Chapter 15

Fox

I escort Helga to the small interview room and motion for her to sit. It takes all my willpower to sit across from her and not touch her. Not take her hand to make sure she's really here and I'm not dreaming.

I look into her blue eyes. "You're really here?"

She looks surprised. "I was going to ask you the same thing." Then she points to the ceiling. "Why is there a translator here and not in the medical center?"

"This room is for interviews."

"With humans?"

"Yes, sometimes. Anyone who doesn't have a universal translator."

"Are you interrogating me?"

Her question shocks me. "No. But you don't have a translator, and we left the base so quickly there are no handheld ones here. This is the only room on this ship with an internal translator."

"Why don't you speak German anymore?"

"That was temporary," I explain. I want to lead this conversation, but I was so focused on rescuing her I didn't plan this part. The part where I explain the how and why of me being at Oktoberfest.

"You can't get your German back? I know this sounds like an outrageous request because I don't speak your language, but I would prefer it if we were speaking the same language."

"Sorry, Helga, that's not possible now. I left so quickly to go after you, I didn't think about anything else. Can you forgive me?"

"Forgive you for what?" she asks, her eyes searching my face for true guilt. She wants a confession of everything. Not just for removing the German from my system.

"For not considering your safety. I didn't think those human pirates would go after you to get to me."

"You didn't think…" she trails off. Tears well up in her blue eyes. "You didn't care enough about me to think they'd see me as something useful?"

I get out of my chair quickly and push aside the table between us. I fall to my knees in front of her. I take her small hands in mine and say, earnestly, "No. I'm sorry. I didn't think they'd go after you because I'm so in love with you that I can think of nothing else but you. Every moment I breathe, I think of you. Every heartbeat in my chest has your name on it, Helga. So I didn't think, I couldn't think. I couldn't anticipate anything. You mean everything to me and I've risked everything I have to see you safe."

She begins to cry. I hope this is a reaction to everything that's happened to her, not that my words aren't reaching her. I rise, taking her with me. When we are both standing, I embrace her, running my hands through her matted blonde hair, and say softly, "I'm so sorry for everything."

"Okay," she replies softly against my chest. Her bare lips on my naked skin feel wonderful and ‘okay' seems like the sweetest word I've ever heard because it's a sign she's forgiven me.

She's holding me tighter now and I breathe deeply, the first time since I found out she was taken. "I'm sorry," I repeat.

"I hear that in your voice."

Her words are confusing to me and I don't know what to say now, so I say nothing. She's still holding me and allowing me to stroke her hair so I assume she's letting my apology settle in. After seven minutes I ask, "Is there anything you want to know now?"

"Are you really grey?"

I momentarily freeze. "Yes, I'm really grey. But nothing else was a lie."

"I believe you. You were on the verge of telling me you were grey before I was taken. I know that for sure now."

"Had you really believed me before you left Earth, would it have changed things between us? I mean how you feel about me?"

"You mean if I had known there was a risk I would be abducted?"

"I was more thinking about our future, if a future us was a possibility."

She doesn't answer for a long minute, and I didn't realize I was holding my breath until she begins to speak. "I don't know because we can't go back. This," she motions to the interview room and then her finger rests on me, "happened."

"I swear to you that I didn't go to Earth to lead you on and then leave."

"What were you doing then?"

"I came down to Earth to find you. You're my true other half. We're meant to be together. Don't you remember the first night we chatted. I told you I had come to Oktoberfest to meet a wife."

"I thought it was a joke."

"My being an alien or looking for a wife at Oktoberfest?"

"Both, but definitely more the looking for a wife at Oktoberfest. I thought you said you were an alien because you worked for the European Space Agency and couldn't tell me what you really did because it was classified."

"I prayed to the goddesses to help me find a wife. I went to Oktoberfest and entered the tent named Heaven of the Bavarians and I met you. Now I can't imagine my life without you."

"Are you going to move to Germany and live in disguise as a human so that we can be together?"

I step away just enough to look into her eyes. I keep my hands on her small shoulders. "No. I can't do that. I have my command, it's my life's work."

"And I have mine."

I don't want to be dismissive of her position as a server. "I'm sure we can come to a compromise. Right now, I just want to hold you. I was so worried I'd never see you again."

"I was nervous too. When I stood on that auctioning block I thought the life I knew, everything I knew was over."

"I'm so sorry, Helga. That should have never happened."

"Well, now I know the dangers of the galaxy for a human. But I want to know what the good parts are," she says and then takes my face in her hands, and I lean down and kiss her. It's a strange sensation because this is the first time she's seeing me as I really am, without my human mask, and it feels good that she's forgiven me and accepted me. I'm under no illusion that she'll agree to be my wife, but at least she's still talking to me after everything that's happened. I kiss her lightly and then deeply. I wrap my arms around her and lift her up so our faces are equal. She tastes deliciously sweet.

