Chapter 36Janie

Chapter 36 Janie

“The sky is clear!” I yelled, stepping back inside my house.

“Yay!” Aria waved from behind the dining table she was setting up for catering.

It was the day of the party. After a sleepless night, curled up with the man my whole being craved, I was running on caffeine, fake smiles, and affirmations. I couldn’t be miserable. Today was about celebration. It was about keeping myself busy and focused on other people.

It’d be the perfect way to part ways, I told myself. A day full of smiles and laughter and flower arrangements. My house had transformed into a buzzing center of romance and happiness. For other people.

The usual number of people in my house had already more than doubled. Kerim and his wife had taken over my kitchen, heating and prepping food items they’d brought. Cem and Emir were setting up tables on the deck while their parents sat in the shade, sipping tea. I was glad Josh was away at his friend’s house for another day. He would have struggled with this many strangers.

Aria’s mom Lyn appeared from Alex’s bedroom that had been recently declared the staging area, holding two odd-looking, pink signs with white arrows painted on them. Bright yellow balloons hung off the side. “These should catch the eye, don’t you think? I repurposed these old trays I found in the op shop!”

“Yeah, I think those stand out well.”

I saw Aria’s face momentarily fall before she pasted on a smile. “Thanks, Mom.”

Lyn beamed. “Greg went to find some timber to make the signposts. These will last for years. We can use the same signs for the wedding!”

Aria’s eyes widened and I gave her a subtle head shake.

“I’ll see where Greg’s at,” Lyn said, hurrying out the door.

I grabbed one of the napkins Aria was folding to help her out. “Don’t worry. The signs will be irreversibly damaged during the festivities, possibly by a runaway horse, and won’t be available for your wedding.”

Aria sighed. “I’d be eternally grateful! I don’t know where she finds these things.”

“She’s just trying to be helpful.”

“How’re you feeling?” She asked, leaning in. “Is he really leaving tomorrow?” Her gaze swept to the deck where Emir was scooting under my outdoor table, holding a wrench. There’d be no wobbly legs in the house after his exit, other than mine.

“He says he has to go. And I have to let him go.”

Aria’s eyes flooded with despair. “Can’t you… follow him?”

“Not with Josh moving back home.”

“Why does he have to go? It’s not like his parents are all alone. Cem and I will be there! And…” Her expression shifted and she glanced around her to see if anyone was listening.

“What?” I whispered, seeing Kerim right behind me.

Aria clamped her lips together. Maybe there were too many people around for whatever she wanted to say.

I’d have a full house tonight. Aria, Cem, Emir and their parents were staying overnight, to make sure nobody had to drive. We’d set up the guest room for Emir’s parents, Josh’s room for Emir and Alex’s room for Aria and Cem. My house was also closer to the airport, which made it handy for Emir’s parents. And Emir, I thought with a pang. Their flight was tomorrow, but I couldn’t allow myself to dwell on that.

“What time is it? I think I need to get changed!” Aria finished the napkins, looking at the clock on the wall.

“Do you need help?” I followed her into Alex’s bedroom, where a questionable inflatable mattress awaited her and Cem.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” I asked. “It tends to deflate a bit overnight.”

“Oh, it’s for the best. I think Cem’s parents are a bit uncomfortable with us sleeping in the same room. It’s best if it looks like camping and not like… you know, enjoyable.”

My skin sizzled with discomfort. “But they know you sleep together at your place, right? You travelled together and stayed together for the premiere.”

Aria bit her lip. “Yeah. It’s a bit weird. I think they just like to pretend we’re waiting until we’re married. Mostly for the sake of their more conservative family members. And me, of course. It’d ruin my reputation. It’s easier since we’re here, with no other relatives around.” She rolled her eyes.

What would they say if they knew their eldest son was sleeping with the hostess, I wondered. Not that we’d do that again in a very long time, if ever.

“Any chance they sleep very soundly with earplugs?”

“Apparently his father sleepwalks. Usually to the fridge. But I’m not sure where he’ll end up in here since he doesn’t know the layout of the house. With Mom and Dad, he kept walking to the laundry.”

I groaned. It was going to be an interesting night.

I helped Aria change into her shimmery, teal dress with an open back.

“So gorgeous!” I exhaled as she did a spin for me. “It’s like a wedding dress, just not white.”

