22. Ayla

22

AYLA

T he night air stabs my lungs as I burst through the front door, slamming it behind me with a satisfying thud. My breath escapes in huffs of white vapor, dissipating into the inky darkness. Shivering, I wrap my arms tightly around myself, the thin fabric of my sweater a pitiful defense against the biting cold.

I stride forward onto the small front porch, the wooden boards creaking under my feet. A solitary porch light flickers overhead, casting eerie shadows that dance across my face. I stop at the railing and grip the chipped white paint, clinging to it like an anchor as a storm of emotions rages inside me.

Lila’s words echo in my mind, slicing into my heart over and over. How dare she accuse me of being selfish, of not caring about our family? She has no idea the sacrifices I’ve made, the pain I’ve endured. Hot tears sting my eyes and I blink them back furiously. I had to leave. I had to get out of that house, away from Kyle and the control he has over my family. I wasn’t in the wrong, was I?

Drawing in a shuddering breath, I tilt my head back and gaze up at the night sky. Wisps of clouds drift across the crescent moon, partially obscuring the faint twinkle of stars. I feel so small, so insignificant under the vast expanse of the universe.

A sudden gust of wind whips my hair across my face and sends icy tendrils down the back of my neck. I hug myself tighter, wishing I had grabbed a coat on my way out. But I couldn’t bear to stay in that house a moment longer, suffocating under the weight of Lila’s judgment and disdain.

I left Shadow curled up on the living room rug, his soft brown eyes pleading with me not to go. Part of me aches to feel his warm fur pressed against my side, to bury my face in his neck and let his steady presence soothe my frayed nerves. But I need this moment alone, this space to breathe and gather the shattered pieces of myself.

The door creaks open behind me, startling me out of my reverie. I turn to see Kip stepping outside, his brow furrowed with concern. “Hey, what are you doing out here?” His warm voice cuts through the chill.

I shrug, trying to appear nonchalant even as my teeth chatter. “Just needed some air,” I mumble, wrapping my arms tighter around myself.

Kip’s eyes soften with understanding. He takes a step closer, and I catch a whiff of his familiar scent - a mixture of pine and something uniquely him. “It’s freezing out here, Ayla. You’re going to catch your death.”

I let out a humorless laugh. “Maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing.”

Kip’s eyes widen, and I instantly regret my words. I didn’t mean to sound so dramatic, so... broken. But the truth is, I feel like I’m barely holding myself together. The argument with Lila, the weight of my past, the uncertainty of my future - it all feels like too much to bear.

Kip reaches out and tentatively places a hand on my shoulder. His touch is gentle, almost hesitant, as if he’s afraid I might shatter beneath his fingertips. “Hey, don’t say that. You’re stronger than you know, Ayla and whatever is going on with you, right now, you’ll get through it.”

I close my eyes, letting his words wash over me. Part of me wants to believe him, wants to cling to the hope that he’s right. But another part of me - the part that’s been bruised and battered by life’s cruelties - can’t help but doubt. I’ve been let down so many times by the people I loved the most. I don’t know how much more pain I could handle.

I swallow hard, blinking back the tears that suddenly blur my vision. I want to throw myself into his arms, to let him hold me and tell me that everything will be okay. But I know I can’t. I know that I have to be strong, that I have to face my demons on my own.

So instead, I take a deep, shuddering breath and force a smile. “Thanks, Kip. I... I appreciate you coming out here to check on me.”

“I couldn’t help but overhear some of your conversation,” Kip admits gently, his voice softer than the whisper of the wind. “But you’re not a whore for living here, you know.”

My head snaps up, eyes widening in surprise as a mix of embarrassment and frustration washes over me. “You heard that?” I ask, my voice trembling slightly, betraying the vulnerability I’m trying so hard to hide.

Kip nods, his blue eyes filled with a compassion that threatens to undo me. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but your sister wasn’t exactly quiet.”

I let out a shaky laugh, the sound hollow even to my own ears. “Yeah, subtlety isn’t really Lila’s strong suit.”

“Ayla, listen to me,” Kip says, his tone firm but gentle. “You are not defined by your living situation or by what anyone else says about you. You are so much more than that. You’re healing our little family here, making Piper happier than I’ve ever seen her.”

“She was only with you a few days before I got here,” I point out.

“She’s still happier than ever.” He smiles, lightening my mood. “You’re doing good.”

