Chapter 16

Helga

"How did you know to bring me clothing? I mean when you left the base. Fox said you all left in such a hurry he didn't even remember a translator," I ask Anna as I emerge from the bathroom dressed in a white t-shirt and jeans. I assume it's her clothing as the jeans are tight for me and barely fit. "Do you often rescue women from that place, what was it called? Galen?"

"Gala. It's the most famous slave market in the galaxy. And unfortunately, yes. We do save quite a few women from there. I assumed if you had any clothing left, it'd be soiled." She looks at my overhang on her jeans. "I have a dress, if you'd rather?" Anna shows me a casual dress. It looks smaller and tighter than the jeans.

"No this is better," I reply. Then she gives me some socks and clogs. "So Swedish, the wooden clogs."

"I had no idea what your shoe size would be, clogs are the most forgiving on size, and we were in a hurry to get going."

"Fox said you weren't a part of the crew…"

"No, I'm not. I wanted to come as we had a greater chance of rescuing you with a woman in the group."

This doesn't make any sense to me. "Really?"

"Yes. The galaxy is a matriarchy. An Alliance woman, a grey-skinned woman as you saw me, would never leave her planet unless it was very important. Women rule the galaxy from their homes, and the men do their bidding, more or less."

"Why don't the men just revolt when they're out in the galaxy alone with all these ships and weapons?"

"To what end?" Anna asks. "They've been raised in matriarchies, and it wouldn't occur to them to do that because their lives are reasonably good under women's rule. Most of them don't even identify that they are in a matriarchy it's so ingrained."

"I see, but then why were we running on the way out? What was that all about?"

"Fox has stepped on a lot of people's toes as the commander of Alliance Force. He made himself vulnerable by coming to Gala himself. But he didn't trust anyone else to get you back."

"He's even more noble than I first thought," I say. We're speaking English, and I can't find the best words to articulate my thoughts. "Noble makes it sound like he's a knight of the round table." I smile at myself. "But you know what I mean."

"I do," Anna says kindly. "You should get a translator so you and Fox can speak more easily. They have the technology to embed it into you on this ship."

"Do you have one?"

"I wanted to learn their language myself, but a lot of the other human women married to officers have them."

"How long did it take you to learn their language?"

"About two years to get to about C level. It's a large language with infinite vocabulary structures, not unlike German. So words can be long and grammar structures complex."

"I don't know how long Fox and I'll be together. We just met a week ago and now, with this," I motion to everything around me, "I don't know."

"I understand," Anna says, and I'm relieved she's not pushing me for more information about my feelings. I love Fox, but I want to keep that to myself. I've never been one to kiss and tell or even fall in love and tell, except for with Ella, but she's my best friend, so that's different.

"Did you meet your husband at Oktoberfest too?"

Anna smiles. "No, Lev was undercover as an anthropologist posing as an academic at the university I was working at in Stockholm."

"But he still speaks Swedish."

"He learned it. Fox took a virus for German." I must have frowned because then she follows up with, "It's not really an illness in the sense of how we think of a virus. We just don't have a word for it because it hasn't been invented yet on Earth. I could tell you the Alliance word, but it would mean nothing to you."

"I understand. How did you find out Lev was an alien?"

"He tried to implicitly tell me by sending me articles about alien abduction, but I didn't get the hint. Then he finally told me when his assignment was coming to an end. I didn't believe him at first. He had to show me his true skin color before I'd take him seriously."

"Were you as surprised as I was?"

It's Anna's turn to be taken aback. "I thought you were quite calm about the whole thing. I was less so. I actually freaked out and left Lev. I didn't know if I was going to see him again, and we'd been seeing each other for over a year."

My expression must have revealed my insecurities about just accepting Fox so easily when I learned the truth. What kind of fool am I? Do I really always choose the bad guys?

"No, don't feel bad. It's not like that. From my husband's mistakes, we were able to guide Fox to present himself correctly to you, and judging by what happened, it worked. We're both anthropologists you see, so it's our job to help the Alliance Force officers integrate with humanity."

Hearing this makes me feel better. "Thanks for explaining that. I have a reputation for finding hard luck cases for boyfriends," I admit. "I'm glad to hear that Fox was trained by professionals."

"I can assure you, Fox is anything but a hard luck case."

I change the subject back to her husband. "What changed your mind?"

"He shared his official record with me with some other Alliance documents to prove to me he was telling the truth. But Fox's honesty isn't the problem, is it?

"I like Fox a lot, but we met during Oktoberfest when he was on holiday and I feel like I don't know anything about his life besides his hobbies."

