29. Jae

Chapter twenty-nine

Jae

"I'm most excited for when you come home, and we can start looking for a house. I'd love an old cottage. Nothing too big, nothing too small. Just enough space for both of us. Maybe a small pet?"

After Dax fell asleep on the sofa, I carefully carried him to the spare bedroom upstairs. His body looked so fragile in my arms, it's obvious he hasn't been taking much care of himself lately. Tyler mentioned his brother hasn't been himself, but I didn't imagine things would be like this. But still, he's in my arms and he is safe. That's all I care about.

Once happy that he's now comfortable in the spare bed, I come back downstairs to retrieve my phone, sending the same text to both Tyler and Idah.

Jae: I have Dax here at my house. He fell asleep when we were sitting on the sofa, so I put him in the spare bedroom. I'm happy for him to stay here. If he wakes up and decides he wants to come home, I'll bring him back.

Tyler responds quickly, he must have been waiting for him to come home.

Tyler: Thanks, mate. He's been struggling to sleep for a while, I'm glad he's been able to. Let me know if he wants me to pick him up.

Idah doesn't respond. She mentioned she was going to see Lottie and I know she doesn't like to be on her phone when she's there. I don't worry too much about that, she'll reply when she gets home, I'm sure. She knows where I am if she needs me.

Something about having Dax in my house brings a sudden sense of ease to my body. Controlling my heartbeat. Knowing he's here and he's safe is a feeling I have missed. My body urges to be close to him, an overwhelming feeling of wanting to go climb into bed with him and pull him into my arms, but I know as much as I want to do that, I can't.

I need to be careful; I need to take my time. I don't want to rush him into anything, I don't want to cause any stress or harm.

He's safe, he's safe, he's safe.

After stopping myself for what feels like the hundredth time from checking on him, I decide the only other thing I can do to take my mind off him being upstairs is calling Bee.

After ringing twice and going straight to voicemail each time, I leave her a voice message asking if she's okay, checking she hasn't gone into labour. Issac would kill me if neither of us were there. I send a text straight after, too, just to double-check.

But as soon as I send the text, I hear a thud coming from the front door, sounding as though it had slammed shut.

My first plan of action is to run upstairs and check Dax is okay, which is what my feet are already doing before the thought even crosses my mind.

Please be okay, please be okay, please be okay.

I quickly open the bedroom door in a state of panic, throwing myself in the room, feet taking me straight to the bed. He always liked to sleep with the blanket over his head, in his own makeshift cocoon. He felt safer that way, protected from the world around him. So, it's the first thing I check for under the blankets.

Gone.

No, no, no, no, no.

"FUCK," I roar, throwing the blankets back, no longer neatly on the bed but now piled on the floor. Before I know it, I'm darting out of the room, throwing myself down the stairs. My body has now turned on autopilot mode. I quickly rush into the living room, collecting my phone before sprinting towards the door, taking my keys from the side table at the bottom of the stairs, locking the door behind me.

He hasn't been gone too long; he can't have gotten far.

My body responds quicker than my mind, this is what I'm trained to do. I'm trained to search and find; I'm trained to protect.

But I didn't protect him.

Sitting at the wheel, I spiral, focusing on different moments from my training, ranging from being at the barracks, to being in Afghanistan, to being in Belize in the jungle.

Think, soldier, think.

But there's only one place I know he would definitely go. The one place not far from me, the one place his body craves to be. The one place I know is most important to him here.

The stars. `