Her eyes shone. “I kind of wish this was our wedding. I know Cem keeps asking and I keep telling him no, but how amazing would it be if we just got married? No waiting, no more party planning. Just us together forever. We already have the marriage license.”

My chin wobbled and I steadied it with a smile. “Well, just say the word and I’ll call Len.”

“Who’s Len?”

“A lovely local pastor I went out with, until Emir scared him away.”

Aria burst into laughter. “Scared him, how?”

I told her the story of my ill-fated date and Emir’s behavior.

“Oh my God. He followed you and ruined your date? That’s…”

“Insanely jealous? Yeah.”

Aria’s face softened. “But also… he must be crazy about you.”

I shrugged, fiddling with the fabric of Aria’s dress. I couldn’t let my thoughts go down that route. Not now. I’d made a promise to myself to make it through the party without crying.

“You think that pastor would show up to marry Emir’s brother? I mean, no one’s that nice.”

She had a point, but the optimist in me lifted its stupidly resilient head. “I’m willing to ask.”

That was one thing I could do for my friend. Asking hard questions of people who’d rather not talk to me was just another day for a journalist.

“What do you think Cem would say? I should talk to him first.” Something about the way her eyes darted around the room, teeth working on a freshly painted fingernail, gave me pause.

“Are you serious? What about his parents?”

Aria’s mouth twisted, a look of harried panic rising into her eyes. “Cem’s parents would probably be relieved, since I’m pregnant and they’ll find out soon enough.”

We stared at each other in stunned silence.

“You’ve told Cem, right?”

She shook her head very slowly, eyes wide. “I just found out and it didn’t seem like the best timing. I haven’t really processed this. I keep forgetting about it and then it hits me again.”

“How do you forget something like that?”

Aria drew a breath, one hand resting on her chest, the other on her stomach. “By actively blocking it out because it’s too huge and the timing is so terrible. I mean… if I tell him, he’s going to freak out and we’ll have to cancel the party or something. It’ll be a nightmare.”

I frowned. “You’re not giving him enough credit. He loves you. He wants to marry you.”

“I don’t know. He’s still a celebrity. He’s the baby of his family… the way his mom feeds him. Did you see them out there on the deck? She was popping little cakes straight into his mouth. Can you imagine him a dad? It’s crazy!”

“If you don’t think he’s parent material, why would you marry him in the first place?”

Aria buried her face in her hands and sobbed. “I don’t know what I’m saying! I’m freaking out.”

“You two need to talk. Stay here, I’ll get him.”

“No! I can’t. I haven’t even found the words to explain it to myself. I feel like it’s all my fault.”

“Why? It takes two.”

“But we found these old condoms…”

I grabbed her shoulders, searching for eye contact. “Breathe, Aria. It’ll be fine. I know it’s not the plan, but life will throw stuff at you, good and bad, and you just have to keep swimming. That’s how it works. And this is good stuff, I promise.”

She nodded, her whole body shaking.

“Wait here.” My stomach in knots, I snuck out, heading straight to the deck. The outdoor area looked ready for the party. The turquoise and white garlands hung over three long tables, mixing with the green vines. The white tablecloths, secured with clamps, flapped in the gentle breeze. I found Cem and Emir sitting on the edge of the deck, each holding a bottle of beer. Gru slept on Emir’s lap, snoring loudly. I wanted to trade places with the dog.

I glanced around. “Where’s everyone else?”

“They went to get changed. I’ll go after I finish this.” Emir lifted his beer bottle.

He wore his usual dress pants and charcoal collar shirt with a subtle sheen.

I raised my brow. “What are you changing into, a tux?”

We’d talked about keeping things casual, but I wondered what exactly qualified as casual for my Turkish guests. I’d been in my pale purple dress since breakfast and was only planning to add some lipstick and hairspray before the guests—a few of Aria’s actor friends, her uncle, cousins and Pete arrived.

Emir gave me the briefest of smiles. “Just changing into a fresh shirt. It’s quite warm so I’m happy if we don’t need jackets.”

He gave me a questioning look, one I held for needlessly long before I dumbly repeated, “No jackets.”

This is why I’d been avoiding him for hours. Simply looking into his eyes scattered my thoughts, filling my chest with longing and pain.