When she pulls away, I survey her swollen lips and run one of my fingers across her pink lower lip. "I want to offer you a place to bathe and clean clothing before I show you anything else good about the galaxy."

"I'm that disgusting?"

I kiss her again to prove that she's not. "I'm not a good host if I allow you to remain like this."

"I'll change my clothes and bathe only if we'll be together while I'm doing it. I don't want to be alone."

"It'll be my pleasure to guide you through the whole process. But remember, you won't understand me once we leave this room."

"But you can understand me?"

"Yes. I have a universal translator."

"So as soon as we walk out this door, I'll only hear your language?"

"Yes."

"It's weird. When we're in here, I hear you as if you're speaking German. How does that work?"

I appreciate her curiosity. "I promise to explain it another time. Now, I was going to help you bathe." I run a hand down the side of her cheek, then her jaw, down to her neck, and then I have to stop myself from caressing the top of her breasts. Her skin is wet with sweat and smeared with dirt. I don't care though. I still very much want her, and by the look in her eyes, pupils dilated, she feels the same.

As we walk toward the door, she stops. "As soon as we're on the other side, can you say the words yes and no, in that order, so at least I know those two words in your language?"

It's a clever request, and I don't know why I didn't think of it myself. "I will."

We step through the threshold, and the door to the interview room closes behind us. Helga is looking up at me seriously, her face concentrating on my mouth. I say, "Yes. No," clearly separated. I control myself from saying anything more as she repeats the words a few times. They are simple words, I think. I don't know. Unlike my men, I've never learned another language. After a minute, I begin leading her to my temporary accommodation on the Des . As we walk, I realize there's so much I should have told her in the interview room, like where I live and that this is not my permanent accommodation. Too late now , I think to myself as we walk into my small temporary quarters.

I quietly show her in and help her in the bathroom. I don't wait for her to tell me what to do. I begin unbuttoning her soiled Oktoberfest uniform down the front and then take off the small shirt that used to be white. I remove her bra and underwear. I feel nothing but shame that I allowed her to be abducted. I start the water in the shower.

"It won't be as warm as you'd probably like it, but it's the best we have at the moment," I say, even though I know she can't understand me. I hope my tone is enough to give her some comfort. I then make eye contact with her and say, "Yes," while I motion to the water. I guide her in and program the shower to apply a special soap so she doesn't have to do much but stand there. It's for when people are wounded and can't move properly. "Just relax and let the water and soap wash you."

Helga stands under the water for a few minutes and then reaches out a hand to me. "You need to shower too."

I only consider her offer for a second before taking off my trousers and joining her. It's a tight fit, but it works as the water falls at the exact size of the person or persons in the standing area beneath. I look down at her all wet and clean now. I put my hands on both sides of her pale face. She needs to eat and rest. I have a strong urge to just take care of her now. And there's so much I want to say, but she won't understand any of it. So I tell her with my lips. I bring them down to hers. It's the most beautiful feeling to have her here like this, the warm water running over our naked bodies and making new paths where we're touching. It feels like we are one. She is my true other half. My soul mate. I feel it and I think she must feel it too or she wouldn't be here like this.

After the kiss I pull back, not because I don't want to be intimate with her; I do and that's exactly why I'm pulling back. I'm a disciplined man, but I don't think I have the strength to resist her if we go any further, and I don't want to use her vulnerable position to take advantage of her now. I'm making this decision based on the assumption that we'll have the rest of our lives to have sex in the shower.

"I need you, Fox," she says, desire lacing her tone.

I feel mute. I need words to explain everything. My emotions and to explain that even having her here is breaking the rules. Technically, she should be with Anna. And if we were to go further, to have sex, it'd be recorded by the medical center, which feeds directly back to the High Priestess.

My hand touches her cheek tenderly. "I want you too, but not now, not like this," I say, and then add as softly as I can, one of the words she knows in my language, "No." Normally, I'd never use such a strong word with her in this situation, but this is the harsh reality of not being fluent in a lover's language.

"No?" she repeats the word, but it's my word not hers. I know because I hear it with a slight accent but not enough that my translator kicks on.

I shake my head to soften it.

"I don't understand, but I guess you have your reasons."

"Yes," I say.

She gives me a half smile.

"Is it because you don't want to?"

"No," I say and bring her hand to my semi-erect penis. But I realize quickly that was a mistake because she begins stroking me. I close my eyes. Her touch feels amazing. And I let her continue or a second longer before gently moving her hand away. Then I look into her eyes, mostly pupils now, and say, "No."

She stands on her toes and I lean down to kiss her. To soften this brutal yes-and-no exchange. "Is it because it breaks some kind of rules here?"

"Yes," I answer, pleased that she's so clever.