"He has hobbies?" Anna asks sarcastically. Then she continues, "Fox spends almost every waking hour working for Alliance Force, protecting humans from aliens who would abduct us. If he's shared his private feelings and thoughts with you, then you're one of the few people in the galaxy who actually knows the man and not just the commander."

This information makes me feel exceptional. "Yes, he has hobbies and interests beyond work. In all our conversations, he rarely talked about work except to say it's busy." I pause to think about some of the less personal information I can give her which would be obvious anyway. "He's got a keen interest in Delft pottery."

"Puzzle jugs?"

"Yes, he mentioned those and tulip vases."

Anna jumps on that. "Ah ha. Now it all makes sense. We are trying to build a greenhouse on the base, and he asked if tulips could be grown."

"What does he actually do?"

"He's the commander of a large base whose impossible task it is to defend Earth without humans knowing. It's difficult, not well-paid, but very well respected in the Empire, which, ironically, is a place none of the officers in the Alliance Force will ever live again. Their mission is a generational one."

"Where do you all live then? Secretly on Earth?"

"No. That's not strategic enough. The dark side of the moon."

I look into Anna's blue eyes. I keep waiting for her to crack a smile, but she doesn't. Finally, I laugh nervously. "No really. Where do you live?"

"The dark side of the moon. I know. I didn't believe it at first either, but it's true. You'll see."

"How is it to live there in darkness? Do you ever return to Earth?"

"You'd be surprised at how comfortable it is. The base has everything. We also have holiday time that can be spent on Earth, and I'm able to get there if there's an emergency with one of my daughters or something."

"How do they contact you?"

"Our phones work there with a special connection."

"Do they know where you are?"

"My daughters do, but they are sworn to secrecy. Everyone else thinks I'm living in South America in the rainforest with Lev, doing cultural anthropological work with theYanomami."

"Oh. That's convenient. I don't think I could come up with a plausible story. But it doesn't matter. Fox hasn't mentioned staying or anything to me." I can see Anna is holding back an opinion. "Just tell me what you're thinking. I'd rather have your view on the situation than make my own assumptions in ignorance."

"There's no question in my mind that Fox wants to marry you. So if I were to offer some unsolicited advice, I'd say start thinking as if he's already asked."

This warms my heart but not enough to convince me. "As I said before, we'll see." I pause before changing the subject. "Are we heading to the dark side of the moon now?"

"Yes, but we're going much slower than usual. Fox damaged the engines getting to you in time. An engineer is being sent out to us. It shouldn't take more than a few days to get back, I think."

"I'm sorry about the engines, but grateful you came in time. There were some dreadful looking aliens there."

Anna reaches over and puts a hand over mine. "It never crossed any of our minds not to come after you. That's what we do, rescue humans from enslavement. And you most of all. Commander Fox is our leader. We'd all lay down our lives for his. No one is more suited for his position to protect Earth than him, and as far as we're all concerned, he's chosen you as his life partner."

Her tone is so serious. I want to contradict her, but I don't because that'd take away from what they did for me. And to be honest, I don't say anything more than, "Thank you," because I'm ignorant of this whole situation. What do I know about the galaxy? I know I love Fox, but if he's such an important man, will he really want to marry someone so weak he had to save her from being sold as a slave?

"Here it is," Anna says, leading me into a small dining room where I recognize her husband, one of the young doctors, Axl, and, of course, my Fox. Everyone is waiting for us it seems. Anna is unperturbed by this. "We're only a few minutes late," she says as we take our seats across from one another in the middle of the table. Fox is to my left and Axl to my right.

"Thank you," I say as Fox pours me what I suppose is wine. I wait for everyone's cup to be filled, as there are no glasses here, only black ceramic mugs.

Fox raises his cup and makes a toast in his language, which everyone can understand but me. Then he makes eye contact, his green eyes intense, and says, "Moer."

"Moer," I repeat the strange word for yes back to him. Then we all drink. I try to make eye contact with everyone at the table after I've had a sip, and then my eyes go to Anna. "What did I just agree to?"

"A successful mission retrieving you and a quick journey home," Anna translates.

"And the food?" I ask as I investigate my plate.

"It's actually food from Earth, but it's been dried and then brought back to life and prepared in an Alliance fashion. It's turnips and chicken. Don't expect much taste or texture. Alliance people have more tastebuds than we do."

"I hope there's something more exciting for dessert." I look at the bland food and move it around with the three-pronged fork. I thought Fox was only giving me bland food at lunch because he was worried I was ill.

"There'll be no dessert. Alliance people don't believe in eating unhealthy food. Although they're changing their habits on the base."