And now I was holding onto Aria’s news, my mind playing the mental chess game of cause and effect. What did this mean? How would their parents take it? Where would they live? And most importantly, how did this impact my relationship with Emir?

“Cem, can you come inside for minute?” I tried to keep my voice neutral, but both men swiveled around. Emir frowned.

“What is it?” Cem asked.

“Aria needs help with something.”

“Something?” They repeated in unison.

“It’s a surprise.” I tried to smile.

Cem got up, followed by Emir, who trailed us inside. I stopped him in the living room. “We just need Cem for this, sorry.” My hand lingered on his chest and he leaned forward, enough to seal the connection.

His eyes burned with unsaid words, but I didn’t let myself focus on them.

“I’ll tell you later,” I whispered, rushing Cem down the hallway.

I considered just shoving the movie star into my son’s bedroom, but when I caught Aria’s panicked expression, I decided to escort him all the way in.

“Wow,” Cem said, looking at Aria’s dress. “Am I supposed to see you before—”

“It’s not a wedding, Cem.”

“Fine. Okay. What’s wrong?”

“I… I…” Aria gaped at me, her eyes begging for help.

“She’s pregnant,” I said. “And if you want to turn this thing into a wedding, I’ll contact Len to see if he’s free.”

I’d never seen Cem’s face quite like that. He whipped his head to stare at me, then back at Aria. “ Allah, Allah! You serious?”

Aria nodded. “I think so. I’ve been testing all week, and I got a positive this morning.”

“You’ve been testing, and you didn’t tell me?”

Aria nibbled at her thumbnail, looking up with a pained expression. “I thought if it’s false alarm I’d just freak you out for no reason.”

Cem rescued the nail from his fiancée’s mouth and secured her hands in his. “You should have told me.”

She hung her head. “Yeah, I know. I’m sorry. But the timing is awful.”

“It doesn’t matter. It’s our baby. We’ll just have to… get ready.”

His voice was soft and tender. I backed through the doorway, still holding my breath but also relieved by his reaction. When I was about to slip away, Cem turned around. “What did you say about the wedding?”

“She can call someone to marry us if we want to turn this into a wedding,” Aria said.

I had a big mouth. A big, big mouth.

‘Do it!” Cem’s voice was bright and decisive. He turned back to Aria. “Please? We can have another wedding back home. I mean, Istanbul. But doing it right here, under the radar, it’s so perfect.”

Aria’s eyes filled with tears. “What about your parents? Are we going to give them heart attacks, for real?”

Cem shrugged. “It might not be that bad. Whatever we do here won’t be a proper wedding for my mom. But if she gets to throw another one back home, she’d be happy. And she loves babies!”

“We can’t tell her yet, it’s too early. Right?” She turned to me for confirmation, eyes wide with terror.

I adopted my most impartial news anchor tone. “Some people wait to share the news since the risk of miscarriage is higher in the beginning. But it’s up to you.”

“So, if you wouldn’t tell them about a miscarriage, don’t tell them about the pregnancy?” Aria gestured with her hands while Cem stared at her with gooey-eyed devotion.

“I don’t think there’s a hard and fast rule.”

“What do you think?” Aria asked Cem. “Should we just play it by ear? If they freak out about the wedding plan, we distract them with the baby news? Like having extra lighter fluid in case of a fire.” Her smile was a little manic.

“Sounds good to me.” Cem smirked.

They turned to me. Two expectant faces. Four glistening eyes.

“I’ll… make the call. It may not work out, but I’ll try.”

My heart hammering somewhere in my throat, I fetched my phone from the busy and scent-filled kitchen, and rushed down the hall to my bedroom.

I heard footsteps behind me. Emir. He glanced over his shoulder at the empty hallway. Satisfied that no one had seen us, he followed me into the bedroom and closed the door, leaning on it. “What’s going on?”

I contemplated for a fraction of a second whether to tell him. He’d hear it sooner or later, I decided. And I had questions.

“Aria is pregnant, and they want to turn this into a wedding.”

“What?”

“And… I promised to call Len. Remember the guy I went out with.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t know any other ministers within a driving distance. Pastor… minister? I’m not even sure what he is, but anyway.”

Emir’s expression darkened.

“And I need you to behave,” I added. “You can start by apologizing to him.”

“The fuck I will.”

