Ten

Harlow

Our last day at the village is Christmas Eve, where we work later hours to make sure every kid that shows up can talk to Santa. I meet up with Lily and give her the telescope Cal and I got for George, along with some other gifts for kids in the district who need it.

On my way back to the main office, I run into Maddie, who insisted on bringing Santa some cookies.

"You're going to come see me before you leave for California, right?" Maddie asks, her lower lip stuck out in a pout.

I glance at Sharon to make sure it's okay before telling Maddie, "Of course I'll come see you. And when I come back to visit, I'll bring you something, okay?"

Maddie beams and hugs me before skipping off to the parking lot.

Sharon gives me a hug before following her daughter.

Once they're gone, I glance at the red chair at the front of the line to find Cal watching me.

I keep my expression neutral even as heat shoots through my body. Over the past couple of weeks we've been together, I've only grown to like him more and more. I thought I had feelings for him in high school, but it's nothing compared to how much I want to be with him now. I'll admit that back in high school, a lot of those feelings were powered by lust, and while I definitely still feel that now, it's also more than that. I've gotten to know him better than I ever did when we were teens, and I'm getting to see layers of him I've never allowed myself to see with anyone else I was with. It's just always so much easier to keep people at arm's-length when I know they'll be done with me as soon as they've gotten what they want from me.

But with Cal, I already know he's going to leave; that was our deal, and it seemed like a really good idea at the time. But now whenever I think about us going our separate ways at the end of this, my stomach flips.

I do my best to ignore it throughout the day because I know that once Cal and I are back in my apartment alone, he'll be the only thing I'll focus on.

***

Cal isn't as nervous when we reach my apartment this time. I can feel a little of it rolling off him, but it's mixed with anticipation.

I take his hand and lead him back to my bedroom. "You okay?"

"Yeah." He gives me a shy smile, and I get angry all over again at his ex for what he did to him. I'm going to show Cal how his first time should have been.

I help him undress, letting my fingers glide along his shoulders as I pull his shirt off. His skin is so warm, and I can't stop myself from kissing him, from tasting every part of him that I can get my mouth on.

The last time we'd been this close was when I'd been at Cal's mercy. I'd loved that, but it's my turn now to explore every inch of Cal's body, and I'm not going to waste a single second.

I slide two fingers deep into him and watch as his body writhes beneath me. His mouth opens on a silent moan when I crook my fingers, and I swear I could watch him like this for the rest of my life.

But Cal has other plans.

"Don't prep me too much," he says, his voice breathless already. "I want to feel it."

"Oh, trust me, you're going to feel it." Still, I do what he asks, pulling my fingers from him and lining my cock up with his entrance.

I push in slow, watching his face to make sure he's okay. I can't remember ever wanting someone like this. But that's not the right word. Needing . I need Cal under me and beside me and near me.

Cal groans as I slide into him, and it's one of the sexiest sounds I've ever heard. How the hell could his ex have let him go?

Every muscle in my body is urging me to move, to plow into Cal until he can't remember a time before I was inside him. Before we were together. But I manage to start off slow because this is only Cal's second time, and he's fucking tight .

He gasps as I bottom out inside him, his muscles clenching over and over around my cock.

"Fuck," he whispers, grabbing my biceps and digging his fingers in. "Fuck, you're huge."

"Yeah, but you're going to take all of me, aren't you?"

He nods quickly. "Yes, fuck, yes. I need—I need more."

I'm not about to make him ask twice. I plant a hand by his head on the mattress and thrust deep into him, nearly losing my mind at the rightness of being inside him.

Calvin groans, his thighs tightening around my hips. I love seeing him like this—all his nerves gone as he loses himself in the moment.

I pull out and thrust in again, relishing the sound of my aching balls slapping against his taut cheeks. I'm impossibly deep in him, but it still doesn't feel deep enough. I want to feel every inch of him, to mark him and have him know that he's mine now.

Cal releases my arm so he can grab my free hand, linking our fingers together. It's the first time anyone's ever done that with me. And the connection…fuck, it's incredible.

When I thrust into him again, he lifts his hips to meet me, welcoming me. It's one of the most amazing things I've ever felt.

"That's it," I murmur. "Show me how much you really want it."

He whimpers and lifts his hips to meet my next thrust. His eyes are bleary with sex and lust, and I feel like I could look into them forever.

"You're gorgeous," I whisper and realize my voice is shaking. It's the power of whatever the hell this is between us—this longing and desperation and…love.

I surge forward and press my mouth to his, licking and sucking and tasting him.

He groans, and I feel his hips stutter as his tight ass starts clenching, drawing my orgasm from my body. He comes with a cry, wrapping his arms around me and burying his face in the crook of my neck.

I fuck him through it, coming undone at the way his muscles squeeze my cock. If it's possible, I sink even deeper into him, needing to take everything he's offering me.

And even after I come back down, I don't pull out immediately. I let the sweat cool on our skin, not wanting to pull away from the warmth of him. Not wanting to let my brain fully comprehend what just happened between us.

Eventually, I have to let go of him, but he doesn't let me get far. Instead, he curls against me, his head on my chest. It doesn't take long for his breathing to fall into the heavy pattern of sleep, and I lie awake staring up at the ceiling, my arm wrapped around him.

Why did the thought of love enter my mind when we were having sex? This was supposed to be an arrangement that we both walked away from when it was time. But now? Now, I feel my heart wanting to stay with him. I want Cal to be mine. I want him to want me.

But there's no way that he could. He approached me for sex, to help him get over his ex. He doesn't want me for me. He wants me for what I can do for him.

I don't want to have that conversation with him. Don't want to hear those words come out of his mouth. No, it's better if I just push him back to the arm's-length he was at before. Then maybe it won't hurt too much.