Chapter 37Emir

Chapter 37 Emir

I’d taken the high road, and I had to stay on it. The last thing I wanted to leave Janie with was the memory of me acting up.

Still, the idea of Len the pastor riding to her rescue made my stomach turn. Spotting his car in the driveway, Janie dragged me outside to meet him. “It’s best that he sees you straight away, I think.”

“You mean, it’s best to keep our meeting outside, away from the party guests?”

She cocked her head, looking a little conflicted. “That, too.”

Gru shot through the open door, ready to greet Len with drooling excitement. I couldn’t match that, but I’d do my best.

Len wore one of those black shirts with a white collar and smiled like a poster boy for religion.

“Thank you so much for making time for us!” Janie’s smile beamed, full of her sunshiny goodness as she shook his hand.

They locked eyes for a moment like two goofy idiots. I swallowed a dozen things I wanted to say, standing strategically behind Janie. When I stepped into his line of sight, his toothy smile withered.

“I’m sorry, I seem to have forgotten your name.” He offered his hand, slowly and cautiously.

“Emir,” I bit out.

I couldn’t resist a brief death stare. Just a little warning.

Janie nudged closer. “Emir is the best man. His brother is the one getting married to my friend Aria. Let’s get you introduced.”

She tried to lead Len towards the door, but he dug his heels in, eyes still on me. “So, it’s your brother’s wedding? Is that why you’re working on the farm, to prepare for the party?”

“Yes,” I said.

“That’s nice of you,” Len said rather neutrally.

I nodded.

Janie pointed at Len’s collar. “Um… we haven’t announced the change of plans to the party guests yet. Until we do, could we hide that… thing,” She cast him a pleading smile.

“It’s called a clerical collar,” Len removed the white strip from around his neck, smiling.

He looked so smitten, his eyes lingering on Janie’s face, that I had to take deep breaths. No matter how much this bothered me, I couldn’t punch a pastor at my brother’s wedding.

I followed a few steps behind as Len entered the house, smiling and shaking hands. Janie introduced him as a friend, discreetly leading the pastor, Cem and Aria down the hallways, presumably to plan their impromptu wedding.

I fetched my camera and took some pictures of the final party preparations. It felt good to hold something in my hands as a buffer.

After a while, Cem and Aria joined the others in the living room. The sound of engines alerted us to more guests arriving and Kerim began pouring champagne into flutes. Len must have been hiding somewhere, which I didn’t mind, but Janie had also disappeared. Was she with him? I couldn’t stomach the thought, so I focused on taking photos.

I could speak English, yet I felt like they were all communicating in a language I didn’t understand—small talk with polite smiles, quick jokes, and compliments. So perfectly pleasant and smooth. Well, until someone asked me something and I brought the cheery conversation to a grinding halt.

Had I embarrassed Janie? I’d held my tongue, but I couldn’t do the smiles and platitudes that put people at ease. Not that I particularly wanted to put Len at ease. I only wanted to meet Janie’s expectations. And she was in another league.

This was why I’d been single most of my life. I despised dating apps, and meeting someone the old-fashioned way required that smoothness.

Hande had picked me. I’d been standing in the corner, just like this, fiddling with my camera. I always had an excuse— Cem was there and photos were expected. She’d asked to see the photos, and I’d shown her. The way she’d lingered over pictures of my brother should have triggered warning bells. But she’d showered me with interest and eventually dragged me away from the party. Of course, I’d fallen for her. She’d been so determined to be with me, she’d convinced us both that my antisocial behavior was nothing but mysterious and sexy. I’d bought all her lies, desperate to be noticed, for once.

“This way, please!” Aria’s mom guided the guests to the deck. “Bring your drinks.”

I followed the meandering guests, admiring the beautiful setup through my lens. And that’s when I noticed Janie. She stood on the deck, talking to my parents, somehow making them smile as she seated them and others around the tables. Once all the tables were filled, she led Aria and Cem into the doorway, facing the dozen expectant pairs of eyes. “We have an announcement!”

The general hubbub quieted as everyone turned to look. Janie gestured at Cem, who filled his lungs, smiling like his life depended on it. “Surprise! Thanks to our host Janie’s wonderful help, we’ve been able to find a pastor and can turn this engagement party into a wedding!”

Janie glanced back at the house and raised her hand, summoning Len. He smiled and waved, probably hoping for someone to cheer. There was only silence. Eventually, we all turned to face our parents, holding our breaths. I edged closer, ready to translate if they’d missed the message. But judging by the tears in Mom’s eyes, she hadn’t. She looked at Dad, then Cem and Aria and finally me.