His words wash over me, a balm to the raw, aching parts of my soul. I want to believe him, want to cling to the conviction in his voice, but the doubts still linger, like shadows I can’t quite shake.

“Am I, though?” I whisper, hating the way my voice cracks, exposing the cracks in my carefully constructed armor. “Sometimes I feel like I’m just stumbling through life, making one mess after another.”

Kip takes a step closer, his presence solid and reassuring. “We all stumble sometimes, Ayla. That’s just part of being human.”

I nod, blinking back the tears that threaten to fall. “I’m trying, Kip. I really am. But sometimes it feels like the whole world is against me, like I’m fighting a losing battle.”

“You’re not alone in this fight, Ayla,” Kip says, his hand reaching out to take mine, his fingers warm and strong as they intertwine with my own. “I’m here for you, and so are the others. We’ve got your back, no matter what.”

Kip’s eyes sparkle with mischief as he leans in closer. “Besides, I’m right next door to you. If you were a whore, I would know. I mean, I’ve tried to get in your pants multiple times.” He winks, a playful grin spreading across his face.

A laugh bubbles up from deep within me, the sound surprising even to my own ears. It’s a genuine, heartfelt laugh that seems to chase away the lingering hurt and frustration. The warmth of Kip’s humor and kindness spreads through me like a soothing balm, easing the sting of Lila’s harsh words.

“Well, I guess I should be flattered that you’ve been trying,” I tease back, feeling a lightness in my chest that I haven’t experienced in a long time. “Too bad for you, I’m not that easy.”

Kip clutches his heart dramatically, feigning a wounded expression. “Ouch, you’re breaking my heart here, Ayla. And here I thought we had something special.”

I roll my eyes, but I can’t stop the smile that tugs at the corners of my mouth. “In your dreams, Kip.”

“Every night,” he quips, his blue eyes twinkling with amusement.

As we stand there, trading playful banter, I feel the weight of my sister’s words slowly lifting from my shoulders. The hurt is still there, a dull ache in my chest, but it’s overshadowed by the warmth and comfort of Kip’s presence.

I realize that this is what I needed—not just the fresh air and solitude, but the reminder that I have people in my life who care about me, who see me for who I am, not the labels others try to pin on me.

Kip’s expression softens, his eyes searching mine. “You know, Ayla, we might not be related by blood, but I consider you family. And from what I can tell, your other family sounds pretty dysfunctional.”

I sigh, wrapping my arms around myself. “That’s an understatement.”

He reaches out, gently squeezing my shoulder. “But that’s on them, not you. You’re one of the strongest, most caring people I know. The way you take care of Piper, the way you’ve stepped up for this family—that says everything about who you are.”

His words wash over me, soothing the raw edges of my heart. I’ve spent so long doubting myself, questioning my worth, that hearing someone else acknowledge my strengths feels like a balm to my battered soul.

“You’re smart, funny, and you’ve got a heart of gold,” Kip continues, his voice low and sincere. “Don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re less than that.”

I find myself lost in the depths of Kip’s gaze, a kaleidoscope of blue that seems to hold a universe of emotions. Comfort and understanding, affection and longing—they swirl together, drawing me in like a moth to a flame.

For a moment, the world falls away, and it’s just the two of us, suspended in this fragile bubble of intimacy. My heart races, my skin tingles, and I’m acutely aware of every point of contact between us—the warmth of his hand on my shoulder, the brush of his leg against mine.

In a moment of spontaneity, I lean in, closing the distance between us. My lips find his, soft and tentative at first, a whisper of a kiss that sends shivers down my spine. Kip’s hand finds my cheek, cradling my face as the kiss deepens, and I melt into his touch, into the warmth of his lips against mine.

It’s a kiss that ignites a fire inside me, a blaze that consumes the cold and the hurt and the doubt. Kip’s mouth moves against mine with a tenderness that takes my breath away, a gentleness that belies the passion simmering beneath the surface.

I thread my fingers through his hair, pulling him closer, and he responds in kind, his arm snaking around my waist, drawing me flush against him. The kiss becomes more urgent, more demanding, and I lose myself in the sensation of his body against mine, in the taste of him on my tongue.

Despite the chill in the air, I feel enveloped in warmth, as if Kip’s touch is the only thing keeping me grounded, the only thing tethering me to this moment. His hands roam my back, my sides, leaving trails of fire in their wake, and I arch into him, craving more of his touch, more of this connection that seems to eclipse everything else.