"Have you been with a human woman before?"

I wasn't expecting that question. I hesitate. "No."

"Have you had sex with other aliens like you?"

"Yes."

"Many?"

"Yes." It's obvious she doesn't like that answer, but I won't lie to her. I'm not a stranger to sex.

"Since you met me?"

"No."

She relaxes a little now. Then she looks up at the water and lets it run down her face. It must feel good after the way she was likely kept. I can't even begin to imagine how dirty the human-led ship was. I run my hands through her long blonde hair. It's much thinner than mine, and I'm fascinated by the different shades of color running through it.

After a minute, she asks me another question. "Do you love me?"

"Yes." I'm surprised she's asking me this again, but then, what do I really know about human women? Caroline often reminds me that I know very little. But I do know from Sem, Ivy often wants to be verbally reminded of his love and I think it's safe to say the goddesses haven't denied them their love so this gives me the confidence to use the word.

"I love you too," she says genuinely and puts her hands around my neck.

Instinctively I pick her up. She's so soft and feels so good against my body. But, I get a flashback to just a few hours ago when I was carrying her out of Gala. I'm never going to let her go , I think as the warm water pours over us. I'm going to keep her safe forever.

A few minutes later the water switches off and the warm dryer turns on all around us. Helga tries to exit the cubicle but I hold her to me and say, "Yes."

She nods and we stand quietly as the dryer does its duty. When dry, we exit the bathroom, and I give her one of my clean uniform tunics, which is gigantic on her, and guide her to the bed. Once she's in it and under the blankets she asks, "Is this your bed?"

"Yes."

"I want to sleep and I know this is selfish of me, but please don't leave me alone."

I point to the desk on the other side of the bed. Then I go over and switch on the computer. "Yes?"

"You'll stay here?"

"Yes," I tell her. Then I return to her side of the bed, lean over, and kiss her forehead as I gently push her head back against the pillows. I check that the bed is turned on to make her as comfortable as possible, meaning it will adjust to her breathing and moving habits to enable her to sleep as long and peacefully as possible.

When she closes her eyes, I walk over to the desk and sit down. I have a message from the High Priestess. No doubt she watched everything on the live feed from Gala. You have to pay for the feed, but I'm certain the High Priestess would think it worth the cost to keep an eye on me. The only thing I can say is that at least Helga was sold at a small animal pet shop and not one of the bigger slave auctions. The humans who sold her obviously had some remorse about what they were doing otherwise they would have sold her to the biggest, baddest Octopod trader they could find. Not a semi-respectable Silver trader.

I open her message to see if she knows about the skirmish when we left.

Commander Fox,

I'm glad you recovered your human. However, you went over the budget I gave you. You are forcing your own path not the one the goddesses set for you.

Do not stray into the darkness.

High Priestess

The price you set for me , I think, not the goddesses . But at least she doesn't mention the shots fired as we left.

I get out my IC and send a message to Axl. I explain that Helga is asleep and doesn't want to be alone. He gets back to me that he has the bridge and everything is under control, although we only have half the speed for our return trip to the base. At least the High Priestess doesn't know I ruined the engines getting to Helga.

I open a new message to my mother. We've not spoken in a few months. It occurs to me that I need to do this in a VM and not with the written word. I look back at Helga and switch on the silent mode for the bed so I won't disturb her. Then I begin, "May the goddesses light your path, Mother. I have some news." I tell her about attending Oktoberfest with Axl and meeting Helga. "She is a worthy woman and the perfect woman to serve Alliance Force as my wife. However, before I could ask her to marry me, she was abducted by disgruntled human pirates and sold at Gala. I know what you're thinking: that it might have been the goddesses' will, but," I touch one finger to my heart, "I know Helga is my true other half. She was not meant to be a slave. She's meant to be my wife. We complete each other's thoughts just like you and Father. I never want to be apart from her." I take a deep breath, thinking about my next words carefully. "I knew I would have to buy her at auction on Gala. The High Priestess agreed and granted me five thousand UCs for the purchase, but Helga sold for nine thousand and fifty UCs. I have only five hundred UCs to my name. I'm asking you to gift me the remaining four thousand and fifty UCs so that I can use the five hundred I have to fix my engine that I ran into the ground getting to Helga before she was sold to another. May the goddesses continue to shine their light on you and the Empire. Signing off, Commander of the Alliance Force and your son." I touch the button to end the VM, hesitating only for a moment before I hit send.

I don't need to explain to my mother what's at stake. She's a representative in the High Council and knows that my position is a precarious one and that the High Priestess may take this opportunity to replace me. Even though I'm no longer an official member of my mother's House, I'm still her son and her reputation will suffer if I'm cast out of the Alliance Force. I never thought I'd have to ask my family for financial help, but then again, I never thought I'd be rescuing my human from Gala.