Anna's last sentence sparks the men at the table to start talking all around her in a playful way. I wish I knew what they were saying. I look at Anna for a summary.

"They took offense that I told you they sometimes eat chocolate and ice cream." She smiles. "For Alliance people, this is a sin against the goddesses."

I don't fully understand why that would be, but I don't question it further as the table is engaged in a flowing conversation now, and I don't want it to stop for me. I eat my plain dinner and drink the wine quietly, wondering if it's Italian wine. As I look over the table's occupants speaking this alien language, I think about their lives away from their homeworld, on the nearest rock to Earth, and decide they might be some of the most selfless people in the galaxy. Giving up their homes to protect humans who don't even know they exist. I can't think of anything more admirable.

As the conversation and laughter continue, I wonder when and if I'll get a translator and understand their words and their culture. Will I ever know these people more than I do right now? I look over at Fox and reckon he would be the one to decide. And I wonder what he really wants from our relationship. Is he going to return me to Earth and then just wish me well? Or is he going to ask me to stay with him on the dark side of the moon? And if he did ask me formally, which he hasn't done, would I stay?

My thoughts are interrupted by Anna asking me a question for Fox. I hadn't even realized he was speaking to me even though he had been looking directly at me. "Fox wants me to teach you any sentences in Alliance you want to know. We have a few days before you'll have access to a handheld translator."

I blush. The only sentences I want to be able to understand in his language are not for an audience, but I manage to reply, "I can't think of anything off the top of my head."

Anna, quick to hide my embarrassment, suggests, "Well, you know yes and no. What about more and less?"

I nod. "Yes, those would be useful," I say, my mind mushy and overrun with hormones because I'm only thinking about one thing right now. I cross my legs in the tight jeans under the table.

Anna continues, "I need. I want. What's this called?" Then she looks over at Fox, "Commander, I expect you to be a good teacher for Helga."

I see Fox blush a little on his grey cheeks although his expression doesn't change.

Anna translates for him, "She's a fast learner."

I hold up my hand. "Stop. I can't remember anymore."

"One more thing, kaf. That means the pleasure you get from running your fingers through your lover's hair. I don't know if you have noticed, but some Alliance men don't like to use the word ‘love.' It's sacred to them, as a result they have a million other words to describe how love feels and actions or emotions only associated with lovers and these words usually aren't sexual. It's very romantic actually."

"I didn't know about the love thing," I say, not wanting to meet Fox's eyes, in case he's embarrassed that he told me he loved me. And I don't want Anna to have to translate anything personal for him like this.

"Oh," Anna backtracks realizing her mistake. "Those words will be very useful for you to understand as you can't be running back and forth to the interview room. And I don't know if the Commander told you, but that's monitored, so…"

Things are making more sense to me now. "Is everywhere monitored? And monitored by whom?"

"It's complicated to explain. Not everywhere is monitored, private quarters aren't…" Fox interrupts her and then she says, "Except by doctors."

Now I understand why he was pulling back. He didn't want the doctor to watch us? Is that really what's going on here? Well, it is a military ship. No sex could absolutely be a rule, I suppose. I wish Anna and I were alone so I could ask for more details without judgment. I feel like she'd happily tell me that and more.

After dinner, Fox takes my hand in his large grey one and leads me to the interview room. We sit across from each other and he asks, "Was everything okay with Anna?"

It's strange to understand him now as if he's speaking perfect German. "Yes, she's a very kind and clever woman. She knows a lot about your culture, I think."

"She does. More than we realize ourselves sometimes. One of our ships is coming to meet us so we can return to base earlier than expected."

"She told me." I hesitate, then find my courage to ask, "Then what happens? Are you going to send me back to Earth?"

"What would you like to happen, Helga?"

I'm frustrated. I want him to tell me what he wants. Isn't that what I just asked? I take a deep breath and then I remind myself what Anna said about the matriarchy. If everything is flipped, he'd be looking to me for direction. I meet his expectant green eyes. "I want our relationship to continue, but I don't know what our options are or if you even want that."

"Of course I want our relationship to continue. I never want you to be out of my sight ever again. If you'll allow me, that is."

"I like the sentiment."

"It's more than sentiment, it's true."

"So if you had your way?"

"I'd marry you right now so that …"

I finish his sentence, "…we could be together forever." My body is tingly with happiness upon hearing that. I must be insane to want to marry a man I met a week ago who's turned out to be an alien, but this feels right.

"Yes, I never want you to be far from me ever again."

"I never want to be so far away from Earth ever again," I say only half sarcastically. Then I say honestly, "I love you. I want to be with you." I realize then I've still not told him my real profession, which I don't want to give up. "But we still have a lot of details to work out."