“This is not the only wedding, though, from what I hear,” Janie prompted Cem.

“No! We will have a wedding in Istanbul later. A proper one. This is just for our New Zealand family. When I asked Aria to marry me, I meant it. I don’t want a long engagement…” he cast a pleading look at Mom. “Particularly as we’re having a baby.”

The shock that travelled through the small crowd on that deck could have powered a small generator. Mom’s hand flew to her mouth as she yelped out loud. She gestured for Aria to come closer. Stiff as a board, Aria crossed the wooden floor and stood in front of her. Mom took her hands and held them for a moment. I couldn’t hear what she whispered, but from the look on her face, I could tell everything had changed. She offered her hand and Aria greeted her the Turkish way, tears in her eyes.

I caught Cem’s eyes as he blew a breath and wiped a hand across his forehead. He’d made the call to drop the news. He was the gambler of the family, one who could think on his feet and somehow land on them. I loved my brother, but sometimes I envied him, along with the rest of the world. Part of me wanted to be like him, to grab this opportunity with both hands and hang on. But it wasn’t me.

As Aria moved over to her own parents, both wearing rather stunned smiles, Janie stepped up to address the rest of us. She explained how the afternoon was going to go—much like they’d planned the engagement party, only with the brief wedding ceremony at the start. She spoke eloquently, taking over the space with humor and heart. I could see the star quality, but I loved that I didn’t know her as a New Zealander. I didn’t associate her voice with the 6 a.m. news. I only knew her as Janie. My Janie.

She caught me staring at her and a smiled bloomed on her face. Sunlight filtered through the vines, giving her purple dress a wild pattern. My hands rose, as if on autopilot, and I snapped a photo. It was the last one I got.

The rest of the day was a blur of wedding activities, drinks, food, group photos and painful small talk. At some point, I had to put my camera aside and become a full-time translator for my father who wanted to discuss child-rearing, education, and opportunities in New Zealand with Aria’s dad. More specifically, he wanted to make it clear the child would never be okay on a remote island like this, with no proud Ottoman history of learning and innovation. I did my best to soften his words, but poor Greg could probably tell the true meaning from his passionate frown.

Cem settled in between our mom and Aria’s mother, for what seemed like a friendlier conversation. This was my lot— dealing with Dad and his rants, saving my brother’s ass. This time, I could tell he appreciated it, glancing over every time Dad raised his voice, casting me a grateful look.

The sun set and the strange wedding party fizzled out. Sober drives were organized for the vehicles outside and our parents retreated to their guest room.

With the catering packed away and the happy couple hiding somewhere, Janie found me on the deck, stripping tablecloths off the tables. For a moment, there was nobody else around.

She began unfastening another tablecloth, keeping her voice low. “What time are you leaving tomorrow?”

“Dad made me order a taxi for seven a.m. He’s worried about making the flight.”

Her eyes widened. “That’s early.”

“I know.”

“I’m exhausted. I’ll have to set three alarms to wake up before you go. Make breakfast.”

“There are plenty of leftovers.” I gestured at the doorway leading to the kitchen.

“But I want to see you, for the last time.”

“I’ll be with my parents. I can’t even touch you... Not unless you want to tell them—”

“No. Not today.” She bit her lip, eyes watery. “Maybe we should say goodbye now. I don’t want your last image of me to be one with puffy morning eyes and no makeup.”

I shook my head. “You’re always gorgeous. But if this is the last time we can talk in private, maybe we need to say goodbye now.”

She huffed. “I hate goodbyes.”

“It’s not a goodbye forever. Only for a while.”

“You don’t know. We live worlds apart and life on this side of forty is not that kind.”

“It was kind enough to bring us together,” I tried.

How was I the optimistic one? I’d been angry at life for so long, and now these thoughts were popping up without warning. Thoughts of hope, spurred by pain-free moments. “This is a good thing, Janie. Love is always a good thing.”

She dropped the rolled-up tablecloth on the table and glanced over her shoulder. There was nobody around. Blinking her tears away, she crashed into my chest, wrapping her arms around me. I hugged her tightly, inhaling her scent like a drug. It’s just a hug, I told myself. But I knew that if anyone saw us, we’d be exposed.

“We’ll see each other again, Janie. We’ll find a way.”

She cried almost silently. Broke my heart without a sound, and I held her for as long as I could, until a noise from the kitchen gave us both a start. Within seconds, she was gone.