I look at my blank screen. I don't expect an answer soon. My mother will have to consult with the middling-class of her House. But it's not a question of UCs as the House is imperial and wealthy, it's a question of strategy. Of whether or not it's better to come to my aid or let me wrestle this out with the High Priestess.

I take a deep breath. Physically and emotionally, I'm exhausted. I take a pillow and sleep on the floor next to the bed so if Helga wakes up, I'll be right here. I don't want to share the bed with her because she isn't used to that. It might make her more scared if she wakes up and can't remember where she is and feels another person there. Humans have very poor night vision. The last thing I want to do is scare her again.

A few times during the night, Helga wakes up with nightmares. Each time I do my best to comfort her and coax her back to sleep, although I don't know how well this works as she can't understand me, but she recognizes my voice, so that's something.

In the morning, I try to wake her for the morning meal. I make hand gestures of eating to make myself understood, but she says she just wants to sleep. I let her sleep and I skip the meal as well so that she's not alone. From my quarters, I have been quietly monitoring our progress back to base, but soon, I know I must get back on the bridge.

By midday, Helga is awake. I realize I don't have any clothing for her besides my tunic, which is inappropriate for her to wear outside my quarters, so I have the midday meal brought to us. There's a small table in these quarters and we make do. I can't say I'm as hungry as she seems to be, and I actually give her some of my food. She looks tired but good. Her eyes no longer have the bright red rims from crying that they had yesterday.

I use my IC to summon Anna to my quarters after the midday meal. I tell her what I want Helga to know and she translates, "Fox must go to the bridge. I'm going to stay here with you." Anna also holds out some clothing for Helga. I assume it's her own that she brought to share. I thank Anna for her thoughtfulness.

Helga gets up and takes the clothing and then heads toward the bathroom. On her way she kisses my cheek, which surprises me, and I think I even blush in front of Anna. "Don't forget I'm here waiting for you, Fox."

I make eye contact with Anna and then leave. As soon as I'm in the corridor, I put my hand to where Helga had kissed me. The overwhelming thought that I can't live without her runs through my mind. And for a moment, I just stand there, dumbfounded. Lovestruck.

I enter the bridge. "Report."

"Sem is sending the Ge out with an engineer to meet us. It should be here tomorrow."

"Good." After checking our scanners and making sure there's nothing odd, I enter my office off the bridge and RVM Sem on Alliance Force.

"You walk in the goddesses' light," he says.

"We were lucky."

"Axl is an amazing shot. We should use him for more stealth missions. That is if you deem him trustworthy yet." Of course, Sem saw what happened in real time, Alliance Force has an on-going subscription to watch the live feed from Gala since it's so intertwined with our work.

"Whether or not Georgiana would allow him to leave for long periods of time is the issue. Have you heard anything more from the human-led ships?"

"I received an RVM from one of the human traders."

"They're traders now?"

"I don't know what to call them. Pirates or traders." He makes a hand gesture indicating that it doesn't matter. "You won't believe this. He wanted to emigrate to Earth and asked how he could do that."

"By GC law he can't."

"I know. But it got me thinking. Is it really fair? These people, especially the humans born in the galaxy, are condemned to a life living on the fringes because of what happened to their parents, grandparents, or great-grandparents. But they are one hundred percent human."

"No, it's not fair. The galaxy isn't fair. But we don't make the laws. What's this all about?"

"I had an idea. We need more help on the base. We could adopt some of these humans to work for us."

I'm shocked at first, and then I take a second to consider Sem's proposition. This would check a lot of boxes for Alliance Force, but goddesses only know how trustworthy these galactic, stateless humans are. "That's the start of a good plan," I tell him. "But we'll need a system for vetting those who apply and a set of rules that they would need to live by. And the biggest question would be, are they willing to sign up for life and live by the goddesses' decrees?"

"They would have to. That's the only way we could count on their loyalty," Sem says.

"We need to work out a plan. Hopefully, this could solve our staffing problems. But integration with our officers would be difficult."

"Which is why they need to pledge themselves to Alliance Force for life just as we have done. It can't be a two-tier system."

"But giving humans the same rights as Alliance Force officers? It's a lot to consider and we'd have to figure out a way to convince the High Priestess. In her mind, humans from Earth are the Lost People, but humans whose heritage has been tainted by ancestors being pets are simply other humans."

"I didn't say it'd be easy. I said I had a plan."

"And it's a good one," I say then sign off with Sem and then answer some of my more pressing messages. Finally, I put in a RVM to the High Priestess. She doesn't answer and I think, all the better . I really didn't want to have to tell her that after I spent all the UCs and more buying Helga back, she hasn't agreed to marry me yet. But I haven't asked her either. I just don't think now is the right time, directly after being abducted and sold at a slave auction because of me.