It’s a kiss that feels like coming home, like finding a piece of myself I didn’t know was missing.

When we finally break apart, I’m breathless and flushed, my heart racing in my chest. Kip’s eyes are dark with desire, his lips slightly swollen from our kisses. He leans his forehead against mine, his breath mingling with my own as we both struggle to catch our breath.

“That was...” he murmurs, his voice low and rough.

“Yeah,” I whisper back, unable to find the words to describe the intensity of what just passed between us.

I glance toward the door, a shiver that has nothing to do with the cold running through me. As much as I want to stay out here, wrapped in Kip’s arms, I know we can’t stay out here forever.

“We should go inside,” I suggest, my voice slightly breathy, betraying the desire still thrumming through my veins.

Kip’s warm hand grasps mine as he leads me back inside, the contrast between the chilly night air and the inviting warmth of the house making me shiver. The door closes behind us with a soft click, and suddenly, the atmosphere shifts, thick with anticipation and unspoken desires. My heart pounds against my ribcage, a staccato rhythm that echoes the pulsing need coursing through my veins.

In the dim light of the entryway, Kip turns to face me, his blue eyes dark with longing. Without a word, he pulls me close, his strong arms encircling my waist as our lips meet in a fervent kiss. It’s different from the tender, comforting kiss we shared outside—this one is hungry, urgent, filled with a passion that steals my breath away.

My fingers thread through his sandy hair, tugging him closer as I lose myself in the sensations. Kip’s hands roam my back, slipping beneath the jacket he lent me, his touch leaving trails of fire in their wake. I arch into him, craving more, needing to feel his skin against mine.

We stumble down the hall, our movements clumsy and desperate as we refuse to break the kiss. My mind is hazy, consumed by the feel of Kip’s body pressed against mine, by the way he makes me feel alive and desired in a way I’ve never experienced before.

As we navigate the dimly lit corridor, Kip’s lips leave mine to blaze a path along my jaw, down the column of my throat. I gasp, my head falling back as I surrender to the pleasure of his touch.

“Ayla,” he murmurs against my skin, his voice rough with want. “You have no idea how much I’ve wanted this, wanted you.”

His words send a thrill through me, igniting a fire in my core. I tug at his shirt, needing to feel more of him, to explore the contours of his body with my hands and my mouth.

We reach the bedroom door, and Kip presses me against it, his hips pinning me in place as his hands explore my curves. I’m lost in a haze of sensation, consumed by the heat building between us, by the desperate need to be closer, to feel everything he has to offer.

With a groan, Kip reaches for the doorknob, and we stumble into the bedroom, ready to let the passion consume us entirely.

The door closes behind us with a soft click, sealing us in our own private world of tangled limbs and whispered desires. We tumble onto the bed, hands roaming, mouths hungry for each other’s taste.

Kip’s fingers skim the hem of my shirt, his touch sending shivers across my skin. “Can I?” he asks, his gaze meeting mine, seeking permission.

I nod, breathless, and he tugs the fabric over my head, tossing it aside. His eyes darken as they rake over my exposed skin, and he leans down to press a trail of kisses along my collarbone.

I arch into his touch, my fingers threading through his hair, urging him closer. The heat between us grows, a palpable force that consumes every thought, every sensation.

Just as Kip’s hands reach for the clasp of my bra, a sound pierces through the haze of desire—Piper’s cries, coming from down the hall.

We freeze, our eyes locking, chests heaving. Reality crashes back in, shattering the moment.

“I...” I swallow hard, torn between the ache of unfulfilled longing and the tug of responsibility. “I need to go to her.”

Kip nods, understanding etched in his features. He rolls off me, giving me space to rise from the bed.

With shaking hands, I retrieve my shirt and slip it back on, my skin still tingling from his touch. I glance back at Kip, taking in his tousled hair and kiss-swollen lips, the sight sending a fresh wave of want coursing through me.

Piper’s cries grow louder, more insistent, and I force myself to turn away. Duty calls, no matter how much I long to stay, to lose myself in Kip’s embrace.

As I step into the hallway, I can feel Kip’s gaze on me, a promise of what could be, of the passion left unfinished.

With a deep breath, I push aside my own desires and head towards Piper’s room, ready to be the caretaker, the nurturer, the one who puts others’ needs before her own…that’s always been my role.