best when it comes to food and I'd rather him eat. So, I made sure to pack all his favourite snacks and some leftover sushi from dinner last night for the both of us.

"I actually have stuff in the car, are you ready to head out? We can sit on the grass and eat before we drive back. If you want to stay here a little bit longer though, don't worry. It's all your call today." I tuck the strand of hair that's fallen out of his hair tie behind his ear before kissing his nose.

"No, I think I'm ready to leave. If we don't go now, I won't want to leave at all," he sighs. "Today has been perfect, thank you so much for bringing me here. I can't believe I haven't come sooner."

"We can come back whenever you want to, just say the word."

He takes my hand in his, looking up at me with as much admiration as he has with the flowers the past few hours. With love. And we slowly make our way towards the car.