“Care to rephrase that?” I took a step closer.

My tall, dark and terrifying man. I smiled, despite myself, my heart fluttering at the thought of these final, stolen moments. I’d told myself to let him go. I’d made the decision. But it seemed my body was not going to obey.

I stepped close enough to catch his scent, my fingers curling against the crisp, white shirt he’d changed into. I gently tucked at his black tie and whispered, “I know you’ll behave. You’d never ruin your brother’s wedding.”

A sound rose from his throat, like a heavy exhale that turned into a low growl. “But you have to stop torturing me. Seeing you out there, not being able to touch you or even talk to you… I tried to catch your eye out there and you act like you don’t even see me.”

I stared down at my purple heels. “If I look at you, I’ll lose it and ruin the party for everyone. Your parents will find out about us. I can’t hide it.”

“What if they do? I want to tell—”

“No, you don’t! We’re not going to steal their thunder.” I lay my head against his shirt, careful to let my hair fall between us so I didn’t smear his shirt with my makeup.

We were in hiding. What we had was too flammable to be displayed in public. It felt bittersweet to hide the one thing that mattered most, in my own home.

“This doesn’t feel like the end,” I whispered. Wayward hairs stuck between my lips, and I peeled them off with my fingers.

Emir wrapped his palm around my wrist. “It’s not. I’ll come back; you’ll see.”

I knew he was looking at my bed and my body betrayed me, rushing heat between my thighs, but we couldn’t risk it. And I had to make the phone call.

“I have to call Len.” I pulled out my phone and took a step back.

“Do you want me to go? I should go.” Emir didn’t move.

“Stay there,” I told him.

This was already incredibly awkward. Having him next to me didn’t change that, but at least I could spend a moment longer with him and show him I wasn’t interested in dating the pastor. That he’d invaded my life and all my thoughts. He deserved to know it.

Len answered with a tentative “Hi, Janie?” I put him on speaker phone.

“Hi, Len! I’m so sorry I haven’t been in touch. Thank you for the lovely dinner the other night. I’m sorry how things ended. I know this is long overdue, but I wanted to call and apologize.”

There was a pause, then a soft chuckle. “It’s okay. It was an interesting night. How are you?”

“I’m okay, thank you. Listen… Are you busy this afternoon?”

His voice brightened. “No. I mean, I can rearrange my schedule.”

I stiffened. Was he hoping for another date?

“That would be amazing, because a friend of mine is pregnant and wants to turn her engagement party into a wedding. All we need is a minister. A pastor. I’m sorry, I’m not sure about the terminology.”

“All pastors are ministers. Not all ministers are pastors. What time? I do have a few things lined up…” The excitement vanished from his voice, and I pulled a face, glancing at Emir, whose knowing look carried a hint of smugness.

“We’re flexible! It would be amazing.”

“And do they have a marriage license? That can take about three days to get and without—”

“Yes, they do!”

The line went quiet, and we exchanged another look with Emir.

“I would normally meet with the couple beforehand, get to know them…”

“We can arrange that! This is a very small, casual affair at my house.”

“At your house?”

“Yes, I’m hosting it. So, what do you think?”

After another long pause, Len spoke. “Okay. I can make it there at around four. Would that work?”

“Wonderful! I’ll text you the address.”

We ended the call with some more thankyous, and I turned to Emir. “I can’t believe he said yes!”

His eyes were hard. “He gets to see you and check out your house. And you’ll owe him, which he’ll use to get a second date.”

I hadn’t even thought of that. “Oh, my God. You’re right. And I can’t tell him we’re an item since we’re trying to hide it from the parents. Unless we tell him in confidence?”

“Tell him what?” He gave me a long, sad look and my lungs deflated.

I looked up at the ceiling, thinking. “What if we don’t tell him you’re leaving? He doesn’t need to know.”

“Tell him whatever you feel like, Janie. You know how I feel about this, but don’t let that worry you.”

Tears welled in my chest again, dangerously close to the surface. “I hate this too, but we must keep quiet. For Cem and Aria.”

“For Cem and Aria.” He gave me a solemn nod.

We snuck out of the bedroom, one by one, to join the party preparations.

Great. I’d have my awkward first date and current lover under the same roof. All I need was my ex-husband, and I could start selling tickets to a Greek tragedy.